Stand and Defend (Lakes Hockey Series Book 4)

I’m still surprised she asked for this. I figured it was a someday bucket list thing. But here she is, with a huge smile on her face, gripping my hand and tugging me into Logan’s tattoo shop to get her nipples pierced. I don’t want to show my bias in case she changes her mind at the last minute, but I’m equally enthusiastic.

We get inside, and I grab Logan’s newest portfolio of artwork and sketches. I flip through the drawings and marvel at his talent. The stuff he creates blows my mind. Jordan taps her foot next to me.

“Nervous?”

“A little. Will it hurt?”

“Nothing you can’t handle.”

She nods. “A little pain now is worth a lot of pleasure later, right?”

I chuckle. “You got this.”

Her hands ball into fists on her thighs. “I got this.”

My phone dings a few times, it’s the team group chat. I can’t figure out what the hell they’re talking about. Something about a woman named Kendra, a dating show, and Sully?

“Hey, who’s this Kendra chick the guys are talking about?”

“Oh my god! Kendra, as in Micky’s friend? Does this mean he’s doing it?”

I’m trying to make sense of these texts, but I’m not following. “I don’t quite get it, what’s going on?” The texts are coming in too fast for me to catch up.

“Kendra’s creating a new reality dating show—the youngest woman to ever produce a show like this. I met her at brunch, she seems cool. Apparently, her original bachelor dropped out last minute because—get this—he got engaged right after confirming the cast.”

“Oh, shit.”

She nods. “So, Micky threw out Sully’s name as a possibility. If she doesn’t have a guy, the whole thing will fall apart. Does this mean he’s doing it?”

I scroll through some of the texts. “Sounds like he’s agreed to meet about it. Huh, the quietest, most boring motherfucker on the team is getting his own goddamn television show.” I shake my head. “Good luck with that.”

She gives me a nudge.

“That’s the kind of guy she needs though. She wanted someone who was normal and in it for love. Someone who wasn’t a cocky prick looking to get his fifteen minutes.”

“You mean like me?”

“Exactly!” She smiles big and plants a kiss on my cheek.

“So, how’s it work? Is it like The Bachelor?”

“No, I think it’s kinda techy. Micky tried to explain it to me. It’s like a dating experiment to see if we can use AI to create a formula for love . . . or something.”

“Oh, God. I cannot wait to watch this trainwreck.”

She rolls her eyes. “It might be good for him.”

None of this is adding up. I furrow my brow. “Hey, is Kendra attractive?”

Her eyes grow big. “She’s gorgeous. A doppelgänger for Taryn Delanie Smith.”

I laugh and shake my head. I doubt it will make it past production.

“What’s so funny?”

I level her with my gaze. “Sunshine, I’ve played with Sullivan for years. He was captain until his retirement. I know the way he operates. If he’s doing this show, it’s because your producer friend sweet-talked him into it somehow. He hates technology and hates reality television.”

She rears her head back. “Wait—you think he’s doing it for Kendra?”

I shrug and suck my teeth before flipping another page in the tattoo book. I have a sneaking suspicion that’s exactly what he’s doing.

“Well, I hope he finds love and it’s a smashing success,” she says matter-of-factly.

Of course she does, she wants the best for everyone. I wrap an arm around her and continue to peruse the book while we wait for Kelly to finish up the appointment before ours. The next page is filled with some celestial sketches, including a sun that reminds me of Jordan.

The buzzing in the studio closest to the waiting area stops. I hear no talking, which means it’s probably Logan finishing with someone. My stepbrother is not a conversationalist by any stretch.

“I’m going to get a tattoo,” I say. “Want to get one with me?”

She laughs. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. Let’s do it.”

No matter how our journey ends, I want a piece of her with me always.

“Okay, I’m in,” she says, chuckling. “What are we getting?”

I stab my finger on the sun in the book. “This.”

“Why?”

I kiss the top of her head. “Because you’re my sunshine.”

Jordan pulls back and blinks. “Wait, really?” She bites her lip.

Her gaze falls to the book of tattoos. She presses her finger to the moon. “Then I want this one.” She tilts her head to the side, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yeah . . . it’s fitting.” Her beaming smile warms me when she looks up. “You have this pull. Like the moon does with tides. You’ve helped me through my highs and lows.”

I like that. A lot.

Logan steps out from behind the studio wall and peels off black latex gloves, followed by his client.

“If you want something that matches, I can turn them into an eclipse,” he grumbles, speaking and signing at the same time. He has a lot of deaf clients, like the one he’s signing with. The man pays and nods to us as he leaves.

