Tattered (Lark Cove Book 1)

Carrying two bowls of snacks, I hustled across the yard to the tables set up on the shoreline. I should be thinking about Charlie’s party, but my head was in a fog.

A Logan fog.

I’d almost kissed him. Again. Something I’d sworn after last night I wouldn’t do. Except I sure hadn’t put up much of a fight when he’d trapped me against the counter.

Goddamn it. Going for a walk last night had been a colossal mistake. What had I been thinking, barging into his hotel room? Why had I had sex with him?

Stupid question.

I’d been so happy to see him in Lark Cove that I’d acted purely on emotion, letting my immense relief, joy and desire lead the way. I’d kissed him because I had no other way to explain how much it meant to me that he’d kept his promise.

But now, the emotions were waning and worry had filled in the gaps.

What did Logan want from me? Was he looking for a fling? A long-distance relationship? I didn’t know how to ask him what he wanted because I didn’t want to tell him what I wanted.

Him.

I wanted him to stay in Lark Cove. To be a full-time father to Charlie. To explore this thing between us. I wanted that damn phone of his to stop ringing.

His job was demanding. I could support and respect his commitment to work. But Logan’s passion went well beyond career commitment. In the short time he’d been here, I’d discovered his only flaw.

Logan was a workaholic.

If he was so dedicated to his career, did he have room in his life for anything else?

Whatever the answer, I didn’t have time to worry about it now. Today, I needed to focus on Charlie’s party and entertaining a group of parents who were coming to my house for the first time ever. People who gave me polite but distant smiles at the school programs and soccer games.

I could picture the awkward afternoon now. Me, Jackson, Hazel and the bar folk on one side of the yard. The other kids’ parents on the opposite. Logan would likely be mingling with them, impressing them with his small-talk skills and big-city anecdotes. Tomorrow’s grapevine topic would be predictable.

Did you meet Charlie’s father?

What a wonderful man. And so handsome.

How did Thea manage to trap a man like him?

Puke.

“Snap out of it,” I muttered to myself, arranging the bowls of snack mix and potato chips on a card table.

I’d asked Charlie what she wanted for her birthday party food and she’d requested snacks. It was fitting that Logan had taken to calling Charlie peanut. She loved them. She loved all snacks. I was constantly sneaking down to her fort to replace the stashes in her lunch boxes.

So today we were having a variety of chips and crackers and snack mixes. And since our local grocery store made delicious cakes, I’d ordered one for Charlie, just like I’d done for her other five birthdays.

There were juice boxes for the kids and mini water bottles. I’d also filled a couple of coolers with beer because my side of the lawn divide would definitely be drinking.

I was allowing myself two beers, max. Beer had a tendency to make me loose and flowy. If I had one too many, I’d be defenseless against Logan’s next advance. Three Fat Tires and I’d let him drag me back to his motel room without a peep.

Just the thought of another night with him sent a wave of pleasure down my back. Last night, though a huge mistake, had been incredible. I’d forgotten what real orgasms were like.

“Earth to Thea.”

I jumped at Jackson’s voice, spinning around and clutching my heart. “Hi.”

“You okay?”

“Oh, yeah.” I shrugged him off. “I was, um, just thinking about what else I needed to do for the party. Did you get my text about putting up a sign at the bar? I forgot to make one yesterday.”

One luxury of running the bar was that Jackson and I dictated hours. If it was slow, we closed early. And we did the same on days like today when we had family functions.

“It’s done.” He nodded, leaning past me for a chip.

I caught the smell of alcohol on his breath. It wasn’t uncommon for him to have a couple of beers at the bar, but I was surprised he’d had some before Charlie’s party.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked while crunching.

“Nothing.” I started walking for the porch. “Want a beer?” Or another?

“Are they cold?”

I rolled my eyes. “Once. I served you lukewarm beer at one birthday party. Are you ever going to let that go?”

