SWNOVELS : Chapter 74
Fiona
“Can I fight him? Please?” Nina was brandishing a forkful of chicken-fried steak in front of her like it was a weapon.
“Truthfully, Nina?” I looked her up and down, as if considering how well she’d match up against Alexander in a fight. “I don’t think that you could.”
She rolled her eyes. Silver sparkles on her eyelids cast tiny rainbows all around every time she moved, catching and refracting the diner’s bright fluorescent lights. “Okay, you may be right about that. But I’d still love to give it a try. Even if I could get just a couple blows in.” She whipped her free hand back into a fist behind her head, as if about to throw a punch. A hint of a growl vibrated from her throat.
“Thanks, Nina, but you don’t need to sacrifice yourself
She shook her head, swallowed a mouthful of meat, and then asked in an urgent whisper, “Do you want to stay with him after this, Fiona? Do you want to keep living with him there at the palace?”
I pushed the food on my plate around with my fork.
“What choice do I really have, at least while I’m pregnant? And where would I even go, hmm? It’s not like I could move back in with my parents.”
Nina shrugged. “I’d help you figure something out. But I get it. It’s just that as your best friend, it’s my job to tell you this right now: you deserve better, Fiona.
That’s the truth and don’t you forget it.”
“I just need to get through the next couple months. He plans to divorce me anyway, as soon as the baby is born.”
“Are you sure he still wants that?” Nina arched one of her perfect eyebrows.
Her question caught me by surprise. “What?”
“Are you sure he’s still planning to divorce you?” she repeated.
“Why wouldn’t he?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “What do you think the flowers were about, then?”
I was not following whatever point she was trying to make. “I don’t know. He’s trying to convince me to forgive him? To stop being mad? Why, what do you think they mean?”
Nina frowned. “When you hear the whole story the
way you just told it to me, one thing seems really clear.” She paused, studying my face. I suppose waiting to see if I knew the answer. I did not. “He’s crazy about you.” She said these four words slowly, like she was teaching me a phrase in a foreign language.
I felt my cheeks flush warm. “I don’t know about that,”
I muttered dismissively.
“It’s not an excuse for him being a monster. But it is what’s happening, whether or not you—or he—want to admit it.”
I spent several hours with Nina at the diner, talking and eating until she succeeded in lightening my mood. Our bedroom was dark when I returned to the palace, and Alexander was nowhere to be seen.
I took advantage of the solitude he was allowing me
and soaked a long while in a warm, lavender-scented bath. I readied for bed and curled up with a book I wanted to start reading, but sleep overtook me as soon as my body was horizontal.
I took advantage of the solitude he was allowing me and soaked a long while in a warm, lavender-scented bath. I readied for bed and curled up with a book I wanted to start reading, but sleep overtook me as soon as my body was horizontal.
Alexander’s return startled me awake not long after that, though. If the sounds of his clumsy entrance hadn’t woken me, the atrocious smell he brought in with him would have. It filled the room as soon as he stepped inside. He smelled like a farm. Like a combination of animal manure, rusty metal and damp wool. His long golden hair was windblown, looking tangled and wild.
His energy was strange, too. He hurried inside and closed himself in the bathroom quickly. The shower turned on a beat later, confirming he was aware of how badly he smelled. But in the few moments it took Alexander to cross the room in the dark, I could have sworn I heard the hammering sound of his heart beating wildly against his ribcage, pounding hard with some intense emotion.
I shifted under the covers and put a pillow over my face to try to escape the unpleasant smell Alexander had dragged in, but it didn’t work. I had to get out of bed and go open a window so that the ripe smell could start airing out.
The bathroom door opened just as I finally managed to get myself comfortably settled in bed once again.
Fragrant steam came pouring out of the doorway, at last diluting the unfortunate aroma, filling the room with floral and pine scents instead.
I closed my eyes, willing Alexander to leave me alone.
But he turned the bathroom light off, paced directly over to the bed naked and climbed under the covers. I felt his body heat diffusing under the sheets. A shiver ran through my body as it started warming up to a more comfortable temperature.
“Fiona.” Alexander’s voice was a tense whisper.
I sighed. “What?”
“Please. Can I hold you?”
I could hardly contain my irritation. “No. I just want to go to sleep.”
Alexander’s weight shifted. His heart was still racing –
I could hear it. “Please,” he continued. “I just want to
make you feel good. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll do anything for you. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.
Please.”
Was he drunk? He didn’t smell of alcohol, but his behavior was so strange, I couldn’t think of another way to explain it. And where in the world had he been tonight?
Whatever was going on with Alexander, I didn’t like it.
The strange smell, the odd demeanor, the overly excited state. It was all unsettling.
He suddenly felt like a total stranger to me.
I told him to leave me alone.
Birdsong and the first light of dawn peeking in through
the open widow were a relief. I hardly slept at all through the night, but was forcing myself to stay in bed, resting my body, for as long as I could tolerate.
Alexander had been awake all night, tossing and turning in bed anxiously, keeping me sleepless as well.
It was the weekend, and usually I would be all for spending a lazy morning snoozing under a warm blanket, especially after a hellish week like the one I’d had. But after spending the night patiently lying beside someone I was furious with, I just wanted to get away from him now that the light of day allowed me to do so.
Alexander was up by the time I got out of the shower.
He’d opened the curtains and was standing at the window, gazing outside and sipping a glass of water.
“Hey,” he said quietly, looking at me with a defeated
“Morning.” I made my way to my dressing room and started rifling through my clothes. I’d decided overnight that I was going to go see my grandfather this morning. I was overdue to pay him a visit, and spending time with someone who made me feel good about myself was something I needed right now, too.
The awful things Alexander said to me in my office were not just cruel. They were extra hurtful because they were so much like what my father had been saying to me. It was bad enough to hear my own father tell me I was a whore. But then Alexander went and hurt me with the same terrible insult.
And I had only just finished telling my father that my fiancé was a better man than he was. So much for that idea. Maybe the two men were more alike than I could have imagined. They were both willing to
degrade and demean a woman they once claimed to care about. If nothing else, they had that in common.
I pulled a dress from the back of the closet that looked like it would fit. It was pale peach, lightweight and drapey, floor-length with side slits that came up to just the knee. I selected matching earrings next and made my way back to the bedroom.
Alexander eyed my ensemble with curiosity. “Going somewhere?” he asked, glancing at the clock.
“Yes. The nursing home. It’s been too long since I’ve seen Grandfather.” I sat at the foot of the bed and swept my hair over one shoulder, then started tying it into a side braid.
He nodded. “I’d love to come with you, if that’s alright.
Can I?”
I finished tying up the end of my braid and looked him square in the eye before answering, “No, thanks. I’d rather go alone.”