“My last session had to reschedule, so if you want to do it, I can fit it in.” He sounds annoyed, but it’s simply his resting bitch voice. He’s like a permanently pissed off storm cloud, as if any joy he has is used up on his creative genius.

“I love the eclipse idea,” Jordan says, looking at me.

I agree. “Eclipse it is.”

“I’ll sketch it up during your session with Kelly,” he says, disappearing behind the wall again.

“Did we make him mad?” she asks with a hushed voice.

“No, that’s just the way he sounds. Where do you want yours?”

Her back goes straight, and she looks down, holding out her limbs and turning them as if she’s taking inventory of her body parts to make sure nothing’s missing. I’ve already got mine figured out.

“You can think about it while you’re getting pierced, but keep in mind you’ll need to have the body part you choose face up and you won’t be able to lay on your stomach with fresh piercings.”

“I suppose you’ve been around the block a few times.”

“Once or twice.” I gesture, holding out both arms.

“Where are you getting yours?”

I pat my hand over my heart. I haven’t told her yet, but Jordan’s my first love. She inhales deep through her nose, and I thread our fingers together.

“You choose my location,” she whispers. “I trust you.”

My eyes snap to hers. She’s letting me choose where to permanently ink her body. “Okay.”

Kelly walks out with a client she’s finished with. She goes over the care instructions with the customer, and I knock my knee into Jordan’s leg. “You ready?”

“Yes. You’re coming with me, right?”

“Of course.” She visibly relaxes. “I’d never miss a chance to see your tits.”

She narrows her eyes at me, and I stare back until Kelly interrupts. “Hey, where’s my dog?”

Jordan chuckles. “We left her at home, she’s afraid of needles. But if I’m ever out of town again, I’ll let you know.”

Hopefully, that won’t be for a long while.

“Just say when, I’d love to. Chicken Salad was an excellent house guest at Christmas.” Kelly ushers us to her corner of the shop. “So, how are you feeling? Excited?”

Jordan nods. “How bad is the pain?”

Kelly scrunches up her nose and shakes her head. “I’ve had mine done, it’s not bad. How’s your pain tolerance?”

Jordan shrugs. “I’m not sure.”

“It’s high,” I blurt, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees. I have intimate knowledge that this woman can handle pain.

Jordan removes her top and the front-zip sports bra she wore in preparation. She chooses a delicate barbell piercing, and I resist biting my knuckles.

“These look like yours,” she says, waggling her eyebrows at me, then looks over to Kelly. “Great work by the way.”

Kelly chuckles. “Thank you! Are you enjoying them?”

“Very much so.”

“Sharing isn’t always caring,” Logan shouts over the wall.

Jordan laughs and holds her hand out to me, and I sidle up next to her. Kelly goes over the piercing process, and next thing I know, she’s got her nipple clamped in a forceps.

“Deep breath.”

Jordan breathes in and squeezes my hand. I squeeze back, and she looks over at me with a smirk. Her eyes remain locked on mine, she doesn’t so much as flinch when Kelly shoves the fourteen-gauge needle through her nipple.

“Great job. One down,” Kelly announces, screwing on the end of the barbell. “How was the pain?”

“Not bad.”

I kiss her knuckles. “Thatta girl.”

JORDAN

I’ve had a smile on my face all day. I’m happy. Not just happy under the circumstances, truly happy without reservation. I had my nipples pierced—cross that off the bucket list—and now I’m about to get my first tattoo. Camden’s next to me, laid back in the chair getting his chest inked. When Logan asked him where he wanted it, he didn’t say chest, he said, “Over my heart.”

Telling myself our relationship was nonexistent, did nothing. Saying it was just sex is laughable. No question, he’s got me under his spell, but I’ve got him under mine too.

I’d been suppressing my feelings for so long, not realizing they’d been spreading like wild vines around my heart, quietly winding until I was ready to admit how I felt. As they grew and matured, so did we, and now there’s no looking back.

“How does it feel?” I ask.

“Good.” He smiles up at me, and my heart thumps. “How does it look?”

“I’m just finishing up the foreskin,” Logan mutters.

“Oh! So you do have a sense of humor, you simply choose to be a cantankerous killjoy. I see,” Cam says. I smile, amused by their bickering. He’s never said it out loud, but it’s clear Camden admires his stepbrother. Which is impressive, considering Cam mostly admires himself. And me.

Logan finishes and sits up straight, taking one last sweep across it with some kind of wipe. He begins disassembling the ink gun, tossing out the old needle, and swapping new latex gloves. Camden sits up and checks the mirror. “Thanks, man.” He walks over to the counter and opens the drawers, grabbing a few supplies, like he’s done it a hundred times. He rubs a salve over it and covers the fresh ink with a large clear bandage.

