(Sur)real

Something tickled my nose. I brushed at it and heard a rumbling laugh. Opening my eyes, I lifted my head to look up at Clay.

“How do you feel?” I asked, tiredly. I’d set my phone alarm to wake me every hour so I could check the Urbat movement. Once I verified they hadn’t moved, I’d gone back to sleep. Now, though, it felt like I hadn’t slept at all.

“Good. You look tired.”

“I am. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“I’m sorry I woke you. I need to use the bathroom.” He hadn’t been able to get out of bed because I liked to use him as a human pillow. He loved it, too.

I smiled slightly and rolled away from him. He moved to the side and sat up while he was still partially bent over.

“You don’t look good,” I commented, eyeing the broad, muscled expanse of his back as he stood. “I mean, you do look good. Really good from here, but your stomach…”

He turned toward me, tilting his head and giving me his full attention. I saw his whiskers twitch near his mouth and knew he was smiling at me.

“I’m just being extra careful, in the hopes you haven’t changed your mind.”

“I haven’t changed my mind,” I said, ignoring the blush creeping onto my face. “I won’t. I’m done waiting.”

He groaned and took a step toward me.

I grinned and quickly pointed in the direction he’d originally intended.

“Focus,” I said.

“I’m very focused.” He leaned over and brushed his lips against mine.

I shivered at the contact. Overtired, wanting Clay, and not thinking clearly, I lifted my hand to clutch at him. Instead of gripping him, I hit him in the stitches.

Clay grunted and pulled back.

“Saying stop would have worked.”

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that. I meant to pull you closer.”

His lips twitched again.

“I’ll do closer in just a minute.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You were stitched together just hours ago.”

“If I were human, that might be a problem. It’s not. Are you changing your mind?”

“I’m not. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

He straightened away from me then met my gaze.

“I feel like I’ve waited forever for a yes. I’ll wait longer if you’re not ready. But if you’re ready, I don’t want to wait another minute.”

He kissed my cheek then strode to the bathroom. Watching him, my heart beat rapidly. Were we really doing this? I brought my hands to my flushing cheeks in a slight panic. I hadn’t lied. I was ready. However, I was also nervous as hell.

I heard running water in the bathroom, and I scrambled out of bed. I still wore yesterday’s clothes. Should I change? Should I just strip? My hands shook as I reached for my shirt and chickened out. I’d look stupid standing out here in my bra and underwear.

The water shut off. I all-out panicked and froze like a deer in headlights when the door opened. He took a single step out, froze, and inhaled deeply.

“Gabby…”

Busted.

“You’re not ready.”

“I am,” I insisted. He took another step toward me, and my pulse spiked. “I’m just freaking out big time because I don’t know what to do.”

He came toward me, wrapping me in his arms as soon as he reached me.

“I love you so much it hurts. You don’t need to do anything but let me love you.”

I nodded jerkily, looking up at him.

He lowered his head slowly. My heart felt like it was making every attempt to hammer its way out of my chest. My insides got hot then cold then hot again. Everything felt wrong and right at the same time. Yep, I was panicked and turned on and didn’t know which to let take over.

Just before his lips touched mine, I turned my head away.

“I need to brush my teeth.”

Before he could say anything, I darted from his arms and closed myself into the bathroom.

Come on, Gabby, I scolded myself in the mirror. You’d kissed the hell out of him after Isabelle got you high, and you’d enjoyed every minute of it.

I put some paste on my toothbrush and started scrubbing.

You just need to pretend this is another make out session where he’s going to say no. You can do this.

I ended my pep talk with a rinse then faced the door.

When I opened it, I found Clay right where I’d left him. He had both hands in the pockets of his jeans and looked completely relaxed. I took a step toward him and another. Before I knew it, we stood toe to toe. I shook. Why was I being such a baby?

He watched me for a minute, then turned away and went to the bed. Taking his time, he eased himself down to the mattress. I could tell he hurt.

Lifting his hand, he silently tapped his lips. The gesture made my heart squeeze with bittersweet memories.

