Take me to the Deepest Blue

They sat around Nick’s kitchen bar with a plate of Cheetos on the counter—the most popular snack for him and Louise for as long as he could remember. But after one look at Narya’s face as she popped one into her mouth, he concluded it wasn’t her favorite.

“Do you know who was supposed to pick you up?” Louise asked.

Nick thought she sounded too aggressive, but he understood that time was of the essence to her. She had papers to correct, and it was her turn to check the lab tonight. She had mentioned again earlier that they could turn her in to the police, and he had to persuade to drop the idea. He barely knew the girl but felt it his duty to make her feel safe here. He knew it irritated Louise that he was suddenly protective, but he was convinced they could help her on their own.

“No. I mean—I just know they were supposed to be there.”

“Well, where were they taking you?” Fiddling with the Cheetos in the palm of her hand, Louise was becoming more impatient by the minute. Narya’s vague answers certainly weren’t helping her case.

“I’m not sure. Just somewhere for me to . . . recover.” Narya bit her lips. She wasn’t sure how much she should divulge. Louise obviously saw her as suspicious. And Nick—she stole a quick glance at him. He had been kind to her, but she recalled the words of the Advisor at the training: “Trust no one.” She had heard that even some of the Changed Ones were not to be fully trusted and could be malicious toward one another. It was so unlike her community where there was little to argue over. There has been conflict between neighboring grids over the seaweed harvest, and other trivial things that bothered some more than others, but nothing escalated to a point where anyone was hurt or in imminent danger.

Louise narrowed her eyes, as though deciding whether to kick her out or not. Or worse, report her to the police. She had no identification on her—this was supposed to have been arranged by the Changed Ones. She lowered her gaze and clutched her knees. What else could she do or say to prove she was no threat, that she needed only a place to stay without raising too many questions?

Nick broke the silence.

“Hey, it’s okay. I mean, if you can’t take her for now, my place is big enough for two.”

Narya could tell he was treading carefully with Louise, leaving her the last word. She felt reassured relieved to see Louise’s tense face relax into a mildly exasperated expression.

“Alright, fine,” Louise said. She threw her hands up and waved them around dramatically. There was detectable irritation in her voice, and she forced out a smile with pursed lips.

“You can stay wherever you feel comfortable. And Nick, you’re the one with the extra cash to spend, so you can take care of her expenses.”

Narya and Nick simultaneously released a sigh of relief as Louise rose from her interrogator’s seat at the kitchen counter.

“Hey, I’m starving,” she said, pointing toward Nick’s empty fridge. “You guys want to go grab a bite?”

“Right. No seafood for this one.” Lauren nodded and laughed as she took down their orders. She gave Narya a sympathetic smile. It was obvious her seafood paté incident had caused quite a memorable scene, and she shrank into her seat.

“I’ll just take French fries.” Narya watched Nick trying to suppress a grin. “And, maybe, uh . . . water?”

She glanced at the drinks menu and felt dizzy at the sight of all the choices. She recalled reading about some of these drinks in the magazines. Too many of them and she might have trouble walking, talking, and making level-headed decisions. Already in an unfavorable situation, she really had to keep her wits about her.

“Aw, come on. It’s been a long day for all of us. Why don’t you have a Bloody Mary? Or maybe something lighter?”

Louise stole the menu from Narya’s hand and glided her fingers over the drink items. She wetted her lips as she searched for a more suitable drink for their new companion.

“What is . . . a Bloody Mary?” The name itself made Narya want to gag. The bloody image of the chopped up fish on Pete’s boat was still fresh in her mind. Even the stench of the bucket was still palpable. She pulled one of her sleeves to her nose and sniffed disapprovingly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea . . .” Nick said.

Louise dismissed his advice brusquely and waved her hand in his face.

“Oh, what are you, her legal guardian? Let the girl have some fun! Let’s do a piña colada for you. You seem like the fruity drink type. Lauren!” She slammed the menu down on the table and signaled for the waitress.

Louise and her determined ways were becoming familiar as she got to know her.

“Well, she can crash at your place tonight, then.” Nick shook his head disapprovingly at Louise’s choice of drink for Narya.

“She’ll be fine! We’ll just monitor how much she drinks. Right?” Louise winked playfully at Narya. She seemed less skeptical and more cheerful after only a few beers.

They had already made two bar stops in celebration of Louise having finished marking the term papers of a class in which she was the teaching assistant. She was a fast talker, with a low, firm voice and didn’t care much about anyone else’s opinion. Nick always deferred to her. They had a kind of bond that reminded Narya of hers and Keames. Where was he now? This was a large island. He could be anywhere. As she listened impassively to Nick and Louise arguing about the feeding behavior of the mako shark, she let her mind wander elsewhere. She rested her head on her hands and looked around aimlessly.

