Subject Seventeen: Wraith Among Shadows

My eyes are glued to the screen as I furiously tap away at the keyboard. ‘Lucky Lucy’ is winning the race as I had hoped, but I need to change the odds on the system within the next minute if I want a few hundred quid more. A few more seconds and I’ll bypass the firewall and I can rewrite the data.

The door to my room swings open and Sky marches in. She’s grown out her hair now so it goes a little past her shoulders. She has also straightened it so it looks much sleeker than how it was in her childhood years. Flinging her rucksack on my bed, she marches over to me and lightly hits the back of my head.

“What the hell are you doing?” I say, agitated.

“More like what are you doing?” she spits back.

“What does it look like? I’m fixing the odds of today’s horse race, duh.”

“One day you’re going to get caught and be locked up.”

“You can’t send a fifteen-year old kid to prison, dummy. Worst I can get is juvie. Besides, I’m too good to be caught, aren’t I?”

“So this is why you skipped school? When Haskins finds out it’ll be your luck that's run out.”

“Some friend you are.”

“Shut up, Lewis.”

“Will do, Florence.”

“Don’t call me that…”

“You started it, Sky. Anyways, did you help me out and get me today’s lesson notes?”

Sky stares daggers at me as she pulls out a thick wad of paper from her bag and slams them on my bed. She gets up to leave my room, not giving me a second glance.

“Thanks!” I yell out as she’s halfway through the door. She pauses and looks back at me.

“Did you hear?” she says.

“Hear what?”

“Some scientist in China apparently found a breakthrough in finding a permanent cure for cancer. Something about rewriting genetic codes.”

“And why would I care about that?”

“I just thought that -”

“That what? Because my mum died from it I would give a shit?”

“You can’t bottle it up forever you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, do you want to come with me down to that bet shop? I reckon I’ve done enough to get about six hundred.”

“Stop avoiding the topic. It’s not healthy.”

“I guess you don’t want to come then.”

I stand up and switch off my computer. I close the screen and do a few stretches because I feel a little bit stiff. Sky shakes her head and raises her arms to block the doorway so I can’t get out.

“Are you sure you want to leave it like this?” she says. “You’re fifteen years old now. I think it’s about time you deal with this, don’t you think?”

“And what do you care?”

Sky’s left eye twitches and she flinches a little. Maybe that was too harsh. Then again everything I’m saying is true.

“I’m just trying to help you. I don’t like it when you get like this. You know I’m here for you, right?”

“Oh, and what do you care? You’re probably going to get adopted by that couple who keeps visiting you anyway. They’ve been coming here for months, so you’ll be gone within a fortnight. Here for me? Don’t kid yourself.”

“Is that what you really think? After all this time that’s what you really think?”

“Leave me alone. I’m going to go get my cash. You coming or not?”

“You really think I’m following you after what you just said?”

“Fine. Suit yourself.”

Sky turns around and slams the door in my face as she stomps out. God knows what the hell her problem is. Well, like I said, whatever suits her is best for her. She can do her shit and I’ll do mine.

I throw on my black hoody and zip it up, making sure to put on the hood straight away. In the corner of my room is a small black pouch which I throw on before heading out. I run down the stairs as fast as I can and dash straight out the door. I don’t need Brody or Haskins on my case right now.

After I exit through the front door I kick over one of the pot plants on the lawn. I don’t know why but I’m really pissed off right now. Stupid Florence. Seriously, what the hell is her problem? When did she get all saintly on me? Preaching as if she’s some martyr or as if she knows what is best for me as if she even understands anything. Firstly, what I do with my life is my own business; I’m way too good to get caught. Secondly, what the hell does she know about my family? So what, they found a cure to cancer. And that concerns me how?

Damn Chinese, always pulling ahead in technology and medical research. Even if it concerned me does she really think I could ever get enough cash for something like that? Argh god… Now she’s got me all uptight and thinking about this shit. I make a show out of kicking an empty can on the sidewalk.

I hear a small humming sound off in the distance coming from behind me. It’s gradually growing louder. Must be a drone. Bloody police are too lazy to do their own jobs these days… Always relying on technology. I duck into the nearest alley and lean on the cold stone wall. My foot accidentally enters a puddle which pisses me off even more. Damn. I’ve never been more angry in my life, but for some reason I just can’t pin down the source of my anger. Why am I so frustrated? I got over my parents’ deaths years ago. And it isn’t the first time Sky hasn’t preached to me about my hacking before. So why am I so restless?

The drone passes by and I lift myself up from the wall. Gosh. Damn it all! Argh! That bitch. Why am I so angry? I almost laugh when the thought crosses my mind that it may be because she might leave. Hah. As if that would bother me. When she leaves she’ll just be some girl I knew during my time in care. It doesn’t bother me one bit. Does it?

