Taming Her Beastly Mate

“Dee! Dee! Dee! Dee! Dee!” Kurt chanted as he caught up to Diana and Lycaon. They had moved to a secluded part of the pack so that she could shift.

“Diana, I am right here. Not that you need me, but if you do, I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Lycaon’s gentle green eyes looked at her as he gave her a small encouraging nod.

“It’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget.” Kurt chimed in as he excitedly waited. He was going to see his future Luna’s form and couldn’t wait.

“You have nothing to fear.” Lycaon said as Diana looked at him. She searched his eyes for any doubt or hesitation. There was none there. All she saw was genuine care and encouragement. She trusted Lycaon. For a while she didn’t want to, but what had happened wasn’t his fault. She needed to put that past her. Her family had a great relationship with their deity, and she needed to continue it.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She searched for the beast that stirred within her. It was a part of herself that she had kept buried. It surfaced more when she was with Aiden, especially when they were having intimate moments. Her feral side wanted her mate.

She was supposed to be concentrating on connecting to her beast, instead the past began to flash in her mind. The sounds of her pack dying. The last time she saw her parents. And then her final moments with her brother.

She felt someone take her hand and encompass it in their own. She opened her eyes to see Lycaon’s green eyes staring back into hers. His thumb gently brushed over her knuckles in a soothing rhythm. “Let me help you,” he said quietly as he searched her eyes.

She pulled her hand away and shook her head. “I can’t right now.” She didn’t want to dive deeper into the pain. She knew she needed to do this to move on, but she just wasn’t ready. What if she was never ready to shift? Would Aiden still want her? Would he be ashamed of her for not trying? She had wanted to surprise him, but the pain began to flood into her.

She looked at her hands and let out a dry laugh. “Aiden might not want me as his Luna if I am going to be this weak.” She listened as a low snarl filled the air and glanced up at Lycaon.

“Then he doesn’t deserve you.” He growled.

“Dee, Aiden loves you. He wants you. He doesn’t care about anything other than you. You’ll see, Aiden—”

“Aiden thinks he is getting a Lycan Princess, not this pathetic girl who won’t move on from the past.” She gritted her teeth angrily, frustrated with herself. Why was she being so pathetic? Why couldn’t she move on? “Why won’t it just stop? I’m ready to move forward, but I feel like it has grabbed onto me. It doesn’t want me to let go.” She didn’t deserve Aiden like this.

Lycaon went to reach out for her, but Kurt stepped up and placed his hand on her shoulder.

“You are not a pathetic girl. You are a hurting woman.” Kurt smiled as he squeezed her shoulder gently. “You are trying to will the pain away. It doesn’t work like that. Like I said before, it is okay to be happy and to start enjoying life again. Come out and start seeing your pack. Take breaks when you need to. The problem is… that you haven’t allowed yourself to be happy. You haven’t allowed yourself to live. Take it slow. And little by little it will get better on its own. Winston lost his mate and Jamie lost his mother. They took time to grieve. They still miss her and always will, but they both decided to live for her. They cherish life for her. They understood they had pain but kept involved with the pack. A part of them will always mourn her, but as you can see, they didn’t stop living. There isn’t a magic number for grief. Everyone grieves differently, and it takes a different amount of time. The important thing is to not shut life out… which you have.” He gave her a small smile. “You don’t have to pretend the pain isn’t there. You don’t have to pretend you are all better. You can’t will the pain away. And right now… I’d venture to say there is another pain bothering you.” He watched as her eyes flashed up to his.

“It isn’t normal to be separated from your mate for so long. You have formed a bond. You are starting to doubt and belittle yourself. And I am betting that him being away from you—” He stopped mid-sentence as the tears began to fall down her cheeks. The stoic princess, who rarely showed any emotions, was now crying openly in front of him. He tugged on her shoulder, bringing her into his chest as he embraced her.

“That’s a good start. Let it out, Dee. Let it out.” Kurt whispered as he rubbed her back. As he held her, he felt an odd sensation wash over him. Almost a type of tingling sensation. He wasn’t sure what it was, and as quickly as it came, it vanished. It was probably nothing. Maybe since she was his Alpha’s Luna, he felt connected to her. He was probably just reacting to her crying and feeling protective. At least, that was what he reasoned.

Diana cried into Kurt’s chest, the tears streaming down her face as she let out all of the emotions she had been holding back. She felt so vulnerable, like a small child who needed to be held and protected. But Kurt was there for her, his strong arms wrapped around her, offering her a shoulder to cry on. She felt a strange warmth in his arms, or maybe she didn’t? It was gone so quickly, and her emotions were all over the place. She must have imagined it.

She had been so focused on trying to move on and be strong for her pack that she forgot to take care of herself. The pain of losing her family and being separated from Aiden had taken its toll on her. No wonder she couldn’t shift. Mentally, she was a mess.

It was hard to believe that it would ever get better. Would she ever live a normal life again? “I feel like I am stuck,” she whispered, her voice choking on her sobs.

Lycaon watched as Kurt comforted Diana, a pang of guilt in his heart. He had been so focused on helping her that he didn’t realize just how much pain she was in. A part of the pain was Aiden. Aiden could help her in a way none of them could. The presence of your mate alone is enough to help heal wounds. This was why she was doing better before. Aiden was healing her and with him gone, the wounds began to fester.

