The Alpha & I

She couldn’t concentrate on her book anymore, after reading the same line countless times she'd given up. Hours passed and still, she couldn't shake what she had done. Why'd she been so flamboyant with her words?

Had she offended him? Was she going to get kicked out of the pack? She didn’t bow, was she meant to? To say she was freaking out was an understatement. After much deliberating she had returned to her room, though it didn't help her calm her nerves. Now she was pacing and when it hit 7 p.m. Gail entered her room, she jumped shocked by his sudden entrance.

“I said 7 pm sharp! Come on, everyone’s waiting.” He stated.

She looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Just kill me now.” She groaned. “I was with the Alpha today and didn’t even know it, I was so rude!” She pulled the drawstrings of her hoodie tight making the fabric bunch up around her face.

He laughed. “I know, it’s all he’s been talking about for the last couple of hours.”

Her eyes widened in terror. “Shit! I’m so going to be kicked out.”

He laughed harder. “Actually no, he enjoyed your chat very much, he’s coming tonight, which is surprising since he normally skips these kinds of events.”

“What? He is? He does?” She was so confused but still very, very terrified.

“Most of the she-wolves just try to court him at these things, you’ll see what I mean when you get your ass into gear and come with me.” He took a step toward her reaching for her hand as he spoke.

She took a step back shaking her head. “Yeah, see, I really don’t think-” She was cut off.

“You don’t want to keep him waiting, do you?”

“Shit!” She muttered before agreeing to follow him to the large dining hall that had been decorated for her sake. Even just thinking about it... it was strange to her. What was the fuss all about, she was a nobody.

Much to her disliking Gail made her walk in first, when she entered the room everyone shouted ‘Happy birthday’ and party poppers burst into action. Confetti flew into the air littering the ground and covering her entirely. She stood for a moment looking rather unimpressed. It just seemed like a mess she'd likely have to clean later.

Much to her surprise, there were gifts galore, laughter and cake. It was surreal to her. This was for her? All of it? Couldn't be, but when more and more people encouraged her to eat and open presents it should have sunk in. Instead, she started to feel a little hollow and out of her comfort zone. But it was... nice.

She really hadn’t felt welcome here, but tonight it felt oddly different somehow. The women were first with their gifts, she got some clothing, and a few new books, but the one that nearly brought tears to her eyes was a beautiful head scarf.

They showed her how to wrap it around her neck and head to cover the side of her face that she hated to show, it meant she could actually wear a nice dress if she wanted to. The gesture was really quite touching and entirely unexpected.

The party soon fell silent when a man approached her. All eyes watching and she knew why the minute he spoke. She recognized his voice from earlier.

“Could I have a moment alone?” The Alpha asked.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. She was totally being kicked out; she knew it! This was the end. She stared up at him, a frightened expression on her face. She looked like a hunched-over old hag next to him, she just wanted to hide in a hole.

He had a chiselled jawline, deep blue eyes, short black hair and a lean muscled figure. But what stood out to her was the huge scar that reached into his hairline through his eye and extended down his jaw.

She nodded not able to speak. He held out his hand for her, and she cringed. She always refused to take anyone's hand, but she couldn't refuse him, not her Alpha. Hesitantly she took it, his fingers encircled her clawed talons and he pulled her away from the crowd to be outside... alone.

I’m so dead! Her mind and heart were racing. Why did he want her alone? It had to do with this afternoon right?

Outside in the cool air now away from the noise and hassle of the party inside. The Alpha stared at the clawed hand in his own as he appeared to try to find the words to say.

“I have something for you. I should have given this to you a long time ago, by rights it’s yours.” He finally managed. Letting her hand go he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

“It’s tradition for these to be passed down to next of kin, he may not have had children of his own, but he considered you his daughter. So, I want you to have this.” He explained as he handed her the trinket.

Taking the box, she opened it to find a wooden carved insignia with Cedric’s name inscribed on it. The pack had one made for each pack member that joined them, they displayed them on the walls of one of the halls. When a pack member died it was taken down and given to the family as a memento.

“Why?” she asked feeling her heart clench as tears began to well. All other reason and fear she was feeling, melted away lost in the moment. The gesture meant the world to her, but his death still hurt.

“My blood is your blood, as Cedric would say. He was like a brother to me and I loved him dearly.” He answered her honestly and she could hear the emotion in his voice. He meant it, every word.

She couldn’t hold back the tears and they began to flow like a stream down her face.

