Chapter Just Smile
It's Wednesday, 24th of October and today has been great so far. The Friday meeting must have been pretty convincing because since Monday I got at least ten literary submissions. Claire and coach Colin must have gotten the word out to their armies of athletes and cheerleaders like I wanted them to because the amount of stories I got from all of them was overwhelming.
The submissions were rushed and short but it didn't matter because at least the Northwestern University will see that I inspired students to write. I know that they've already taken me in, but I just need to finish this.
Blaine wanted to stay at school today a bit longer, so I'm driving to the Clover Assisted Living Home to visit my grandma and then I'll come back to drive him home. I still can't believe that we're sharing a room. And my bed. I smile.
Blaine said that he wanted to stay at school because he found some after-school activity or something. He said it's some singing club and well, he's really good singer so I hope he'll like it there. At least he'll have something to cheer himself up after what his parents did to him.
I park the car outside the building and go inside. "So I'm blackmailing the entire school to better my chances of getting into the university of my dreams." I say as I enter my grandma's room and put down my bag next to the door. "And it's exhilarating!" I laugh and sit down on a chair next to the table in the room. "I mean, who would have thought one of my greatest achievements would be criminal?"
"Get out of here." Grandma suddenly says, looking at me with wide eyes.
"Oh no," I whisper and look at her. "Not today grandma, please don't do this, not today-"
"Get out!" She says again. "Get out, get out, I do not know you, get out!" She yells at me.
"Okay, I-I'm leaving." I say and quickly leave the room. I don't want to be sad because this just happens. It's not the first time that my grandma forgot me completely, but it still hurts and... and I'm sad. It's hard enough to see her almost every day and not have her recognize me, but to be considered a stranger by the person you love the most in your family is a different serving size of heartache.
I sigh and go back to my car outside. Then I drive to school to take Blaine from that singers' club and back home. I can't wait to see him. I was in such a good mood the whole day and then suddenly I'm feeling like I could just die any moment. I really love my grandma and to see her like that is really hard and now thanks to that I feel like shit.
I park in the student's parking lot and wait for Blaine. It doesn't take long and I see him walking from the main entrance. He's talking to someone - it's a really big black girl. I've never seen her before, or I didn't think she was worth remembering. I've never talked to her, that's for sure.
Blaine notices me and waves at me. She does too and he tells her something. She nods and then she goes her own way while Blaine runs toward me.
"Hi!" He smiles and envelops me in a huge hug, almost suffocating me.
"Well, hello Mr. HappyFace." I smile and enjoy his hug as long as I can with my cheek on his neck. "Who was that?"I ask after he lets me go and opens the door to my car.
"Oh, that was Mercedes," he smiles. "She's in the glee club and she has the best voice I've ever heard."
"I'm sure you're much better." I smile and briefly kiss him on the cheek as he finally gets into the car. "At least from what I've heard from you I think you'd be the best on Broadway in years." I say and sit next to him, starting the car.
"No," He laughs. "Seriously, I'm not that good."
"Yes, you are." I mumble and frown when the car doesn't want to start. "Jesus not again." I growl and get out of the car. The key is in the ignition, the left passenger window is open as usual and the radio is turned to a Spanish classics station. So where's the problem? The damn piece of machinery still doesn't start. Blaine watches me curiously as I go and slam the glove compartment and kick the rear license plate. Then I sit back next to him and turn the key. The familiar sound returns and I sigh loudly. Finally.
"What happened?" He asks gently, looking at me. I don't know why, but it's disturbing, annoying. Please just stop making me feel so vulnerable.
"What do you mean?" I say, looking in front of me, trying not to kill the both of us with my frustration. When did the sorrow from earlier turn into this anger?
"Something must have happened, you're angry." He says. I relax a bit and close my eyes for a second. I open them again and take a deep breath, concentrating on driving.
"I'm not... I'm not angry." I say but don't look at him. "I went to visit my grandma." I sigh. "And... and she didn't recognize me. At all. I mean, she always thinks I'm just a friend of her grandson, but today it was different. She thought I was a stranger and she kicked me out of her room." I say and feel my eyes burn a little.
"I'm so sorry." I hear him whisper.
"It's okay, it's okay," I say and swallow loudly. I can't get this emotional, I'm driving for god's sake. "It happened before, I just... I just wish she was okay." I say. "I wish she looked me in the eye and said my name." I say and quickly wipe my wet eyes with my sleeve.
"Kurt-"
"Can we please talk about something else?" I ask, trying to cheer myself up. "Erm how... how was the club?" I say and clear my throat. He doesn't answer for at least twenty seconds and he just keeps staring at me. I don't see his face though, I don't want to see, I have to pay attention to the road and I'm afraid that the moment I'd see his sad eyes I'd start crying for real. And I haven't cried in a long time. "Blaine?"
"Oh, yeah, the club." He says and looks away from me. "It was nice." He smiles. Yes, his smile. That's exactly what I need. And I'm not being sarcastic here, I need to make myself happy again and his warm smile is the perfect reason to be.
"How many people were there?" I ask him.
"Oh, about ten. They were all really nice and the teacher was the nicest." He smiles. "We sang a lot and he gave us some homework, so I'll be singing much more from now on."
"I'm glad, your voice is amazing." I smile. "I could listen to you forever."
"I love you." He suddenly says and it's the first thing since the grandma incident that really made me smile from my heart today.
"I love you too."