Chapter 20
Music plays through the speakers as Marcus starts the car up, and he glances at me as he pulls away from the curb.
“I was serious, angel. Did she give you a hard time?”
I shake my head, staring out the window as I try to organize my thoughts. “No, but she’s not willing to back down from this marriage idea. She wants to fucking win this thing, and she seems to think the way to do it is through you.”
Marcus grunts, drumming against the steering wheel with his fingers. As I sort through my strange, heavily loaded conversation with Victoria by the pool, her last words stick in my mind.
She saved Marcus’s life. Just like I did.
She claims she doesn’t want his heart, and Marcus seems to hate her. But his obsession with me began the night I stepped in front of those bullets for him. Will he fall for Victoria the same way?
My stomach twists into a tight, painful ball at the thought, and my hand curls into a fist. Marcus doesn’t miss the movement.
His gaze cuts to me, worry and suspicion in his eyes. “What? What else did she say?”
I lick my lips. I shouldn’t even go down this road, but that doesn’t stop my mouth from opening and words from falling out. “How is Victoria that much different than me? She saved your life too. Aren’t you grateful for that?”
Marcus slams on the brakes so hard that my entire body jerks forward. He throws an arm out, catching me at the same moment the seatbelt tightens across my chest. The tires screech as he pulls sharply to the side of the road, then he cuts the engine. We’re several blocks away from Victoria’s house, but nowhere near Theo’s yet.
I glance over at him, and when my gaze meets his, my breath catches.
There’s something almost wild in his eyes, something violent and unrestrained. He unclips his seatbelt and leans over, palming the back of my neck and pulling me toward him until we’re nearly nose-to-nose.
“You think I’m gonna fall in love with Victoria.”
It’s not a question. It’s like he reached inside my brain and plucked the words out of the darkest corner there.
I shrug, my lungs still struggling to draw in air under the crushing force of Marcus’s presence. “You stalked me for two and a half years because I saved your life. You were obsessed with me for no other reason than that. And now Victoria’s done the same thing.”
“Wrong.” His fingers dig into my neck, and I can feel his hand trembling a little, vibrating from whatever emotions roil inside him. “You are nothing like Victoria. And I will never, ever want her.” He leans closer, resting his forehead against mine as his mesmerizing eyes overtake my vision. “She used my life as a bargaining chip. She blackmailed me. You stepped in front of three bullets for a stranger, a man you didn’t even know. You risked your life for me, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to understand.”
“Understand what?” I breathe.
“How you’re so fucking good.” He slides his hand through my hair, reaching up with his other to grasp my head between them.
I huff a little laugh, shaking my head as much as his grip allows. I’ve stopped trying to convince myself that I ended up in front of those bullets that night by accident, that some part of me didn’t know exactly what I was doing. But no matter what Marcus says, that doesn’t make me a saint. It doesn’t make me an angel.
“I’m not good,” I say.
“Yes, you are.” His voice is hard, almost angry, as if he can’t believe I don’t see what he sees. “You’re perfect, Ayla. Perfect for me.”
Pulling me closer, he crushes his lips against mine, kissing me hard enough to bruise both of our lips.
It reminds me of the first time he kissed me, and the barely restrained violence in his touch that day. As if he wanted me so badly that nothing was ever good enough, our bodies never close enough.
The deep craving inside of me flares to life, ignited by his touch, and our tongues tangle as we kiss wildly. When we finally break apart, Marcus doesn’t release his grip on my head, and I get the feeling he never wants to let go. That part of him resents every minute he has to spend outside the little bubble that exists between us in moments like these.
I never understood all-consuming love before—the kinds of stories where people would rather die than lose each other. The kinds where they burn the whole world down with their love.
But I think I do now.
“Angel,” Marcus rasps, his fingers sliding through my messy dark hair. “I followed you since that night, even though I knew I fucking shouldn’t, because I had to know what was inside you. I had to know what made you do that, what made you do… anything. What made you tick. And everything I learned? Every little piece of you I discovered? Instead of satisfying me, it just made me want more. I still want more. I want every fucking piece of you that you’ll give me, and I don’t care if it makes me selfish. I’m never giving them back.”
“I don’t want them back.” I reach up to cup his face with my hand, tracing the chiseled lines of his cheekbone and jaw. “They’re yours. I’m yours.”
A slow smile spreads across his face, and the tension drains from his grip. He kisses me again, this one soft and deep and lingering. When he draws back, he lets out a breath. “Don’t ever think you’re like her,” he murmurs. “You’re better than her. You’re better than me and Ry and Theo. You’re better than anyone I’ve ever met.”
I think he’s underestimating himself and his friends and overestimating me, but I don’t really care. Not when he’s looking at me the way he is right now.
“I want to help you find your brother,” he says suddenly.
My eyebrows shoot up, and I draw back a little in surprise. “What?”
“I said I’d help you before all this shit went down.” He releases his grip on my head, trailing his fingers through my hair before winding a lock around his knuckle. “I still want to do that. I hate that I haven’t been able to already.”
“Marcus, it doesn’t matter right now.” I shake my head, my brows furrowing. “We need to figure out how to keep you guys from getting killed in this game—find a way for you to end it and win. Then we can talk about finding my brother.”
He presses his lips together stubbornly. “I can do both. If something happens to me again, I’m not leaving you with an unfulfilled promise. With empty words.”