She caught a glimpse of the television at the bar. Keames. He was smiling at her. No, he was smiling at the camera. His blonde hair was longer now and swooped to the side. His eyes were as blue as she remembered as he gazed at her. He said something, but the sound was muted. She leapt up, her eyes glued to the screen in front of her.

“What?” Louise said. Her eyes followed Narya’s gaze and landed on the screen above them.

“Yes, he is yummy,” she said knowingly and grinned at Narya. “You like him, too, huh?”

Nick glared at the television with a feigned indifference.

“I . . . I know him.” Her voice trembled.

Louise smirked and rolled her eyes. “OK, sweetheart, everyone knows who he is, alright?”

“I mean, he’s . . . he’s my friend.” Narya settled on this word, since ‘merman partner’ was off the list.

“Ken Lauer is your friend?”

“Well, not just a friend. He’s my . . .” She was having trouble speaking. Of course Keames would have a new name as a Changed One, but she never expected him to be on television for the whole world to see. Shouldn’t the Elders have rules about that? Being someone so high profile would surely put them all at risk if he were discovered.

“What, boyfriend?” Louise scoffed with unmasked disdain. The alcohol has made her more blunt than usual.

Nick arched his eyebrow in anticipation of Narya’s response.

“Yes,” she said quietly. Keames was no longer there. The screen changed to a commercial featuring a singing crab. Something about fresh seafood pizza. Her ears were ringing and Narya had to grab the back of her chair to avoid losing her balance.

“Wait—wait! Are you telling us that Ken Lauer is your boyfriend?” Louise half-smiled, her eyes mocking such an unlikely scenario. Here was yet another bewildering fact about this odd girl.

“Well, I . . . I haven’t seen him in a while . . .”.

Nick was intrigued now. “You actually know him?” He waited for her to confirm the unlikely fact.

She wondered when he started appearing on television and whether it had changed him.

“Is he famous now?”

Louise paused, debating whether to take her on seriously or not.

“Well, I mean, yeah. He’s not exactly Leonardo DiCaprio, but he’s up there. Especially popular with girls who are suckers for romantic chick flicks.”

“Like yourself,” Nick said teasingly.

“Yes, like myself. I’m am not ashamed to admit that I enjoy watching Ken Lauer with or without a shirt on.” She giggled as she discarded her straw and took big gulp of her Bloody Mary.

“So you really know this guy . . .” Nick’s eyes were kind, and they sharply reminded her of Keames—not Ken Lauer—when they were both underwater, undisturbed by commercials.

“Yes.” She had to find a way to get to him. This chance encounter might have made her life easier. A movie star shouldn’t be that hard to trace. She looked up expectantly.

“Do you know how I can find him?”

The rest of the night was a blur. Nick tried to open his eyes, but his lids felt heavy, and he had very little willpower left. As he sat up in his bed, he felt a sharp headache and groaned softly. Someone shifted beside him. He turned and saw Narya’s long, flaxen hair spilling over onto his pillow. She lay on her side, her back facing him. They were both fully dressed. Obviously, nothing happened between them, and he let his shoulders relax. He watched her sleep and wondered how she ended up in his bed. Where was Louise? After a quick survey of the room, he was relieved to find no sign of her. How did they even get back to the house last night?

The last thing he remembered was Louise concocting a plan to trace Ken Lauer. It involved her hiring and paying for a private investigator. That was when he knew she was no longer sober. After her fourth Bloody Mary, she had no idea what she was talking about. And he had been on his fifth beer, with some tequila shots in between, all at Louise’s relentless insistence. When she had laughed hysterically at something Lauren said when she brought their next round of drinks, he grabbed the two drinks she had ordered and gulped them down before she had a chance to get more drunk. That was when his memory faded. He craned his neck to see if Narya was still sleeping. With her eyes closed, she looked beautiful and bewitchingly exotic—like someone from another world. He wanted to linger just to observe her for a while, but a noise from the kitchen distracted him. A quick glimpse back at Narya reassured him that the sound hadn’t woke her. He rose gingerly and left the warm bed, tiptoeing into the kitchen. Louise was busy putting ground coffee into the filter.

“How’d you sleep?” She looked as miserable as he felt, and as she turned on the coffee machine, she yawned loudly and stretched out her arms.

“I don’t remember a thing, Lou.” He took mugs out of the cupboard—the ones they had bought while in Italy a few years before—and placed them on the counter. ‘Ciao’ was written on one and ‘Bella’ on the other. He smiled as he thought of their times together. Not really that along ago but an eternity since he had felt as happy and carefree.

