SWNOVELS : Chapter 113
Fiona
A sharp cramp in my abdomen nearly buckled my knees in the middle of the morning meeting.
I gritted my teeth through the sudden pain, doing my best to make sure no one in the room was any the wiser to my troubles. No one seemed to notice.
That’s just instinct to me—hiding pain. It’s a well-practiced skill, and one that’s useful in many
situations. Fighting? Letting your opponent see your pain gives them power and makes you more vulnerable.
And this executive meeting? What a wonderful thing that would be to break down in front of everyone, just when I’m trying to win over their confidence in my leadership abilities. I did not need my coworkers to start seeing me as a delicate, wailing pregnant lady who probably ought to be home with her feet up instead of here bossing them around.
I slowly made my way over to my seat at the conference table while Gerald finished addressing the room. He passed around stapled packets of paper, copies of some reports I’d asked him to compile and share with the group.
“Thank you Gerald,” I said when he was finished. I looked at my watch. “It’s a few minutes early, but I
think we can call it for today. Thanks to everyone for a productive meeting. Let’s all review Gerald’s reports, and let me or him know if you have any questions.”
My coworkers, perhaps feeling a little lazy with the spare minutes I’d just provided them, were slow to move. I wished they would hurry out of my way. The cramps had eased up, but now I was feeling nauseated. I smiled politely, gathered my materials at what I hoped was a very normal, casual pace, and finally made my way back to my office with calm, measured steps.
When I was alone at the end of the hall, I stepped inside my office in even stride, closed the door quietly behind me, and locked it. Only then did I allow my smile to drop. I closed the blinds on the hallway-facing windows, paced quickly to my desk, sat in my chair, snatched up my little waste bin and vomited into it.
I groaned. The effort of holding that back for so long plus the plain exertion of throwing up had me wiped out. I cautiously set the bin back down on the floor and then rested my head on the desk, piling my forearms under my forehead for a pillow. I noted that my face was slick with sweat.
This was due to sleep deprivation. And Alexander-deprivation. I could tell.
The previous night had just been terrible. Nothing at all like I’d been expecting when I rushed home to meet my fiancée for dinner.
I’d swallowed down the rage that had threatened to explode inside me last night when I heard about Iris’s claim that I’d attacked her. It was still in there, though.
The anger. I’d extinguished the flame for now, but it was still smoldering. I was still working on stamping out the embers.
Yes, I was angry. I wanted that crazy lady out of our lives. But there was nothing I could do about the situation. I’d said my piece to Alexander, and it would accomplish nothing to complain or press the issue.
I’d slept for several hours overnight after all the drama was done, but I did not sleep well.
I had some very unpleasant dreams. Dreams about the baby coming early and all kinds of things going wrong with the birth. I certainly did not wake up feeling rested.
Those few extra minutes that Alexander had insisted upon spending with me in the morning, though… that was helpful. That little dose of contact with him gave me just enough energy to muscle through that meeting.
I pulled my phone out from my purse and opened up our chat thread.
I didn’t really have anything to talk to him about, though.
I locked the phone again and put it away.
Alexander
“Oh, hi, Alexander.” Iris inched the door of her bedroom open slowly. Her eyes flicked up to meet mine for a second, then darted down to the floor.
Iris seemed subdued. Her energy had changed dramatically since last night.
“Good morning, Iris. Can we talk?”
“Sure, sure. I mean, yes.” She stood back, opening
the door wide. “Come in, if you want. I’ll make us some tea.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Iris hurried over to her little kitchenette while I closed the door behind me. “How’s your head feeling today?” I asked from across the room. “Do you mind if I open a window?”
“Sure.” She didn’t look up from her task. “Go ahead.
My head’s okay. Doctor gave me something earlier.”
I pushed the curtains aside on the big window near the door, then eased the window open. It was a crisp, breezy day. Fresh air and sunlight flooded the room, making it feel easier to breathe inside.
“Here we are,” Iris muttered as she returned with a tea tray carrying two mugs. She set it down on the table and took a seat. I joined, sitting opposite her.
“Listen, Alexander… I’m so sorry about last night.”
Her eyes were downcast, looking at her hands as she fidgeted with her tea. But I could see that they were red and puffy, presumably from a long bout of crying.
She seemed to currently have pulled herself together, though.
“Thank you, Iris. I appreciate that.”
“I am really embarrassed, too. Really embarrassed.”
She covered the small white bandage on her neck with one hand, hanging her head and shifting in her chair. “I understand if you hate me. I understand if you want to send me away.”
“Iris, I don’t hate you. And I certainly don’t want to send you away.”
“Really?” She pulled her eyes up to look at me. They were round and pleading, like a sad puppy dog
“Of course not.” I rubbed my eyes, searching for the right thing to say. “Iris… listen to me. I need you here.
I know I’ve said that a lot already, but it’s true. And I sincerely care about your well-being, too. I want to help take care of you, like you cared for my mother. I just… we need to find a way to coexist here peacefully.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly. “Thank you for being so kind to me. And you got to know, I will never do something like that again. I…” Her breath hitched, but she regained composure before speaking again. “I really want to stay here with you and help you with your investigation. It’s why I left my home and the only person I got that’s like family. Because…”
Her big eyes welled with tears. She looked away and wiped them on the sleeve of her shirt quickly.
“Because she was like family to me, too. Alexandra.
We spent so much time together, and she was always so kind to me. Last night, I think, I just… I went a little crazy for a minute. I don’t know how to explain it, cuz it doesn’t make sense. My life just changed so much, so fast. But I promise I am gonna get myself better.
I’m gonna keep myself busy. Kayden was nice to give me ideas about what to do with my free time. I’m sorry for everything, really. I promise I won’t be so much trouble anymore.”
“I am glad to hear that, Iris.”
She nodded. “Do you, um, want to do the thing today?
The memory thing?”
I shook my head. “No. You should rest. I’ve got some business in the city anyway. Let’s take some time off from the memory exercise. I want you to focus on
“Thanks.” She smiled at me, her eyes glistening. “I got a to-go cup, if you want to take your tea with you. You go on ahead. I’ve been up since early, I think I’ll lie down for a bit now.”
“That’d be great. Thanks.”
Iris bustled away, returning with a paper coffee cup and a plastic lid. She poured my tea from the mug into the cup, handed it to me officiously, and walked with me to the door.
It was a relief to feel her being much less desperate for my attention. To hear her speaking rationally again, too.
The fact was, Iris just wasn’t going to give me everything I needed as quickly as I had initially hoped.
I had pushed her too hard from the jump. Tried to do too much too fast. With a person I knew was not well.
Now, I was coming to terms with the fact that Iris was just going to be around for a while. Keeping her here might be causing some trouble with Fiona, but it was paying off for my investigation—albeit very slowly.
I needed to be patient with Iris, if I wanted access to those valuable memories buried somewhere in her troubled mind.
For now, she was here to stay.