SWNOVELS Sworn Enemy: Chapter 13
I woke up this morning with Charlie Wills on my mind because we keep running into each other. After running into him at Fresh Pickens, I saw him again later that afternoon at the Walmart. Thankfully, I managed to avoid having to make small talk with him.
This last time, though…fuck. I don’t want to talk about how ineffective it is to run into goddamn Charlie Wills while making a pharmacy run for my antianxiety meds. Kinda defeats the point if you ask me.
Of course, there’s not a chance in hell he didn’t clock the lube and condoms in my hands. I could’ve gotten a handbasket, but noooo. I’m over here, a newly out gay guy, manhandling sexual health items for the whole world to see.
He tried to be nice and pointed out the one non-sex-related item in my hands. “Oh, I love that soap.”
Yeah, I know. Having smelled every soap in the tri-county area, I finally found his brand next to the condoms. I sent him a nod, and thankfully, he just dipped his head and gave me a little half-wave as I stood in line for my prescription.
Seriously, just kill me now.
Oh, sorry.
I’m not supposed to make hyperbolic statements like kill me now anymore because of the whole attempted suicide thing. Newsflash, folks: I didn’t lose my sense of humor because I decided to try killing myself.
Seriously, it was just the one time.
Though the idea of buying condoms and lube is hilarious. I mean, it’s not like I’m having sex with anyone. Except for the parking lot rendezvous with Charlie, which I think we’ve mutually decided to…pretend didn’t happen.
The thing with the condoms is that I made a deal with myself that if and when I made it to the one-year mark, I’d be open to the possibility of something.
I don’t know if that’s a friend-with-benefits situation, relationship, or what. I just want to be prepared for any possibility. Save for the possibility of running into Charlie Wills.
Not at all embarrassing. Also, weirdly, I don’t want him to think I’m actually out here getting laid. Not gonna examine that sentiment too closely.
Anyway, after running a few errands for my brother’s store, I start on the repairs to the wall that goes around the back porch area of the Broken Oak.
Oliver, the owner of the Broken Oak and a man who had every right to ban me for life, was kind when I apologized for drunk driving into the front of his restaurant. Thankfully, my brother still has friends over at the glass manufacturing place, and last year we were able to upgrade all of the windows in the front.
When he let Jason and I come back as patrons, I noticed that the brick wall surrounding the back patio was crumbling in a few places. I asked if he’d let me further atone by repairing it, and he graciously agreed.
Of course, it doesn’t feel much like atonement when Sandy keeps Nacho and me supplied with delicious food and ice-cold water.
Anyway, I’m digging out a cracked brick when I hear the back door open. Wondering what goodies they’re bringing us now, I pop my head up, and wouldn’t you know it, out walks Charlie Goddamn Wills, looking all hippie-meets-spaghetti Western. Worse, he’s being chivalrous by helping Sandy bring us a pile of sandwiches and chips.
“Oh look,” Nacho whispers, not bothering to keep the amusement out of his voice. “It’s your favorite person.”
My cheeks heat, regretting that I told him what happened between us. “Shut it, Nacho.”
I stand, and Charlie sends me a wave, then beckons us over. I set down my tools and swipe at my clothes, hoping I don’t have brick dust smeared across my forehead.
Nacho grins, waving back to Charlie and Sandy. “Actually, I’ll be right back. Gotta grab something from the store.”
“No, you don’t,” I grit out under my breath.
“No, I don’t,” he answers, grinning like a jackass.
“Don’t leave me alone with him,” I whisper desperately to his retreating back.
Traitor.
Nacho follows Sandy back into the restaurant, and I face Charlie with a pained smile.
“It’s about time they repaired this back here,” he observes, his expression suspiciously neutral. Like maybe he caught a little of my exchange with Nacho.
“Well, I figured it was the least I could do after I demolished the whole front of their building. Won’t do them any good to have a fancy new face and a scraggly butt,” I joke, immediately humiliated by my attempt at humor.
Charlie frowns, shaking his head.
“You don’t have to diminish what you’re doing, Justin,” he says, touching my elbow. “Oliver said you refused to take any money for the repair.”
Charlie doesn’t linger or anything, but the heat of his hand on, well, any part of my body shoots my heart rate through the roof.
