Stand and Defend (Lakes Hockey Series Book 4)

There’s no way in hell I’m sleeping tonight. Not after that. I’m pacing back and forth in the kitchenette of his bonus apartment. I feel more alive than I have in a long time. I’m energized and light and . . . fuck, I’m so horny. Some kisses you always remember: your first kiss, your first hot-and-heavy kiss, the kiss from your first love, and the one from Camden Teller. Dear god, no wonder women flock to him.

Cam: Sorry.

Me: I haven’t kissed anyone since Bryan. Just caught me off guard, that’s all.

Had I known a kiss from him would be like that, I never would have allowed it. Now that I’ve had a taste of him, I want to feel like this all the time. I want to feel invigorated, feel the blood pumping through my veins. It was cruel of him to make me feel so good, especially when it can’t happen again.

Cam: I’ll ask before I kiss you next time.

Why is he making this so difficult? I bring my fingers to my lips again and close my eyes, allowing myself to relive it. Sparks are firing throughout my body, and I forget to breathe as I recall the way his lips moved against mine. I saw stars. The brief kiss with Cam turned me on more than any sex I ever had with Bryan.

He has to know this was a mistake, one we can’t repeat. I wish things were less complicated . . . Damn him, I was fine before! I had no problem being in his vicinity, then he had to say all those nice things during our heart-to-heart earlier today. Honesty is so hard to come by these days. And all the stolen glances. And the kiss. Now what?

Me: There’s no next time. I can’t get involved with anybody right now.

That fucking kiss. It made me forget every ugly disaster in my life—it was pure bliss. I surrendered to the moment and actually let go for once. He tasted so good. I rummage through the cupboard until I find my precious bag of Sour Patch Kid gummies, then stuff a handful in my mouth. I need to get him off my tongue.

Cam: Who said anything about being involved? I’m just talking about a kiss.

Me: We need to keep things platonic. Just friends.

Cam: Friends can make out platonically.

Me: I can’t.

Cam: K.

My heart sinks a little. I don’t want to say no, but my brain says having a repeat of tonight would be a bad idea. My vagina vehemently disagrees. Our kiss was hungry and desperate and overwhelming.

Thankfully, I’ve already started looking for a new place to live. I need to put some distance between us. This was not supposed to happen. Until I move, I’ll lock myself in my room and never come out.

Cam: What time do you want to get your stuff tomorrow?

Ah, fuck. I have to see him tomorrow. Embarrassing as it is, I’m not chancing going alone. I’ll risk my pride before my safety.

Me: Can you meet me there at 3? I’ve got a couple apartment viewings, but I should be done by then. I’d like to get my things and be out as fast as possible.

Cam: I’ll be there.

I grab another handful of sour gummies and shove them in my mouth like popcorn as I walk to the bathroom. I need a cold shower.

Even as the cool water sluices over me, my body is red hot. I can’t get the butterflies to fly away. Twenty minutes later, my phone dings while I’m pulling on some clean clothes. Ones without his scent on them.

Cam: You’re a good kisser.

Is he still thinking about it too?

Me: Not my type.

Cam: You are so full of shit.

Me: Goodnight Teller.

Both hands come up and slap my cheeks. “It’s a stupid fucking kiss, Jordan! Get over it!”

I flop onto the bed with my arms open wide.

“I’m so full of shit,” I mumble. Fuck.