Stone Cold Notes: A Rock Star Romance (The Seasons Change)

EZRA THREW HIMSELF THROUGH THE DOOR WITH A SCREECH. “COW-UM! Cow-um’s house!” Then he threw himself at Callum’s legs. “Hi, Cow-um.”

Callum’s big hand patted Ezra’s small head gently. “Hey, Ez.”

“I’m gonna play.” Then he was off, making himself at home in the living room. We’d been here two times for dinner, and he’d already claimed the blue room as his, even though I didn’t think he quite grasped what a sleepover would mean. Callum had loaded a couple bins with toys for him, so as far as Ez was concerned, this was the coolest place he’d ever been.

I stood in the doorway grinning, balancing a box of pizza. “Delivery for Mr. Hottie McRockstar.”

Callum cocked his head, his mouth twitching. “Hottie McRockstar?”

“I’m assuming that’s your alias when you’re traveling. You know, so your groupies don’t find you and boil bunnies in your hotel room.”

His eyelids went heavy as he looked me over. We’d seen each other only a few hours ago, but he was looking at me like he was hungry for the sight of me.

“Don’t think that’s what groupies do in hotel rooms, Little Bird.”

“Well,” I lifted my pizza and one eyebrow imperiously, “I wouldn’t know.”

His chin dipped. “Is there any reason you’re still in my hall, holdin’ a pizza, talkin’ about groupies, and not kissin’ me? If there is, I’d like to know.”

I shoved the pizza at him, which he took with one hand, then threw myself at him much in the same way my son had. He had to bend for me to reach his lips, but this had become automatic now. He bent. I raised. We collided.

Callum didn’t do anything without intensity, and that included kissing. Even though we were standing in his wide-open door and my son was in the other room, his tongue swept into my mouth, his hand gripped my ass, and he devoured me.

“That was nice,” I murmured against his lips.

“More than nice.”

He took my hand, kicked his door shut, and pulled me into the kitchen. From there, I spied on Ezra playing with some of the toys Callum had bought for him.

“I can’t believe you bought him insects.”

He put the pizza down on the counter and circled his arms around my shoulders. I loved when he did that, because when he spoke, the vibrations traveled through his chest to my back, landing right in the lockbox I kept inside me for Callum’s words. The way he made me feel was far too big to even attempt to contain, so for now, it was the words.

“You told me he liked creepy-crawly critters, I bought him creepy-crawly critters.”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “You remembered something I said offhandedly weeks ago about my son. That is a big reason I’m so gone for you, Callum Rose.”

His arms tightened. “He’s a part of you, and I would do any-fuckin’-thing for you. That means I’d do any-fuckin’-thing for him.”

I breathed a sigh. This man. The goddamn man. He had made it utterly impossible to go slow and ease into things. He was gorgeous and irresistible, and even though I knew me having a kid at least partially freaked him out, he rolled with it as smooth as butter.

“Speaking of, two things happened since I saw you, which I wanted to update you on.” I turned in his arms. He frowned down at me, his brow pinching the way I liked.

“Need your face.” He scooped me up like a pile of feathers and plopped me on the counter, bringing us closer to being eye to eye. “Better. Tell me what happened.”

Before I could, his lips were on mine again, his tongue spearing into my mouth. This kiss was even more thorough than the last, and now, I was able to hug him with both my arms and legs. He kneaded my hips and wrecked my mouth with the most perfect, deep kiss.

All too soon, he pulled away, raising his head to peer in my eyes again. “Now, tell me.”

I giggled, but it came out with a sultry, breathy quality I’d never heard myself make.

“I’ve decided in my next life, I’m coming back as a celebrity. The average woman gets harassed and stalked and maybe even beat up by a man, and a judge shakes his head and calls it a misunderstanding. You make some calls, probably pay your attorneys big bucks, and in less than a week, I have a restraining order against Edwin. Your lawyer, who apparently is my lawyer, called me on my commute home to inform me of this and told me she’d email me the specifics. It was right before I got home, so I haven’t even had time to really process it, but—”

His fingers curled around the nape of my neck. “It’s a good thing, Wren. Means if he fucks with you, a judge can’t call it a misunderstanding. Gives you a layer of protection and lets him know you’re serious about him stayin’ away. I don’t care much for bein’ famous, but I will squeeze every advantage I have to keep you safe.”

