The Alpha's Mutt

“What does that mean?” I pressed.

“Only you have the power to make that choice.” She shrugged, casually. “I plucked you from that reality at the very moment that you would have been annihilated. So, while your body was badly damaged, it was never destroyed. You are not dead, technically, but you are also no longer on that plane of existence. Your body has been recovering nicely during the time that you have been here. Therefore, if you so choose, you could be returned to earth. Or…”

“Or…” I pressed with a raised eyebrow, curious as to what She thought She could offer me that was better than my life.

“Or you could stay here with Me. We could rule over this realm together. I will even give you special dominion over the wolves. You did sacrifice everything to save their species after all. We could rule for eternity, side by side. Mother and daughter finally united.”

I considered Her offer for a moment. It was a difficult one to pass up. I could finally get a chance to know my mother. A chance to build a relationship with Her. And, on top of that, I could protect the wolves much better as a Goddess than I ever could as a mere demigod wolf trying to live a normal life on earth. Everyone already believed me dead; I could simply leave it that way and allow them to move on with their lives without me. Would it not be easier for everyone that way? Would it not be more confusing for them if I were to suddenly return after being blinked out of existence before their very eyes?

I weighed my options carefully, wanting to be absolutely certain that I made the right one. I was so close to taking my mother up on Her offer, that I really hate to admit it. But then…I heard the most heartbreaking mournful howl that I had ever heard. It had traveled across the vast emptiness of the universe in order to reach my ears. It wracked its way through my being and touched at my very soul.

It was Farris.

I recognized it instantly. And I knew then what I had to do.

“You said that You were not my father’s true mate. Why then did he believe that You were?” I asked.

“The effect of being confronted with the sight of his Goddess for the first time. He smelled My heavenly scent and looked into My eyes, seeing the Goddess that he already loved and adored. It was really My fault for being too selfish to tell him the truth of it until it was too late.” She explained, the guilt present on Her face, consuming Her. “But I wanted it to be true when he called Me his mate. So, I pretended that it was.”

“You do not have mate?” The understanding finally dawning on me.

“I am afraid not.” She sighed. “Gods are meant to be perfect beings, though, I hardly believe that to be so. But, as such, Our soul is complete from the moment that We came into existence. We cannot have another half in the way you wolves do because We are already both halves of Our own soul. Not that it makes Our lives any less lonely.”

“That is sad.”

“It is. I will never know love like the wolves do. That is why We often resort to selfish behaviors like I did when it came to your father.”

“If Gods do not have other halves, then am I Farris’s true mate? Or have I stolen him from another?” I asked the question that I had really wanted the answer to ever since hearing Farris’s howl a few moments ago.

If I am truly a demigod, can I have a mate? Or am I doomed the way that the other Gods seemed to be.

“Oh…no, honey, you have not stolen Farris from anyone. You do not have to worry about such things. You are only a demigod and demigods are imperfect beings. Plus, you are half wolf. All wolves have a mate, even the mutts. You and Farris were made for each other, two halves of the same soul. I assure you.”

“Good.” I sighed, releasing a breath that I had not realized I had been holding. “If that is the case, then I would like to go back.” I asserted without further hesitation.

“Are you certain? I am offering you immortality, here. This is not a decision that I would make lightly.”

“I am sure, and I am not making this decision lightly.” I affirmed. “Your death killed my father, slowly and painfully, and You were not even his true mate. If I can go back to Farris and spare him that pain, then that is what I am going to do. I love him too much to allow him to suffer for me for even a moment, if I can prevent it. Not to mention…” I paused, being honest with myself about whether or not I would ever truly be happy here in this realm without him here with me and the answer was a resounding no.

“I could never leave him behind if I did not have to. I want to be with him. I need to be with him. I would never enjoy my time here knowing that I missed that chance to return to him. I want to hold him in my arms again. I want to feel his body against mine. I want to look into his golden eyes and know that they shine for me. I want to stand by his side as we navigate the trials of life. I want to start a family and then I want to grow old together, watching it grow as well. I cannot deny that for either of us. As much as I wish that I could stay here with You. There is no home without Farris.”

“I understand, My child. Believe me, I do.” She assured me. “I will prepare you for your return.”

A short time later, I stood in the clearing with the small stream running through it. It was the same place that Farris and I had run to on the first day that I had used my new abilities. I smiled at the memory before beginning my trek through the woods that would lead me back to the pack house.

