SWNOVELS Sweet Regret: Chapter 53
I open the front door in silence, wanting to surprise Bristol and Jagger. I also want to rush in, wrap my arms around them, and never let go.
Talk about how quickly life changes.
A part of me wants to call out. To announce I’m home. To get the fanfare that comes with it. Something I’ve never experienced before.
The other part of me wants to walk in quietly and surprise them. To see the looks on their faces when I do. To make it about them and not about me.
I saw the worry in Bristol’s eyes the other day. The fear that I was going to run. If she only knew the only place I wanted to run was back to her.
I set my stuff down in the entryway and move quietly into the great room. My feet falter when I see Jagger. He’s sitting at the kitchen counter with a partially built Lego set in front of him. His brow is furrowed as he reads the instructions.
My entire body fills with a love like I’ve never known before.
How could I fear that I’d ever treat a child like my father did me? I don’t understand how that’s even possible when I look at him. I love him. It’s an insane concept considering the short amount of time we’ve known each other, but I do.
“Jagg,” I whisper and catch him in the hug he gives when he launches himself at me.
I hold on. I breathe him in. I love on him in a way my father never did to me.
What’s with this dad shit and getting emotional?
“You’re back.” He leans back and looks at me, arms still around my neck.
“I am.” He studies me as if he’s making sure I look the same. “Where’s your momma?”
“Shh.” He holds a finger to his lips. “She’s on a Zoom with her professor. I’m supposed to be quiet, and if I am, she’ll give me a treat when she’s done.” I take in the smear of chocolate on his lips. He notices that I do and smiles sheepishly. “I might have already snuck one.”
“So I noticed.” I laugh and lift him up and set him on the counter in front of me so we can be pseudo eye to eye. “But I’m glad she’s on the Zoom because I wanted to talk to you about something, man to man.”
“You do?” He sits a little straighter. “Even before you see Momma?”
“Even before I see your mom.” I rest my hands on the tops of his knees.
“You’re not leaving again, are you?”
“No,” I say immediately. “I’m here. I’m back. And Jagg, buddy? I’m ready to handle all of your awesomeness.”
The words are out before I can stop them, but the minute they are, I wonder how his young mind will compute them. Will he realize I’m his real dad? Or will he understand that I’m just a man making a choice . . . and I choose him?
His eyes widen and his lips purse. “Does that mean we get to live together? Like all the time?”
I chuckle and reach out to ruffle his hair. “Well, that’s what I needed to talk to you about. You see, you’ve been the man of the house for seven years now. I need to ask you if you think it would be okay if I shared those duties with you.”
“Really?” His cute nose scrunches up and his chest puffs out.
“Really. I love your mom an awful lot. I have for a long time. And—”
“Do you think you could love me too?” His bottom lip trembles and my heart all but shatters.
“What I was going to say, Jagg, is that I already love you too.”
A tentative smile spreads as he blinks back his tears. He whispers, “I already love you too but felt silly saying it.”
I pull him against me and just hold on. His little hands press against my back and his warm breath hits my chest. “Don’t ever feel silly telling someone you love them.” I press a kiss to the top of his head.
Did my dad ever do this to me? Did he ever tell me he loved me?
It doesn’t matter, Vin.
This is what matters. Jagg is what matters. Doing it right this time is what matters.
“What do you say?”
He looks up at me with eyes identical to mine. “You’d have to marry her, you know.”
I throw my head back and laugh. “That’s the plan, buddy. That’s most definitely the plan.”
“Jagger? You okay? I heard . . .”
Bristol stops in the hallway when she sees me standing there. Her hair is piled on top of her head. Her face has the barest hint of makeup. Her skin is golden from the sun.
She’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.
And then she’s jogging toward me, jumping in my arms, and wrapping her legs around me. I stagger backward from the force of her momentum, my grunt making Jagger giggle, but welcome every single inch of her clinging to me as if she thought she’d never see me again.
For a man who likes to wander, I’ve finally found the one thing that makes me want to stay put. To settle.
“You’re here,” she says, her face nuzzled against the curve of my neck, her lips moving against my skin as she speaks. “You came back to us.”
My hand is in her hair as I breathe in everything about her. This is the shortest amount of time we’ve ever been apart and yet it feels like it’s been for-fucking-ever.
“I told you I would.” She lowers her legs and my hands are on her face, brushing loose strands of hair away. I brush my lips against hers, the sob in her throat making my chest swell.
If Jagger weren’t sitting here watching us, I’m pretty sure the kiss would turn into us stripping out of our clothes and frantically fucking on the kitchen counter.
“I know you did, but . . .” She shrugs sheepishly and blinks back tears.
“Momma, you’re not supposed to cry when you’re happy.”
“I know, baby. I know.”
“He hasn’t even told you the good part yet,” Jagger says.
“What good part?” Bristol eyes me.
I laugh and shake my head at Jagger. “You’re stealing my thunder here, Jagg.”
He shrugs. “Then tell her.”
“Vince?” Bristol asks.
“So I did this thing while I was gone, Shug.”
“What type of thing?” Her eyes narrow.
“I bought us a house in Los Angeles.”
Bristol blinks rapidly as she tries to take in what I just said. “What do you mean, you bought a house?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Six bedrooms. Four baths. A big yard with an incredible pool and view of the city. A detached granny flat for when either of your parents want to stay over. A house. Something for us to start new in.”
“That sounds like a palace, not a house.” Laughter bubbles up in her throat as Jagger sucks in a breath.
“You told me we always strike the match but then it burns out. I figure, a house is made of wood. Wood is considered kindling. So this time when we strike the match, we have enough to keep it burning for a lifetime.”
“You’re serious?”
“I’m serious.” I run my hands down her sides and link my fingers with hers. She glances over to Jagger, who has his hands clasped over his mouth in excitement.
“Buddy?”
“He’s ready for my awesomeness, Momma.”
She chokes over another sob and looks at me. “That’s the best way I could tell you that this is real,” I murmur and brush my lips to hers again, reveling in their softness. In the moment as a whole.
“You sure?” she asks cautiously.
“I’ve never been surer of anything. I’ve let you walk away one too many times in my life. You’ve let me, too, and for damn good reasons. But not this time. Not ever again.”
“You’re putting roots down,” she whispers.
I nod. “The only person I’ve ever wanted to put them down with is you. Is with Jagger. Are you ready to strike that match with me?”
“I’ve never wanted anything more.”