Tattered (Lark Cove Book 1)

I had no idea what to do with myself. Since leaving Thea’s art studio last night, I’d been a nervous wreck. Sleep had come late and short. I’d finally gotten tired of staring at the ceiling so I’d gotten up to shower.

My face was shaved, my hair combed. I was dressed and ready for the day, but I had no idea where to go next. Now, instead of the ceiling, I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, unable to look away.

She’s going to think I’m uptight.

Maybe I should just wear a T-shirt.

Would that make me look more like a fun dad?

I should have asked Thea more questions. I didn’t feel prepared at all to meet Charlie.

Last night, Thea had calmed a lot of my nerves. Whether she knew it or not, the little things she’d told me about Charlie had put me at ease. There was no mistaking how much she adored our daughter. The glint in her eyes had made me excited about meeting Charlie.

But the moment I’d left that garden shed, without Thea to reassure me, self-doubt had crept back in. What if Charlie and I had nothing in common? What if she didn’t like me? What if I was a bad father?

By the time I’d walked the five blocks from Thea’s house to the motel, I’d all but convinced myself that Charlie was going to hate me.

In the last decade—hell, two—I couldn’t remember being this nervous. Not about starting college. Not about taking the bar exam. Not about a date.

I was terrified of meeting my five-year-old.

Talking to strangers came easy for me. I was good at mingling and making conversation. But I had no idea what to say to my own kid. I tore my eyes away from the mirror to look at my watch. I had until six o’clock tonight to figure it out.

Eleven hours didn’t seem like enough time.

A knock at the door forced me out of the bathroom. I crossed the small space and freed the safety chain, not bothering to check the peephole.

“Morning,” I told Nolan as I swung the door open.

“Morning.” He gave me a sideways glance. “You okay?”

I nodded but said, “No.”

“Here.” He handed me a coffee to-go cup. “I assumed you didn’t sleep much so I got you a double mocha from the little coffee hut down the road.”

“You’d be right about that,” I muttered and took a sip. “Thanks.”

He leaned against the doorjamb, studying me. His short, black hair matched the color of his suit jacket and slacks. “So? What happened last night? Did you talk to Thea?”

“Yeah.” I sighed, moving back into the room to sit on the edge of the bed. “I stopped by her house and we talked for a while. I’m meeting Charlie tonight.”

“That’s good. Isn’t it?”

“It is. If I’m only here a week, I can’t afford to waste any time. But . . .”

“You’re nervous.”

“Terrified.” I nodded. “I have no idea what to say. Do I introduce myself as her dad? Or just Logan? Should I shake her hand? Or give her a hug? And that’s just the first five seconds we meet. What do I do after that? If I fuck this up, she’ll remember it forever.”

Other dads had it lucky. If they messed up their introduction, it didn’t matter. Newborns didn’t remember anything.

“You need to relax, Logan. I’ve seen you charm entire rooms of people before. Just be yourself. If you go in there scared, she’s going to pick up on that. Kids can smell fear.”

Then she was going to smell me coming from a mile away.

This would all be so much easier if they lived in New York. I could see Charlie more often. I wouldn’t feel the immense pressure to make every day this week perfect.

I stood and walked to the dresser, grabbing my phone and sunglasses. “We’d better get going. Are you ready?”

Nolan let me change the subject. “Yes. I’m hoping I can get back in time to squeeze in a few hours at the office.”

He was flying back to New York today, and I envied him for it. Not that I didn’t want to stay to meet my daughter, but I was jealous that he knew exactly what his day would entail. He’d fly home, swing into the foundation office for a few hours, then go home to his wife and son.

“You should take the afternoon off. Go home and spend time with Kayla before Tyler gets out of school.”

He chuckled. “She wouldn’t even be home. Her calendar is packed tighter than mine these days.”

Kayla, Nolan’s wife, had invented an organic skincare line last year and it had recently been picked up by two high-end department stores. “Just promise me that when you quit to become her personal assistant, you’ll give me at least a year’s notice.”

“Don’t worry.” He shook his head. “I love my wife, but we’d kill each other if we worked together. I think I’ll stick with the foundation.”

“Good. We wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“A compliment before eight? Normally you like to give me a hard time in the mornings. You really are nervous, aren’t you? And it’s messing with your head.”

Yes, it was. I couldn’t think of a time when I’d wanted so badly for someone to like me. I had no confidence. Zero. And that feeling was more unsettling than the rest.

Nolan’s face softened. “You’ve got this, Logan.”

Do I? “Thanks. We’d better get you to the airport.”