“Where are you getting yours?” Logan asks.

Cam hasn’t told me yet, but I know wherever he decides will be perfect.

Together we learned how to fervently trust each other, and our hearts—which is the greatest lesson—and why I’m handing over sovereignty of this. He’s changed my life; saved me, not just from Bryan, but from myself. Shown me how to stand my ground and live unapologetically. Without him, I wouldn’t have found the happiness I have today.

“Top front of her right thigh.” His eyes find mine, and he nods once to check with me. I nod with a smile.

“How big are you thinking?”

“Same as his,” I respond.

“Easy enough.” Logan wipes down the tattoo chair to sanitize it. “Climb on and push your pants down.”

“You usually say that in the opposite order,” I mutter to Cam. He winks at me. Logan smirks and shakes his head, prepping the tattoo gun. I hop on the table and wiggle my jeans down. He wipes down the area, places the stencil, and has me inspect it after it transfers.

“I love it.”

The buzzing begins and when the needle hits my skin, it feels different than I thought it would. Sort of like a scratch. Cam stands above me and brushes hair off my forehead. He pulls up a roller chair and settles in next to me.

“You good?”

My smile grows. “So good. Today is a great day.” I’m in seventh heaven.

“It is a great day.”

I don’t know how much time passes. An hour? Not much is said between us. It mostly consists of Cam checking in on my comfort level. My thigh is mostly numb from the vibrations. He glances down at Logan’s progress. “It looks good.”

“Yeah?”

He nods and kisses my cheek.

Kelly pops her head in. “I’m heading out, Logan.”

He stops tattooing and sits up.

“Alright. Hey, how’s your fake skin practice going?”

“Fine. I left a couple pieces in your office to look at if you get a sec. One of them sucks.”

“Nothing you make sucks, you’re being too hard on yourself. Look at it after a night’s sleep and decide if you feel the same way. You might realize you actually love it, if not, we’ll find a way to fix it. Or you can save it for coverup practice later on. But I’m sure it’s beautiful.”

Cam and I are practically gaping at him. It’s the most I’ve ever heard him speak at once.

“Meh. We can go over them tomorrow,” she replies.

“Night, Kel.”

Logan doesn’t look back down until she disappears. He’s definitely got a thing for her.

Cam looks between the door and Logan. “Jesus Christ, Blabbermouth Betty. Did you want us to leave so you could fuck her on the counter?”

He raises an annoyed eyebrow, wipes the tattoo, and leans forward again, switching the gun on. “Shut up,” he says, going in again with his eyes transfixed on my thigh.

I get the side-eye from Camden and press my tongue into my cheek. Be nice, I mouth.

“We appreciate you staying late for us,” I add.

Logan nods and continues working. When it’s about finished, he pauses, studies it, then adds a little more until he’s satisfied. “All done.”

He sits up and stretches. The guy looks beat.

“Thank you, Logan. You do incredible work.” I sit up and marvel at the ink on my pinkened thigh. I love it so much.

“Thanks, man. I can cover it for her, and we’ll get out of your hair.” Cam pulls out his wallet and hands over several bills. Logan strips off his latex gloves and takes the money to count it.

“Need change?”

“No.”

He nods and takes the cash up front toward the register.

Cam sanitizes his hands, then adds a thin layer of ointment before ripping off the back of the bandage and setting it on top.

“You’re the coolest person I’ve ever met, you know that?” he says.

Smiling sweetly, I bat my eyes at him. “Everybody knows that.”

He kisses me softly and nips at my lower lip before helping me sit up. I spin ninety degrees in the chair before standing. Cam drops to his knees and raises my jeans back into place, I suck in my stomach so he can button them, and he kisses my leg on the center of my new tattoo.

“You’re my girl. Let’s go home and get you fucked into bed.”

At home, Cam gets me a painkiller. My sex drive has shot to the moon since I’ve been getting it regularly. Now that I’ve experienced true pleasure, I can’t get enough. Who knew sex could be as amazing as it is in books? Not me.

“Go lie down in my room. I’ll be there in a minute.”

I try not to skip the whole way there. Stretching out on his bed, I close my eyes. I’m in awe of how every day seems better than the last since we’ve given ourselves a chance at a healthy relationship.

There are times I think I should forget about Bryan, let the court sort out the money stuff and enjoy this new adventure with Camden. Then I remember how bad it hurt when he slammed my head into the drywall. They say the best revenge is being happy, and, well, ruining his life will put a smile on my face. However, this isn’t just about vengeance. Every abusive fuck’s reign has an expiration date, and his is long overdue. He’s been given too much power, I’m simply rectifying the inequity.

