Book 2 Chapter 9
I stared with abject horror at the front of my shop. It did indeed look like a bomb had gone off in it, with all the displays knocked over, clothes and paper everywhere, and even cracks in the wall. Light fixtures were hanging by wires and some of the HVAC system looked like it was about to crash to the floor.
“No…” I murmured, staggering forward. While technically I knew that it was just a shop, and that the things in it would all be replaced, especially with my insurance, it was still so heartbreaking.
I’d put three years of my life into making the perfect little boutique I could be proud of. I’d painted it. Decorated it. Set up every display on my own until Lyssa came in. And all of it was gone. Destroyed by someone who wanted to kill me or brainwash the wolf inside of me.
The ramifications of it made my stomach twist, and I had to whip to the side to heave into the bottom half of one of my garbage bins. Where the upper part was, I had no idea. No doubt flung somewhere deeper into the store by whatever had happened.
“This can’t be real,” I whispered not for the first time that night, my knees buckling.
But of course, Theo was there to catch me. I both hated and appreciated him, the emotions layering on top of each other and making me truly exhausted.
“I’m so sorry, Emma. For everything.”
Yeah, yeah, he was a real weepy boy. I didn’t have the capacity within myself to care. I just wanted a broom so I could start cleaning up.
“What are you doing?” Theo asked as I straightened and started to pull away.
“Getting a broom so I can start cleaning up,” I answered, as if offended that he didn’t read my previous thought.
Whoops, I was definitely being unreasonable, but I just couldn’t stop myself. Between the Alma’s b***d, the mating bites, and Samson’s spit-paste, I had a lot in my system. And that wasn’t even counting the original death curse. Or was it a brainwashing curse? Both? Who knew. Witches were a terribly creative bunch when it came to hurting people. A whole bunch of real go-getters when it came to pain and malice.
“Emma, we’ll have people come to do that. You need to rest and we should finalize our mating on a moonstone now that we have ours again. Otherwise…”
“Otherwise what?” I snapped, and the fervor of my own voice made me flinch. Why was I taking it out on Theo? I was sure he didn’t want to be my mate any more than I wanted to be his.
“Otherwise, it’ll keep draining me and I worry about being able to protect you.”
What?
I blinked at him like he was talking nonsense to me, because for a moment, he wasn’t. And then my brain finally parsed out what he meant and it all made sense.
Naturally, if he’d bitten me to stop me from dying, and we were now connected on a soul level, of course he could feel the effects of the magic, too. And while I was stabilized, no one said I was cured. Sam had stopped the poison, then Savannah and Theo had stopped the draining, but no one had banished the root of the magic from me.
Right, we probably needed that moonstone.
But also, being close to Theo made me want to dropkick him into another dimension. Preferably one where forcible matings and murderous witches didn’t exist.
“Okay. I’ll go home and sleep.”
“Emma,” Mahlan warned in a low grumble.
But Theo just held his hand out. “Come on, let’s go to my place. You can have my bed and I’ll keep guard all night. Let Mahlan and Lyssa clean this all up.”
“Actually,” Savannah offered before I could blow my top, “I could keep an eye on her. My place is already heavily guarded considering the situation.”
I latched onto that, eager not to have to deal with Theo and his stupid, sad face. I was tied to him. Permanently. But that didn’t mean I had to go spend the night with him right away, after everything that had happened.
“Yeah, I can do that! I’ll stay with Savannah!”
Theo didn’t look pleased, but instead of fighting me, he just nodded. Briefly, I had to admire his restraint. While I was so full of anger that my teeth itched, my inner wolf was howling to be near my mate, not separated from him for the night. Thankfully, the rushing violence of my fury was much louder than my wolf had ever been. She always preferred persuasion over a shouting match.
“That works. Why don’t I drive both of you over there so you can sleep now?” Mahlan offered, ever the big brother.
“Don’t worry about the shop tomorrow,” Lyssa said, setting down the vacuum she’d fetched from the back to hug me. “I’ll oversee the cleanup. I doubt it’ll be ready for customers by then anyway.”
Well, I had just been about to ask her who was going to watch the shop, but I supposed that made sense. There was so much damage that there was no way even a crew of cleaners would get everything done just overnight.
“Okay, yeah, that sounds good. I just…make sure there’s no one alone at the shop, please.”
“Don’t worry,” Mahlan said. “We’ll make sure everyone has a buddy.”
Well, I guessed that was that. Looking at Savannah, I gave her a nod, and she seemed to understand exactly what I meant because she ducked into the office to fetch her things and came back out moments later.
