The Admiral

Arden Lexington

James is cocky. It’s a turn-on, but only if he shoots true, otherwise he’ll just look arrogant cock.

I watch from amongst the crew as he prepares to take the shot. Through my spyglass, I see Jack has attached all four aces from a deck of cards to the railing of the quarter-deck.

With him focused on aiming I freely admire James. His posture is exactly where it needs to be for a shot like this, his blonde hair flutters in the wind across his brow, and I find myself biting my lip when I see him slowly exhale right before taking a shot. He pulls back the lever, takes aim, and fires again. He takes four shots in total, one for each card.

I raise my spyglass to check the cards, but Adam and Jack are too busy jumping around and screaming at what they see, and they grab them before I can see anything for myself. They start running the length of the ship.

Jack holds up the cards; all four have a bullet hole through them and the crew erupts into cheers and applause.

I watch as James simply takes one of the cards from Jack and pockets it before handing the rifle back to my very proud-looking Master of Arms, “My compliments to you Master, she’s a perfect shot.”

He nods, “I know.”

Charlotte approaches James, her smile bigger than ever. This little display has just made him even more appealing to every woman on this ship, including me.

After Wyatt's betrayal, I could never consider putting my life in the hands of another man again, or woman for that matter. I can only truly rely on myself. The trust I’ve put in myself has gotten me this far, and I won’t stop until I send every scumbag pirate I meet down to Davey Jones’ Locker. It might not bring my parents back, but it might be enough to fill the void they left behind.

That’s what I’m supposed to do, right? Should I fill the void with an alternative? Alcohol? Hatred? Sex? Should I try to heal it? How does one heal the soul? With a menagerie of crew on my ships I’ve seen all the different ways my men and women prey. Which God should I pray to first? All questions I’ll probably never find answers to, so I’ve stopped asking.

As my mind is consumed by clouds from my past, I don’t even notice James approaching me until it’s too late. I keep my eyes glued to the deck as I try to walk past him, but he seems to have other ideas.

James holds out his arm across my waist to stop me and I find myself gazing up into those stormy grey eyes I’ve fantasized about for so many years.

Even after all these years, he has the power to render me silent just by being in such close proximity. I’m damaged, broken, and I want him, but I am not worthy, not of someone like James. He is like the sun, warm, and beautiful, and everyone is drawn towards him. I am a void. I attract only death and suffering; it’s my job to be ruthless, and I take pleasure in exacting my revenge.

Just as I’m about to move to keep walking he slips the playing card he took from Jack earlier into my hand. I look down at it to see it’s the ace of hearts he shot.

“You shot me through the heart all those years ago," he says quietly. I look up to look at his vulnerable face; he’s hiding nothing from me, he’s not even trying. Meanwhile, I’m here wearing a disguise to hide myself from him, “It still belongs to you, Arden.”

“Master Morgan-” I start.

“James,” he corrects me and I feel his large warm hand wrap around mine.

“Master Morgan,” I insist coldly, “I believe you have confused me with someone else.”

I withdraw my hand from his and brush past him, heading straight towards Giddeon who was watching the entire time with a cold disapproval. A tense Giddeon escorts me all the way to the crew’s quarters without a word. As I reach for the door I hesitate.

Giddeon leans against the wall and watches me, “Who is that man to you?”

“Giddeon...” I turn to face him, but before I can get another word out, he slowly drifts closer and kisses me. For whatever reason, I let him. The way Giddeon’s hand caresses my cheek and weaves onto my neck is surprisingly tender. I’ve seen this man in battle, and although he might be beautiful, he’s a savage, he never hesitates and takes no mercy. His brutality is why I promoted him.

What surprises me more is that I kiss him back. All that pent-up sexual tension built up by James gets wrongly spilled into the wrong man. I pull my lips away and place my hands on his chest to keep him at bay. I look into Giddeon’s eyes and for a moment question if I really want to push this man away, “I’m sorry Giddeon, I should not have allowed that to happen.”

Giddeon doesn’t move. I can see his mind working furiously behind those emerald eyes. There’s a flicker of hurt but he’s quick to hide it. “You know...we could be great together,” Giddeon’s voice is deep and raw, stripped of any barriers revealing his vulnerability.

“Oh, I know. I can’t and won’t deny that,” I look away and take a breath, searching for the words that might keep this man away from me in that way, without isolating him as my Officer.

“Is it that Morgan fellow? He’s who you want?”

“I want to be honest with you Giddeon, I respect you too much to weave lies around your eyes. I’ve never lain with a man, and I don’t think I ever will.”

Giddeon’s brows furrow and he seems to move back quite abruptly at my remark, “I hope you don’t think that’s all I want from you Arden.”

“No, I know Giddeon. It’s just not in the cards for me, not in this lifetime.”

“Your predecessor took a wife, and had children, why can’t you have the same?”

“I don’t have anything of value to offer anyone. I’m too broken to love myself let alone love anyone you as you would deserve, and you dear Giddeon, are so worthy of love.” Giddeon goes to protest, I can see he wants to fight for this, but it’s never going to happen. “Please, Giddeon. I don’t deserve your affection, all I have within me is wrath, fueled by an all-consuming fury, it’s impossible for me to be half of a whole.”

A whistle rings out from above, “Pirates!”

The crew springs into action as everyone goes to man their station.

Giddeon chuckles, “The way your face just changed Arden, it’s beyond ridiculous. You’re the only woman I could ever imagine who would prefer to fight pirates than have conversations like this.”

“It’s the only thing I’m good at,” I shrug.

“Respectfully, that’s bullshit, and you know it. You’re selling yourself short, and you are capable of love, but it seems I’m not the one that will bring that out in you. I hope Master Morgan has better luck, because you dear Arden are also worthy of love.”

With that, Giddeon leaves to go lead our men into action, but since we’re in Ghost Protocol mode I have to stay hidden.

Rarely does The Admiral ever take part in battle, something I wish I had known before taking the position. I do enjoy a good scrap.