After a bit, Camden returns with an armful of stuff. Snacks.

“These are for later.” His gaze trails from my head to my toes and back again. He grimaces. “Why are you still dressed?” His disappointment is cute. He crawls over me, boxing me in with his arms. “One of these days, I’m going to get your heart-shaped ass bent over for me, but for the sake of your healing process, I’m going to be a gentleman and fuck you missionary.”

I laugh. “Excuse me?” Heat pools in my stomach.

“You want to know what it’s like to take my piercings up your ass? Let’s find out how much pain you can handle, Sunshine.”

Holy hell.

“Yes, please.”

“I can’t wait to see your body swallow each barbell. Tonight, you’re going to cry for every rung on my ladder.”

I bite my lip. Fuck. The way his lips curve into a wicked smile slays me. I’ve been waiting for this. His palm grips my waist when he lowers his lips to mine.

My hands hook into his gray sweatpants, then I push them down, running my fingers over his erection, and counting the piercings. All seven, each nearly an inch apart. All that is going in my ass?

Penises are not something I’ve ever described as pretty, but that’s exactly what Camden’s is. “You have a gorgeous cock.” It’s thick, velvety, and firm. Not to mention all the shiny hardware he’s added. “Has it ever considered modeling?”

He chuckles as he peels off my clothes, heeding my new tattoo and piercings. Once I’m naked, he pushes my knees up and spreads my legs. Dipping down to lick up my center. A sigh leaves my lips. I love the comfort he brings me during sex almost as much as the pleasure.

My eyes catch the bottle of lube on his nightstand, and he drips it over both of us. I ignore the thought of how many other women have had the same lube used on them; because I was the last girl he used it on—and I’ll be the next too.

He rubs his fingers over my clit and slides two inside while his dick rests its tip on the tight knot. He pumps faster. I squirm as he sits on his heels, smirking, entertained by my struggle. I gasp for air as he brings me to the edge of orgasm. He’s gotten so familiar with my body he can push me to the brink almost instantaneously. I fist the sheets beneath me, and my ass clenches.

“Oh, Sunshine, you need to relax for me.”

How? I’m too close to coming, my muscles are as tight as a drum. “I can’t.”

He picks up speed and frowns at me. “Aww, what’s the matter?”

I can hardly see straight. “You’re going to ma—make me come.”

“Not until I say so,” he says. “Do you hear that?”

Noticing the wet slapping sound between my legs, I blush. I’m drenched. “You have to slow down.” I shake my head with a tense jaw. “No, no, no, no . . .”

Camden pouts while nodding, taunting me as I try to gain control. “Poor thing.”

I hate when he does that condescending voice, it only turns me on more. As if his hands weren’t doing enough to stimulate me, he has to light up the pleasure center of my brain like goddamn Rockefeller square at Christmastime.

His demeanor turns commanding. “Fight it, Jordan,” he warns.

“I don’t want to.” I groan.

He shakes his head. “Your first time coming tonight is going to be with my cock in your ass. Now relax or I’m going to start playing with your clit too.”

With a deep slow inhale, I close my eyes and loosen my shoulders, trying to ignore everything happening below the waist. A few more deep breaths and I’m able to rein in the orgasm.

“Very good. Don’t forget your colors,” he mutters. The pressure on my ass goes up. My jaw drops open, and my shaky breath exits as he forges ahead. “That’s it . . . Eyes.”

I blink open, his gaze overflows with pride, but it’s more than that, it’s respect. The sensation overwhelms me. Our connection seems to throb between us. My heart explodes, and emotion leaks down my face.

“Talk to me, Jordan. You okay, baby?”

I nod emphatically. “Green.”

His smile grows as the first piercing pushes inside. “Ask me nicely for another.”

“May I have another rung?” I whimper.

He pushes deeper before pausing again, waiting on me.

“More?” This feels nothing like the toy did.

Another inch.

My lashes flutter at the fullness. “Please?”

His jaw tics. “Fuck,” he groans through gritted teeth. Watching a man who exerts as much control as Camden Teller reveal his weakness, is thrilling. Especially when that weakness is me.

I have to ask for each barbell before he gives it to me. Every piercing adds a layer of salaciousness. I’m gorged with him.

“It’s a lot,” I hiss.

“Did you think that was all of it?” His dark chuckle makes my eyes widen. He adds more lube. “What’s wrong, princess? Can’t take it?” His torment is so sexy.

“I’m not a princess. I’m a queen, remember?”

“Queens take all of it.”

I smile. “Then give me all of it.”