“I don’t need—”
He cuts me off with a finger to my lips, and there’s a moment of silence before he says, “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love like that, angel. I want to help you if I can. Please.”
His sister.
The knowledge beats against my chest, but I keep the words trapped behind my lips. That’s something I only know because Ryland and Theo told me, back when none of us were sure Marcus was even alive. It’s not something Marcus himself told me, which makes it feel like it’s not really mine to have.
“They told you, didn’t they?” His voice is quiet, the earth and air of his irises soft.
I bite my lip, suddenly afraid that the words escaped despite my effort to contain them, and Marcus smiles.
“I can see it in your eyes,” he murmurs. I blink in surprise, and his smile widens. Then his expression grows serious again. “I’m glad they told you. I should’ve told you myself when I had the chance.” He brushes a kiss over my lips, his touch featherlight. “I want you to have me too, angel. Every bit of me you want.”
I can’t help it. I palm the back of his head and pull him closer, straining against my seatbelt a little as I kiss him back hard. Whatever animalistic, wild thing exists inside him must exist inside me too, because there’s something fierce in my voice as I speak against his lips.
“Everything. I want everything.”
By the time Marcus starts the car back up and drives us the rest of the way back to Theo’s place, I feel like we’ve both purged the toxic effects of our visit to Victoria’s house. He spends the drive telling me about Alexis, and I listen with rapt attention, soaking up every word he says.
I learn as much about him as I do about her in the stories he tells, and the picture he paints is of a little boy fiercely protective of his sister, one who got her into trouble often but always found a way to get her out of it, and who lost a piece of himself when cancer claimed her.
The way his features soften as he speaks of her makes my chest ache in a pleasantly painful way.
I wish she was still alive.
I wish she could’ve seen the man her brother became, and I wish she could’ve been there for him when he got roped into this fucking game, sold out by his parents in the pursuit of wealth and power.
I wish I could’ve met her.
When I tell Marcus that after he pulls into Theo’s garage, he gets a strange look on his face. Then he leans over and kisses me, a gentle press of his lips.
“Me too. She would’ve loved you, angel.”
He helps me out of the car, and we head inside the house. Theo and Ryland both look up when we enter the kitchen, and I get the feeling they’ve been waiting for us. I know I would be if either of them had gone to Victoria’s house. With the way things stand right now, being apart from any of these men makes me feel antsy and on-edge, as if they might vanish into thin air unless I keep them close at all times.
“Well?” Theo stands up from the stool he was perched on, his blue-green eyes lighting up.
“What happened?” Ryland stands too, although he looks more wary than Theo, as if he’s expecting bad news.
Marcus and I go over our entire visit to Victoria’s house, and I repeat what I told him in the car, elaborating on my conversation with her now that we’re all together.
When I finish, Theo drags a hand through his hair, sending the blond strands into disarray.
“Huh. She thinks Gabriel and Michael are the weak spots, huh? I guess we could go after them one by one. Maybe even play them against each other. If their families are being edged out by this Viper guy, whoever he is, they might be willing to cut a deal if we promise them protection once the game ends.”
“I’m surprised Luca hasn’t dealt with the guy already,” Ryland grunts. “Not a single damn thing happens in this city without him finding out about it, so he’s gotta know there’s a new player on the scene.”
“Maybe he’s planning on leaving it for his successor to deal with.” Theo shrugs, then snorts. “Isn’t that the benefit of retiring? Letting someone else deal with all the bullshit that used to be your problem?”
“Well, either way, the threat the Viper poses to the Morello and Saviano families gives us the opening we need,” Marcus says. “We need to talk to one of them, make a deal, and try to break up their alliance—for good, this time.”
“Which one? Michael or Gabriel?” I glance between the three men, eyebrows lifted.
“Gabriel,” Theo answers immediately.
“Why?”
“Because Michael’s an asshole.” Ryland grimaces. “Well, they’re both assholes, but Gabriel’s at least smart enough to consider a deal that might benefit him.” He glances at Marcus. “We should do more digging before we set up a meeting with him. See if we can find out anything about this Viper dude. I’d never heard of him until today.”
“Yeah.” Marcus nods, then winces.
“We’ll do it,” I say firmly, gesturing between myself, Ryland, and Theo. “You’re going back to bed.”
Marcus grabs the waistband of my jeans and drags me toward him, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Angel, the only way you’re getting me back in bed right now is if you strip naked and get in first.”
Heat pools low in my belly, but I wriggle out of his grasp and step back. “No. You need actual sleep. I know our injuries were different, but I also know what it’s like to survive three gunshots. It’s not the kind of thing you just brush off, no matter how lucky you were.”
I’ve been trying to keep my worry for Marcus under control, pushing it aside to deal with the other issues facing us, but as it comes surging to the surface, I can hear the strain in my voice.
He must hear it too, because the heated amusement vanishes from his face. He pulls me toward him again, but this time it’s to wrap his arms around me, tucking me against his chest.
“Okay. I’ll go rest,” he murmurs into my hair. He presses a kiss to my temple, his voice a rough whisper as he adds, “Thank you, angel. For caring.”
I let myself cling to him for a moment, careful to avoid the wounds on his back.
I do care. It scares me a little how much I care.
It’s utterly terrifying to realize that my heart now exists outside my own body.
But I meant what I told him in the car.
It belongs to him now. It belongs to Ryland and Theo.
And I don’t want it back.