I push the thought out of my head and keep on walking. I can see the betting shop from here. Screw Sky. Right now I need to focus on getting my money and getting out. Maybe I should step up my game and try hack into something bigger next time. I can't wait till I get good enough to get into government systems. I hear they've got some pretty neat information about that new Temere place that they haven't released to the public yet.

I push open the betting shop door and already I’m repulsed by the smell of cigarettes and alcohol. Can’t people ever use their brains? When will they ever learn that smoking kills them? Damn. If Henshaw hadn’t won the election then Miller would have followed through and outlawed smoking. Bloody useless Henshaw. Way to make our country worse. It is bad enough you’re ruining our alliance with the U.S just because you can’t get your hands on anymore Baltec, but now you’re not even paying attention to the state of the country.

The guy at the counter raises his eyes to look at me when I approach. Other than that he genuinely looks bored, almost as if he couldn’t give two shits about his job. Better for my luck. I pull out my betting slip from my jean pocket and slide it under the counter. He lifts it up and takes a look, marks something with a pen and then reaches for the till. Good, at least I don’t have to use fake I.D today. The one I used last week got burned and I’m down to only one until I get some new ones. The guy takes out a huge wad of notes and prints a receipt and slips it under the counter before waving me away. I show no emotion on my face as I swipe the cash and turn my back to him.

Four… five… six… seven-hundred and twenty pounds. Better than I thought. Still quite a low haul. Maybe I should have put more money on it. I stuff the cash into my pouch and make no hurry to leave. No need to arouse suspicion. Instead I spend a few minutes looking at some of the screens for different games. Arsenal to play Manchester United in three days and Chelsea today. Fat chance they have. They’ve constantly been underperforming for the past few years. Maybe I’ll put money on Chelsea and Manchester. No way I can lose that bet, right?

Turning around, I start to walk out. I push open the door and begin walking back down the street and back to the home. Maybe I’ll buy a few Air Jordans later. I stuff my hands in my pocket as I leave. The sky is starting to darken slightly and a few drops of water fall. British weather. Randomly rains whenever it wants because it just doesn't give two shits. Nice.

I push open the mahogany doors to the home and head straight upstairs. The little kids seem to be in the games room screaming their heads off. Glad to see their having fun. I scale the stairs two steps at a time and go straight towards my room but bump into Edward on the way.

“You’re alive?” he says with a wry smile on his face. “We all thought that since you didn’t come to school you must have locked yourself up in your room and dried up like a zombie.”

“Funny. Get out of my bloody way.”

“Wow. What’s up with you?”

“Do I need to slap your face or are you going to move?”

“Alright. Be a prick then.”

Edward moves out of my way and I continue walking towards my room. I slip inside and quietly close my door behind me. Seriously, why am I so pissed off? I’ve never sworn this much before in my life. It’s all Sky’s fault. I know it is. It is isn’t it?

Huh? Why am I crying? I didn’t even realise when the tears started to build up in my eyes. I can’t control it now and I begin to sob uncontrollably. I try to brush away the tears but they keep on coming and I can’t stop them. Why the hell am I crying?! Because Sky might leave? Argh, I need to stop calling her that. Her name is Florence. It’s time to start growing up. I can’t help but laugh when I remember that she puts the name Sky on all her belongings and even on her tests at school. She really does like it more than her real name, doesn’t she?

I cover my face with my palm. The tears just keep on coming. I really might lose her. I’ve been avoiding it constantly but maybe it is about time I man up and face it. I have to be a man and admit that I love her. What is wrong with me? Seriously… I sound like a kid. I never should have talked to her that way. She is right after all, about everything. About the hacking, about skipping school, about my mum. About everything. I hate to admit it. I really do.

I wipe my face with the back of my hand and stand up. Throwing my pouch under my bed, I walk out of my room and start walking up the next flight of stairs to Sky’s room. As soon as I reach the top of the flight of stairs I half jog to the room right at the end of the hallway. I lift up my hand to knock after I stop right in front of the room but then I have doubts and lower my hand. It takes me a while to gather all the courage I have together. This time I knock on the door.

A few seconds later the door opens and Sky’s face pops up in the small opening. She takes one look at me and attempts to slam the door in my face but I jam the door with my right foot. She looks like she wants to kill me and turns away from me and jumps on her bed when I open the door.

“Can I talk to you?” I say.

“I thought me trying to close the door was an answer.”

“Please?”

“What the hell do you want, Lewis?”

I sigh and sit down in the chair by her desk; opposite her bed. I scratch my cropped hair a little. I cut it just two weeks ago but it’s already grown back to around the bottom of my neck. Argh it’s so annoying. I hate having to keep cutting it.

“Listen,” I say. “I don’t know how best to say this...”

“Oh, how about you start with an apology you little cunt.”