Look, it’s not my fault. This month alone, he’s hate-fucked me, apologized to me, and then been genuinely nice on, like, three occasions. My heart and cock are hella confused right now.
And there’s the small factor of the massive crush-slash-desperate love for him that I’ve carried over from high school.
Get a fucking clue, Jennings.
“Um, anyway. Sandy said she made too much and I should join you if I want to.”
Charlie hesitates as he says this, looking a little uncomfortable. Welcome to the party, pal.
“But it looks like you’re in the middle of things, so you don’t have to stop for me.”
I shake my head. “No, this is a good place for me to take a break. Besides, it’s hella hot out here, and I need to refill my water jug.”
“Oh, would you rather go inside?”
“No, I’d like to eat out here with you,” I answer in a rush, dead set on putting my antianxiety meds through their paces.
Nervous, I sit down next to him and pull a glass of sweet tea to me, drinking it half down.
Charlie looks a little uncomfortable but then perks up. Like maybe he figured out what to do with this awkward silence. “So, uh, I forgot to ask Jason at Sunday dinner, but did he enjoy his break?”
“Yeah. I’m glad they…um, he took some time. It’s been a real busy year, and he’s been working too hard. He was long overdue a break.”
I smile, thinking about how happy Jason and Patrick look now. Before they went on break, Jason would have me drop him off at Patrick’s so his truck was parked at our place every night. He doesn’t do that anymore.
It helps that Patrick’s house is set back from the road and the neighbors aren’t that close, but they’re no longer trying to actively prevent people from finding out.
“Okay, but have you taken a break?” Charlie asks, bringing my focus back to him.
I swallow hard, and his eyes track my Adam’s apple. I’ve noticed he does that a lot. His eyes make their way back to mine, and…fuck, that is a lot of good-looking coming in my direction.
“I spent a good deal of my teens and early twenties on a break, so I think it’ll be a while before I need another one,” I say with a dry laugh.
Charlie furrows his brows. “You do know that being in a state of active addiction isn’t a break, right?”
I shrug. “Yeah, but I spent a lot of time depending on other people. Now that I’m making my own money and living on my own, taking a break feels a little…dangerous.”
He nods. “It’s like if you take a break, then everything else catches up with you.”
“Exactly.”
Tapping his fingers to his lips, he stifles a grin.
“What?” I ask, my anxiety sending up flares like a ship lost at sea.
“You said you live on your own. I thought the story you and Jason are telling is that y’all live together.”
I scrunch my nose. When Jason and I talked about the Patrick situation, I agreed to be discreet but told Jason I wouldn’t lie if I’m ever asked a direct question. Rigorous honesty is one of the cornerstones of my sobriety, and I won’t compromise on that.
Charlie grins, and it shows in the lines around his eyes, his skin tanned from working in the sun. Yeah, he definitely prefers to smile.
He must see the panic in my eyes because he holds up a hand. “I’m just giving you a hard time. I think it’s funny that they’re trying to act like no one knows when nearly the whole town has figured it out. For what it’s worth, pretty much everybody is on board with them being together.”
I throw my hands in the air. “That’s exactly what I’ve told them. Why not just come out? I mean, Jason and I came out so we could stop living lies. Why keep doing this whole lie of omission thing, especially when everybody already knows it’s a lie?”
Charlie snorts, laughing at me until he sees my expression.
“Sorry. I’m really not laughing at you. I just…a fair amount of my work is investigative. Which means I’m often asking people for answers they don’t want to give me. Except…every once in a while, there’s someone who just really wants to tell their story. That’s you, buddy. I didn’t even ask a damn question, and here you are, giving up all your brother’s business.”
I open my mouth to protest, but nothing comes out because he is totally telling the truth.
“Shut up,” I finally say, snatching a sandwich from the plate.
He chuckles and grabs his own sandwich, and we go quiet for a while.
Once we’ve downed all we can eat, he cocks his head to the side, like he’s observing me and trying to come to some sort of conclusion.
Or I’ve spilled mustard on my shirt, which is completely within the realm of possibility.
“What? Did I get something on me?” I ask, checking my shirt.
“No. I just…it’s been nice running into you this last week. Even if you did flee from me at the Walmart the other day.”
