Spirit of the Wolf

Aiden’s POV

Nothing is worse than having to watch the one you would die for struggle and not be able to help. Watching Ayla fight her internal battle alone has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Surely there must be something I could do to help? But whenever I asked, she would smile and say she was okay. She hasn’t learnt yet that we are mates, and I can feel when she is fine and when she is not.

For once, it seems like Axel has a better grasp on the situation than I do. He seems to know exactly what she needs and when she needs it. At the same time, I feel like I’m just annoying her!

“What is the point in being this big strong protector if I can’t even protect her from tormenting herself over this?”

Archer had been out cold since he took the hit for Michael two weeks ago. Never will I forget the pain we all felt when Archer went down. I swear we all felt it with him; Ayla took it badly but channelled the pain into rage. That girl has some serious power behind her when she wants to.

“She’s pushing me away”, I send to Axel, feeling lost and hurt but trying my best not to show it. Guys like me don’t show that kind of emotion. I’m the protector. I shouldn’t need protecting myself.

“She’s hurting; she’s not pushing you away”, came his reply, I know he was trying to make me feel better, but frankly, it felt like she no longer wanted me around, not like she wanted him.

“Look, we are all finding it hard right now; never have we been without one another; my head feels emptier with only us inside it. Not having Archer’s cocky remarks and silly jokes popping up out of nowhere is hard.”

“I guess I just can’t explain how much I feel for her, and when you feel like you’re losing the very air you breathe, it’s suffocating” I was trying my best to hold my emotions in check, so she didn’t feel them. I don’t want to hurt or upset her more than she already was.

Trailing behind, I watch Ayla walk up front. She’s unbelievably beautiful; everything about her made my heart slam into my chest like it was trying to escape. If I watched her for too long, it became obvious how badly I wanted her. The tell-tell ache that begins to throb between my legs makes me avert my eyes and try to think of anything other than her. Clearly, I have failed. Reaching up to the neck of my hoody, I yank it up and over my head, and I hold it over my arm to hide the bulge that has appeared out of nowhere—leaving me standing in a tight black sleeveless top. Good job, werewolves run hot, or I would be bloody cold right now.

The weather had taken a strange turn for this time of year; it usually was warming up nicely for summer, but this morning there was frost on the ground, and it was chilly; you could see your breath as you walked.

Ayla hated it inside the pack house at the moment; everyone would stop and stare at her, watching her, waiting to see if she did something otherworldly. I couldn’t blame her. It was annoying me too. That’s why we decided to take an early morning walk. Most days were going like this lately. Michael would want a mini meeting with us most days, Ayla’s biological parents wanted to see her and get to know her, and then there was Archer, the only place she wanted to be beside him.

“Do you think Michael will have anything to tell us today, or do you think his insistence on seeing us is to just keep an eye on me?” Ayla called over her shoulder, I think it was aimed at me, but I guess it could have been to either of us.

“I don’t know; I wouldn’t like to say. I think he’s a bit confused with everything and is still doing his best to seem in full control,” I call back.

“Did you just stand up for him, Aiden?” a slight glimmer of laughter could be heard, underlying her question.

“No, as if I would!

It was nice to hear a note of life back in her voice; we needed to get Archer back with us before we lose her to this depression. I wouldn’t put it past her to learn very quickly how to push us out of her mind and hold her feelings at bay, so we are in the dark; I will be damned if I allow that to happen!

“Do you think you could go and let my parents know I will be late visiting today…that still sounds weird to me…parents! Who thought I would ever be saying that,” she mused?

“Oh, sure, okay”, I mumble back to her; it felt like she was trying to get rid of me again.

“Axel, how about you go with him? I won’t be long. I’m just going to talk to Michael quickly, and I’ll meet you both in Archer’s room in a few minutes” she shot us a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

Reaching the door, Ayla headed towards Michaels’s office. At the last moment, she turned and waved. She wasn’t herself lately, and it was becoming worse.

Quickly we take the turning on the left toward her biological parent’s room. They had been put up in the guest wing indefinitely, but they were still guarded and watched.

“What do we do? Ayla can’t carry on like this” Axel spoke up

“I know, something will have to give soon. There has been no sign of Alune since the battle, and the light in her eyes is rapidly fading”

Axel released a long heavy breath,

“We have to get Archer back, and soon before we lose her too” My brother sounded as lost as I felt.

“How about Aleena?” I couldn’t believe the thought hadn’t come to either of us already; we had been so caught up in everything going on we hadn’t stopped to think.

“What about her?”

“Brother, come on! She’s magic! She might be able to help us pull Archer out of whatever coma he’s in,” I explain.

“Sometimes your brilliant” Axel bounced on the balls of his feet, grabbed my head with both hands and forcefully kissed my forehead.

“Get off!”

“If we leave Ayla with Archer in a bit, we can go and find her and see what she can do to help; it’s worth a shot.”

