(Sur)real

The tense silence remained after Gabby’s announcement that Jim was clear of the Urbat but that Gregory was no longer with them. Whoever Jim and Gregory were, they seemed pretty important given the group’s reaction.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said softly to Winifred, masking the pity and sorrow I wanted to feel.

“Thank you,” Winifred said. “Gabby, if it’s safe, can you find us a place where we can stop for the night?”

“Sure,” Gabby said. “There’s a town a ways to the south that looks good. Maybe another hour or two. I’ll text Michelle.”

“Good,” Winifred said.

I could feel her gaze on me. I wasn’t unaware of their vague conversations about where we were going and understood that Winifred, and probably the rest, didn’t trust me. Not that I blamed them. Blake had hurt so many in his reach for power and control and would continue to do so until the end. That I’d lived with him for most of my life but couldn’t tell these people anything significant about his plans hadn’t endeared me to anyone. Yet, their feelings toward me changed nothing.

“Blake needs to be stopped,” I said, looking out the window. “Soon.”

“How do we do that?” Winifred asked.

“Complete the Judgement. The dreamer has the answer to that, even if she hasn’t dreamed it yet.”

“That’s just fucking ducky,” Bethi mumbled.

No one said anything more, and I hesitated to again bring up the need to decide the direction of our Judgement first. Blake had pushed them all so much already. If I did the same, they would trust me even less. And, I needed their trust.

For the next two hours, we traveled in silence. It was something that I was very used to, but a small part of me had hoped it would be different when I joined my sisters.

Bethi slept frequently, usually waking with a curse. Luke would murmur assurances to her; she would calm then sleep again. I didn’t envy her gift. I didn’t envy any of our gifts. But, I did envy Bethi’s connection with Luke. And Gabby’s with Clay. Although those two never spoke, he would turn often to look back at her. What would it be like to have someone honestly care about me, not just because of the role I would play in the Judgement?

Courage, the echo of the Lady’s whisper brought my attention to the Others. I forced my mind away from thoughts of caring mates and waited for our next stop.

When the vehicle finally parked, Bethi woke up.

“About time,” she said, reaching for the door.

I sat still, waiting for the rest to leave first. The grey swirls outlined the door and the people as they hopped out of the car but not the floorboard or the ground. I would have to try to judge the distance for myself. Before I could move to get out, another person came to stand beside the door. Based on the angle of her face, she was watching me.

“Can I help you?” a female voice asked. It took a moment to place it with a name.

“Thank you, Charlene. I think I can manage, though.”

I gripped the side of the door, just in case, and slowly stepped out. My toes hit the ground an inch sooner than I anticipated, and the door saved me from stumbling. Still, Charlene reached out to steady me. Her offer hadn’t been an empty, polite gesture after all but one of true caring.

“Thank you,” I said.

“It’s no problem. Can I walk with you?” she asked.

“Sure. Is this a paved parking lot?”

“It is.” She wrapped her arm through mine, and we slowly walked to the entrance of a building. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop myself from enjoying the simple contact.

“You’re different from the rest of us,” Charlene said. “Not just your eyes. When I touch the other girls, things happen. Michelle sees a white room filled with images of the future. Bethi sleeps. Gabby sees her sparks better. And each time, it seems to drain me. But not with you. What happens when I touch you?”

I checked the swirls.

“Nothing. Well, you do make me feel more confident that I won’t trip or run into something.”

She chuckled.

“Why are you different?”

“Probably because my purpose is different,” I said honestly.

“What’s your purpose?” she asked.

“I’d rather wait until we’re all together to talk about it.”

“Fair enough. Michelle and Emmitt are getting room keys. Would you mind staying in a room with Winifred?”

Winifred. Their unspoken leader. I understood what they all were thinking. Keeping me close would ensure their safety if I turned out to be a threat.

“I wouldn’t mind at all,” I answered.

We approached the rest of the group who waited just outside the entrance door. Three people stood slightly apart from the majority. The largest of the three staying protectively close to a smaller person. Charlene steered us toward them.

The smaller person moved a lot. Just little bits of movement that the Others picked up with their swirling presences.

“I don’t know who I’m with if I don’t hear your voices,” I said when we stopped.

“It’s Winifred, Carlos, and Isabelle,” Isabelle said. “I have to say, you are a relief. You’re almost like Carlos. A pleasant void of emotion. Not even Winifred has managed to cap it off that well.”

I turned my head slightly toward Carlos, the larger person. Keeping everything hidden took years of practice and usually stemmed from some kind of desperate need.

“You must have had a very strong motivation for keeping what you feel hidden,” I said to him.

“Winifred told us about werewolves living with you,” he said, not acknowledging my comment. “Females taken when they were cubs. Did you know a Sophia?”