“My car’s right out front,” Theo said, his gaze icy and his tone unreadable. Was he upset? Did he hate me as much as I hated him at the moment? Was he just thinking about a particularly good cheesecake? Who knew? Certainly not I.
Actually…that was a bit of a lie. I could reach out at any time through our bond and feel exactly what he was experiencing. But I wasn’t willing to. I was pressing against that hatch with all my might, refusing to acknowledge it.
Theo led the way, Savannah and I silently following. And while he did open the doors for both of us, not much else was exchanged in the way of communication.
At least he didn’t try to press me for it. I was so exhausted, and confused down to my bones. I felt like if one more thing was stacked on top of me, I’d spontaneously combust into a fiery ball of human and wolf.
Ugh, what a sh!t situation.
When our silent car ride finished, Theo walked us to the door, offering his arm to steady me. I thought about refusing him again, but it felt like my legs were about to kick my own butt and walk off without me, so I let him help me to Savannah’s entrance.
Strangely enough, I hadn’t been to the Alma’s house since our last one passed. While I was no stranger to death, that didn’t mean I liked it, and all the memories of the kind old woman who used to live there would always echo around my head whenever we got close to the house.
It was a cute three-bedroom, which seemed like a lot of space for one woman until one counted her guards and patients. There was usually at least one patient lingering around in her care. The whole set up was very cottagecore, with breezy curtains and plant boxes at almost every ground floor window, which had to be comforting for the wolves being treated in her house.
And now I was the one spending the night there, in need of comfort. So…that was something. Comparatively speaking, it was one of the smallest somethings of the night, but still most definitely something.
Theo waited until one of the two guards emerged from the dark and opened the door for us before silently exiting. The urge to k!ss him bubbled up again, but it was quickly squashed by everything else.
I should say goodbye, I knew that much, but I didn’t. I didn’t say anything. I just watched him go then walked into Savannah’s house, letting one of her guards close the door behind us.
There were two more guards who greeted us inside, but Savannah paid them no mind.
“Are you alright?”
“No,” I answered as honestly as I could. And it was like that admission broke something in me, because the next thing I knew, I was sobbing.
It was embarrassing, really, and that was the last thing I needed after everything else, so I tried to muffle myself by pressing my hands to my mouth. It worked somewhat, but Savannah just lovingly patted my back.
“It’s alright. You’re allowed to be upset. Just let out all the noises that you need to.”
It was like my subconscious was actively waiting for her permission, because the moment she gave it, my hands dropped and I let myself wail it out.
“I know this isn’t what you wanted, Emmaline. It isn’t what you asked for. And I apologize for the part I played in pushing you into this.”
“I know you were just trying to save my life,” I gasped between big ol’ gulps of air. And that was one of the most frustrating things. Not that they had all done what they’d done, but that they’d done it out of the goodness of their own hearts. They were just trying to save me, and they went to extreme measures to do it. I should be grateful. I should be happy to be alive.
But I wasn’t.
“It’s alright, Savannah.” Well, it wasn’t, but what else was I supposed to say? “I know all of you took the same option I would have in your shoes, but I…I’m just grieving.”
“Grieving what?”
So many things! “The life I had planned. My choices for the future. Or maybe just what I thought my future might be. All of that is gone. Poof.”
“I imagine you’re grieving Kaleb a little as well?”
Did everyone know about that!? Or was it just an Alma, best friend, big brother, and brother’s best friend sort of thing?
“Yeah, of course I am. But also I don’t know if it’s him so much as it’s the choice of him.” I calmed down a little, my body running out of tears relatively quickly. “And it’s not like Theo isn’t smart, or smoking hot. I could have done a lot worse.”
“You could have. But to me, it seems the issue isn’t the suitability of your mate, but rather that you had the choice made for you.”
“Exactly,” I said, sighing with relief that Savannah understood me and didn’t seem to think I was an overemotional, ungrateful idiot.
“That is much to have on your mind, my dear. But none of that will be solved tonight. Why don’t you sleep, and we’ll take all of this a day at a time.”
Suddenly, sleeping seemed like the best idea I’d heard in a long time.
“Yeah, sleep would be good.”
“Here, follow me. I’ll get you to bed.”
With a gentle hand on my shoulder, she guided me to what looked like a guest room, then tucked me in. It was as inviting as the rest of her place, full of soft fabrics and muted colors. Maybe it was silly to be comforted by something that was usually a ritual for young pups and their mother, but there was something nice about being snuggled under covers and given a k!ss on my forehead.