Kurt held her tightly, letting her cry it out. He knew she needed this release, needed to let out all the pain and sadness that had been building up inside her. He patted her back gently as he made a decision. He would move into the pack house. He was supposed to move into the house once Aiden took over. His father and mother didn’t live in the pack house, but in an adjacent house. Everyone was already prepared for the new generation to take over. And right now, his Luna needed him. He would be there for her, to help her heal and to support her every step of the way. He knew that Diana needed her mate, but until Aiden returned, Kurt would be there to help fill the void.

Diana eventually stopped crying, her breaths coming in shaky gasps as she pulled away from Kurt. She wiped her tears away, her eyes still red and puffy. “Thank you,” she whispered softly. She felt a bit embarrassed by her reaction, but she did feel better. It was as if her body needed that release. “I didn’t realize how much I needed that.”

“I’m here for you, Dee Dee. In fact, I am moving into the pack house. It was going to happen anyway, and this is the perfect time. I can get to know the Luna without the possessive Alpha around.” Kurt winked at her and she smiled, shaking her head.

“You don’t have to do that. I’m okay.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not doing this for you.” Kurt lied and gave her a wry grin. “It’s to build our relationship better. I could use having the Luna on my side for when I have to disagree with Aiden.”

Diana smiled and nodded her head. She knew he was doing it because he was worried about her and she appreciated it. The day Aiden left, she was ready for him to mark her, but it is funny how things begin to change in her mind. Not that she doesn’t want to be marked by him, but that he might not want her after being away from her. What if this gives him the time he needs to think clearly and not be drunk on the mate bond? She was the lycan princess, but wasn’t anything special. She couldn’t even shift. What did she bring to Aiden of value?

Shaun played with her emotions and used her. He obviously didn’t see any good in her. This betrayal did a lot of emotional damage to her. She had loved Shaun, and he ended up using her to destroy her kingdom. She lost everything because of him. She was stuck in a grieving state because she blamed herself for what happened.

“Alright, I’ll get my things and meet you at the house. We are going to party it up!” Kurt rubbed her head like she was a dog and then trotted away.

“Diana.”

She looked up at Lycaon, whose green eyes were full of concern. “I’m okay.”

He frowned and let out a loud, frustrated sigh. “You’re lying to me.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” She finally snapped out bitterly. He couldn’t understand. If she told anyone that she blamed herself for what happened, they would tell her it wasn’t her fault. That it was Shaun’s fault, and she can’t control his actions, but she was the one who let him in. If she hadn’t agreed to take him as her mate none of that would have happened. She felt the wall building back up. She really was stuck.

“Diana!” A frustrated growl ripped from Lycaon’s throat as he reached out for her. Instantly, the air around them shifted and they were standing inside of the pack house. “I don’t understand?! I don’t?! You are my creation. Lycan’s are mine. Don’t tell me I wouldn’t understand. Whatever pain you feel… I understand it.”

Diana froze, stunned by Lycaon’s sudden outburst. She had never seen him like this before. His eyes blazed with a fierce intensity that made her take a step back. She had never seen him lose his cool like this, but she could see the pain and frustration in his eyes. But then, just as suddenly, his expression softened and he reached out to take her hand.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I know it’s hard, Diana. I know how you feel. I know you are blaming yourself because I blame myself. I can tell you it isn’t your fault, but you have to believe it yourself. I should have been there. I could have stopped it. I was too late. If anyone is to blame, it is me. You can blame me, Diana. You can lash out at me, just don’t poison yourself.”

“I feel like I should have seen through him. I should have known what he was planning. I was so blinded by my feelings. I thought he really loved me, too.”

“You couldn’t have known, Diana.” He stared at her as he wryly thought how she couldn’t even see his feelings. How could she have known?

He stepped into her, cupping her cheek in his hand as he leaned his forehead closer to her face. His thumb stroked her cheek as her gray eyes stared back at him in confusion.

“Would you know if I wanted to k**s you… right now?”

She felt his hot breath caress her skin as his green eyes held her captive. Her brows furrowed and she wrinkled her nose. “I don’t get it? What point does that prove? That I am not a mind reader? I mean, you should still be able to figure out if someone is good or not. Even now…” She shook her head as Lycaon’s hand slid away from her cheek. “I still can’t believe he did what he did. I never felt anything malicious from Shaun.”

Lycaon snorted out an airy laugh and shook his head. There was nothing about him that even made her heart flutter.

“Am I interrupting something?” Kurt said, holding a duffle bag over his shoulder. His dark brown eyes were fixated on the deity.

Diana laughed and shook her head. “I think it was an odd way of proving I can’t know people’s minds, but it hardly works.” She waved her hand dismissively and shrugged. “I see what you were trying to say, but the analogy doesn’t quite work. Thanks though.” She smiled as she walked towards the kitchen.

Kurt slid his duffle bag down to the ground and slowly made his way over to Lycaon. “She is going to be okay. Her mind will figure things out and once Aiden comes back, she can make a full recovery. Aiden is the key here.” He looked at Lycaon from the corner of his eye briefly as he said the last part. He wasn’t sure, but the deity seemed to look at Diana in a way that he shouldn’t.

Lycaon nodded his head slowly. He hated to admit it, but it seemed Aiden was the one who could take care of her the best.