“I’ve wanted to give it to you for a while now, I just couldn’t find the right time. I want you to know no matter what, you are a part of this pack, this family, forever.” His words made every fibre in her being stand on end.

She looked up at him, her hands shaking while holding the box. She forgot about her appearance entirely as he cupped her face with his hands. Whipping away her tears with his thumb, his touch left an odd sensation on her skin. She felt beautiful and cared for under his sweet caress. She believed him.

“And if you’d let me, I’d like to try to help you. You are my pack; your pain is my pain.” He added softly.

She caught her image reflecting in his eyes, snapping her back to reality. She turned her head away pulling her face from his hands and hiding her hideous side again. She turned her back to him and pulled the hood back over her scarf-covered face. At what point had he removed it, and why had she let him?

This man was dangerous, she could feel herself wanting more from him. But only wanted to help her out of pity... out of duty. She felt one of his hands touch her shoulder, ever so slightly pulling her closer and back toward him. She wasn’t sure how to react, or if she should run away.

“Don’t shy away from it, it’s not permanent, we will find a way to fix it.” He spoke with a soft tone.

But what made her uneasy was that he was so close. She could feel his breath on her ear, it was giving her chills. And yet she didn't want that moment to end.

“I don’t know how she won’t talk to me, she doesn’t even acknowledge that she’s there anymore.” Her voice was sad and held a glint of longing.

She felt his other hand encircle her waist as his other arm slid around her shoulders. He embraced her from behind. It felt warm and comforting, her head hung as she allowed the tears to flow. She needed this, someone to show her they cared. But she still felt she wasn't worth it.

“We’ll figure it out, I promise you. You need only want to.” His words wrapped warmth around her very soul. She hadn't felt this warmth in so long. She'd lost the one person she'd cared about and in turn, her will to live.

They heard the door open behind them, he straightened up letting her go. The move wasn’t urgent or defensive, just him returning to his normal Alpha self, more rigid and professional.

She didn’t take any offence, but the warmth was replaced with a chilling cold. She wanted his hands on her again, how greedy of her, she thought. After all, he didn't belong to her.

“You’ll start training with me from tomorrow, no more cleaning up after others for a while, the other wolves are getting slack.” He stated. “Your duties need only be the same as the others.”

She blinked up at him, dumbfounded. Train with the Alpha? That’s insane!

“I've been away from the pack for too long, or we would have started earlier. Forgive me for that."

She shook her head, "No, no. You have nothing to be forgiven." She was in shock.

"Meet me where we were earlier today, at first light.” Once he’d finished speaking his eyes drifted to the woman behind them. His eyes seemed to darken slightly as his brows creased almost like he was annoyed by the interruption.

This woman was next to speak. “You’ve hogged the birthday girl for far too long, don’t you think Alpha? This party is after all, for her.” She pranced her way to stand between Sirena and him.

The she-wolf flicked her hair over her shoulder and it slapped Sirena in the face. Sirena could see his eye twitch as a displeasing growl left his lips. She didn’t think that he liked the display, but he didn’t say or do anything either. The woman giggled to herself, playfully running her manicured fingers down the alpha’s shirt.

Oh... so this is what Gail had meant, poor Alpha, she thought. He’d have to choose a Luna one day, so all the she-wolves were pinning for him, it made sense now.

Not everyone had the chance to find their destined mate and for an Alpha taking a Luna who was good for the pack but wasn't your mate was quite common.

Sirena shrugged the interruption off and started to head back inside. Surprised, she felt a hand grasp hers and was jerked to a sudden stop.

“Tomorrow?” He had sidestepped the woman basically ignoring her and reached for her. The pissed-off expression on the blonde’s face made her nervous. His actions struck Sirena as odd but she blew it off as a pack thing, maybe he felt like he needed to help her for Cedric’s sake. She nodded and lightly pulled her hand from his, before disappearing inside.

She didn’t stay at the party for long, instead, she took the first chance she could in order to retire to her room. Everyone else danced the night away, having fun for her, without her, not even realizing she was absent.

She sat on the floor of her room with the wooden insignia she had been given and let the tears flow. She missed Cedric, his banter, his silliness... just him being there. She hunched over herself hugging the wooden plague to her chest, she let out all the bottled-up emotions.

The one person she had wanted to spend today with, if she had a choice, was Cedric and he was dead. On top of that she believed it was her fault. She let all the pain out, finally saying goodbye to the man who had been like a father to her. Facing the fact that he was truly gone, and her mangled appearance her punishment.