Maybe, just maybe, when I woke up in the morning, it would all have been a dream.
It was not a dream.
I woke up with my bite still on my neck and a deep longing in my chest for Theo. Which just pissed me off all over again. I wanted to tenderly long for a lover because I truly tenderly longed for them, not because of chemicals that were from something I never wanted. Something I had never agreed to.
So I mostly stayed in bed. Or at least I tried to, despondently staring at the ceiling until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Then I got up and called Mahlan immediately, checking on how fixing my store was going.
“Uh, yeah, it’s not good news, sis.”
I swallowed hard. Why would it be? Not with my luck.
“Give it to me straight.”
“The lighting and HVAC took a lot of damage and the contractors are saying they’ll need to redo the entire place. But they’ll be able to upgrade things and make it really nice for you.”
My stomach twisted so hard I was surprised I didn’t vom right then and there. It probably helped that I hadn’t eaten since the previous day.
“But what am I supposed to do until then? I have so much inventory for the summer’s trends and they’re gonna all be stale by the time winter rolls around!” Did I hate the wasteful cycle of fashion sometimes? Yes. But I’d timed the expansion of my business for the summer rush, and losing it also meant losing everything I’d set up since the beginning of the year.
“I think you should take over the shop I have next to yours. I haven’t used the space ever since I bought it, and if I’m being honest, I always intended for it to be a gift to you when you were ready.”
I drew in a sharp breath. Did I mention I loved my family? Because I did. Not just because they gave me things, but because they really, truly believed in me.
“No, let me pay you for it.”
“That won’t be necessary. Just take the week off and let them set that side up for you. Then, once the renos are done and Sam has a chance to ward the place properly, you can combine the two.”
“Thank you,” I murmured, fighting back tears. “I’ll definitely need to hire more help then.”
“I’ll have Lyssa bring you the paperwork. She said she found your purse in the office and that you might want it.”
“That would be great, yeah.”
“She’ll be by later to drop it off. You just rest for now.”
“Alright. Keep me updated, please.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“And Lyssa is currently glaring daggers at me until I remind you that she loves you, too.”
“As she should. Love you, Lyssa!”
I heard my brother relay it and a faint positive response from Lyssa before I hung up, feeling the tiniest bit better.
And so the week went on, with daily updates from Mahlan and visits from Lyssa every other night. I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be easier if I could just stay at her and Mahlan’s place, but every time Lyssa tried to bring up the whole mating thing, I was reminded of how that was a bad idea.
Because I didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted to sleep, and eat, and watch Savannah as she kept up on her day-to-day duties as an Alma when she wasn’t working. Actually, it was more night-to-night duties, as she worked full time at her doctoring job, came home to nap, then stayed up all night for pack emergencies. But still, it was nice to help her prepare medicines, wards, and food with plenty of iron in it to replenish her b***d supply.
Which was necessary not just because of me feeding on her, but also because she made medicine out of her actual b***d. How had I not known that? Sure, I didn’t exactly go into battle like my brother and his inner circle, but it seemed like a pretty vital thing to know.
Maybe I could have forgotten about my bite entirely if it didn’t constantly feel like I was missing something incredibly vital. Like my right hand. I knew what it was, that my mating bond was calling out for Theo, but I was disinclined to indulge it.
My new routine changed on day eight when Lyssa and Mahlan popped up to drive me to the shop so I could look at things with none other than the white wolf himself: Theo.
He stepped in like I hadn’t spent the last week trying to forget his existence, then gently hugged me, scenting my neck. Half of my mind was thrilled at the contact and longed for more, but mostly, I was just uncomfortable.
“What are you doing here?”
“It’s the first time you’ve left Savannah’s,” he said matter-of-factly. Hey, at least I could always count on him telling me the truth. Even when it was something I didn’t really want to hear. “Thought I should be present for it, just in case.”
Ah, just in case. Most of the time I would say that was an excuse. But considering how Kaleb and I both had our as*ses handed to us, I couldn’t blame Theo for his protective instinct.
“I’m sorry this is all taking up so much of your time. I know you have so much going on.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Lyssa said, waving her hand. “This is what pack is for. And if I’m being honest, I’m super-excited to show you what I ordered from the catalog for your shop!”
“You ordered stuff?” I asked, a bit shocked.
“Yeah, not everything, because I figured you’d want some personal touches, but I reordered all the peripherals that were in store and copies of your shelves that were destroyed. Those took the longest, according to the catalog, so I figured it would be better not to wait on those.”
“You’re incredible,” I murmured, throwing my arms around my friend in a hug.
