Chapter 38
Anastasia’s POV
I stared at my reflection in the mirror after wearing my sweater and sighed. I was feeling extra lethargic today. Everything was finally weighing down on me along with the changing weather.
I looked around the room with pursed lips.
Nothing gave the feeling of his presence. It was like I dreamt those few hours with Cain in here.
He never returned after our ugly argument. I went to sleep alone and I woke up alone.
Aeron and Xic were still here but there were no signs of Cain. I didn’t try to ask them and they didn’t say anything either. Even Angie and Nat were quiet during breakfast.
Everyone was ready to leave for Snoqualmie Ridge.
“No time to feel low, Ana,” I patted my cheeks softly. “You can’t own what’s already occupied.” I grabbed my bags and left the room.
I frowned when I came outside. I looked left and right but there were no cars and no people in the driveway.
Except for Cain.
He was leaning against his car casually in casual clothes for a change and looking at me from behind his shades.
“You took your sweet time,” he commented when I went to him unwillingly.
“Where is everyone?” I asked, confused.
“They left a couple of minutes ago,” Cain replied.
“Without me?” I exclaimed. “How can Angie leave me behind?” I took out my phone from the bag to call her. “She is so dead.”
Cain snatched my phone.
“You are going with me,” he said smugly. “Get in.” He took my bags and placed them in the trunk. I pursed my lips when Cain opened the door for me. “Ana?”
I heaved a sigh and got in his car silently. There was no point in arguing over this.
I could kill Angie once I reached there.
Our ride was full of silence and tension. I kept looking outside to avoid Cain but my eyes found themselves focusing on his reflection in the window every other second.
I rubbed my hands and blew in them. It was so cold.
Couldn’t they choose moderate weather for their wedding?
We were going to freeze if it started snowing.
“You should have dressed more warmly,” I looked at Cain when he turned up the heater. It put a frown on my face.
His attitude.
“I’m fine,” I replied in a clipped tone and looked away from him. “I thought you left.”
“Why would you think so?” Cain chuckled.I had no answer. “Ana,” I clutched my arms tightly. “Look at me.” I refused. “Ana-”
“Why is it taking this long?” I interrupted him sharply and looked out.
I frowned when the scenery changed to the wilderness. We have been on the road for ages. We should have reached Snoqualmie Ridge hours ago.
“Are we on the correct route?” I looked at him suspiciously. “Cain?” He gave no response. “Stop the car.” He turned a deaf ear to everything. “What–” the car stopped with a jerk, “the hell is wrong with you?”
“Not me,” Cain looked at me solemnly. “The car.” He got out.
“What?” I got out after him. “Your car broke down? But how can your car break down?”
“Why?” Cain chuckled. “Why are you surprised that my car broke down?”
“Well, fix it.” I frowned when he just leaned against his side and crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you waiting for? Fix it so we can leave. God knows where you drove us.”
“I,” he lowered his shades on his nose, “don’t feel like it.” I gaped at his response and grabbed my phone from the bag. “There is no network here.” I glared at the back of his head when he announced after I checked. Cain glanced at me lazily over his shoulder. “We are stranded.”
“Don’t joke,” I stormed to his side. “You are not human, remember? Fix the car with your magic or teleport us.”
Cain stood up straight and towered over me. I held my breath when he lowered his face to my face level.
“No,” he refused bluntly. “I don’t feel like it.”
“What?” I said incredulously. “Are you–do you even hear yourself?” I said in disbelief.
I looked around and grimaced. It was late in the afternoon. The weather only made it worse.
“What is wrong with you, Cain? Just fix it. Do something. I want to go.”
“No,” he refused again.
“Fine,” I threw my hands in the air. “Fine. Don’t do anything. Stay here,” I gestured around casually, “in the middle of nowhere.” I stomped to the opposite side of the road.
There was no life except for the dense and dark forest on both sides of the road. I had no hope of hitching a ride.
God knew where he brought me and why.
“Where are you going?” Cain asked, amused.
“None of your concern,” I yelled at him. “I’m going to find a way for myself.”
“In the woods?” I turned and glared at him. He had the nerve to smirk. “Good luck.” Cain laughed.