“I did no such thing.”
He raises a brow at me, and I remember my promise to be unfailingly honest in all things.
“Fine. I just…” I pause to look at him, and he seems like he might be open to whatever I have to say. “I know I’m not your favorite person, and I was just giving you space.”
Scratching his neck, he leans forward. “We laid the whole ‘not your favorite person’ to rest after Sunday dinner. After that, I thought our little exchange over the arsenal of condoms and lube you were carrying around the pharmacy took us to the next level.”
My ears practically incinerate, and I catch the amused arch of his brow. “Shut up,” I say again, scowling. Honestly, I just want to melt into the concrete right now.
And I can’t tell if he’s torturing me, flirting with me, or both.
Shifting back, he switches gears, throwing me off balance. Again.
“Are you coming out to the barn-raising tomorrow?”
Needing something to fidget with, I grab the sugar caddy and realize some packets have been emptied and folded into brightly colored origami cranes. Whoever did this must have a great eye for detail. Or a worse fidgeting habit than I do.
“Um, yeah. Sam and Desi totally bullied me into it. But we’ll only drop off some supplies, and then we’ll get out of your way as quickly as possible.”
He taps the table until I meet his amused eyes.
“Justin, you don’t have to hightail it out of there on my account. You know Sam and Desi don’t do anything small, so it’s going to be a whole thing. There’s going to be breakfast and coffee, and you’re welcome to stay and participate. I mean, obviously, y’all are very busy, so if you’ve got work to do, don’t worry about it. But I want you to know that you’re welcome. Genuinely welcome.”
I bite my lower lip, unreasonably pleased by his invite and a little turned on, but that’s my stupidity trying to surface. I nod. “Then, uh, yeah. Jason has to take care of the store, but I’ll be there tomorrow.”
He drops the amused expression in exchange for a genuine smile, and I go a little breathless.
“I do appreciate it. And I appreciate the donations you and your brother are making toward the build. You didn’t need to do that. I mean, you were there fighting the fire.”
I shrug. “It’s not like we helped that much, considering it was a loss.”
That line appears between his eyebrows again. “You keep acting like what you did was no big thing. Even if we couldn’t save my place, the fire didn’t spread any farther. You showed up. That’s what was important.”
I grab the Splenda origami crane and start to pull it apart, avoiding eye contact. He leans forward and grips my wrist until I look up at him. “I’m serious. I know I haven’t been acting like the most grateful person in the world, and the whole thing outside of the meeting was…whatever. Again, I’m sorry about that. But truly, I am grateful for the help your brother and you gave me. So there is no obligation to come at all. But I’d be happy to see you there.”
I hate it when he apologizes for what happened outside of the meeting. I’ve jacked off a shameful number of times, reliving every bite of pain and eye-rolling pleasure.
I gulp, willing my dick to cooperate. “Okay.”
He pats my hand and then stands to leave, walking away. I flex my fingers, the heat of his touch traveling up my arm.
Nacho comes sauntering back right after Charlie leaves, smirking. I have a feeling he didn’t go to the store but instead sat in the air conditioning while spying on us. Asshole.
Thankfully, he keeps his trap shut, and we finish up the wall a few hours later. I’m grateful because I’ve got an appointment with my trusty dildo, a fresh Charlie fantasy on my mind.
After saying goodbye to Oliver and Sandy, I race home, tossing my shit on the floor, disrobing as I make my way back to the shower. I spent all afternoon thinking of Charlie’s sweet words and rough touch.
I think about his hands on my body, finding those places that drive me insane while hurriedly stroking into me, making me beg for release.
I spend a few seconds opening myself with my lubed-up fingers before sliding back onto the cock I’ve suctioned to my shower wall.
I push back harder and harder, needing him to fill me, needing his strong hand on my cock as he gently fucks me from behind. I imagine his warmth flooding me, and the thought pushes me over the edge. I bring my hand to my cock, thrusting between my hand and the dildo.
My orgasms can be stunted a little from the antianxiety meds, but nothing is holding this one back. I finish, slightly embarrassed by my physical needs, wishing I knew where to put all this revived emotion for the guy who swore to hate me but seems hell-bent on being kind.