Tattered (Lark Cove Book 1)

My entire body hummed as Logan pressed his hips closer. The hardness behind his jeans sent a wave of scorching heat to my core. I hadn’t been kissed in a really, really long time.

Why was this stupid? I couldn’t think of a reason. All of the worries and concerns I’d had in the kitchen after he’d stormed out were a hazy blur at the back of my mind. They vanished as my eyelids drifted shut, waiting for the soft brush of his lips.

The heat from his breath feathered across my cheek. He was so close I was dizzy. I gripped his shirt tighter, waiting for his mouth. He was almost—

“Wait.”

No! My stupid, tiny, infuriating brain. I should have had another shot or two. Maybe then, my good judgment wouldn’t have been able to reengage at the last second and send that awful word through my mouth.

I opened my eyes to see Logan had moved back, just an inch. Enough that I could make out the disappointment on his face.

“Sorry.” My shoulders sagged. “I want you to kiss me.”

“But?”

“But,” I dropped my hands from his shirt, “it will only complicate things even more.”

There were too many hurdles between us. Lifestyle. Geography. Responsibilities. Even drunk on vodka and Logan’s scent, the obstacles were just too big to ignore.

He grumbled under his breath and backed away, resuming his place against the cabinets. “Are you always this logical when you’ve been drinking?”

I smiled, glad he wasn’t angry. “No. Only when it comes to Charlie. She’s all that matters.”

“As disappointed as I am, she’s a lucky girl to have such a good mom.”

My heart swelled. Since the moment I’d held the positive pregnancy test in my hand, all I’d wanted was the best for my baby. I was proud to admit that despite having no guidance from my own biological mother, I was a good mom. Still, it meant the world that Logan thought so too.

He took a long breath and ran a hand through his hair. “I think I’d better go.”

“I’ll text you the details for the soccer game.”

“Thanks. Good night.” With a wave, he strode out of my workshop and into the night.

I counted to twenty, then rushed to the door, peeking around the side to see him walking down the street.

My house was only five blocks from the motel, three from the bar. I’d noticed earlier that he hadn’t driven over, so as he walked down the sidewalk, I took a long look at him from behind.

No woman in the world would look at Logan and not think he was gorgeous. Add to that his charisma, and he was mouthwatering.

And he’d wanted to kiss me.

Six years ago, I hadn’t hesitated a second when he’d asked me to spend the night with him. I’d let him whisk me away to his hotel suite for the best sex of my life.

But the Thea from six years ago was still learning. She hadn’t given birth to a little girl who would become her entire life.

Charlie had given me unconditional love and a real family, two things I’d craved my entire life. But the most important thing she’d given me was confidence. Because of her, I demanded more from life and more than I’d been given as a child.

I demanded more, so I could give it to her.

The Thea from six years ago would have let Logan kiss her senseless tonight. She would have taken that kiss and locked it away, cherishing the memory when she was alone.

Present-day Thea wanted more than a memory. She wanted a man who would kiss her every morning. A man who would kiss her before falling asleep every night. She needed a man who would share in the life she’d worked hard to build in Lark Cove.

The man disappearing around the block—the one who lived a world away—wasn’t him.

I woke up the next morning with a hangover. After Logan had left my workshop, I’d gone down to the dock to watch the sunset. I’d stupidly taken my vodka along.

I’d powered through the headache and nausea, getting Charlie ready for her day at camp with Hazel. With a kiss good-bye, I’d sent her on her way, then walked to work.

On days like this, working in a bar was a curse. I gagged at the smell of stale beer and the sight of liquor bottles made my stomach roll. How did Jackson come here with a smile on his face after a long night of drinking? I needed to learn his tricks if I was going to keep having vodka-soaked conversations with Logan.

I spent the morning in my office, doing paperwork and paying bills. I slugged down coffee and aspirin, willing my head to stop pounding. When we opened at eleven, I went out to the bar, where I spent the first hour breathing through my mouth so I wouldn’t puke.