Ayla wouldn’t mind if we were there or not when we visit Archer; she sometimes sits cuddled with one of us, but most of the time, she climbs up in bed with him, willing him to come round.

“Right, let’s give Ayla’s message and get going” I point to the door, knowing my brother knows precisely which room they are in. I was hoping he would be the delivery boy today, not me.

“Me again!” he groans; Ayla had us delivering her messages all the time to everyone lately. It’s a good job. We are nuts about her. Otherwise, this would have gotten old very quickly.

“I will do the next one; I promise,” I lie.

“You’re a dick, and you know it, Aiden”, he huffed as he pushed onto the allotted door.

It wasn’t a lot seeing as I’m the one getting pushed out by our mate right now; at least he still gets all her attention, so him doing the message delivery isn’t much to ask, not that I was going to argue the point or anything, it was just how I felt.

“Her mother’s face looked heartbroken like I had told her Ayla wanted nothing to do with her again,” Axel told me as he made his way back down the long corridor.

“She will get over it, don’t worry about it.”

“I guess, come on then, let’s go to Archer’s room and wait for Ayla; I’m sure she won’t be too long.”

Ayla’s POV

Michael was getting on my nerves lately, insisting on seeing me every day in his office at least once or twice. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that I had nothing to report! And if he has no news on the whereabouts of the Sun Valley Pack, then he doesn’t have to keep pulling me in here. I love him, I genuinely do, but right now, all I want to do is be with Archer! I need to find a way to pull him out of whatever dark place he is in. I know something is wrong. I can feel it; I just can’t explain it yet.

“Come in”, Michaels’s voice sounded behind the closed door. I had knocked a little bit too hard on the old wooden door, leaving a slight but noticeable dent in the panelling; I’ll have to replace that for him.

“Michael, any news for me?” I jumped into business today; I didn’t have time for idle chit-chat; I walked over to him and kissed his cheek like I do every day. The last thing I want is for him to feel I’m pushing him away, especially not because my biological parents are here. Michael is not replaceable, and I have tried my best to tell him that.

“Nothing substantial just rumours.”

I watched him as he spoke, moving from behind his desk to stare out the window. He looked tired and drained as if he had aged a few years in a couple of days; I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I knew a lot of it was because of me, yet I still wanted nothing more than to leave this office as fast as possible, even though I should be spending more time with my adoptive father. He had been there for me my whole life, and I should be there for him, too. But my heart felt like it was physically torn in two; the fact Archer was right there in the other room didn’t help. I felt like I had lost him completely.

If I allowed myself the luxury of truly thinking about it, I would crumble to a heap on the floor, nothing more than a mass of auburn red hair and heartbroken tears.

“Ayla, I can feel how badly you are hurting, and we are not even linked to one another” Michael had made his way over to me without me even realising it. “Your pain radiates off you in waves, and it’s killing me, child. I don’t know what I can do to help you, and trust me; I so desperately want to! I owe the boy my life.”

“I’m sorry, I am trying my best to hold it all back so no one gets hurt by me, but I can’t! It’s crashing into me with such force…I can’t live without him” the words tumble from my trembling lips, words I hadn’t been able to say to anyone yet; I needed people to believe I was okay and that everything would be alright.

“I know I have two other mates, but that doesn’t matter. I can’t lose either one of them; the pain will be too much” silent tears left burning trails down my ivory white cheeks.

“Sweetheart, never hold your pain in like that; you could do so much more damage to yourself if you do” Michael had wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a reluctant but needed bear hug.

“Look, you go and sit with him for a while; these rumours can wait for later, or better yet, I’ll send scouts out to investigate it; if anything comes up, then I will let you and the chase brothers know, right now you are needed elsewhere.”

I couldn’t thank him enough. He knew exactly what I needed and where I needed to be right now. For him to grant me this even though the threat to our pack was great meant nothing short of the world to me, I felt a little guilty for feeling so irritated at him now. I know I’m the pack’s greatest defence since joining with Alune, even though I’m not meant for that role alone. I just knew a broken Exalted is as useless as no Exalted at all.

“Thank you”, I mutter, wiping the stinging tears away as I crossed the room to leave.

I ran to Archer’s room; it felt like a lifetime to make it there. I needed to sit with him, to hold his hand and stroke his hair. I needed him to know I was there with him and loved him more than anything else. A secret part of me hoped he would wake up like magic when I kissed him, like in fairy tales. My little inner princess was screaming at me for this to be real, for this to happen just like it did in all my favourite childhood stories. But sadly, the real world wasn’t a fairy tale, and magic didn’t always work that way.

Rounding the corner to the corridor that held Archer’s room, I saw the backs of my other two mates, they still took my breath away, and I adored them endlessly, but I couldn’t enjoy being with them when a part of me felt like it was missing.

We needed Archer back, and we needed him back now!