“Probably not.” He threw an arm over my shoulder for a sideways hug.

The gesture confirmed he’d been drinking. Jackson was always playful and touchy after a few beers. But it was one of the rare afternoons where we were both free to relax, so if he wanted to get a buzz, I wouldn’t hold it against him.

I was just glad he was here. One thing was for sure: even if the other parents huddled together on their own, I’d always have Jackson on my side.

“Uncle Jackson!” Charlie’s Jeep came into view from behind a clump of trees. “Look at what Logan got me!” She waved at him while one hand was firmly gripping the steering wheel.

“Looks great, Chuck!” Jackson waved back with a smile, then dropped the arm he’d had around me. His good mood vanished as he looked from my daughter to me. “So, he showed?”

“He came in last night,” I said, not meeting his gaze as we continued to the porch.

When I’d gotten home last night, Hazel had still been awake. She’d taken one look at my face and known I’d slept with Logan. Apparently, the I-just-had-three-orgasms look took longer than five blocks to fade. If it was still lingering, I didn’t want Jackson to see.

“Hold up.” He caught up to my side, gripping my elbow as we walked.

I tipped up my chin and smiled. “What? Come on. I’ll get you your beer and then set out the other snacks.” I squirmed out of his hold and hurried to the porch, jogging up the four steps. I’d almost reached the door when Jackson grabbed me again, spinning me around.

“Thea,” he warned. “Did you fuck him?”

“Hey,” I hissed, glancing toward the yard to make sure Charlie wasn’t close. “Keep it down and watch the language.”

“We talked about this, Thea. You’re setting yourself up to get used.”

I glared up at him. “It’s not like that. He’s not using me.” I had complete faith that Logan had been honest last night when he’d told me he was single. There had been only truth in his eyes.

“So what then?” Jackson asked. “You’re using him? Is that it? Haven’t gotten laid in a while, so you take advantage of having Baby Daddy around? You know, if you needed to get off, you could have just asked me.” He shuffled closer, right into my space. “I’d be happy to help.”

“Jackson.” I gaped at him. “What is wrong with you?”

He inched closer. “Nothing. I’m just offering to help you out so we can get rid of this guy.”

“This guy is Charlie’s father.” I dug my heels in, not letting Jackson push me backward. I wasn’t sure what he was playing at, but I’d had enough people push me around in my life. I wasn’t going to take it from my best friend. “Logan’s not going anywhere. Get used to it.”

“Oh yeah?” His eyes flicked to the side, but before I could turn to see what he was looking at, his lips came right down on mine.

Jackson’s kiss stunned me for a split second, but my anger kicked in. I planted both hands on his chest and shoved him back with all my might.

“Damn it, Jackson!” I shouted at the same time the door to the house flew open and Logan stormed out.

“Get away from her.” Logan moved in a flash, stepping between me and Jackson and shoving me behind his back.

“Butt out, rich boy. This is between me and Thea.” Jackson stood to his full height, but Logan didn’t back down from my idiot of a friend.

“No.” Logan stepped closer. “This is between you and me.”

I’d seen this standoff at the bar more than my fair share of times. We were seconds away from flying fists and bloody lips.

No way I was letting that happen on my daughter’s birthday.

“That’s enough.” I grabbed Logan’s arm, yanking it as hard as I could to get his attention. He barely moved an inch, but it was enough to slip around him and stand between the men. “It’s Charlie’s birthday. Ruin this for her, and I’ll kill you both.”

That got through to Logan. With grinding teeth and clenched fists, he took one step back.

I spun around to Jackson and shoved my finger in his face. “Don’t you ever kiss me again.”

A pained gasp echoed across the porch. My head whipped down the stairs, just in time to see Willa’s face pale. Blond hair streamed behind her as she ran away.

Goddamn it.

Everyone within a twenty-mile radius of Lark Cove knew that Willa Doon was in love with Jackson Page.

Everyone except Jackson.