As I traveled, I thought of all the things that I was going to say. How was I going to explain everything that happened? How would I relay all that I had learned while I was away? Would they even believe a thing that I had to offer? Hugo had seen me obliterated in a flash of light. What if they did not believe that I had actually returned? What if they did not trust anything I had to say? What if they thought me some kind of impostor posing as their Alpha?

My anxiety began to build as the fears bubbled up inside of me with every step that I began to take. For a brief time, I wondered if I had been correct in my initial thought that my return would only do more harm than good. However, all those feelings disappeared when I laid my eyes on the pack house again for the first time.

I could see the beautiful memorial that the packs had erected in honor of the fallen and it touched my soul. I approached the small monument and saw my framed photo in the center. Messages of kindness hung all around from those whose lives I had touched. The tears began to well up within my eyes as I looked over the outpouring of love.

It was then that I noticed a beautiful necklace hanging on the corner of my picture. Two wolf heads whose noses touched to form a heart. One gold wolf and one silver. I ran my finger over the moonstone in the center and felt the cool, smooth surface beneath my skin. Farris’s face came intruding into my thoughts and I felt the urge to see him immediately. I needed to hold him. I needed to tell him that everything would be alright and that I would never leave him again. I felt renewed in my resolve to find my mate and end his suffering.

I marched into the pack house without a second thought. I ignored the gasps and the whispers of “Alpha” as I passed. There would be time to explain everything to the others later. My mate was in the worst pain imaginable, and I was the only one who could end his torment. I was a she-wolf on a mission.

I did not need to search for Farris. I did not need to ask others where he would be. Nor did I have to seek out his scent. I knew exactly where he was at a time like this. He would be too depressed to have resumed pack duties, so there was really only one place that he could be.

I pushed the door open softly, not wanting to alert him to my presence until I was in sight. I peeked my head in and saw him sitting on the edge of our bed, clutching onto my pillow. He stared at the floor as if there were a movie playing out there that only he could see. I could see his bloodshot eyes and the dark bags that sat beneath them. I sensed the agony rolling off him in waves.

I knew the look all too well. I had seen that same vacant stare in my father’s eyes many times before he passed. So consumed by his loss that he could not cope with life continuing around him. I could not bear the thought of Farris suffering that same fate. I could look on at this scene no longer.

“Farris.” I called out, gently, as I stepped into the room and pushed the door closed behind me.

I did not want to startle him, but I was not certain that there was any real way around that. His head immediately rose, and his eyes shot over towards me. He stared at me, unblinking, as if he could not comprehend what he was seeing. I knew that it had to be a shock, so I moved slowly as I took a few steps in his direction.

“Farris.” I tried again.

“Mysti.” His voice croaked as the tears began to fall from his eyes.

“It’s me, Farris. It’s really me.” I offered as I took a couple more steps towards him.

“But…” He gasped as he looked me up and down, moving the pillow from his lap as he turned his body towards me. “How…”

I could not help myself any longer. I did not wish to rush him as I was certain that he would be in shock, but I needed to be near him. I needed to feel his energy mingling with mine. I needed to be engulfed in his scent. I would not touch him until he was ready for me to do so. But I had to be close, much closer than this. So, I hurried over to the bed and closed the distance between us as I settled down next to him.

“We have a lot to talk about.” I explained. “But just know that it is really me and I am so sorry for what I put you through. I swear that I will never do anything like that ever again.”

“It…it’s really you…” Farris marveled as he stared into my eyes.

He reached out his hand and placed it against my cheek. I felt the familiar tingles that only existed between mates, and I sighed as I leaned into his touch. This was what I had longed for. This had made everything worth it for me. The feeling of being right here…with him.

“I am so sorry, Farris.” I apologized again as I stared into his tired, golden eyes.

“Oh, Mysti…” He cried out as he pulled me into him. “None of that matters now. Nothing matters as long as I have you back.”

He wrapped his arms around me and held me against his chest. I scooted myself over and climbed into his lap, wrapping myself around him. He buried his face into the crook of my neck as he breathed me in. He held me tighter than he ever had before as he began to sob. No longer an expression of his devastation but rather of his relief. I clutched onto him, feeling his body shaking beneath me, and I began to cry as well.

“I am here, Farris. I am here and I will never leave you again.”