A lopsided grin forms, and he pushes my bent knees to my shoulders, so far it burns, then shoves the rest of himself inside. I gasp while he growls. He gave me the crown, that’s for sure.

“There you go,” he soothes, caressing me with his thumbs. Reaching under the pillow, he pulls out a small vibrator about the size of a battery. “Now let’s get you to come, hm? Give me what’s mine.”

He positions the pulsing toy on my clit and covers it with his palm, pushing down, holding it—and me—in place as he drives in and out. My back arches, creating a new sensation of being filled with him. He adds more lube, his ragged heavy breaths match mine. I’m almost there.

“Oh my god!” I writhe, my shoulders lift off the bed as abdominal muscles I didn’t even know I had fold me in half. He brings a hand to the base of my neck, forcing me back down. “You may be the queen but look how easily you’re ruled under my hand.”

That does it.

Bright-white light explodes behind my eyes as I come. The ecstasy of reaching climax after his edging is bliss. “Cam! Fuck!”

He removes the toy as I clamp down and swallow him even deeper. He pants and blows out a slow breath, like he’s trying to concentrate, as he snaps his hips, shoving himself and all seven bars over the sensitive nerves. “Christ.” His voice sounds angry. “I’m not gonna last like this.”

My lips curl into a mischievous grin. “Aw, what’s the matter, babe? You going to come?” I return his heckling, and he shakes his head at me. He grabs the toy and places it back on my overstimulated clit and pushes down.

I scramble to push it off, but it’s no use, he’s too strong.

“Wait! It’s too much, Cam! Too much!”

“How do your words taste?”

As painful as the vibrations are over my twitching, jerking body, I want to smile; his punishments are delicious, and it makes me crave them more.

“It’s agonizing!” Sweet, sweet, agony.

“You want to act like a snarky little brat, then I’m going to fuck you like one.” Cam grips my chin, parts my lips, and spits inside. Flames lick across my flesh when he lovingly slaps my cheek. “Come on my fingers and say you’re sorry,” he demands.

The climax takes me by surprise. I bow to him despite my attempts to rebel.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Those are mine too,” he says, gesturing to the tears streaming down my face. He tosses the toy aside. “Goddamn, Jordan,” he growls.

Bracing himself over me, he drops to his elbows. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world. And that’s not even the best thing about you.” His lips brush mine, our kiss is tender and sweet. One hand cups the side of my breast, and he sweeps his thumb across the underside, mindful of my new piercings.

When our kiss ends and gazes meet, I’m so overcome with euphoria I can hardly think. I’m on an existential plane of happiness. All I see is Camden. My heart is on fire, and the inferno consumes me. I study his face, in awe of how much better my life is with him in it. Funny how living with this man has taught me how to live for myself.

Am I in love?

“Look at all you’ve done today . . . new piercings . . . a tattoo . . .”

Letting go of my inhibitions and trusting people who deserve my trust. My chest floods with affection.

I skate my fingers across the clear plastic bandage over his heart. “This is mine,” I whisper. All mine.

He clutches that hand and brings my fingertips to his mouth, pressing them to his lips, then threads our fingers together and slows his thrusts. His eyes bore into me, and he nods.

“Come with me.”

I bite my lip and suck in a breath. His hand snakes between us, and he rubs circles while each pair of beads on his length continue plucking my rim like guitar strings. My sore body pushes through the aches, and I squeeze his hand as he increases the pressure on my clit.

Our lips meet, and he swipes his tongue across mine.

“Now.”

I let go, the orgasm exploding from me. Behind the pulse in my ears, I hear him moan, and it fills me with satisfaction. Every sound is so rough, deep, and masculine. We crumble into each other, my chest heaving as I attempt to catch my breath.

“I’ve got you. You did so well, Jordan.” He showers me in tender kisses. I’m hit with an intense surge of euphoria; a mix of joy, pain, lust, compassion, and vulnerability . . . I burst into tears. Oh god, what is happening? I’m having a crygasm. I’m crymaxing.

“I know, baby. I know.” He holds me tighter, and presses a kiss to my forehead.

“I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” My pulse races, panicking that I’m unable to stop the tears.

“Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re perfect,” he whispers.

After carefully sliding out, he lies on his back and pulls me close. One nipple is pressed to his side; it’s sensitive but doesn’t hurt. He cups behind my right knee and drags it higher. My cheek rests on his chest, and I listen to his heartbeat, the sound settling me.

His fingers brush over my tattoo bandage, and I rest my palm on his. We will always have this.

The overwhelming sensations mix and bloom in my chest like ink in water. It fills all my colorless voids with bright plumes of pigment. I didn’t know it could feel like this.

I’m in love with him.