I rubbed my palm along his chest. “I’m not mad about it. Promise. I am hoping he’ll receive the message loud and clear. I was just in awe of the power of celebrity and all it can accomplish in such a short period.” My head fell where my hand had just been. “Thank you, baby.”

He touched his lips to my crown. “You never have to thank me. That’s my job.”

“I’ll swoon if you keep this up.” I swatted at him. “Stop it.”

“Never.”

I tipped my head back. “Can you see what my child is doing? Is he destroying your living room?”

Callum glanced over my shoulder. “He pulled a cushion off the couch. He’s usin’ it to jump on and make one of his insects fly.”

That made me smile. “He’s fine?”

“He’s fine,” he confirmed.

“Okay.” I brushed his hair behind his ear. “The other thing that happened is related to the first thing. Ez and I ran over to our favorite bodega to get cat food for Lyle and Lovett. Mr. Sulaimani informed me Edwin is banned from his store. Banned, Callum. I didn’t want to ask him if he’d seen the video of the fight because he’s kind of religious and I didn’t want to insult him by asking him that. But he must have, right? Because it’s sort of sudden for him to make that decision. He’s seen Edwin asking me out a hundred times over the years and he always kind of chases him off, but he’s never out and out banned him.”

Callum jolted. “I never knew he asked you out hundreds of times.”

“Of course you didn’t. We weren’t together when most of it was happening. It wasn’t ever anything like last weekend, though. It doesn’t matter anyway. Hopefully he’s as done with me as I am with him.”

He took my face in his hands. “You’ll tell me if somethin’ else happens.”

Not a question. “I’ll tell you.”

His nose dragged along mine. “There was a time when you got hurt and I couldn’t protect you. All I could do was wait for you to email me and tell me if you were okay or not. We’re never gonna go back there. Anyone bothers you, makes you uncomfortable, scares you, hurts you, I’m here. I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to worry. That’s on me now. You got it, Little Bird?”

I exhaled through pursed lips. “I think so. I’m getting there.”

His nose gently tapped the end of mine. “Get there. This is your reality.” Lips touched mine. “Now, I’m gonna feed you and your boy.”

I grinned. “Always taking care of me.”

“Always.”

The three of us settled on the floor in front of Callum’s couch with our slices of pizza and, in Ezra’s case, plenty of napkins because my child was basically a monster when he ate.

This wasn’t a regular dinner. No, this was an occasion. We were here to watch the recording of The Seasons Change on The Nighttime Show. Through our separation, I’d carefully avoided watching any of their appearances. My heart just hadn’t been strong enough to take it.

Now, my heart was threatening to burst from my chest as Callum fast-forwarded to the right place in the show. This was silly, really, to feel nervous about seeing my boyfriend on TV—something he’d filmed the day before, mind you—when he was right beside me and my child was cuddled on his other side. He was no longer the stone-cold giant on the stage. He was the warm, affectionate man who, more often than not, shared my bed.

My heart wasn’t getting the message. I was nervous as all get-out while Ezra was practically flying out of his skin with excitement. He didn’t grasp what Callum’s job was, nor did he understand fame. What he knew was his new buddy Cow-um was about to be on the same TV where he watched Bob Ross and PAW Patrol, and that was a big freaking deal.

“All right, everyone ready?” Callum held the remote with his finger poised on the play button. Ezra shrieked, and I nodded. The lump in my throat was too big to fit any words around.

Iris strutted onto the screen, looking gorgeous and intimidating. The camera panned over the band, sweeping past Callum, whose face was impassive and glorious. Ezra put down his pizza and climbed into Callum’s lap when the music began. He leaned forward, resting his chin on his pudgy fists. His eyes were wide, reflecting the images on the TV. My boy was a talker, but he’d been struck silent as soon as he saw Callum.

