SWNOVELS Chapter 7
After breakfast I was to have a meeting with Innin over my etiquette at the Blue Moon Beautillion. Pili was in attendance, sitting patiently in the ballroom while Innin retaught me how to dance. I kept glancing over at him, where he watched us with interest, as I tried to mirror Innin’s steps. I stepped on his toes more than once, causing him to tighten his grip on my hand and seething at me to focus. I’ve learned it before, I could do it again. Once we finished the steps without any mishaps the first time, Innin added rotation to the mix, and gave me a rundown of tomorrow night’s festivities.
There were to be six Ladies I was to make acquaintances with, he explained. Five of which were from noble lines, while the sixth was the chosen representative of the commoners. He wasn’t overly concerned with the order of when I danced with whom, except I was to dance with Lady Oglin of the commoners first. When I asked him why it was so important she were first, he answered with, “You’re showing those in attendance who you intend to marry.”
Pili spoke from his chair, drawing my attention to him once more. “Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to marry from the nobility?” He quickly added, “If I may ask that,” when Innin trained his eyes on him.
“If it were any other time, yes.” He let me take lead in our dance now that I had the moves down a little better. “There’s been…unrest throughout the Interior due to an overthrowing of Diatessia’s government.” He stopped moving, squeezed my hand tight as his eyes seemed to gloss over. “It was…We…” He cleared his throat, finally letting go of my hand. “We must show the commoners that even with a royal line and nobility, they can raise their statuses through their work and loyalty to the government. We will not ruin ourselves because a few refused to work for their bread.” He placed his hands over my cheeks, thumbs rubbing under my eyes, pulling me into a hug after a few seconds of silence. “I will do whatever it takes to protect you and this country,” he said so quietly I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or making himself feel better.
Pili and I changed places after a few more minutes of practice. Innin told me to get my thoughts together, because if we kept to our schedule, I’d be able to speak to my mother today. I watched Innin teach Pili the same dance he taught me while I figured out everything I wanted to say to my mother. I wasn’t sure what to say to convince her to allow me to travel with Pili. I wasn’t even confident that traveling with him would bring my memory back. But staying here, locked in my room when Innin or someone else couldn’t keep an eye on me, I was sure it wouldn’t help. I’d do whatever Innin or her wanted if they’d let me go with Pili. I’d be content if that were the last thing I ever asked for.
When dance lessons were over, Innin had Pili and I stand next to each other. Back straight, feet slightly apart, hands clasped behind us, and my tail wrapped around my leg. He paced, his tail swishing back and forth. “I’ll be in attendance if either of you need anything. There will be increased security as the House of Xelu has decided to align themselves with the Diatessia’s rebels, please do not make any trouble for me or the knights.” He stopped short, boots squeaking against the wood. “Pili, keep your tribal name a secret, I don’t want a bloodbath on my hands. Ezollen,” he faced me, unfurled his wings, “do you remember how to fly?”
“I can try,” I said. He fixed his gaze on me and I stepped away from Pili to keep from hitting him when I untucked my wings. I asked where I was to go, and in answer, he pointed to the banister attached to the balcony above us. I took a breath, focused on flapping my wings before I even had the notion to figure out lift in my mind. Forward and back, I felt a slight breeze of air whisk past me, getting stronger the longer, the faster I beat them. I started to gain more confidence and jumped, feeling the air under my wings, my feet above the floor.
I needed momentum for my second attempt. I could still remember how to achieve lift, at the very least. I gave myself a bit of a running start, launching myself in the air to move forward and grabbed the top of the banister’s railing. I had a feeling I had never been good at flying. “Grace, Ezollen,” Innin yelled up to me. “Once more, and not like a gymnast.” I asked him to show me as I glided back down to the ground. He laughed, beating his wings a few times before giving a little forward hop. If it weren’t for his large wings flapping in the air, he’d look like he were floating to the balcony, where he sat on the banister, legs crossed, wings outstretched. “Grace.” I tried once more, following Innin’s motions as closely as I could. The muscles in my wings were burning in protest at carrying my weight a second time, and I dipped as I felt myself lose control of them for a moment. I righted myself as quickly as I could, hitting the floor of the balcony with a rather loud thud. “That’ll do,” he said without turning to look at me. “It doesn’t have to be perfect—you were never supposed to be perfect, adequacy is what you excel at.”
I balled my hands into fists on my thighs. I wanted to push him off the railing, but I knew it wouldn’t’ve made a difference. If anything, I’d never get the audience with my mother to convince her. Pili may be let loose in the Interior at best, killed at worst. I bit down hard on my tongue to keep me from saying anything I’d regret later. “You’ll give a speech from up here,” he said, now standing in front of me. “Keep it short, sweet, thank everyone for coming. Call out to Lady Oglin before you glide down to her and offer her your first dance.” I stood, found my resolve and climbed to stand on the banister. I forced my wings to extend, to stay taught, and I fell forward, feeling air catch under my wings once more.
I had aimed for in front of Pili, hoping to time my descent just right that I’d land on my feet and kneel. But perfection wasn’t for me. I misjudged when to start beating my wings to slow me down and ended up knocking Pili on his back when he tried to catch me. I scrambled off him as quickly as I could, heart beating all too fast from what I could only assume was me falling through the air. It certainly wasn’t because his face had been so close to mine, or his hands down by my hips…I shook those thoughts away, helped him up and apologized.
I spent the rest of Innin’s lesson overly aware of Pili’s breathing. I tried my best not to think of it while he told us how we were to address any of the guests we found ourselves in the company of. That I was to stand as straight as I could throughout the entire ball. I wasn’t to make a fool of myself, nor stick to Pili. I was to keep my wings tucked, except for when I gave my speech on the banister, or it was needed while I was in conservation. His final words to me before I was to speak with my mother were that I was allowed two glasses of champagne only tomorrow night.
My mother was still in her bedroom by the time Innin brought me to her. She sat in front of a mirror while a maid brushed out her hair. She had tilted her head just the slightest when Innin opened the door. She dismissed the maid soon after she finished with her hair and turned away from the mirror. Without make-up caking her face, I could make out a faint scar over the bridge of her nose and around her eyes. She had me stand before her, Innin off to the side, and she slide her hands over my face, through my hair, against my horns. My voice stuck in my throat when she had asked what it was I needed to talk to her about. I tilted my head down, knowing it wasn’t something she could see, but still feeling I needed to submit to her. “You want to go off with an Aeces, for a year, while there are people who want you dead?” She practically screamed after I mustered up the courage to ask, to unstick the words in my throat. “Innin, what did you tell him?”
Innin cleared his throat and she turned to face him. “That I wasn’t going to stop him if he managed to convince you.”
“The answer is no,” she said. “He’s safe here, surrounded by knights, by eyes.”
“Mother,” I said quietly, “I don’t like it. I don’t like being caged.” I felt like a child with a knot forming in my throat, tears working their way into my eyes. “What if…What if Innin or some knights came with us? And…And I’ll marry Lady Oglin and I’ll stay i-in the palace forever after.”
I squeezed the fabric of my trousers as she blew air through her teeth. She crossed her arms, closed her eyes for a second or two. “That’s a promise, then?” I told her it was, that I’d sign it with my blood if I had to. “Fine. Innin goes with you, and you listen to him.” She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. “Ezollen, what did I do wrong?” She said under her breath. I felt the few tears I couldn’t hold back fall.