Some Mate You Are...

For the first few hours after Marvel had given me the ultimatum, I pouted in my room. I was a mix of emotions; I was angry, confused, and hurt. I felt badly as I tried to work through my feelings as I finally understood that this was much of what I had been putting Marvel through during these last months. The realization of the pain that I had been causing her only making me feel worse.

When she had begun the rejection, I had felt my heart break in a way that I had not known was possible. The pain that had shot through my chest was unbearable and I never wanted to feel anything like that again. I was a bad mate. I should have never caused her any of this harm and I wanted nothing more than to take all these months back. I wanted to go back to the night of her birthday, when I first entered the Wolf’s Den and saw her dancing with that sorry excuse for a wolf. If I could do it all over, I would walk right up to her, push the other wolf away and claim her as mine, immediately.

But I did not have the power to turn back time and I did not know of anyone who did. Though I did imagine that a powerful witch may have been able to perform such a feat. Regardless of that, I did not know any witches either, so that was of little use to me.

My mind was a mess, my thoughts were all over the place. I knew that I needed to clear my head. So I determined that I was going to go for a run. I went out into the yard and pulled off my clothes before shifting into my wolf. My chestnut-colored paws pounding against the forest floor as I ran as quickly as my legs could carry me. I hoped that being in wolf form would help to ease the pain in my chest, but that remained. So I pushed myself harder and destroyed anything that was unfortunate enough to find itself in my path. Every plant that sat along the trail was suddenly badly damaged; any tree limbs that fell into my way were quickly snapped between my jaws. I let the forest feel my pain, since that was the only way that I could find any sense of release.

That was when I caught her scent on the wind. Salted caramel fudge with just a hint of vanilla; pure sugar, just like she tasted on my tongue. I knew that I could not control my scent while I was in wolf form, and I did not want her to be upset at seeing me. But I could not stop myself from tracking her from a distance. I could tell that she was on a run with Aida, and she was flying through the forest as she went. I did not think that I had ever known her to run so quickly; I could tell that poor Aida was having difficulty keeping up. I could not help the small swell of pride that I felt in my chest at her speed. My mate was strong and capable, she truly was a wolf to marvel at, making her name all the more fitting.

I wanted nothing more than to run to her and join her as she explored the woods, weaving in and out of the trees as we went. But I knew that she was out here for the same reason that I had been. She wanted to clear her head. I could not take that away from her. So, I allowed her and Aida to continue their run without me. I returned to the pack house and dressed myself. Then without even thinking too much about my plan, I hid in amongst the undergrowth, hoping that they would not find me. I blocked my scent. I would wait for her to return.

They had been gone for quite some time, but I was determined to wait. I need to see her, to smell her. I knew that what I was doing could be considered creepy, but I could not help myself.

When they finally returned, I looked away while they shifted and dressed. I did not want this to come off any creepier than it already was. As they walked back towards the pack house, I overheard them talking about going to the Wolf’s Den after eating. I knew what I had to do then.

So, I hurried inside through another door of the house. I went into the small kitchen that my family were the main ones to use, that way I would not risk running into them. I made a quick sandwich and then rushed to get ready. Once I was dressed more appropriately, I headed to the Wolf’s Den. I ordered myself a whiskey and went straight upstairs. I had no intentions of interacting with anyone there. I just wanted to sit where the loft overlooked the majority of the bar below. Then I watched and waited.

When Marvel finally entered the club, I smelt her before I saw her. I felt instantly relaxed when her scent wafted over me, making me feel at home. When she came into view, I felt even better. She looked so beautiful, letting her raven hair drape freely over her exposed shoulders. How I wanted to pull her in close and wrap her up in my arms.

I wanted to tell her that I did not need twenty-four hours. That I wanted her here and now. That I would do what she asked of me and be the best mate that I could possibly be. But I still questioned myself. I knew that I loved her, but could I control myself, could I behave how a mate needed to behave. Could I be with her and only her for the rest of my life?

I hated myself for even questioning such a thing. But I did not want to take the risk of hurting Marvel if I was not one hundred percent certain. I did not want to cause her more pain than I already had. My father assured me, many times, that once you marked your mate and completed the bond, that it would all change. That my mate would become the only female that I truly desired. But what if he was wrong? What if I just did not have monogamy in me?

My breath hitched as I watched Marvel dancing below. She was like a vision. I knew that she did not know that I was there, but I could not help the feeling that she was dancing just for me and only for me. I watched as several wolves approached her, hoping to gain her attention and the possibility of laying their grimy paws on her gorgeous body. I had to suppress the urge to growl each time, but my fears were instantly quieted as Marvel sent each one of them away. She really was perfect.

Awhile later, Tyrus and Daray arrived. Marvel and Aida went to greet them, but I stayed put. I knew that Marvel was trying to do her best to forget right now, based off the copious amounts of alcohol that I had seen her consuming. I did not want to upset her any further. Several minutes later, Marvel escaped from view before I smelt her scent begin to fade away. I knew that she had left, so I finally got up and wandered downstairs.

“Oh, there you are.” Tyrus remarked as I made my way over to them.

“Yeah. I was just trying to stay out of Marvel’s way.” I sighed.

At the mention of Marvel, Daray hurried over to the bar and ordered us each a couple rounds of shots. I smiled to myself, appreciating that my friend knew what I needed right now.

“That was probably the best idea.” Tyrus shrugged, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “She really freaked out when I mentioned that I thought you were here.”

“You told her?” I growled.

“Sorry man. I did not realize that you were keeping your distance. To be fair, you didn’t really tell me what you were doing here.”

I swallowed my anger when I realized that he was right. I had told him where I was but did not tell him why; I think a part of me was embarrassed about stalking my mate like I was. But I needed to be near her. Her presence was the only thing that was able to relieve that constant aching in my chest.

I threw back several of the shots, one right after the other. I wanted to feel the buzz of alcohol running through my veins. I knew that my time was running short, and I needed to decide if I could be the wolf that my mate needed me to be. I knew that my answer was not at the bottom of a glass, but that did not mean that I could not try.