As for me, the music they were playing filled my ears, but my eyes were on my two boys. Callum had frozen when Ezra plopped on him. His arms and shoulders were as stiff as a corpse. As the moments passed, his limbs relaxed, until his arms formed a loose circle around Ezra. And then he turned to me, caught me staring, and jerked his chin at my kid. My breath caught. If he wasn’t happy about my son being in his lap…well, I’d deal. It wasn’t right to expect Callum to automatically be comfortable with him. But that wasn’t to say I wouldn’t be a little disappointed.

A second later, a wide grin broke out on Callum’s face, and all my worries vanished. I smiled back, ruffled Ezra’s hair, and ran my fingers along Callum’s scruff. He caught my hand, kissed my fingertips, then kept it in his lap, right beside Ezra’s little body.

When the song was over, Ezra asked for Callum to play it again. I leaned in, my chin on Callum’s shoulder. He turned to me, so close, all I could see were his icy blues.

“You like?” he murmured.

“You guys changed the chorus.”

His eyes danced. “Yeah. You said it was a pile of shit.”

I snorted. “I don’t remember those words coming from my mouth.”

“Somethin’ like that.” His nose nudged mine. “You like, Little Bird?”

I nodded. “Very much.” I liked the music, the night, the man. All of it.

Ezra whipped his head around, a scowl pulling at his features. “Be quiet, Mommy! I can’t hear the music.”

I snorted a laugh but covered it up with a cough. “Can you ask Mommy in a nicer way? I’ll be happy to lower my voice if you can be polite.”

I could tell he was torn between manners and missing the show, but Callum paused it and placed his palm on top of Ezra’s curls.

“What’d Mommy say, Ez?” He said it so low, so gently, I would have thought he was a parent himself.

“I’m sorry.” Ezra’s lip quivered. He did not like to be reprimanded, no matter how gently, which I understood, because who did?

“I forgive you, baby buddy,” I answered immediately. “Don’t you just love Callum’s band? Isn’t it cool he gets to be on TV and play music?”

Ez nodded. “Like Bob.”

“Yeah.” Callum slid his hand down the back of Ez’s head. “Like Bob, only I’m not even close to bein’ that cool. I can’t even paint.”

Ezra twisted all the way around in Callum’s lap and cupped his cheeks. “Bob can teach you, Cow-um.”

“Oh yeah? I’m up for tryin’. Your mommy told me how much you like to paint, so I got us some art supplies. Thought maybe we could trade. I show you my guitar, you show me the ways of Bob.”

Ezra giggled hard. “The ways of Bob. What does that mean?”

Callum laughed too. “I don’t know, bud. I thought you were gonna tell me.”

Ez shook his head. “I don’t know!”

“You know, there are a couple Bobs I like too.”

Ez’s eyes went round. “More Bobs?”

“Ever heard of Bob Marley?”

“Is he your friend?”

Callum chuckled. “No, bud. He’s this chill, talented musician. I’ll play you some of his music later. I think you’d like it.”

“When I’m taking my bath?”

“You want to listen to Bob Marley while you’re takin’ your bath?”

Ezra nodded hard, sending his curls tumbling. “Yeah. Bob and bath!”

“All right, bud. Bob Marley and bath. Next time, I’ll tell you all about Bob Seger.”

My heart wasn’t even bursting anymore. It had exploded and was now dripping off the walls of my chest. Real gory scene. They’d have to burn the whole place down to set it right again. There was absolutely no recovering from my son and my love laughing and chatting with each other like it was as natural as breathing.

After pizza, Ezra got to take a bath in Callum’s deep soaker tub. He insisted Callum sit in the bathroom while he did this, which was fine, since Callum had to play DJ for him. My son was entranced by Bob Marley. It should have come as no surprise that his favorite song was “Three Little Birds”. It was a fantastic song, but also, wasn’t that the way this life worked? Everything was connected, even Bob Marley and Callum’s nickname for me.

When he’d fully turned into a prune, I got Ezra out of the tub and into his jammies. Callum met us in the blue bedroom, which had changed since the first time I’d seen it. There were rails on the bed, just like Ezra’s at home. There was a stoplight alarm clock on the nightstand, again, just like Ezra’s at home. Last, but really freaking not least, the picture over the bed had been switched out.