Finally, around three o’clock, after the lunch crowd had left me to an empty room and the regulars had yet to come in for the evening, I braved some food and a Coke. By the time Wayne and Ronny came in for their early evening beer, I was feeling human again.

Barely.

“Hey, guys.” I set down napkins in front of them both. “Same as usual?”

“Yep,” Wayne answered for them both.

“Are you feeling okay, Thea?” Ronny asked.

“No,” I confessed with a smile, then went to the taps to pour them each a red beer. “Too much vodka last night.”

Wayne chuckled. “That’ll do it.”

“Can I get you some aspirin?” Ronny asked.

“I’m okay.” I winked at him. “Thanks, though.”

Wayne and Ronny were as opposite as they came, other than both being single. Wayne was in his fifties, had been divorced for years and worked at the school doing maintenance. Anything and everything you might want to know about his life, he’d share without hesitation.

Ronny was closer to my age, and though he wasn’t as chatty as Wayne, he was just as much of a sweetheart. He worked from home, so he came into the bar often to socialize. Mostly he listened, but on the dead nights, he and Wayne would talk to me about nothing and everything until I closed down the bar. Ronny always made sure I was okay.

“Here you go, guys.” I set down their beers. “Holler if you need anything.” I smiled and turned to leave but stopped to look over my shoulder. “I take that back. Don’t holler. My headache can’t take yelling. Maybe just wave me over silently.”

They each laughed, sipping their drinks as the back door opened and Jackson walked in, ready to take over for the night.

“You look like shit,” he teased. “Rough night?”

“Don’t make fun of me.” I whipped his side with my bar rag. “I’m still not sure I’m going to live.”

“If you were going to tie one on last night, you could have at least come in here and kept me company.”

“Was it slow?” I’d been so miserable this morning, every task had taken me twice as long, so I hadn’t finished reconciling the deposits from last night.

“Yeah. I had a couple of folks come in for a few hours but by eleven it was dead, so I closed down early.”

“Maybe tonight will be busier.”

“Hopefully.” He opened the dishwasher and let the steam escape. “Are you coming in after Charlie’s game?”

“Yeah.” It was our tradition to have pizza after soccer. “I invited Logan to come too.”

Jackson slammed the dishwasher closed and crossed his arms over his chest. “You need to be careful. I don’t trust that guy.”

I rolled my eyes. “You don’t trust anyone.”

“And neither should you.”

“Well, I don’t really have a choice this time, do I? Charlie deserves a chance to get to know her father. Logan is asking for some time with her, so I’m letting him have it.”

“I hope that’s all you’re letting him have,” he muttered.

“What are you talking about?”

“He might want to spend time with Charlie, but he’s also here to get laid. I didn’t miss the way he looked at you.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Logan probably had ample opportunities for sex in New York. He might even have a girlfriend. Goddamn it. What if he had a girlfriend? I’d almost kissed him last night.

My head started pounding again. I’d been so focused on sharing details about my life and Charlie’s that I hadn’t bothered to ask Logan about his.

“Whatever.” Jackson went back to the dishwasher. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Instead of being a prick, you could be supportive. You know, act like my best friend? And it would help Charlie too if you didn’t bust his ass when we come in here tonight.”

Jackson frowned as he lifted out the warm pint glasses. “Tell you what. For Charlie’s sake, I won’t say anything tonight. But I’m not going to be supportive until after he leaves and comes back.”

I had faith that Logan would come back and be true to his word, so I smiled. “Good.”

“For a year.”

My smile fell. “What?”

“He comes back here, makes it a point to visit Charlie throughout the entire year, then I’ll be supportive. And by visit Charlie, I mean he’s not coming here so he can fuck you. Has he made a move on you yet?”

I narrowed my eyes. “That’s none of your business.”

“That’s a yes.”