Willa was as sweet and shy as they came. She’d worked up the courage about a year ago to ask me if there was anything between me and Jackson. I’d assured her that our love was the purely platonic kind. It always had been and always would be.

But if she’d only caught the tail end of that exchange, she wouldn’t have realized that Jackson had only kissed me to get a rise out of Logan.

“Damn it, Jackson.”

“What did he do?” Hazel asked, coming outside to the porch.

“He kissed me to pick a fight with this one.” I jerked a thumb at Logan. “And Willa saw.”

Hazel’s face hardened. “Damn it, Jackson.” Before he could respond, she swung her arm back and brought it up fast and hard, smacking him in the back of the head.

“Hey!” He winced, rubbing the back of his head. “That hurt.”

She stuck her index finger in his face. “You deserved that.”

“Gran, why did you hit Uncle Jackson?”

All our heads spun to the little girl climbing out of her Jeep at the base of the steps.

“Sometimes your uncle needs a good thumping,” Hazel declared, then turned to Jackson. “All the bowls in the kitchen need to be taken down to the tables. Get on it.”

His frame shrank. “Yes, ma’am.”

We might be in our thirties, but neither of us ever went against that tone in her voice.

“Show me that Jeep.” Hazel left Logan and I on the porch while Jackson disappeared inside the house.

He and I would have it out later. For now, I was just glad that Charlie had missed the entire kissing episode and her happy birthday wasn’t in jeopardy.

“You okay?” Logan stepped up to my back and placed his hands on my shoulders.

I nodded and turned, ready to apologize and explain, but I was cut off when two of Charlie’s soccer teammates came running around the side of the house followed by their parents.

My explanation would have to wait.

It was party time.

“Here.” I handed Logan a tumbler of bourbon and ice. “It’s not Macallan, but it’ll have to do.”

“Thanks.” He took the glass, resting it on his knee as I sat down on the couch beside him.

I had my vodka in hand, but tonight, it was in a glass, over ice and with a lemon twist. “Thank you. For today.”

He extended a hand to squeeze my knee. “You’re welcome.”

Logan had been amazing at the party. He’d stuck by my side all day, introducing himself to the other parents and bringing them under his spell. I’d gotten to know some of the other parents better than I ever had before, so much so, a couple of them had insisted I sit with them at the next soccer game.

Because of him, there hadn’t been any awkward silences or divided groups. He’d brought us all together from the start and no one, especially me, had wanted to leave his side.

On top of that, he’d been incredible with Charlie. He’d watched proudly as Charlie had made a wish and blown out her candles. He’d fussed over all the gifts she’d gotten from her friends. When he wasn’t standing by me, he was at her beck and call, getting her another drink or more snacks or another piece of cake.

The afternoon and evening had flown by in a whirl, and Charlie had fallen asleep with a smile on her face.

For the first time, both her mother and father had tucked her into bed on her birthday.

“It was a fun day.” Logan sighed. “Except for the part where he tried to kiss you.”

“Jealous?”

“Yes.”

I smiled, glad he hadn’t tried to deny it. “There’s nothing going on between me and Jackson. He was just trying to get a rise out of you.”

Jackson and I were having words tomorrow, though he already knew he’d screwed up. He’d kept his distance today, watching from the back of the crowd. Any time I found his gaze, it was full of apology.

“I still don’t like it.” Logan set down his glass on the coffee table, then reached across the couch. He looped his finger into the cloth belt of my dress, giving it a tug.

I didn’t fight it. I scooted close so we were shoulder to shoulder. There was a lot I needed to sort out when it came to Logan, but tonight, I was too tired to resist snuggling into his side as he put his arm across the back of the couch.

“She’s six.” His voice was laced with regret. “I’ve missed so much.”

My heart broke. “I’m so sorry. I wish—”

“Hey.” His hand came up to cup my cheek. “Don’t.”

“Okay.”

