Chapter 81
Kapri's P.O.V.
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I woke up to someone snoring in my ear. At first I was confused. For many reasons.
One, I haven't been able to sleep much at all since Mom told me the truth. I'm lucky to fall asleep at all. So the simple fact that I was asleep struck me as odd. How had I even been able to fall asleep in the first place? Two, who is snoring so close to me that they woke me up?
These were my two biggest concerns. However, my body feels like it weighs 500 tons. I can't move at all. I'm not even sure I can open my eyes.
Am I so tired that I feel this heavy? Is it because I scrubbed myself raw-
My eyes popped open as everything came back to me. I was in the bathroom trying to scrub the dirty off of me. Maverick stormed in yelling at me. He forced me to stop, and then he..
I looked down at my bandaged arms.
Maverick took care of me. Like he always does.
Tears filled my eyes. I looked up to see that I was still in Maverick's arms. He's still sitting up against my headboard, sleeping and snoring away. That can't be comfortable.
Instead of waking Maverick up, I snuggled into him more. He's the first person that I've let touch me since I found out the truth.. The first person I've looked in the eyes. Not that much of that I had a choice in, but.. It did feel good.
I sobbed into Maverick as he just.. talked. Maverick just ran his mouth like usual. He reminded me of exactly who I am. I felt good enough that I passed right out.
Maverick's words made me feel better, but.. I still don't feel.. great. I still feel broken, and.. uneasy. But I have to admit that.. I don't feel so dirty. Maybe a bit uncomfortable in my skin, but.. Maverick was right.
I have tried so hard to be invisible lately. It was working in my favor. My friends and Mom were worried, but they let me be for the most part. I was alone in the darkness. Where I thought I belonged.
But Maverick saw me. He burst into my life yet again, and forced me to stand back up. Maverick shattered all of that darkness, and reminded me that I have people who care about me, who will love me always.
I'm still not okay, and I'm not sure when I will be, but.. For the first time since all of this started.. I feel like.. I might be okay. If even a jerk like Maverick could say all of that about me.. Care about me.. Then maybe I'm not all that bad. I snuggled into Maverick more as tears filled my eyes.
I missed him so much. He still smells the same. I hate it all. This a.sshole broke my heart. Why is he the one to bring me the most comfort now?
I allowed myself a few minutes of snuggling Maverick before I finally tried to move again. My entire body aches still, but at least I can move now. I carefully got off of Maverick's lap. I just moved to sit on the bed next to him, when he jolted awake. Maverick's eyes flew open. His hand shot out to grab my arm. I winced, but didn't move.
"Where are you going?" He rushed out.
I raised a brow at him.
"I have to pee." I said.
"I'll come with you." He said as he let me go.
"What? The bathroom is right there." I said with a frown.
Maverick rubbed his face, and stretched out his back.
"I didn't have time to throw that scrub brush away," he stated. "So, I don't give a fu.ck how far away it is. I'm coming with you."
My heart fluttered, but I still frowned at him.
"I need space, Maverick." I complained.
Maverick looked me in my eyes. I didn't look away. I didn't even have the urge to. I missed his honey brown eyes.
"No." He stated.
"No?" I asked.
"You heard me. No. I'm done giving you space. At least until I know you're okay. So, until then, consider me your personal body guard." He said.
I scowled at him.
"Why do you suddenly care now? Huh? I don't need your pity." I spat as I stood up.
I wish I wouldn't have so fast though, because I wobbled, and nearly fell on my a.ss. Maverick was quick to steady me. I refused to look up at his smug face.
"I'm not pitying you, Kapri. I'm worried about you. I've been worried about you. And I've always cared," he said.
This all confuses me more. I thought Maverick didn't care. It's been months since we've had a real conversation. "Why are you doing this?" I asked softly.
"I told you. I'm worried." He replied as he helped me to the bathroom.
"Why though? Why are you suddenly... caring about me again?" I asked.
Maverick paused in the doorway of the bathroom.
"I know I've really been fu.cking up Kapri. One day I want to explain everything to you, but.. I just want you to focus on getting better. Getting through this." He told me.
I turned to face him, and leaned against the counter.
"How am I supposed to do that if I'm constantly worried you're going to disappear again?" I asked him.
Yes, I am considering jumping right back into everything with Maverick. I miss him. I miss him so much I feel like I could die right now. Maverick is familiar, and warm, and safe. He makes me feel.. better. And I desperately need that. Which means that I desperately need Maverick.
What is going to happen if he tells me he doesn't love me back again? What if after I'm better he leaves me? Why do I even care at this point?
Maverick bent down to pick up the scrub brush I used to clean myself.
"I don't know how to ease your mind, Kap, but.. You should just focus on working through this. We can talk about us after. All I can really say is.." Maverick took a deep breath, and looked me in the eyes. "I will never leave you again. Nothing and no one in this world is ever going to keep me from you. Not you. Not our parents being married. Nothing. I am not leaving your side. Not even if you beg me to. I can't live without you, Kapri."
Maverick's words shocked me. All I could do was stare at him in stunned silence.
"I'm going to go get you some water. I will be right back so don't even think about doing anything stupid." He said warningly.
"Okay." I replied softly.
Maverick leaned forward to kiss my forehead. After he was gone, I sat on the toilet to do my business. Maverick's words kept replaying in my head.
What did he mean by all of that? It sounded like someone made Maverick break up with me. Is that what happened? Who would do that?
It's clear that Maverick isn't going to tell me anything. At least not right now. He's too worried about my mental state to have a conversation like that with me.
So, I can either wait until Maverick is ready. Which is probably the more reasonable answer. Maverick is right, I need to focus on.. getting through all of this sh,it, and not our.. relationship.
Or, I can just ask around, and do some digging. It's not like Maverick wouldn't if things were the other way around. He won't tell me anything, and I'm impatient.
I washed my hands, and slowly walked back to my bed. I had just sat down when Maverick rushed back into my room. His eyes instantly snapping to the bathroom. I almost laughed at how worried he looked when his eyes finally landed on me. Maverick blew out a breath, and handed me a bottle of water.
"How are your arms and legs feeling?" He asked.
If I tell him I'm in pain, what will he do?
"A little painful, but not bad," I said.
Maverick knelt in front of me without another word. He grabbed my right leg, and started to unwrap the bandages. I watched Maverick as he inspected my skin.
"Do you even know what you're doing?" I asked.
"No, but it looks better than it did earlier. If it still hurts in the morning, I'll take you to a doctor. We don't have to tell your mom," he said.
"I think I'll be fine." I told him.
I lay back in my bed. Maverick sat up, and moved my blankets to cover me. He kissed my head, and for a brief moment, I was scared he was going to leave me alone.
It shouldn't scare me at all. Yesterday, I was begging for everyone to just leave me alone. Besides, Maverick has been lying to me. About something.
Still.. I don't want to be alone.
I was just about to ask him to stay with me, but I didn't have to. Maverick stripped his shirt over his head, and shook off his jeans. Then he got under the covers with me, and pulled me into his chest.
I stayed stiff for a moment.
Is this really okay? Am I going to wake up alone? Will this be the last time that I sleep next to Maverick?
"Go to sleep nerd. I know you're tired. You need rest." Maverick said.
Slowly, I melted against his warmth. Something weird is going on here. And I'm going to figure it out. Soon, right now, I just want to sleep.