SWNOVELS Terms and Conditions: Chapter 41
Did I expect Declan to attack me like he did after I went out of my way to drop everything and help him when he asked? No, but damn did the surprise hurt almost as much as the things he said about me.
Your job description says you’re supposed to alleviate problems, not cause them.
My throat closes up. How dare he talk about me and my job description like that. I can’t believe I spent three years of my life fixing his problems whenever they arose, only for him to cut me down to nothing the moment I messed up.
If you even did mess up.
Regardless if I did, Declan should have never spoken to me like that. He used my insecurities against me until I was left standing before him, feeling just as broken as ever before. I’ve been on the receiving end of his verbal lashings before but never like this. This one felt personal in a way I never want to experience again.
You can only get angry at yourself. You’re the one who let him in to begin with.
What was it that Declan used to always tell me?
Oh, right.
Learn to use your words as weapons because they can be stronger than any fist.
I feel like a fool for giving him the perfect ammunition to use against me. A tear slips free, and I swipe it away with the sleeve of my shirt.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity during the bus ride back to the hotel, I call the pilot and ask him to prepare the private jet for takeoff. I might be a failure, but I’m still a Kane, so Declan can fly commercial for all I care if he wants to get back to Chicago within the next day. I’m not staying in Dreamland for another hour after the way he spoke to me. The park feels too small for both of us right now, and I’d rather get the hell out of here. At least that way I can wrap my mind around everything he said without anyone trying to sabotage me, talk down to me, or make me cry. Knowing my husband, he might do all three if I stick around.
Running is what I’m good at. Staying and dealing with problems that hurt like a bitch on the other hand? Hard freaking pass.
Screw him and screw his stupid deal. I deserve more than him hurting me to save his own face, especially after all the sacrifices I made for him.
The bus drops us off at the hotel. I don’t know how long I have until Declan gets back to the room, so my panic forces me into action mode. If I’m lucky, Mr. Yakura will keep Declan and his father discussing contracts for hours. Maybe even days.
Except the thought doesn’t make me happy like I would expect. Rather, it drives me to a fresh round of tears as I consider Declan choosing to secure the deal over coming after me. After everything he said, one would think he would want to fix things right away if they really mattered to him.
I’m so screwed up in the head about everything that I can’t even tell whether it’s selfish or not to wish for something like that.
I shake my sadness off and get to packing. The whole suitcase looks close to bulging but somehow my belongings stay put.
I throw my hotel key on the nightstand, write a quick note, and leave the room without looking back. Turns out my worries about Declan coming back to get me were misplaced since he never bothered to show up. Instead of feeling relieved, I’m hit with another wave of despair.
Of course he didn’t show up. Declan’s priorities will always align with the company no matter the cost. He has been trained since a young age to work like that, and I was willing to be second best because his love is worth it.
Was. His love was worth it. Not anymore though. I could live without feeling like he took my heart and shattered it into a million pieces.
You’re nothing but a distraction that I don’t have time for right now.
He did apologize right after.
Yeah, so did my father after saying the ugliest things to my mom. I learned from her mistakes and don’t plan on falling into the same trap.
You need to get out of here.
I hope Declan gets the deal. Not because I’m petty or mad, but because I want it to be worth everything he lost to get it—the option of earning my love included.
The concierge desk calls me a cab to take me to the private airport. By the time I get there, the cabin door is open and the plane is ready for takeoff. I get out of the cab and stare at the plane. I’m hit with an ounce of doubt, wondering if I should turn around and go back to the hotel.
Are you really going to leave him? What if he needs you?
His voice from earlier comes back with a vengeance.
Every team has a leader, and it’s not you.
I shake my head, clearing any lingering doubts.
You’re not going back. Not after he spoke to you like that.
I roll my shoulders back, climb up the stairs to the jet, and take the seat across the aisle from our usual spot. The staff on the plane is limited to a single flight attendant who offers me drinks and snacks. My stomach churns at the idea of eating anything at the moment, so I decline.
Somehow, I hold myself together during the entirety of the flight. Harrison picks me up at the airport, and he is kind enough not to ask me where Declan is. I’m not sure I could handle his question without crying. The way he looks at me makes me wonder if he knows something happened, but he stays quiet as he helps me with my luggage. He drops me off at Cal’s place before taking off.
Up until this point, I’ve been numb and strictly on survival mode. Sure, I shed a couple of tears, but I didn’t truly allow myself to consider everything Declan said until I knock on Cal’s door.
He opens the door. “Hey. What are you doing back here so soon?”
Tears leak from my eyes before I have a chance to blink them away.
“Oh shit.” He pulls me into his place and shuts the door.
His arms wrap around me, holding me up so my legs don’t give out. My tears turn into full-body sobs. He listens to me while I recount everything that happened today, with him only interrupting to ask a couple of questions.
He doesn’t speak until I stop. “He’s an idiot for telling you all that crap. The only thing that was shitty about today was his attitude.”
I pull away and wince at the tear-stained spot on his shirt. “He said I failed.”
“He failed you the moment he lost control like that. No one should talk to you like that, least of all him.”
I sniffle. “He was so mad at me.”
“I don’t give a fuck how he felt. It doesn’t make any of it okay.”
My head hangs. “I made a mistake.”
Cal grabs my hand and drags me toward the couch. He disappears before returning with a tissue box, some headache medicine, and a glass of water.
“Thank you.” I look up at him with a wobbly smile.
His frown deepens as he assesses my face. “It’s the least I can do seeing as I’m the one that encouraged him to chase after you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I knew he didn’t deserve you.”
I wince, remembering the moment Declan said the same thing. “I—”
“Don’t make excuses for him. The things he said are unacceptable, especially after everything you shared with him.”
I take a deep breath. “Do you mind if I stay here tonight?”
“Guest room is all yours for as long as you want it.”
I sigh. “I can’t hide out here forever.”
“You can do whatever you want. Declan isn’t your keeper.”
“I know but I need to be mature about this.”
“Oh, like he’s one to talk about maturity right now.”
“We’re married. One fight isn’t going to change that.”
He lets out a deep exhale. “No, but it might change the way you approach your marriage.”
“I know.” I twist my hands on my lap.
He drops onto the couch next to me. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“Is it? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel okay. He didn’t even come after me after everything he said. He just let me walk away like I didn’t mean anything to him, all because a deal is more important than me.” A loan tear slides down my face before landing on my lap.
“He fucked up. There’s no easy way to put it.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“You don’t need to do anything. He’s the one who messed up, not the other way around. I know you’re used to always picking up after his messes, but sometimes you can’t fix everything for him.”
My throat bobs. “What if he doesn’t fix it?”
“Then he was never worthy of you in the first place.”