Ezra spotted it a millisecond after I did, and the calm he’d achieved during his bath was obliterated. He scrambled onto the bed and stood staring at the picture while his entire body vibrated and he clutched his hands under his chin.

“Bob,” he whispered.

Callum put a knee on the bed beside him, staring up at the landscape painting iconic to Bob Ross fans everywhere. “I thought you might like havin’ a Bob hangin’ above you when you sleep over.”

Ezra was silent, but his eyes were moving a mile a minute. I kneeled on the other side of him and wrapped my arm around his middle.

“Whatcha think, baby buddy? Do you like this room?” I asked.

He looked from me, then to Callum, and he leaped. Not at me. No, I was chopped liver next to my big ol’ rock star of a sweet, sweet man.

Callum caught him, cradling Ezra’s small body to his.

“Thank you, Cow-um. I love my Bob. I love it.”

“You got it, bud.” Callum’s eyes met mine over Ezra’s head. They were softer than I’d ever seen them. My boy had that effect. And maybe, I was a little surprised his pureness broke Callum down the way it did, but I liked it. Oh, I really liked it.

Then, Ezra further clenched the remnants of my damn exploded heart by asking Callum to lie with us while I read him a bedtime story…which he insisted Callum choose.

So, the three of us laid in Ezra’s bed for the night, and it felt…natural. Way too comfortable and sweet. It scared me, the way I loved every second of it. It scared me the way Ezra seemed to love every second of it too.

After two books, Ez was flagging and said he was ready to go to sleep. Callum gave his head a pat, and I kissed his cheeks and gave him a mighty squeeze. I left him there, looking so small and peaceful in that big bed. Callum was waiting for me in the hall.

Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around me, holding me against his chest. I held him back, resting my cheek over his heart.

It was early still, so we ended up back in the living room. Callum lay on his back, his head propped on a couple pillows. He positioned me on my side, my front plastered to him, my back to the cushions. My arm was draped over his middle, his was around my shoulders. Our legs were tangled, and it was so damn comfortable and easy, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

“He’s lucky,” Callum murmured.

“I know he is. I try really hard not to be my parents.”

He shifted so he was looking at me. “Even when you corrected him, you were so gentle. Not used to that, Little Bird.”

“I can’t imagine being harsh with him.”

“Lots of parents are more than harsh with their kids, even when they’re tiny like Ez. You and I both know that.”

“Yeah.”

His fingers trailed along my arm. “You know what I was doin’ when I was three? My mama had this grift that worked like a charm. She’d walk around with a big pregnant belly and me by her side. I carried a bag of oranges and I’d sell ’em to people at fairs and on the street, depending on where we were. She liked takin’ me out more than Chrys and Rasc because I was quiet and didn’t fuck her shit up. Plus, I was kinda cute. Not as cute as Ez, but cute.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” But I knew it had to be worse than that, and I almost didn’t want to hear it.

His fingers kept trailing, nice and slow. “She wasn’t even pregnant. Belly was a fake to garner pity and make quick green. She’d dirty me up before takin’ me out. Sometimes that came from rubbin’ dirt on my face, other times, it came from not bathin’ me for days. So, I was filthy, sad, draggin’ around, sellin’ those oranges. People felt bad for me, for her, so they’d buy an orange for five bucks. It wasn’t the worst thing to happen to me, not by a mile. But the fact that I was three and can remember it, clear as day, says a lot. I can still feel the blisters on my feet from walkin’ for miles in cheap, plastic shoes that were fallin’ apart. She had a set amount she wanted to make each day, and we’d stay out until she did. It’d be hours, Little Bird. I’d get sunburned, dizzy from the heat, and she’d keep tuggin’ me along.”

“Shit,” I breathed.

“Yeah. Shit.” He rolled to his side and touched his lips to mine. “That’s what I know. So, when I say Ezra’s lucky, I mean it. Seein’ you together, the way you’re so damn good to him, that’s a balm to my battered soul. ’Cause the oranges? They’re so small in the grand scheme of the things I saw, the events and trauma I lived through and walked away from. Knowin’ Ez will never experience anything like I did is a bridge over the chasm of my childhood.”