It surprised me to hear the name of the oldest female werewolf who had still lived at Blake’s complex, but I kept that surprise carefully bottled away.

“I did. I wasn’t allowed to see the werewolf women. But she was pregnant and felt better when she walked. I ran into her twice. She was very close to giving birth before all of this happened.”

“Pregnant.” Pain filled his voice with that one word.

Isabelle staggered slightly, as if hit, and gripped Carlos.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately.

“What was that?” she asked. “What happened?”

“Just something from the past.”

“Who was she to you?” I asked Carlos.

The entrance door opened and two more joined the main group who listened to us. Everyone waited for his answer.

“She was my sister.”

Charlene gasped. Isabelle wrapped her arms around Carlos. Another man came over. Everyone started asking questions. Why hadn’t Carlos told anyone? How long had he known he had a sister? What happened to her? Did I know how to find her?

“She died,” Carlos said. “I felt her link disappear just after we left New York.”

“Link?” Sam said. “You’re not an Elder. Links only happen with Mated pairs and Elders.”

“And twins,” Winifred said, her voice soft and filled with pain.

As much as I truly felt sorry for Carlos and Sophia, I knew more grief would come to all of us if we didn’t hurry.

“Perhaps we can discuss this inside?” I said.

“Yes,” Winifred agreed.

Michelle started handing out keys.

“Everyone should meet in our room,” Charlene said, her hand on Carlos’s arm. “I’ll order all of us something to eat since we missed dinner.”

That statement almost made me cringe. Not because I wasn’t hungry—the snack bar Winifred had given me was long since digested—but because every minute we wasted meant more suffering. How long had it been since Blake called Frank back into his office? Two days and seven hours? A little more maybe. I purposely tried not to think about it or what would happen when my time was up.

“Could I speak to the Judgements alone, first?” I asked.

The Others showed how Winifred and Charlene exchanged looks.

“Why do we have to go through this every time?” Bethi said irritably. “Talking to people alone shouldn’t be this big of a deal. Yes, Olivia. We’ll all talk privately.”

Bethi moved to my side and took my arm. She also plucked something from Winifred’s hand.

“What?” she said. “I just spent the last two hours being burned and skinned alive. Are you going to do something worse? If not, let’s just get our shit done.”

Although I appreciated her sentiment, her angry tone worried me. Luke, too, apparently.

“Bethi, luv—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Isabelle said. “Come here you little crack head. Time for your next fix.”

Bethi immediately released me and walked to Isabelle. The woman put a hand on Bethi’s arm. A moment later, Bethi sighed.

“Thanks. I needed that.”

“I could tell,” Isabelle said. “Let’s go inside and hurry up this talk so Carlos and I can spar.”

Isabelle nudged Bethi forward. I carefully followed, relieved when Charlene once again looped her arm through mine.

“Thank you,” I said.

“I don’t want you to fall.”

We made our way down the hallway, and Bethi opened a door, stepping aside so we could enter. Winifred continued walking down the hall with the rest of the group.

“You know they’ll still hear us, right?” Bethi said, closing the door.

Charlene led me to the bed and sat beside me. Bethi sprawled out on the opposite mattress. Gabby and Michelle sat on the edge of the other bed, facing me and Charlene. Isabelle paced near the door.

“Yes,” I said, acknowledging Bethi. “It’s not that I don’t want them to hear. I don’t want them to distract us.”

“From what?” Gabby asked.

“From deciding. I don’t think the Lady will share how to complete the Judgement until we know which race we’re going to Judge in favor of. And we need to complete the Judgement as quickly as possible. We’re running out of time.”

“The only logical choice is the werewolves,” Charlene said.

“What’s going to keep the werewolves from taking over just like the Urbat want to do?” Bethi asked.

“Thomas. The Elders.”

“Bullshit,” Bethi said. “They want what’s best for the werewolves, not for everyone. Look, I love Luke. I think he’s amazing, and I trust him. But that doesn’t mean I trust his whole race. Don’t forget I have lifetimes of history floating around in my head. There’s a reason humans were given the initial Judgement.”

“Yes,” I said. “They were weak and needed protecting. They aren’t weak anymore, and the three races are far out of balance. We cannot rule in favor of the humans again.”

“And we can’t rule in favor of the Urbat,” Michelle said. “That would be suicide for the other two races, giving them what they want.”

“So, we’re saying it has to be the werewolves, then,” Gabby said.

Bethi snorted and rolled to her side.

“I disagree. I don’t think the power of humanity outweighs that of the werewolves. And even if it did, fine. Let them have more power. They need it to keep everything furry from going on a killing spree.”

“I’ll admit I’m on the fence,” Isabelle said. “I know Bethi just acknowledged that all those past lives in her head are clouding her view of the present, but I’ve seen the power in the werewolves. What would stop them from going on a human killing spree if we named them captain of this sinking ship?”