“Ughh! I hate you,” I yelled frustratingly and stormed inside the woods. “Bloody heartless jerk.” I tripped over the thick roots multiple times. “What was I thinking?” I looked around in agitation. “What would I find here?” I sighed in defeat and sat on a giant rock covered with green moss.
I could sulk here all I want.
I looked around in wonderment. The forest was lush. There was barely any light but it felt comforting. The rich greenery soothed my eyes and calmed my nerves.
“I thought you would have reached by now,” I glowered at Cain. “This is a jungle, Ana,” he came to me leisurely. “You think it is okay to wander around here alone?”
I turned the other way when he sat next to me.
Don’t pay attention to him, Ana. Ignore him and focus on the surroundings. It’s so...green.
I crossed my arms over my chest and scooted further away from him. It was going to be dark soon. The thought was perplexing. I rubbed my arms when I shuddered involuntarily.
“You know,” Cain said after some time. I gawked at the bonfire he lit out of thin air. “It’s a jungle.” He emphasized. “You know what you might find in woods this dense and dark, right?”
His eyes held an evil gleam.
“Lions, tigers, vipers,” his voice dropped a notch, “wolves, panthers.” Cain leaned back on his palms and eyed me wickedly. “Tarantulas.” I glared at him murderously. “Just saying.”
“I have seen worse than Tarantulas,” I snorted. “What’s a tiny spider before Anima and demons? You.” I narrowed my eyes. “Tarantulas are nothing compared to you.” I scoffed. “I’m not afraid.”
Bloody monster.
He got me good. Cain succeeded in freaking me out with the last part.
I hated spiders more than Anima. They were my worst nightmare.
Every time a leaf rustled somewhere, I jumped out of my skin.
I looked at Cain from my periphery. He was in too much of a merry mood. He seemed like he was enjoying his time here in this forest with no worry in the world.
I bit my lip nervously and slid toward him slowly.
“You okay, Ana?” Cain asked teasingly. I looked away when he chuckled at my angry pout. “So you are not going to talk to me?” I didn’t fight him when he pinched my chin and turned my face toward him. “Be prepared to spend the night here then.”
“Is this your plan?” I asked angrily. “You couldn’t find any place better than this?”
“Why?” He cocked one brow in question. “You would have preferred if I took you someplace high?” I seethed silently. “The plan was to get you all alone with me,” Cain admitted shamelessly. “What could be better than a jungle? I wanted no disturbance and I am liking it a lot.” He smirked arrogantly.
“You will have no option but to cling to me. You will have to stay close to me all the time.” I blushed at the blunt declaration of his evil intentions. “We are not leaving unless you talk.”
“What is there to talk about?” I said in exasperation. “We talked enough last night.” I pushed his hand away from my chin. “You should not push yourself to be nice to me either.”
“Ana,” Cain cupped my jaw. His eyes narrowed into slits when I averted my gaze. “Why are you making it so hard?”
I yelped in surprise when Cain lifted me in his lap.
“What are you doing?” I felt highly flustered when he locked me in his arms between his legs. “Cain!”
“Shut up,” he jerked me into him. “There is a limit to my patience, Ana. Don’t push me too much. I have my ways to get what I want.”
“You are threatening me?” I glared at him. “I can’t believe you!” I chuckled humorlessly. “What do you want?”
“You,” Cain replied, “I want you and I have already told you this. Let me finish,” he put his finger on my lips. “Why are you being so difficult about it? I told you, didn’t I?”
“And I said that I don’t want it,” I interjected. “Why can’t you understand, Cain? It’s meaningless without feelings.”
“Why do we need to label everything between us?” He asked coldly. “We are aware. Isn’t that enough?”
“No,” I shook my head. “It’s different, okay? Being aware of your needs and being aware of your feelings are two different things.”
“Ana!”
“It’s going nowhere, Cain,” I said tiredly. “There is no point in talking over it. I can’t be with you. I don’t know what kind of fucked up joke this is. Us.” I pointed between us.
“We are bound by this curse.” I raised my left arm. “Even if I tried to feel something for you, I will be reminded in the most excruciating way that I can’t have you.”
“Ana!” Cain palmed the side of my face firmly. “I was not in love with Omisha. No, you listen to me now,” he jerked my face when I opened my mouth.