I appreciated that he had faith in me. I just hoped that over the next eleven hours, I could find some for myself.

By five o’clock, I’d done everything I could think of to distract myself through the day. I’d driven Nolan to Kalispell and dropped him at the airport. I’d stopped at a small café for breakfast, then done something I avoided at all costs.

I’d gone to a mall and shopped.

The last time I’d shopped for myself had been in law school. Once I’d graduated, I’d delegated all shopping to my assistant. Whenever I needed clothes, I sent him an email and they were waiting in my closet when I came home. If they didn’t fit, a tailor came over to do alterations.

But shopping today had been a necessity. Not only did I need more clothes, I also needed to stay busy. The last thing I’d wanted to do was to go back to Lark Cove and sit alone in my motel room. So I’d shopped for a week’s worth of casual clothes that, hopefully, would make me seem more approachable and dad-ish.

With a week’s wardrobe in the back of my black rental SUV, I’d finally driven back to Lark Cove. I’d found a parking lot that overlooked the lake, pulled out my briefcase, set up a hotspot, and dived right into the best kind of distraction.

Work.

From the driver’s seat of the car, I spent a few hours arranging for my unplanned vacation. My team at the firm had marching orders to start drafting contracts for an upcoming merger. Both of my assistants knew to call me with urgent matters. And my parents had received a note informing them that I’d be missing the dinner we’d planned for Thursday.

But as I hit send on my last email, I realized that I’d fucked up. I’d worked too fast. Efficiency, something that had served me so well, had become enemy number one.

I still had an hour to kill.

So instead of sitting in my car, worrying for the next hour, I went to the one place in Lark Cove I hadn’t planned on frequenting again.

The Lark Cove Bar.

“Hi.” I nodded to Jackson as I slid into a stool at the bar.

The smile he had for the two customers he’d been talking to disappeared as he looked my way. “Thea’s not here. She’s at home with Charlie.”

“That’s fine. I just came in for a beer.”

“A beer?”

“Yeah.” Why was that surprising? For a bartender, you’d think Jackson would be used to people asking for beer. “Whatever you have on draft.”

He scowled and picked up a pint glass. But instead of going to the row of taps along the bar, he filled the glass with ice water.

“That’s a little lighter than I normally drink.”

Jackson didn’t think that was funny. The crease between his eyebrows deepened as he set down the water on the bar. “You’re meeting your kid for the first time tonight. Is walking into Thea’s house with alcohol on your breath really the first impression you want to make?”

Shit. I’d just wanted a beer to settle my nerves, but he had a good point. I didn’t want to smell like beer when I met my daughter.

“Jackson,” a raspy voice snapped from behind him. “Leave him alone.”

From the back hallway that disappeared behind the bar, an older woman emerged. Her hair hung past her shoulders in thick white and gray strands. Her skin was tanned and leathery. The wrinkles around her lips were more fissure than fine line. All of the things my mother despised about age, this woman wore with pride. She was beautiful, especially her hazel eyes, which were light and full of life.

“You work at the camp.” I’d seen her yesterday when Willa had toured us around the main lodge. She’d been working in the kitchen, but before Willa had been able to introduce us, she’d ducked out and disappeared.

“That’s right. I’m Hazel Rhodes.” She extended a hand over the bar and past Jackson, bumping him out of the way.

“Logan Kendrick.”

“You probably don’t remember, but I was in here yesterday with Charlie too. During the Great Frog Escape.”

“No, sorry. I was . . . distracted.”

“Understandable.” She grinned and patted Jackson on the arm. “This is Jackson Page. I’m guessing he hasn’t introduced himself.”

I held out a hand, but rather than shake it, Jackson crossed his arms over his chest.

He had an inch or two on my six-foot frame and probably twenty extra pounds of bulky muscle, but it took much more than brawn to intimidate me. Even on days like today, when the world was spinning the wrong way.

With my hand still extended between us, I met Jackson’s stare. A rush of familiar confidence sped through my veins as I refused to break first.

This. This is what I’d needed all day. A chance to put on the face I wore into intense negotiations. A chance to prove I couldn’t be bested. A chance to be the powerful man I was in the city. This guy didn’t know it, but he was doing me a huge favor by being an asshole.

I returned Jackson’s fiery glare with ice. To his credit, he lasted longer than most. But when he began shifting his weight from one foot to the other, I knew I’d won.

He dropped his arms and held out a meaty paw.

We shook, both of us squeezing harder than necessary, until he released me and I dropped my arm. The muscles in my shoulder burned a bit from holding out for so long.

“That was interesting.” Hazel smirked. “Jackson, do me a favor. Hook up that new keg of Miller Lite for me.”