“Really?” She suppressed a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. “Me neither.” Her long bangs fell and covered the upper rim of her dark glasses, and it was these moments when Nick used to find her irresistible.

He wanted to swipe her bangs from her eyes and hold her close enough to smell her hair. Her jasmine-infused shampoo was her signature scent, and he wondered if she had changed it. But his desire soon was replaced by a sense of guilt, and he clenched his hand into a fist as he walked toward the fridge.

“How did Narya do?”

“She didn’t even touch the piña colada I ordered for her, so I’m sure she remembers everything.”

“Hmm.” The coffee was ready, and he poured a generous amount into his ‘Ciao’ mug.

“Do you think she was serious about Ken Lauer? How weird is that?” Louise asked, well into her first mugful. “I mean, she’s already weird. But what are the odds that a girl with nowhere to go actually knows someone famous like Ken Lauer?” Her voice rose, and Nick signaled for her to be quiet.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Didn’t she say that she hasn’t seen him in a while or something?” As impossible a scenario as this, he believed her. There was something about her; a childlike innocence that made her an unlikely liar.

“Hey, I read somewhere recently that he was filming his new movie near Vancouver.” Louise sounded like she had a plan. He gave her a warning look to stop her in her clever trail of thoughts.

“No, Lou. I am not going back there.” His voice was determined, and he shook his head. But she had done her research on Ken Lauer. Unfortunately, at least for her, Vancouver was the last place on earth he wanted to go, and it would take more than a dumb excuse like stalking Ken Lauer to get him on a flight there.

“Oh, come on! You haven’t been back there since—well, you know . . . That place is going to get run down if you don’t take care of it once in a while. Or at least clean it up and put it up for sale or something.” She spoke cautiously, not wanting to open a can of worms.

He didn’t answer. Staring into his coffee, he pressed his lips together and exhaled. He hated even talking about it—the harrowing past he’d been fighting to put behind him. He detested being anywhere that reminded him of that time.

“I’m sure Narya would love the chance to go and track down her boyfriend.”

“Hi.” Narya’s voice in the hallway startled them both. She stood unpretentiously, morning hair and all, in Nick’s T-shirt. “What are you talking about?”

“I—I have no money, but once I do, I promise I’ll pay you back!”

Her eyes pleaded with him, and the sympathy nestling inside him was dangerously making its way up, and he knew she was close to convincing him. How do girls do this? He cleared his throat and tried to leave the kitchen, but he felt himself cornered. Both women possessed the ability to make him feel quite defenseless.

“It’s not about the money.” It was too early in the morning for a major discussion like this one. And coffee—ever since he got Narya hooked on caffeine, he was down to one cup per morning. With Louise in his kitchen, he was limited to a pitiful half-cup that did nothing to clear his head, much less a serious hangover. He sensed that he was wavering, and it unnerved him to know that Louise had probably caught on to his hesitancy. Of all people, she knew how to take advantage of his weaknesses.

“Yeah, he has plenty of that, trust me.” Louise said.

“You don’t like Vancouver?” Narya’s eyes were light grey, and in the morning sun, they took on a different shade, making them appear almost golden. She regarded him with such hope that he had to look away.

“No, not exactly. I . . .” He didn’t want to have to explain. Louise was the one who came up with this idea, and now Narya was stuck on it, obsessed by the prospect of finding Ken Lauer.

“I just—I have to go. This is the only way for me to get to the people who were supposed to take care of me.”

“Okay, who are these people again?” Louise had redirected her attention. Skepticism filled her sharp gaze as it fell on Narya.

“Just . . . people that know me.”

“Uh-huh, and you have no idea who they are or where they live?” Louise’s unfriendly tone made Narya shift uncomfortably in her seat.

“Well, I don’t really know anyone here . . .”

He tried to ignore her desperation—the expression that made her look all but too vulnerable. Tears filled her eyes, and he felt a crack in the fortress he built around his guarded conscience.

“Okay—okay, fine. We can all go.” He raised both hands, signaling his defeat. If anything, he said this to deter Louise’s attention away from Narya. Damn, he gave up way too easily. Uneasiness crept into his mind, warning him about his sudden need to protect Narya. He tried not to think about it and took another sip of coffee.

“Really?” Narya folded her hands together as if she were praying, and she squealed before jumping up and down and giving Nick a hug. He steadied his cup so that he wouldn’t spill hot coffee all over her. Feeling her arms around him gave him chills since she was constantly cold. But he was used to the cooling sensation now—if anything, it soothed him.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine. You don’t have to pay me back or anything. We’ll just try to get you home.” He tried to smile, but he could feel the burden of that place weighing on him. It wasn’t going to be an easy journey back.