“She portrayed what I never expected. She came to me when everyone ran away. She showed affection, something I never understood. I felt attracted to her out of curiosity. It was not love.” His eyes locked mine in a heated stare. “I never loved Omisha. I just entertained her deception.”
“But you–”
“Held onto her?” Cain completed my sentence. “Yes, I did. I would have until I had taken my vengeance out on her for what she did. She got my parents killed and hurt my siblings, she betrayed my trust and tried to make a fool out of me.” Cain scoffed bitterly. “I could never forgive that.”
He brushed my hair behind my ear.
“Yes, she was beautiful. I enjoyed her company as long as it lasted. But that’s it. I was playing her just like she was playing me.” Cain said darkly. “Omisha holds no place in my life. She meant nothing to me. She could never. I wouldn’t have spared her a thought even if that false prophecy came true.”
I watched him silently.
“I’m not nice. I don’t intend to be. I don’t own what makes one human, Anastasia. You can’t expect me to feel what I’m not born with.” He cupped my cheek. “I don’t want to pretend with you. I could have lied but it would have hurt you.” He caressed my cheek with his thumb. “I don’t want to do that.”
“Then what is the problem?” I asked desperately. “Doesn’t it mean something?” I pressed. “You are part human, no? You have a heart and if you can feel hatred and animosity then why not love?”
“This pendant,” Cain dodged my question blatantly. “It’s an anti-charm for the curse.” He touched the moon crest. “Lyra lied. It’s not to keep you from me. It’s to fight the curse if we come close.” Cain informed me.
“As long as you wear it, the curse won’t harm you. You have Einar’s bracelet as well.” Cain grabbed my arm and kissed my wrist. “They will keep you safe.”
“Is there a way to break this curse?” I asked. “Will we ever be free of it?”
“We will,” Cain hugged me close. “There is a way. Don’t worry,” he kissed my forehead. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
It didn’t feel right.
Something felt amiss in his confession. I felt it last night as well when Cain said he wanted me but he won’t love me.
How was this possible?
Wasn’t desire one of the many colors of love? How was it possible that he was ready to go to any lengths for me without feeling anything for me?
I might have believed if he said that he needed time to process his emotions. I would have understood too because I was going through the same dilemma.
To understand what I truly felt for Cain.
I wasn’t sure right now. Whether it was because of what Laurel told me, just attraction, or if I was truly falling for him on my own.
I was not sure if I was ready to gamble my life. I wanted to give everything time and understand.
But Cain straight out refused and asked me to do the same.
What was the point of being together then?
What’s a body without a soul? Nothing but a carcass.
What was the point of intimacy if it was just to satiate the superficial cravings?
It would never be enough and one day it would become nothing but a curse for us.
Why did I have to realize? Why couldn’t I stay oblivious to my feelings?
“Ana?”
“Hmm,” I responded weakly.
“Are you still hung up on the thought?” His brows furrowed and his mouth turned down in apprehension. “Ana-”
“Let’s assume I agree,” I interjected calmly, “what will happen once you get bored of me?” His eyes hardened. “You won’t be committing to me so it means that you would go to other women as well. Right?” I smiled woefully. “So I should be like a prized possession in your room unless I become an eyesore?”
“Ana!” Cain warned dangerously.
“If that’s the case then I should have flirted with Russell.” His whole demeanor shifted toward wrath. “He is handsome without a doubt, rich too and he showed genuine interest in me. So what if he wants to have sex first! It’s the same thing, no? You are asking the same.”
I kept a straight face when Cain gripped my waist painfully.
“I should have given him a chance to prove himself. He is a good catch, a little dumb but good nonetheless. I think I’m going to–”
Cain smashed our lips in a rough and aggressive kiss. His tongue shoved his dominance down my throat and I moaned loudly when he plundered every corner of my mouth. I tugged at his shirt when I started feeling dizzy but he didn’t stop.
Cain tightened his grip around my hair and jerked my head back. I mewled in his mouth when he meshed my frame into his. I felt every beat of my heart coursing into his until I couldn’t differentiate our heartbeats anymore.
His heart was beating fast for the first time.