Clay was my world, and I’d almost lost him.

“I’m tired of hesitating,” I whispered, moving toward him.

When I reached the bed, I eyed his position and the room on both sides of him. Perfect. It reminded me of our time in that farm house. Taking care, I climbed up and over him, straddling his waist. He didn’t make a sound or move as I settled my weight on his hips.

“Don’t let me hurt you again,” I said.

“You won’t.”

His rough voice made my stomach go wild, and I leaned over to give him a light, teasing kiss. My intention to go slow flew out the window the moment he opened his mouth and his tongue touched mine. This was Clay. My heart. My soul. My Mate.

Careful to keep my weight on his hips and not his chest, I threaded my fingers through his hair and lost myself to the feel of him. Memories of the farm invaded. The way I’d pressed him for more. His desperation to take what I’d offered. I wanted that again.

Slowly, I rotated my hips against his. The friction sent a jolt of need through me. I did it again, making a little sound into our kiss.

He growled, and suddenly I found our positions changed. Hooking my hands around his shoulders, I arched up, giving into the fire that burned me from the inside.

Clay’s mouth left mine, and he nibbled his way down the side of my neck. I shivered at the sensation. When his hand slid under my shirt, my breath caught. He hesitated.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered, giving the side of his head a kiss.

The slow drag of my shirt up over my ribs made me tremble. My skin burned where a finger teased the edge of my bra. The touch of his mouth on my stomach set me on fire, and I burned for more. When he hooked his fingers in the cups and pulled them down, a desperate sound escaped me. The bed shook, but I barely noticed. I wanted more.

Cool air brushed my exposed skin for too long, and I opened my eyes, which I hadn’t realized I’d closed. I met his hungry gaze. Without looking away from me, he slowly lowered his mouth to the valley between my breasts. I could barely breathe at the soft touch of his lips.

His tongue darted out, licking where he’d kissed. He moved just a bit to the right, pressing his lips to the curve of my breast. An ache grew. I knew what he intended as he slowly worked his way to the side toward a part of me that demanded to feel the heat of his mouth. I nearly screamed when he gave me what I craved. His lips grazed the sensitive skin a moment before they closed over the peak. I gripped his hair, needing him to stay there. He obliged. My hips involuntarily bucked with need.

He groaned, and his hands went to my waist while his tongue continue to lick and tease my breast. I quivered when his fingers trailed to the tops of my jeans and stopped at my button. Waves of needs swept through me. I wanted this…him…so much. I lifted my hips again, rubbing against him, encouraging him to keep going.

His fingers fumbled at the fastening for too long, and I reached down to help him, impatient for more. My hand slid wetly against the bared skin of my stomach. Wet?

Jerking my hand back in surprise, I stared at my red fingers.

The button finally released, and Clay began to tug my jeans from my hips. My gaze flew to his head as he slowly started to kiss his way to my other breast. I ached for him to continue, but fear for him had me opening my mouth.

“Clay, wait.”

He growled low and continued to lick his way to my other breast. I gasped as his mouth closed over me and grabbed the sheets for an anchor. The bed shook violently and fur lined Clay’s arms.

I swallowed hard at the signs of his slipping control. We needed to stop, and I knew what to say to make him listen.

“Do I still have a choice?” I asked, hating myself for saying the words.

He stopped and jerked as if I’d slapped him. Lifting his head, he met my gaze. His pupils had fully dilated with his need for me.

“Always.” The rough word and the concern in his gaze almost broke me.

“Clay, I want you. Now and forever. But not like this.”

I lifted my hand to show him the blood. He closed his eyes against the sight and maybe against what he knew I would say next.

“I love you, Clay. And I don’t want you hurt by it.”

I leaned up and kissed him gently to take the sting from my words.

“Reach out to Winifred so she can fix you again. It’s not sexy to bleed all over your partner.”

He fell to the side with a groan.

WINIFRED…

Clay’s mind touched mine as I watched Olivia slowly sit on the bed across from Michelle.

Winifred, I’m bleeding again. I may have torn a few of the stitches.