“You’re such a good man, Callum. You could have stayed down in that dirt, but look at you, baby. You pulled yourself out of it. You rose above it. I hate that you had to rise above anything, but you did. And you stayed good and kind and gentle through all of it.”

“Nah, I’m not good.”

“You are to me. You are to my son.”

He exhaled slowly through his nose. “I always will be. You can’t leave me, though. Not after givin’ me this taste. You can’t walk away.”

“I don’t want to, baby. Keep being good to us, and there’s no reason I’d ever walk away.”

He nodded, but that furrow appeared between his brows again. “I don’t know how to be normal. I’ve got a lot of shit in my head I’m probably never gonna work out. Don’t think I’ll ever like many other people. I’m gonna be possessive of you in a caveman sort of way. I’ve got kinks I’m always gonna need to indulge in with you. Sometimes I get dark and disconnected, though it’s better when you’re around.”

I interrupted him. “I know all this, baby. Why are you telling me this like I don’t know you?”

His fingers sifted through my hair, pushing it off my face. “Because, even with all those reasons I should let you go, all the bad in me I’m well aware of, I’m not walkin’ away. I won’t ever. Ever. And I’ll always be good to you and Ez, even if I get some things wrong.”

I cupped his cheek. “My eyes are wide open with you, Callum. I know you. You were my best friend for a long time, and now, you’re the person I’m closest to besides Jenny and Ez. I don’t know all your stories, but I know you. I’m not scared of your dark because I have plenty of my own. I want to share your kinks. I understand what it’s like to disconnect. I know you, Callum. I know you.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, laying his forehead on mine. “You sure as hell do.”

We held each other, touching, kissing, whispering. It was sweet, and then it was hot. My leggings disappeared, followed by my panties. Callum’s pants were lost sometime in there too. He lifted my leg over his hip and slid into me smoothly. And I thought, no matter how many times we did this, I would never get used to the stretch and fullness I felt when I took him. He filled me up to the brim and then overflowed.

He took my breath away, and I was addicted.

We were rarely face-to-face when we were together like this because of our height difference, but I had to make a note to use this position more often. I couldn’t tear my mouth from Callum’s as he moved inside me. We were packed tight on the couch, the cushions behind me, Callum in front of me, and I loved it.

Something had shifted between us tonight. My need to be close to Callum couldn’t be sated. Our chests were flush, he was inside me, but it wasn’t enough. My arms wrapped around his neck, and I shoved my face in his throat, kissing his heated skin. He groaned, circling me with his arms so tight, I could barely breathe, but that was okay. Barely was still breathing. I was alive, more alive than ever before, even with the wisps of breath I could inhale into my lungs.

“I’m your shadow, Little Bird.”

“I know.” I mouthed his Adam’s apple. “You promised you’d come.”

“Always knew it’d be me.”

I hadn’t known. I’d wanted it, hoped for it, but never believed I could truly have this.

Slow and steady transitioned to hard and needy. Callum hooked my leg with his elbow, tilting my hips so he could work his way even deeper. His pelvis ground into mine, and I clung to him through it, kissing his skin while he took utter control of my body.

And that…that loss of control without an ounce of panic drove me over the edge, Callum following seconds later. He lifted my face from his throat and kissed me wet and deep while pulsing inside me.

I broke the kiss, panting. “You have to stop or I’m going to need you again.”

He huffed a laugh. “I’m still inside you.”

My lashes batted. My inner walls clenched. “You’ve created a monster.”

“That was my plan. Get you hooked on my cock so you’d stick around.”

“It worked.”

Chuckling, he gave my ass a squeeze and groaned as he pulled out. Then he took me to bed, though not before stopping by Ezra’s room to check on him. And when he stood beside me, peering down at my sleeping boy, he sighed.

He sighed, over the sight of my son, asleep in his bed.

If I hadn’t been slip-sliding into deep before that moment, that would have done it. There was no coming back from this with Callum. He might have planned to get me addicted to his cock, but more than that, I was addicted to him.