His hand fell away as he dropped his cheek to my hair. I sank even further into his side. “Tell me what her other birthdays were like.”

“They were much less exciting. Mostly just me and Hazel fussing over her. Actually,” I pushed away to stand from the couch, “I can show you.”

I put down my drink, then went to the closet in the hallway, pulling down a plastic tub full of the scrapbooks I’d made for Charlie.

I hefted the tub into the living room, smiling as I set it down on the coffee table. Then I took off the lid, barely able to contain my excitement as I found the book I wanted and handed it over.

“Start with this one. It’s her baby book.”

Logan set his glass aside, sitting on the edge of his seat with the pink scrapbook splayed across his knees. He stroked the edge of the first photo, memorizing the picture. The one of Charlie swaddled and sleeping on my chest as I dozed in my hospital bed.

It took him a few moments to flip the page. I didn’t rush him. Instead, I resumed my seat and watched as he slowly studied every detail in five scrapbooks.

I’d put hours and hours into those books. Placing pictures. Adding designs. Noting important moments. I’d compiled one every year after her birthday. Mostly I’d done it for myself, so I’d have something to look back on as Charlie grew up. It took days to put one together with hundreds of photos. Every year when I was done, I told myself I’d scale back with the next book.

The look of pure awe and joy on Logan’s face made me grateful I’d never backed off.

Maybe deep down, I’d put them together not for myself, but in hopes that one day I could give them to Logan.

He studied each photo and memento, touching the ones he seemed to love most. Book after book, I sat at his side and watched him soak it all in.

I told him little stories, like how when Charlie was two, she’d only eat if I gave her ketchup, which she called her “dip.” Everything got dipped. Meat. Vegetables. Fruit. Then I narrated through the Christmases and Easters. Through her first haircut and her first day of kindergarten.

Hours later, when he came to the last page, there were tears in both our eyes.

“Thank you.” He sucked in a deep breath, then laced his fingers with mine. “It doesn’t feel like I missed it all now.”

“I’m glad.” I reached up to cup his cheek, like he’d done earlier, and stroked my thumb across the stubble on his jaw.

“Fuck, I wish I would have come back to that hotel bar sooner.”

Sooner? My thumb froze. “You came back? When? Why?”

“It must have been a week or so after you quit. Six months after we met. I came back to ask you out on a real date, but they’d told me you’d already gone. I should have hunted you down.”

My hand fell away as my head started spinning.

All this time, I’d thought he’d walked away and forgotten about me. I’d assumed he’d moved on to other things. But if he’d come back to the bar, it meant he’d wanted more.

He’d felt it too.

My eyes flooded at the realization. It hadn’t just been my silly, foolish heart believing in a one-sided fairy tale for all these years.

He felt it too.

In that hotel bar, I’d found something magical. Something more than lust and sex. Something I’d been running from for the last month, because I was worried Logan hadn’t felt it too.

But he had. He was right there with me.

I opened my mouth to speak but I was at a loss for words. So instead of trying to find them, I launched myself into his arms and crushed my mouth to his.

He kissed me back, stroking his tongue against mine as his hands threaded through my hair. I swung up and onto his lap, straddling his thighs and grinding down against the hardness growing in his jeans.

I wasn’t sure how long we sat there, but my lips were swollen when he finally broke away. He framed my face with his hands, holding me captive as I swayed on weak knees. “You’re a dream, Thea Landry.”

So are you.

“But we have to stop. I’m out of condoms.”

I shook my head, climbed off his lap and stood. “I went to the gas station while you and Charlie were on your adventure earlier and bought some.”

“You did?”

I nodded.

He surged off the couch and wrapped me up, kissing me breathless. Then he took my hand and led me upstairs, where the condoms were hidden under my pillow.

I’d bought them on a whim when I’d been getting ice earlier.

Just in case, I’d told myself as I’d grabbed a pack. Just in case Logan melted down my defenses.

Just in case Logan turned out to be more than just a dream too.