I didn’t have the time or energy to deal with this. “I’m leaving. We’ll see you later.”

Tossing my rag on the counter, I walked behind him and down the bar. But before I got to the hallway, I stopped and turned. “Charlie is having a hard time with this. I’m asking you, Uncle Jackson, not to be a dick to her dad.”

He shrugged. “We’ll see.”

“I’m warning you, if you make this hard for her, I’ll make sure that every one of those plastic out-of-staters you’re so fond of taking home after closing thinks you have crabs.”

We scowled at each other. He lasted a while, but just like always, he was the first to break.

His mouth stretched in a slow grin. “Fair enough.”

“Good.” I huffed and spun back around, grabbing my things from the office before stomping the three blocks home. I used my ten minutes of quiet time alone to sit on the couch and get my blood pressure back to normal.

I loved Jackson. He was my best friend and the closest thing I had to a brother. And I knew his heart was in the right place. He was just wary of strangers. We had that in common. Life had taught us that, more often than not, other people would let you down.

But having Charlie and leaving the city had softened me. I wasn’t constantly looking for ulterior motives with the people I met. Sure, I was on guard. But I wasn’t so untrusting that I never let anyone close.

Not Jackson.

He trusted two adults: me and Hazel. Everyone else was kept at arm’s length. He hooked up with out-of-staters so he could send them packing the next morning. He was “friends” with the regulars at the bar but didn’t see them outside of work.

Besides me and Hazel, his only other true emotional attachment was to my daughter. I had no doubt that if Logan broke Charlie’s heart, or mine, Jackson would dump his dead body in the middle of the lake.

Was I being too trusting with Logan? Over the last two days, I’d weighed every one of his words, assessing them for sincerity. They’d all seemed genuine. Were my feelings for him clouding my judgment? Had I gotten so caught up in his allure that I’d been blinded?

Okay, brain. You’re forgiven.

Last night, I’d tossed and turned in my drunken haze, pissed at my better judgment for not letting Logan kiss me. Now I was determined more than ever not to let that kiss happen. Logan had to prove that he was in this for Charlie, not for sex with me.

He had to prove that he was coming back for our daughter.

“Mommy!” Charlie called as she ran through the door with Hazel on her heels.

“Hi, honey.” I stood from the couch, giving her a hug. “How was your day?”

“Good.” She smiled over her shoulder at Hazel. “Gran made me and the other kids a huge tub of slime.”

“That sounds like fun.” And it explained why her normally dirt-covered cheeks were clean and her fingers were tinged with blue.

“It was something,” Hazel said and plopped into the spot on the couch I’d just vacated. “I’ve been cleaning up slime for an hour.”

“Are you coming to the game?”

She laughed. “Do I ever?”

“No.” I smiled. “But you know I always offer.”

Hazel had come to three of Charlie’s soccer games last year, then declared she was done. She said it was too hot and uncomfortable sitting on the grass. I’d offered to buy lawn chairs but she’d still refused.

Really, I think that after volunteering at the camp all day and playing with Charlie, Hazel was exhausted by the time she came home. Since Charlie didn’t seem to mind her missing the games, we left her to some peace and quiet.

“Come on, my love.” I took one of my daughter’s hands. “Let’s get ready for your soccer game.”

“Is Logan still coming?” she asked as we climbed the stairs.

“He’s going to meet us there.”

“I hope we win,” she whispered from behind me.

I smiled to myself. She never cared if they won, which meant she wanted to win with Logan there. This was progress. Like I’d told Logan, she just needed time.

Thirty minutes later, I parked my black Mazda hatchback on the street by Lark Cove School. Soccer games and all other town sports were played on the large lawn next to the children’s playground.

Charlie, wearing her shin guards and neon orange jersey, unbuckled from her seat and hurried out. She was waiting by the back hatch when I got there to collect her soccer ball. I handed it to her, then unloaded a patchwork picnic blanket Hazel had made from old jeans.