“Please listen,” I said. “We cannot Judge in favor of the humans. The balance is already too far in their favor. A balance must be maintained, or the world will burn.”

Bethi exhaled heavily. “That’s what the Lady told me, too. Showed me even.”

“And she will keep showing you death and devastation until you understand.”

“Fuck that. Fine. Werewolves. Now what?”

“Just like that?” Isabelle asked.

“No,” I said. “I think we all need to truly believe in our choice. I know we cannot Judge for the Urbat or humans. I don’t know what it will mean for this world to Judge in favor of the werewolves. It worries me, but not as much as what will happen if we try to Judge in favor of the other two.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“I honestly had expected you to want us to choose the Urbat after hearing you call Blake Father,” Michelle said. “How did they find you?”

I thought back to my earliest memory. To that moment in the parking garage when Blake approached the woman and me.

“I was young. Maybe four years old. I’d just left a doctor’s office and saw Blake across the street. He stood out from the other people. I don’t know if it was the way I looked or my scent, but he followed us into the parking garage. The woman with me stopped by her car when he called out. He killed her and took me.”

“He killed your mother?” Charlene asked in shock.

“I don’t know if that was my mom. I don’t really remember her. Just him. For a long time, I thought him finding me was by chance,” I said. “But I’m not sure anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Bethi asked.

“You’ve said that I’ve died early in every life, right?” I said.

“Yes. Every time. Most of them you’re not even a year old.”

“I think the Lady let the one person who would keep me alive, find me.”

“Holy shit,” Bethi said softly. “I didn’t really like her before. I like her even less now. She has to be the sickest person on the planet to push this kind of shit on us.”

“I think she’s that desperate. How many times have we been born this cycle?” I asked.

Bethi was quiet a moment. “Just once.”

“She planned this. All of this. Strength, being born first, to fortify the werewolves by giving them sons and a home to protect any future potential mates. One of your Elders finding Gabby before the Urbat could. Gabby, who would have made it so easy to find the rest of us. And, sending me to live with the Urbat so I could tell the rest of you that, as the race they are right now, there is nothing redeemable about them. She knows the Judgement needs to be made, and I think she’s helping influence us to make the right choice the best way she can.”

“If she wants to help us, she should just off Blake and make the Judgement herself.”

I shook my head and thought of the shadow world. “There are rules.”

“What do you mean?”

I hesitated, not sure what to tell them now. What wouldn’t send them running or cause them to dismiss everything I say? I watched the Others swirl around the women in the room, creating my grey view of our world.

“Would you believe me if I told you there aren’t just three races?” I asked.

“Yep,” Bethi said. “Too much crap has come true to not believe something at this point.”

Michelle and Gabby made sounds of agreement.

“There are three races here, but this world touches another where a different race lives. I don’t know what they are. I call them the Others. They kind of float around us, always moving, surrounding people and things. Like brushing up against them. That’s how I can see some things. They outline this world for me. When they stop moving, I’m truly blind.”

“I thought you said they always moved,” Bethi said.

“There have been times they’ve stopped. When something really big happens. Like when you revealed the existence of Urbat and werewolves to the world.”

I focused on Bethi’s shape. “They are the reason we need to maintain balance here. If we don’t, they get to live here.”

“Based on all this world burning crap the Taupe Lady keeps telling me, I’m guessing these ‘Others’ are pretty bad.”

“Yes and no. They want what we have. Real bodies. A way to interact with our surroundings. I think the Lady is one of them. She can control them. Sort of. And they tend to listen to her.”

“This is making my brain hurt. If she’s one of them and they want to live here, why would she want us to maintain the balance? And, that wouldn’t make sense anyway. She showed me how we were created. All of us were in her belly, and she touched different women to put us inside them. That was the very first cycle.”

“I can’t pretend to know our history. That’s for you. I can only tell you about the world I see. The Others are around us. Everywhere. All the time. Whenever someone dies, they try to get inside the body. But they can’t without permission. They can hear me and understand me. They know we’re trying to keep the balance so they can’t have our world, but it doesn’t seem to upset them. They help me see when I ask them.”

“Well, I know I’m not the only one creeped out by the idea of an unseen race moving around us in this room. Tone it down, Michelle,” Isabelle said.

“Sorry,” Michelle answered.

“I feel like we’ve gotten off topic,” Gabby said. “I thought we just needed to decide which race to Judge in favor of.”

“We do,” I said. “I wanted you to understand why you truly need to believe in your choice and what waits for this world if we fail this Judgement.”

“Yeah, we get it,” Isabelle said. “Invisible people who will make the world burn. I think we’re all onboard with Judging for the werewolves. Now what?”

“Now we wait for Bethi to dream the rest,” I said.