I gasped loudly when his lips released mine at last. Everything was spinning and hazy. I thought I was going to collapse. If Cain hadn’t stopped a moment ago, I would have fainted.
“Dare to say that again, Ana,” Cain whispered seductively against my cheek. “I will skin that bastard alive for everyone to see.”
I tried glaring at him through my foggy vision.
“You are mine, do you hear me?” He grabbed my face possessively. “You are only mine.” I closed my eyes when he kissed me all over my face. “You are fucking mine in every way.”
Cain kissed me again, this time slowly and tenderly.
“I’m done talking,” Cain pecked my lips repeatedly. “I’m going to do what I do right.” He raised my left hand and kissed it feverishly.
Ring!
There was a ring on my ring finger.
“I will be yours in every way.” Cain kissed the ring. “I won’t cheat you or anything.” The burning intensity of his eyes rendered me speechless. “You won’t be some showpiece in my room, Ana. You can never be.”
“Then why?”
“But I can’t fall in love with you,” he cupped my cheek firmly. “Expect everything but this.”
“And if I fall in love with you?”
“You can’t,” Cain gritted angrily. “Just don’t.”
“But why?” I dared to ask. I knew it. I was sure now. “Because of the curse?”
“You can’t fall in love with me,” Cain said angrily. “I won’t let you.”
“Become your weakness?” I asked calmly. The fire in his eyes turned to ice in a heartbeat. “I see.” I got out of his hold. “So that’s how you perceive love.”
“I can’t let anyone use these so-called emotions against me.” He chuckled darkly. “Such a fleeting thing they are. Emotions! Like a cool breeze in the scorching heat.”
I felt a chill down my spine at the darkness in his eyes and voice.
“I’m not a human who will be bedazzled by something transitory.” Cain pinched my chin. “How could you even consider the thought when you know it will kill you?”
“Because I don’t consider it a weakness,” I replied confidently. “It doesn’t make me vulnerable. It gives me strength. Because I know when I will fall, my love will protect me against all odds.”
“It’s a lie,” Cain muttered spitefully. “You are doing nothing but trying to find comfort in your fears.”
“I’m not afraid, Cain,” I whispered, “I was hurt, yes, because Laurel chose to lie to me. The truth doesn’t concern me. I’m not afraid of it. I’m not afraid of my destiny.” I caressed his cheek with my fingers.
“Everyone is born in pairs, Cain. It’s the very rule of existence. It’s what creates balance in the universe. But my feelings are not my subjugation to this fact.” I gazed into his eyes. “It’s because I want to.”
“Even if it means you could die?” Cain asked, his voice and eyes enraged.
“Maybe!” I replied honestly. “I’m still on my way to you. I won’t know until I reach you.” Cain glared when I smiled. “But yes, I would do anything to protect you with my feeble strength.”
“You are insane,” Cain growled. I leaned into his touch when he palmed my cheek. “But I won’t entertain your lunacy.”
“Likewise,” I retorted. “I’m not going to be your property.”
Cain looked behind me suddenly. I was startled when his eyes switched.
“Cain?” I tried looking behind but he didn’t let me.
“Let’s go,” He got off the rock and helped me down.
He held me protectively to the car. His posture didn’t relax even when we drove back to Snoqualmie Ridge.
Cain was quiet the entire way. The darkness didn’t leave his eyes. He looked deep in thought and his bloodthirsty expressions made him unapproachable.
The air around was drowned in malignance and iniquity.
Yet, I was drawn to him.
I looked outside when we reached Angie’s grandparents’ manor.
“Go,” Cain commanded. “I’m not leaving, Ana. Just go inside and rest. It’s pretty late.” I nodded and got out of the car.
I was not ready for the surprise waiting for me.
“Shae!” I said in disbelief. “Oh, my God!” I hugged her tightly when she came running to me. “Are you okay? You are not hurting, right?” I pulled away and looked at her whole. “I’m sorry, Shae.”
“I’m fine.” Shae smiled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”
“I’m so happy that you are fine.” I hugged her again. I looked at Cain when he came to us. I couldn’t help but smile gratefully.
“Master,” Shae bowed to him respectfully.
“Protect her,” Cain ordered her. “Keep Ana safe until I return.”
He was gone before I could blink.