SWNOVELS Steel Princess: Chapter 20
When I wake up in the morning, it’s cold and empty.
I slept cocooned in Aiden’s embrace, but he’s nowhere to be found now.
No sound comes from the bathroom either.
I sit up in bed and try to fight off the wave of disappointment that hits me out of nowhere.
Where did he go?
Did I scare him off with my nightmare yesterday?
I tell myself that Aiden isn’t the type that can be scared off, but the doubts jam into my mind anyway.
My backpack rests on a chair and my uniform is neatly tucked beside it.
If he took the time to do that, it should mean that he didn’t bail on me, right?
Tucking the sheet around my body, I stand up and glimpse out the window.
There’s no trace of his Ferrari.
My chest squeezes so hard like it’s on the verge of breaking.
Aiden stranded me in the middle of nowhere.
This feels so much like the first time we had sex; he just up and left without a word.
Back then, I gave him my virginity. Yesterday, I gave him my true, raw self.
He left after both times.
A wave of anger hits me — at myself, not him. Isn’t this what I want? What am I so disappointed about?
With a huff, I take a quick shower and change into my uniform.
I’m leaving this place and never returning.
Pressure builds behind my eyes as I glance back at the bed.
The bed in which he made me feel both pleased and safe — even if he was a dick about the first one.
He couldn’t have faked the care in his eyes. He couldn’t have pretended to hold me and soothe my nightmares after I scratched him.
It takes a special person to do that.
But he left.
I swallow the tears and exit the room. He won’t get to me. If he wants to consider this arrangement as a sex only type of thing, then so be it.
I can do that.
I can be as detached as he is.
Use then throw away.
Now, I just have to convince myself not to feel like a dirty whore.
Sounds reach me from downstairs.
Very distinctive sounds.
I stop at the top of the stairs, my cheeks heating.
Moans and grunts come from the lounge area.
My heart slams against my chest and I nearly fall to the ground.
It’s not… Silver, right? Aiden wouldn’t have brought Silver over to antagonise me.
He wouldn’t rip my heart open that way.
Not after the connection we built last night.
“Fuck, princess. You taste like sin.”
A harsh breath heaves out of me.
It’s not Aiden’s voice, but it’s a familiar one.
The moans escalate and then the air is filled with rough slaps of flesh against flesh.
I remain rooted in place with my cheeks aflame. No idea if I should disappear inside or stay here to not make a sound.
“Fuck, fuck!” The man grunts as she whimpers.
“Oh, God. Harder!”
“Harder, huh?” Slap. Slap. Slap. “How about that?”
“Aaaah! Levi!”
Levi?
Levi King?
The sounds die down as they both appear to have reached their heights. I still don’t know if I should go back inside or run out of here.
If I barge in on them now, they’d think that I’ve been hearing them all along and that would be super awkward.
And perverse.
“Oh, stop it.” Astrid — or who I assume is Astrid — scolds.
Her voice is a bit husky, but I hope it’s because she’s breathy, and not because she’s a different girl.
Please let it not be a different girl.
“You just came,” she hisses.
“I can never get enough of you, princess. Besides, I have other ways,” he grunts and soon after a giggle comes out.
Are they going at it again?
Maybe I should return to bed and pretend I’m asleep or something.
“Get a room.”
My back snaps at the signature bored voice.
Aiden.
He’s… back.
Something in my chest lifts. I don’t know if it’s joy or relief or anger.
Or all of them.
The anger at myself wins. How could I give him the remote control of my emotions this easily?
Astrid’s gasp is followed by scrambling about and a rustle of clothes.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Aiden?” Levi growls.
“This is my mother’s place.”
Wait. The Meet Up was Alicia’s place?
“Stop looking or I’ll poke your fucking eyes out,” Levi tells him.
“Looking at who?” I can almost imagine the smirk on Aiden’s face.
He’s taunting his cousin and he seems to enjoy it a bit too much.
The bastard can be so sadistic.
“Cover your arse, Lev. It’s not exactly a good sight first thing in the morning.”
“You little fucker, I’m going to —”
“I’m good,” Astrid sounds flustered, and I’m sure she is Astrid now that she’s speaking normally.
“Since when do you come over on the weekend?” Levi asks.
“Since now. Find yourself another place. Don’t you have a flat?”
“Fuck you,” Levi tells him. “I’ll be here whenever I damn well please.” A pause. “What’s that?”