“Oh, we have to tell Pete! I’m sure he can give us a few days off. No tagging next week, right?” Louise hastened toward the door, her bag in her hand. “See you later! Hey, Nick, you’re buying my ticket, too, right?” Before he even had a chance to answer, she bolted out the door.

She had played him well. As if her animosity toward Narya was all a clever ruse to make him agree to the trip.

“You’re going where?”

“Vancouver.” Nick debated all morning when it might be best to bring up the trip to Pete. He knew they were heading into a busy shark-tagging season, but this was the only way for Narya to find her companions, or whatever Ken Lauer was to her, and Louise insisted she was long overdue for a vacation.

He sat with Pete—at Pete’s insistence when he found out Nick was suffering from a hangover—at a local beach coffee bar, though both of them had two shots of whisky in their coffee, also Pete’s idea.

“We’re planning to leave next Saturday.” He knew Pete wouldn’t exactly be against it, but he was still his academic superior and couldn’t afford to get on his bad side in his last term before graduation. “Unless you want me to stay.”

Pete waved nonchalantly. He was an easygoing guy and was known for it; and he was one of the most brilliant marine biologists with the most credentials. Nick did his research before flying all the way to the Bahamas to be part of Pete’s research team. Although this was not his only reason to be on the island.

“I’ll let you go on one condition.” He let Nick ponder what that might be while he took a sip of his spiked latte. The milk foam stuck to his lips as he smiled.

“I have another tagging scheduled for the day after tomorrow. Originally, I had Max coming in, but I’d like you to do it instead. And bring that shark whisperer with you.”

“Narya?” Nick hadn’t given that day much thought until now.

“Yeah, Nar-yee-a.”

Nick cringed at Pete’s mispronunciation of her name.

“Bring her along and I’ll grant you your vacation.” Pete put down the coffee mug and nodded cockishly at his student. This was his bargain and he was going to get it. Confidence oozed from him like the alcohol stench on his breath.

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.” Nick drummed his fingers on the table. He didn’t know why but he felt uncomfortable asking her. “She doesn’t know how to swim, and I don’t know if she’ll want to go again . . .”

“Sure, I understand.” Pete chuckled softly, and signaled for the waiter to bring the bill. And he turned back to Nick, still smiling. “But that’s my condition.”

His professor’s voice was firm and he recognized his tone to be serious—which was rarely the case.

The ocean was inexplicably calm. Narya could only imagine what the others were up to down below. On days like this, she would swim alongside Grey to places usually forbidden by the Advisors. Darkened Waters, as they called these off-limits areas. These were where the deep sea creatures roam. Fish that have yet been named or discovered by humans, with curious physical traits and unpredictable behaviors. No one really knew them very well, and only seldom do any merpeople encounter them. This was one of Narya’s favorite things to do besides reading onshore. The Darkened Waters fascinated her just as much as the land above. Today, as she sat on the sand, her eyes gazing out to the borderless ocean, her heart ached to swim freely and daringly like she did before. If she couldn’t find something that convinced her to stay, then she would leave here, give up the rest of her transitions and remain content with her life underwater. What was it that made some unwilling to return to a world that was already so magical and intoxicatingly beautiful?

The water looked irresistibly cool and, hypnotized by it, she stood up and took a few steps forward. When the waves gently rolled in and drops of seawater landed on her legs, she felt it: that tingling sensation, the pain—ever so mild—but still palpable. She looked down and saw the faint, glittery reflection of fish scales appearing where the water had splashed. Most merpeople during their transition would shy away from the coastal area and move into the city. She looked out to the ocean and assessed the risks. This was so close to home and she felt the proximity as comforting as it was alarming to have seen the scales resurfacing.

Cautiously, she dipped her toes into the water and felt the pain intensifying. From where she stood, she stared at her feet beginning to take the shape of her colorful fish tail.

“Narya!”

She didn’t know whether to look toward the waters, or back to shore. She followed the sound of the voice and turned back. A figure was running toward her. Nick. She stepped out of the water hastily and tried to cover her feet with the warm sand to dry it out. The pain was fading and only a few specks of fish skin could be detected on the sole of her feet.

As he got closer, she waved animatedly at him.

“Hey, I got some news,” Nick said, trying to catch his breath. “And a job for you.”

Tilting her head sideways, she waited for him to continue and reveal what that might be.

“How would you like to work for Pete? As his assistant for the tagging?”