Synonym

My body was frozen in place. I couldn't move if I wanted too. Even my mouth refused to let out any noise. No matter how hard it was to scream, I couldn't. It was silence but not darkness. No. The images infront of me were horrifying. It was everything that happened that night of the rape in vivid detail but the ending was not as it should be.

Instead I watched frozen as Finn tackled Jack to the ground. He delivered a powerful punch that drew blood from Jack's nose. I couldn't fight back this time. I couldn't knee Coleman in the balls and I couldn't kick Ryan in the head. I had to watch as Coleman left my body to draw a glistening silver knife from his pocket and violently thrust it into Finn's back like butter. The pain in my body intensified as my vision got blurry. Ryan's hands were still choking me to death and I was feeling the pressure in my head build.

I tried to scream but I couldn't even wiggle my toes. Inside of my head, voices let out piercing wails when Finn's body stilled and he rolled off of Jack. Coleman picked up Finn's shoulder to dislodge the knife from Finn's back with a little force and a loud squelching sound. Blood covered the shiny metal and Coleman's pale hands as he let the body drop back down on its back. Finn's face was frozen in its comatose state. He didn't look peaceful. He looked dead and angry. I watched in agony as Jack stood from the pavement shakily and delivered a swift and powerful kick to Finn's head making it snap to the side so his cold, dead green eyes pierced mine. Coleman pulled back and thrusted the knife into Finn's chest where his heart should be.

My vision blurred as the pain in my head and my neck became unbearable. I watched intently as the stainless steel plunged into Finn's chest over and over again until the pain and pressure consumed my brain and I blacked out with Ryan's hands around me and Finn's dead eyes in mine.

When the green irises blinked at me my whole body convulsed and the scream I thought I had been holding in left my throat like I was being murdered. I realized when I could move my body, that I wasn't dreaming and it was Finn above me, looking down and holding my arms down so I didn't flail them and hurt him or myself.

"Sylvia! It's okay. It's just a dream. You're safe. It's just me, Finn."

The noise in my throat died and Finn let go of his death grip on my upper arms. I must have took him by shock when I threw my arms around him, knocking him back into a seated position as I started to sob into his shoulder. I had never hugged him or wanted to be touched like this after a panic attack or a nightmare but after what I just witnessed, all I wanted was for his body to be against mine. To feel his loving heart beat with my own skin.

"I'll give you guys a minute..." I heard my dad say from my doorway. I guess I was screaming loud enough for him to wake up and need to check on me.

I didn't acknowledge him though, as I continued to hold onto Finn like my life depended on it. His hand moved along my back slowly, reminding me that he was very much alive and I was not at all frozen in place.

"Do you want to talk about it? That's the louder I've heard you scream since the rape." He whispered lowly in my ear. My breathing had slowed to normal but the tears were still flowing.

"I-I was back there and it was happing all over again and I-I couldn't do anything." I rambled on at a million miles a minute. Finn deserved an award if he understood what I was saying. "Then you came and-and tackled Jack but I wouldn't do anything so Co-oleman stabbed you. I tried to fight back but I couldn't move or scream or-or anything. I just watched you get killed before Ryan strangled me to death." I was sobbing all over again. My few tears had turned into a waterfall cascading down my warm skin and onto Finn's bare, tanned shoulder.

"It's okay though. I'm right here. That didn't happen. Everything is perfectly fine. There's no need to worry." He murmured in my ear. "I'm safe and so are you." It was the same thing every time but it worked. It always coaxed me out of that horrid space in my mind. Finn never told me to get over it or to calm down like someone else might. He understood, or he atleast tried to.

So I let him hold me. He didn't say anything else as I calmed my mind with the comforting motions he provided. We sat on my bed until my tears dried and my mind ran blank. I was more grateful then I had ever been that Finn's father didn't mind if he stayed the night here. I don't know what I would have done if it was my father. He had never seen my panic attacks or my nightmares let alone to this extent.

I think he had a newfound respect for Finn after he saw what he did during the trial. How severe my injuries were and how Finn helped me through it all when I refused to tell anyone else. I think tonight solidified that gratitude towards my boyfriend. He was already liked by my father but now my dad had no excuse to dislike him.

Although I'm pretty sure he already loves Finn more than me.

After a few minutes passed, I untangled myself from Finn's shirtless body. My feet hit the cool wood floor as I crossed my room in search of my hairbrush. I quickly ran it through my brunette locks while Finn watched me from the bed. I turned to leave the room when Finn's voice stopped me.