“Woah. You don’t ever usually swear.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

“I’m sorry! Alright?! I’m really sorry! Believe me.”

“You don’t seem like it. You’ve been a real prick lately.”

“I know. It’s just that… well… I don’t know…”

Sky finally looks at me and sits up. She runs her hand through her hair a couple of times before patting the vacant space beside her on the bed. I take the incentive and sit down next to her.

“What’s going on with you?” she says. “You’ve been really distant lately.”

“Listen, Sky. I know you’re right about all the hacking and about the shit with my mum. I just really don’t like talking about it. I really don’t. The way I see it is that even if there is a possible cure for cancer, it doesn’t concern me. They probably developed it using Baltec after Temere emerged. I can’t help but ask where the hell Baltec was when my mum died. Of course I’ve been following the news. I already knew about the breakthrough, but…”

“So why didn’t you talk to me about it? You used to tell me everything you know.”

“We’re not exactly kids anymore, are we?”

“I guess not,” Sky says while laughing a little. “I get it. Fine. You don’t want to talk about your parents’ deaths. Especially not your mum’s. I get it. Sorry for bringing it up.”

“You don’t need to repeat yourself so much.”

“L. Have you ever thought about outside of this place?”

“Huh? What are you on about?”

“I hate to say it, but it looks like the Jeffrey couple might be my foster parents. Or even adopt me. If that happens I’ll have to leave.”

“I know. I don’t want you to go.”

“Come on man. You expect me to stay her till I’m of age? No way. When I said have you thought about life outside here, I mean what do you intend to do when you leave this place?”

I lean back on the bed and look up and the ceiling. She has a point. What the hell do I want to do? I’ve never given the future much thought before.

“I don’t know. What are you going to do?”

“If the Jeffreys take me in they said that we’ll be going on a holiday to China during the school break. Ironic huh?”

“Huh. I’ve never given much thought about travelling. I might start back-packing through Europe and Asia. I’ve always wanted to see Japan to be honest.”

“Japan? Haven’t they been colonised by China? Are you sure it’s even a safe place to go right now? The hell is wrong with you? Please tell me it isn’t because of all those stupid anime you watch?”

“Hey! They aren’t stupid! Either way, Japan seems like a great place.”

“Whatever you want to do you do, bro. You can do you. By the way, I’m thinking of asking the Jeffreys to change my middle name to Sky. What do you think?”

“You know I call you that as a nickname right? I don’t mean for it to become your actual name. I mean, come on. It sounds like some cliché name of a character in a sci-fi book.”

“So? Cliché, overused, common, whatever it may be, I like it. Got a problem I’ll whack you.”

“And you’re violent.”

“Whatever. By the way, how do you intend to back-pack your way around the world with no cash?”

“You might think it is bad but I’ve saved up nearly six grand from my exploits. I intend to leave the orphanage in two years when I’m seventeen. Might as well start in China.”

“So you’re going to run away?”

“What point is there in me staying here? Some might disagree but I personally see no future for an orphan who grows up in a care home. I don’t know what I want to do with my life eventually. Hell, I might even write a novel.”

“You? Write a novel? Don’t make me laugh. What would that even be about?”

“I don’t know? Probably about how Henshaw fails as Prime Minister and starts the next world war.”

Sky and I burst out laughing. We both look at each other for a little bit. I take the opportunity and lean in to kiss her on the lips lightly. I only linger for a few seconds and break away.

“L…” she says.

“What?”

“I love you, you know that. But I risk losing you as a brother if we start dating… I don’t want to mess up what we have. I would if I could… But…”

“I know,” I say while sighing. “Sorry. Guess I got carried away.”

“You know, if things were different, as in if our situations were completely different, I wouldn’t hesitate. If anything, I just want to wait till we’re older.”

“Hah, I’ll laugh if the day comes when I die before you get the chance.”

“Don’t make jokes like that!”

I laugh and lay back on the bed. She doesn’t want to say it but I know myself that was awkward. She loves me both in that way and as a brother but wants to love me as a brother till we’re older… Interesting. I look up at the ceiling, my stare boring into it. Finally I decide to speak and break the awkward silence.

“I’ll come find you, you know.”

“Huh?”

“When you get adopted. The Jeffreys don’t seem like the type of people to stay tied down to one place for a long time. We may not stay in contact, but I promise I’ll come find you.”

“I know you will. And stop hacking. If you get arrested it won’t look good. You won’t have me to protect you soon.”

“Hah. What a laugh. If anything, I can promise you one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“Wherever you are, no matter what, you have to remember that we’re all we’ve got. Just each other.”

“I know. But that’s not a promise, is it?”

“Yeah,” I say as I sit up. “Don’t worry. I promise that no matter what I’ll always protect you. No matter what.”