“Thea.” I spun around at Logan’s deep voice. He came right up to us and took the heavy blanket from my arms. With his free hand, he pushed his sunglasses up into his hair and bent to greet our daughter. “Hi, Charlie.”

“Hi, Logan,” she whispered, inspecting her cleats.

“Ready for the game?”

She nodded.

“Don’t forget your gloves.” I took them out of the back and handed them over.

“You play goalie?” Logan asked. “I was a goalie too when I played soccer in high school.”

Charlie’s head snapped up. “You were?”

“I wasn’t very good.” He exaggerated a grimace. “Maybe one of these days you can teach me some of your moves.”

She nodded. “Can I go, Mommy?”

“Yes. Have fun.”

Charlie spun around and raced for the soccer field to join her teammates, her ponytail whipping behind her as she ran.

“Hi.” Logan stood and leaned down to kiss my cheek. “How are you?”

Tingles broke out across my skin and my chest flushed red. “I’m good.”

Damn you, Jackson.

As much as I just wanted to enjoy the sensation of Logan’s lips on my cheek, I couldn’t. Thanks to Jackson’s speech earlier, I was doubting every one of Logan’s moves.

It didn’t make it easier that Logan looked unbelievable today. He was wearing a simple gray T-shirt, khaki cargo shorts and flip-flops. All fancy brands, I was sure. This was probably something he’d wear to a beach house in the Hamptons.

But even with the laid-back attire, he was still classy. It had nothing to do with his clothes. It was just him.

“Shall we?” Logan gestured for the grass and slid down his sunglasses.

I stepped onto the grass and we walked side by side at a leisurely pace. “Were you really bad at soccer?” I couldn’t imagine Logan being bad at anything, certainly not a sport. I knew from experience how athletic his body could be in the bedroom.

“No.” He looked over and grinned. “I was pretty good.”

“I figured.” I smiled back, leading Logan to my regular spot.

I waved at a few of the other parents who came into the bar on occasion. Behind my sunglasses, I glared at a couple of the moms who were practically drooling over Logan.

Tomorrow, I’d have an unusually large lunch crowd at the bar. People would come in who hadn’t been there in years just to pester me about the handsome stranger at the soccer game.

I didn’t care. If it bumped up my revenue, they could ask all they wanted. I would be staying quiet.

Jackson and I had always agreed that the Lark Cove Bar wouldn’t be a gossip mill. If our patrons wanted to talk about their neighbors, they sure could. But they wouldn’t get any information from us. We’d always been tight-lipped and we were staying that way.

Especially when it came to our personal lives.

“Here’s good.” I stopped Logan as we reached the sidelines at the far end of the field.

“You don’t want to sit closer to the middle?”

“No, Charlie will be on this end.” That, and I didn’t want to have to dodge questions tonight.

I took the blanket from his arm and laid it out on the grass. Then I kicked off my own shoes and took a seat, hoping that a little sunshine would fight off the lingering headache from my hangover.

“Is it normal?” Logan asked as he sank down onto the blanket at my side.

“Is what normal?”

“To feel this nervous for her.” He nodded to Charlie, who was taking her position in front of the net.

“Yes.” I smiled and leaned over to bump his shoulder with mine. “She really wants to win because you’re here.”

His jaw went slack. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Thank you.” His hand came to my knee as he looked back to the field. His thumb stroked my bare skin once before he lifted it away.

Sweat beaded at my temple. Logan’s touch had spread across my skin like fire, settling right in my center.

Damn it, Jackson.

His warning was ruining my evening.

I wanted to savor the tingles on my skin. I wanted to delight in the heat coming off Logan’s shoulder that was just an inch away from mine. But I couldn’t. Not until Logan had proved this wasn’t about me or sex. I needed to back away from Logan until he proved his loyalty to the little girl standing on the soccer field.

The little girl who was about to make her father proud.