“I’m making breakfast,” Aiden says. “And stop eating my groceries. Fill the fridge when you come over.”
“Wait. You are making breakfast?” Levi asks in an incredulous tone.
“Yeah.” Astrid laughs. “What gives?”
Aiden doesn’t answer, then after a moment, he speaks. “Leave. Both of you.”
“Nah.” I can hear the grin in Levi’s voice. “We’re staying for that breakfast.”
“In your dreams.”
“Wait,” Astrid says in a suspicious tone. “Is Elsa here?”
“No.” Aiden doesn’t miss a beat.
Why is he lying about that?
“She is, isn’t she?” Levi laughs. “Princess, go search upstairs and I’ll search the downstairs.”
“Deal.”
Aiden grunts.
Footsteps come closer.
I run back to the room and close the door. I quickly remove my jacket and pretend to put it back on.
A knock comes through before the door cracks open. Astrid’s head peeks inside. When her sparkly green eyes meet mine, a huge grin breaks on her face.
“Found her!” She barges inside.
Her denim overalls are buttoned all wrong and her brown hair is dishevelled at best.
I try not to recall what I heard happen between her and Levi downstairs.
“Morning, Elsa.”
“Morning.”
She leans in, face scrunching as if she’s about to tell me a top-secret. “I have huge news. Aiden is making breakfast.”
I offer her an awkward smile. “Okay.”
“Okay? What do you mean by okay? This should go in the Daily Mail or something. Hell. Jonathan should use it for marketing.” She pauses, narrowing her eyes on me. “Wait. Your lack of reaction can’t be because he made you breakfast before, right?”
I nod.
She stares at me with a parted mouth.
“Is it that strange?” I ask.
“Strange? Try miraculous. Aiden never makes breakfast. Not even when Levi forces him to help out.”
“He’s not the type who can be forced into doing anything.”
Understanding covers her features. “True.”
“Did you just come over?” I try to sound innocent like I didn’t hear her and Levi fucking each other’s brains out.
God. I’m so bad.
“Yeah. We wanted to spend the weekend at the place that started it all.”
“Started it all?”
She beams. “Levi and I started at the Meet Up. Crazy, right?”
I shake my head. “You guys are so good together.”
“Right? I agree. I need more people like you to say it to his fangirls.” She laughs before a nostalgic expression covers her features. “We weren’t always on good terms, you know, but I think the clashes in our personalities are what brought us together even more. Like yin and yang of sorts. We’re not there to be each other, we’re there to insert a piece of us in the other half.”
I heard about their rocky relationship last year, but I never asked. It’s understandable, though.
Levi might appear fun, but he has his own demons. Just like Aiden, he keeps them carefully tucked under the surface.
And this petite girl, only a year older than me, has managed to not only see his demons but to also make friends with them.
Hell. She fell in love with them.
Astrid seems like the type of girl who’s all in. She took Levi the way he is and even loved him for being who he is.
Maybe that’s why Levi watches her like she holds the world in the palm of her hands.
She doesn’t have to worry about the fangirls. Levi never looked at anyone the way he looks at her.
The look of a king to his queen.
The look I thought Aiden was about to give me last night.
“I know how hot-headed those with the King last name can be.” Astrid takes my hand in hers. “But they can have a big heart.”
That only includes Levi.
Aiden doesn’t have a heart.
I can be a naive fool and try to find it, but it’s full of wires in there.
I’ve already wounded myself enough, I can’t do it all over again.
“Well, Aiden is negotiable.” She winks. “But he’s been so different since you started to spend time with him.”
“Different how?”
“He smiles more and he appears a tad more human. Not to mention that he’s preparing freaking breakfast! You’re a miracle maker.”
We both laugh at that.
“Astrid, may I ask you something?”
“Any time.”
“How were you able to reach Levi?” Not that the cousins are the same, but they share similar traits.
“Reach him?”
“How did he open up to you and showed you his true self?” My head hangs. “I can’t even scratch the surface with Aiden no matter what I do.”
She appears thoughtful for a while. “I didn’t do anything special.”
“N-nothing at all?”
“I only showed him my true self and in response, he showed me his. Remember the yin and yang I mentioned earlier? It’s exactly like that. You take as much as you give. You can’t close off and expect him to bare his soul.”
“But I’m not closed off.”
“Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously?” She throws her hands in the air. “I’m not that good at psychology rubbish, but all I’m saying is, if you show your genuine self, then Aiden will be compelled to show himself, too.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“Then the fucker doesn’t deserve you.” She laughs. “But seriously. You’re wrong about thinking that you can’t scratch the surface with him. I believe you’re already deep inside him, you just don’t know it yet.”
I don’t think so.
“Frozen!” Levi peeks his head inside, wearing a grin that appears so much like Aiden’s when he’s genuine — which is rare as hell.
“Her name is Elsa,” Astrid scolds.
“Frozen is a term of endearment, princess.”
“Only to you.”
“Morning, Levi.” I wave at him.
“What’s your magic trick to have that dickhead make breakfast?”
“Being herself.” Astrid winks, and I can’t help the smile that breaks free.
We should meet more often. She’s one of the most real girls I’ve ever met.
Even though she’s the daughter of Lord Clifford, a renowned member of the House of Lords, she’s more down to earth than commoners.
“By the way,” Levi shouts in a voice loud enough to reach downstairs. “He cooks like shit.”
“You’re only salty because you don’t get to eat it.” Aiden’s voice comes from downstairs.
Astrid and I snort before we break into laughter.
“I’ll go help.” Astrid pats my arm again. “Come down when you’re ready.”
She stops at the doorway, stands on her tippy toes and places a kiss on Levi’s mouth, then escapes before he can clutch her.
My chest warms at the sight.
They’re really so compatible together. It makes me wonder about how rocky their relationship was last year.
“Are you coming?” Levi asks.
“Uh… yeah, sure.”
I remove my jacket and remain in my shirt. It’s too warm inside for a jacket.
Levi steps into the room as I place the jacket near the backpack.
“How is it with him?” he asks.
No idea how to answer that.
Good would be a lie. Bad would be a lie, too.
“It’s complicated,” I tell the truth.
“Well, he’s the complicated type.” Levi laughs. “You didn’t listen to my warning, so you reap what you sow.”
I face him. “Your warning?”
“At Ronan’s party, I told you that you should stay away from Aiden for your own sake, not his.”
Right. He did tell me that.
Does that mean Levi knows something about what happened to change Aiden into who he is?
Now, I have to ask without sounding too obvious.
“It’s not like I had a choice.” I shrug. “You know him better than anyone.”
“No one actually knows Aiden. We can only try.” He smiles a little. “But I’m glad you’re taking a chance on getting to know him, too.”
“A chance?”
“He’s not conventional.”
I nod once. Of course, Levi recognises Aiden’s true nature. They grew up together in the same house.
“This change happened somewhere in his childhood, right?”
He nods. “He was a quiet child by nature, but that incident changed everything.”
“You mean Alicia’s death.”
“Yes, that one was the icing on the cake, but it’s not —”
“Breakfast.”
Both Levi and I startle at Aiden’s voice. I was so focused on what Levi was saying that I didn’t notice him come in.
“How about you make a sound, you fucking creep?” Levi scoffs.
“How about you leave?” Aiden shoots back.
“Dream on.” He winks at me. “Come on. Let’s eat.”
I start to follow him out.
A strong hand clutches me by the arm and wrenches me back. “What the fuck were you talking about with Lev?”
His eyes are darkening by the second.
It’s then I notice that possessive streak. I don’t know if he overhead, but he seems more concerned about Levi more than anything.
“The usual. Arsenal and football.” I try to tease. “I can see who’s the talker in the family.”
“Elsa,” he growls in my ear. “Don’t push me. You know I go fucking crazy at the thought of you with another man.”
“Levi included?”
“Every last fucking one of them.”
He’s incurable.
And because I don’t want to antagonise him more, I say, “Levi might be the talker in the family, but he’s not the king on my board.”
A charming smile tilts his lips, and I find myself staring at it longer than needed.
He threads his fingers in mine. “Good save.”
We walk down the hall when I ask, “Where did you go this morning?”
“To buy gluten-free grocery.” He grunts. “Let’s get this breakfast over with so they’ll leave.”
“Why do you not want me around them?”
“I don’t want you around anyone, sweetheart.” He chances a brief glance at me. “Especially my family.”
But why?
What’s so wrong with his family?
Levi was on the verge of saying that maybe it’s not only Alicia’s death that caused Aiden’s change.
If it’s not his mother, then what made him who he is today?