What happened?

Gabby was finally ready.

Ah. I didn’t say anything further. Instead, I picked up my supply bag.

“I need to check on Clay. Perhaps the two of you would like to see if the hotel offers a breakfast?”

“Sure,” Michelle said, getting out of bed. “I’ll just use the bathroom real quick.”

While Michelle walked to the bathroom, I slipped out the door and hurried down the hall. Gabby opened the door on the first knock. Blood painted the hem of her shirt. She stepped aside and let me in without a word of explanation.

Clay lay on the bed, slightly at an angle. The scent of arousal clogged the air.

“Gabby, honey, Michelle and Olivia are going to check our breakfast options. Perhaps you’d like to go with them?” I said.

“Yeah. Sure. I’m just going to wash up and change real quick.” She hurried to shut herself in the bathroom.

“How many stitches do you think you tore?” I asked Clay, approaching the bed.

“I can’t really feel it.”

I tilted my head in concern until he clarified.

“Other parts hurt worse.”

I patted his shoulder and peeled back the first bandage. Several of the stitches had torn into the skin, but not completely out. The bathroom door opened, and Gabby left with a soft farewell.

Clay sighed but held still as I checked the other gashes, which seemed about the same.

“No more stitches needed. But you need to keep your distance from Gabby for the rest of today. Sam should probably stay with you two tonight, too.”

“You’re killing me.”

I chuckled.

“You’ve been patient for so long. Hold on for a few more days. Try to rest. And avoid cold showers. They’re not good for the stitches.”

He closed his eyes and threw his arms over his face. I left the room and my humor quickly vanished. Clay wasn’t the only male suffering because of a Mate. I walked a few doors down to Jim and Olivia’s room.

When I knocked, Sam answered the door.

“How is he?” I asked, not stepping in.

“He’s fine,” Sam said.

“You need to get it through your thick skull,” Emmitt said from inside. “When you took the oath, you gave up your right to cookies. You can’t think of cookies. You can’t smell cookies. And you sure as hell can’t eat cookies.”

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Jim asked in a bored tone.

“Yes. The only thing that could top this is if you could do something that would get her to kick you in the balls so I can throw a bag of peas at you.”

“Emmitt’s helping distract him,” Sam said.

I nodded and stepped back so he could join me in the hall. His scent tickled my nose as it always did when we were close. An ache started in my chest, and I quickly thought of Jim, Clay, and everyone else under our care.

“Clay ripped a few of his stitches. I think it would be best if you stayed in their room tonight to prevent any further damage. We need him to heal as quickly as possible.”

“I’ll move my things back before breakfast,” Sam said, walking with me toward my room.

When we reached the door, we both stopped.

“What are we doing, Winifred?”

“What do you mean?”

He shook his head slightly.

“All of this. Another werewolf race, six women with irrefutable gifts, two of whom claim they need to do something to maintain a balance between races we didn’t even know existed six months ago, exposing our race to humans…what are we doing? Is this really the best course for us?”

I calmed my mind and listened to my heart.

“It is. You know as well as I do that even with Charlene’s help, our people were barely existing. We couldn’t have continued like that for another fifty years, not when Blake and his kind have been secretly killing families and taking female cubs.

“All those years ago, we needed change and change was forced upon us. I don’t believe that was a coincidence, just like I don’t believe the events of the past year have been a coincidence. I’ll never admit this to Jim,” I said with a half-smile, “but he’s right. There’s a reason for all of this. We just need to figure out what.”

He frowned and looked away, absently rubbing his chest right where mine ached, too. It hurt both of us to be this close; yet, I would change nothing. My heart belonged to my people. The oath demanded that. But we both knew it only beat for Sam.

“I’ll see you at breakfast,” he said before turning away.

Exhaling shakily, I went inside my room to compose myself before joining the others for breakfast. Sam’s question continued to echo in my mind. What were we doing? We weren’t just saving our people; we were saving the world from a threat greater than any we’d knowingly faced before, and these girls were the keys to our survival.

“Don’t doubt yourself now, Sam. I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”