“Just trying to do what I can.”
We shared an understanding look, then everyone piled into the car. I was surprised that Theo hadn’t brought his own, but maybe he’d had just as bad a week as I did.
I had to admire that he kept his distance like I asked. I imagined it couldn’t have been easy for him. If my instincts were calling out for him, his had to be twice as strong, considering he was the one who initiated the bite.
There was this old myth that men felt bonding hormones more strongly than women, but that had long since been proven wrong. Sure, while a lot of dudes weren’t taught how to properly handle the intense emotions that came from a bonding bite, they didn’t feel it more or less strongly than their female counterparts. There were some folks who still hung by those old adages, but if anything, same-s3x shifter pairs were living proof that it was all bupkis.
The ride over was quiet, because of course it was. Every so often, I would feel Theo’s eyes on me, but when I glanced over to him, he was dutifully staring straight ahead.
Huh.
We arrived at my shop without any other cataclysmic event happening and I was surprised to see Kaleb, Jacobian, and Parker all waiting outside of Mahlan’s section. Well, I guessed it was mine now, considering that he’d given it to me.
“Hey, what are you all doing here?” I asked, unable to miss how I was much friendlier with them than Theo. Maybe we should do couples counseling, or I should take up boxing. Something had to be done about all my internal anger, and I couldn’t just keep treating Theo like my personal punching bag.
“We wanted to be here to support you,” Kaleb said, a warm smile on his face. But I swore I saw guilt deep within his gaze. If only he hadn’t been cut off by those witches, maybe I’d be mated to him instead.
But that wasn’t what happened and I needed to get over it. What was done was done. Besides, if wishes were fishes, there’d be a lot more people at sea. Or something like that.
“And also to do some heavy lifting if you needed it,” Parker said, flexing his surprisingly developed bicep. While I knew all of my brother’s inner circle tended to work out a lot, and even together, Parker had such puppy-dog energy, it was strange to think about him being ripped.
Whatever. He was always going to be the baby of our friend group, and I would continue to treat him like the adorable bean he was. No one could make me change on that front.
“Let’s go in, shall we?” I asked after Mahlan gave me the key. There was a small chorus of cheers and I unlocked the door, quite cognizant of the sounds of construction next door. Well, at least I knew the contractors were being busy little beavers.
Wait…had Mahlan hired Danee-zaa shifters? If anyone could get the job done, it was them. But I always thought they were more the type for Amish barn raisers rather than an electrical system and HVAC. They were indigenous shifters that had been in the Americas even longer than wolf shifters and tended to be quite traditional, but I guessed even the most staunchly old-fashioned fae could get with the times when it came to their nine-to-fives.
I would have to ask him later. But for the moment, my new shop had all my attention.
Sure enough, Lyssa had indeed ordered a lot. I could see a stack of the trash cans I liked stacked in one corner, with the shelving in boxes against the wall next to them. Then there were light fixtures, curtains for the dressing room, and a bunch of other peripherals that would probably be fun to unbox.
I spent a good amount of time just walking around, looking over things. Mahlan’s side wasn’t too different from my own, other than the bathrooms being bigger and on the opposite side. Thankfully, everyone just let me walk about, which was quite the relief.
When I finished, I heaved a big breath. Despite everything that had happened, fixing the place was definitely doable.
“Thank you, everyone. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“It’s what we’re here for,” Lyssa repeated, opening her arms for a hug. And naturally, I took it. One did not turn down best-friend embraces in times of stress. But even as I clung to her, I couldn’t help it when my eyes swung to Kaleb longingly, and then to Theo guiltily. I could see his pain, like I was holding up a mirror to my own hurt expression. Jeez, we were really a couple of sad sacks, weren’t we?
“And you don’t have to worry about that awful witch or anyone like her stepping foot in here!” Lyssa said. “Sammy has warded this place to the gills and even got a couple of his friends to put their own layers on it. Your shop will be more protected than Fort Knox!”
“That’s good,” I murmured, trying not to think about how close a random woman had come to killing me. As a shifter, I was kind of used to being a pretty hard enemy to take down. “Can you send them to my house after this?” It was half a joke but also half serious. I couldn’t camp out at Savannah’s forever, even if I was learning a lot about our Alma in the process.
“About that,” Mahlan said, and I could tell he was about to say something I didn’t like. Although lately, that wasn’t as much of a wild guess as it was a 50/50 shot. “The witches have obviously been doing reconnaissance on all of us. I think you should sell your house and live somewhere with much more security. Like one of our apartment buildings.”
“Excuse me, what?!”