Something to be Proud Of

Chapter 9: Philosophy

Mel would engage anyone in a discussion about nearly any topic. It could be history. It could be political philosophy. He seemed to have read nearly everything ever written. The girl was interested, but was testing his suitability. She had a “keen interest” in environmental issues. Buck could tell this was not going to end well. Most people drop their profession as the bar door. Not so with Mel: The more he drank, the less primal he became. Something was seriously wrong with his biology. There was no solution. He fit Aldous Huxley’s definition of an intellectual as “someone who discovered something more interesting than sex.” In other words, Mel was dangerous to himself and others. Still, Mel was the kind of guy you wanted on your side. And if he got interested in something, there was no one better to find the answer. Buck respected him. Even though he was no Wing-man, Buck brought him on his latest weekend trip to The Saddle, to meet with Sam.

Mel ranted into his beer, “The world would starve to death, waiting for consensus and assent of insecure, mediocre people.”

“Oh jeez, do you want to get laid or not?”

Sam was flipping through the latest injunction. Sam turned to Mel, “You’re a smart guy. This guy, Carluccio, went to Yale. You talk some sense into him.” To Sam, everyone who went to an Ivy League University belonged to some kind of club.

Unable to contain himself, Mel blurted, “Goddamnit, Sam, don’t you get it? This idiot is immune to reasoning. He is ideologically opposed to you and people like you. Worse, he knows your reputation. He will move Heaven and Earth to stop whatever you do.”

Sam stared blankly, unperturbed. Mel stewed at being ignored or not understood. Sam was no intellectual or economist. He instinctively liked Buck’s idea – that’s all that mattered. What Carluccio thought was irrelevant wasn’t it? Mel knew better. He saw where this was going, and was frustrated in advance. They were wasting their time, tilting at windmills. The rage built up in him.

Sam had been marinating over his comment, “Well, just talk to him. See what he wants. Just keep him away from me. He gives me the creeps.”

Mel decided to do nothing.