“Sure.” He grunted and turned. But before he took a step, he spun back. With both hands placed on the bar, bracketing my water, he leaned forward to speak low. “I don’t care how much money you have. Hurt them and you’re dead.”

I nodded. “Understood.”

Jackson pushed off the bar, then disappeared down the hallway and out of sight.

“Don’t mind him,” Hazel said, propping a hip up against the bar. “He’s just protective of Thea.”

With one sentence, I was back on edge. Except now, my nerves were muddled with jealousy. A bitter taste spread across my tongue and I took a sip of water.

Thea had told me last night she wasn’t in a relationship, but did she have a history with Jackson? I loathed the idea of Thea with another man. My primal instincts reared up and I swallowed the urge to tell Jackson, I had her first.

But Thea wasn’t mine. I didn’t have a claim over her. Still, I liked her.

A lot.

Being with her all those years ago had been uncomplicated and freeing. Visiting with her last night in that old shed had brought it all back.

I liked how she didn’t expect anything from me. She didn’t have a hidden agenda. I liked how she quirked her eyebrow when she asked questions.

I liked that, above all else, she was a good mother. She thought about our child first and foremost.

Something I needed to do too, instead of worrying about Jackson and Thea. With another sip of water, I swallowed down my jealousy. It would likely surface again—Jackson wasn’t the only one possessive of Thea—but not today.

“I’m not here to hurt Thea or Charlie,” I told Hazel.

“I know that,” she said, getting her own glass of water. “Like I said. Don’t mind Jackson. We’re all just looking out for Thea.”

My spine stiffened. What had happened in Thea’s life that she had such fierce protectors? Was it her childhood? Or a man? Could she, or my daughter, be in danger?

“Is there something I should know? She’s not in trouble, is she?” Because whatever the problem, I’d make it disappear.

“No.” Hazel shook her head. “She’s not in trouble. But Thea has spent her whole life fighting. Don’t make her fight you.”

“Why would she need to fight me?”

She sipped her water. “For Charlie.”

“Ah. I see.” Everyone here was worried I would start a custody battle. “I won’t take Charlie from Thea. I told her the same last night.”

“Good.” Hazel nodded. “Don’t get me wrong. If you do want a fight, my money is on Thea. You might have a bigger bank account, but that woman is fierce. She’ll wipe the floor with you if it’s for Charlie. But she’s fought enough.”

She’s fought enough? What did that mean? My concern for Thea grew with every one of Hazel’s vague hints. A litany of questions ran through my mind, but they would go unanswered. There would be no prying information from Hazel Rhodes. She might be here, talking to me, but her loyalties were clear.

If I wanted to learn about Thea’s past, I wouldn’t get those secrets from Hazel.

“Who are you, exactly?”

She laughed, her hoarse bark ringing through the air. “I’m Charlie’s gran. And the closest thing to a mother Thea’s ever had.”

“So you look out for Thea?”

“And Charlie.”

Charlie.

“What’s she like? Charlie?”

“She’s a sparkle.” Hazel’s face softened. “Her smile is the best part of my day. You’ll see.” She glanced over her shoulder to the clock on the wall. “Want something stronger before you head over?”

I shook my head. “No, thank you.”

“Smart man.”

Jackson came back into the room at that moment and shot me another glare before resuming his conversation with the customers at the other end of the bar. When I turned back to Hazel, she was walking around the end of the bar to sit by my side.

“I think you should post more photos on your Facebook page,” Hazel announced as the legs of her stool scraped on the floor.

“Excuse me?”

“Your Facebook page.” She set down a paper boat of peanuts between us. “You don’t have many photos.”

I blinked at her. Where was she going with this? “I don’t manage that page. My assistant does.”

“Hmm.” She cracked a peanut shell and tossed it on the floor. “Tell your assistant that people like to see pictures.”

I chuckled, amused that in the last twenty-four hours, Hazel had clearly spent some time looking me up. “I’ll send him a note.”

Her peanut cracking continued, though she hadn’t actually eaten a nut yet. “Before you go over to Thea’s, I think I’d better come clean.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve been—what do they call it?—cyber stalking you.”

I grinned. “I don’t think it’s considered stalking if you’ve only been doing it for a day.”

“I might have known you for longer than a day.” She shied away an inch as she finished her sentence.

My smile vanished and my jaw clenched. “You might have known me longer than a day?”

Finally, Hazel ate a peanut and washed it down with her water. “We need to talk.”

Four words I hadn’t dreaded much before yesterday.

Four words that now made me crave tequila.