SWNOVELS Chapter 7
CHAPTER 7
“It’s about breathing. Once you can control your breathing and be able to relax your body with your breathing, you can focus on your inner self and connect your mind, your soul and your animal spirit.” Kestrel says this so nonchalantly, that I almost believe it is that simple to accomplish. But hearing someone talk about meditating opposed to implementing this task, yeah no. Disaster is inevitable!
Kestrel and I are sitting on the floor and she is explaining to me how to sit, legs crossed, spine vertical, (no slouching!), eyes closed, index finger and thumb pressed together on both hands and then the air that is already in my body is to be released fully before beginning the breathing process of deep breaths in and exhaled slowly out until I feel as though I’m about to fall asleep. When I hit the point of feeling like I could fall asleep, I should be able to feel my phoenix fluttering about like butterfly wings in my stomach.
And you know what? She is right! I can feel the fluttering and it feels really weird. It also feels like my phoenix knows I am trying to connect to her and the butterfly wings fluttering turn rapidly into bird wings thrashing against cage bars as she screeches to be let free. The world around me goes quiet as I attempt to connect with the phoenix. No longer can I hear Kestrel speaking, nor can I hear Ash and Lori chatting quietly amongst themselves. All I can hear is the phoenix asking to be freed and I agree with her. She has as much right to this body as I do...
“No! Don’t Sofia!”
“Sofie, stop!”
“NO!”
Vaguely as if in another room, I can hear Kestrel, Lori and Ash in that order shout out to me, but it is too late. The phoenix burst from within, igniting my body in fire, a burst of light flashes from my eyes which are now a golden hue, and my mind is not my own. I see as the phoenix, tilting my head left and right taking in the room around me. The humans who seem to know the Sofia within me, but I won’t allow her to reach out to them. I am free and that is all that matters!
I watch as one of the humans tries to touch this body of flames and I know somehow that if this particular human touches me, I will be reined in faster than a lightning-bolt. And that just cannot happen, not after all this time of being locked away. I stumble backwards as I try to avoid him. Suddenly I can feel the human within me trying to get back in control of this shell. I scream in agony as I feel her fighting me and too late, I feel the male place his hand upon my arm and like a blanket being tossed onto a fire to douse it, I am back in my cage. I release a howl of sadness just before the cage door is shut in my face and a tear falls down my cheek.
I feel my body being crushed against a chest of solid muscle and have to hit the arms that have surrounded me to be released so that I can breathe. “Stars to the heaven Ash! What in the world are you trying to do to me?” I look baffled as I shove myself away from him. “What the heck?”
“Are you serious Sofia? Do you not know what just happened?” He stares at me stunned and as I take a look at Lori and Kestrel, I see them giving me the same look as well.
“Um, well...” I really have no idea but I’m trying to think of what I was doing before I felt Ash crushing me against him. “I was meditating and attempting to connect with the phoenix... Did I not do it right?” I look back at all of them curiously.
“Oh, no! You connected with her alright.” Lori pats me a couple of times on the shoulder, and I turn my gaze to look at her questioningly.
But it wasn’t her who continues; “you connected with her but none of us realized how strong she is.” Kestrel stated. “She took over your body almost instantaneously!” She adds stunned, “I have never witnessed such a fast and powerful transformation before. It was mind blowing.”
“Oh... So, is this a bad thing that she was able to take control of me so quickly?” They are all shaking their heads no, but I feel as though they are lying but I don’t know why they would.
“It’s not a bad thing per se, but we will need to figure out a way to ease into the connection so that she isn’t so quick to take over. We want her to understand that you guys are a unit and need to be able to share the space given to you guys.” Kestrel replies thoughtfully. “I think we will end today’s session. You should go home and rest so that you aren’t completely drained of energy otherwise, you may find yourself unable to function tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I say but feel lost and not okay at all. Watching Ash and Lori, I see them grab their belongings and begin to walk towards the entrance. Picking my phone up from the floor, I dash after them. “Hey, wait up! What’s going on? How come you guys want to leave so quickly?” They both seem lost in thought as I catch up to them, like they had completely forgotten I was here. Just weird.
After we pile into Ash’s Jeep Renegade, he drives back through the barrier and back to my house. While he is driving, I must have drifted to sleep. I can hear Lori say that she can’t stay because she has something to do with her parents and Ash tell her that it is okay. I hear both of their doors shut and then Ash is opening my front passenger door and scooping up into his arms. And as he has done in the past, he carries me into my house. I feel him gently place me upon my bed and then the mattress shifts a little as he gets up and I assume he leaves my room. I want to shout after him not to leave me alone, but I just don’t have the energy to do so.
Succumbing to the darkness, I am unsure how long I have been sleeping before I find myself in the same dream, I have been having for longer than I care to admit. The wind whips at my light brown hair, yanking and tugging every which way. The screeching that flies with the wind feels like it is shredding my eardrums and I try desperately to cover my ears with my hands in an attempt to block the atrocity. “Why! Why do you keep doing this to me? What do you want from me Blake?” Leaves whirl around about the ground as though dancing to music I cannot hear, and I am losing my patience waiting for Blake to appear.
Finally, he lands at my feet before he shifts from his eagle form to his human body. As I glare at him though, I realize there is something not quite right about him. The person before me looks like Blake but about twenty years older. I stare in confusion at this imposter. “Dear girl, Blake does not have the power that I do. He is just a child. Have you not figured out who I am yet? Have your parents never mentioned me?”
I shake my head no. “My parents never mentioned anything about the world of Tenebrosity. They were under the impression that I did not have shifter abilities and were told to raise me in the world of humans. So, who are you if you are not Blake?” I do my best to keep my voice firm as I say this to the stranger, but I fear that it began to waver towards the end of my words.
The man has the nerve to chuckle at me. “And here I thought they knew exactly what you were and were trying to hide you from our world... that is an interesting story though. I will ask them when next I visit with them.”
“Don’t you dare hurt them! I will find them and if they have been harmed in the slightest, I will come after you myself! I don’t care who you are!” As I shout this at him, the wind shifts, and dark clouds quickly cover the sky. Lightning flashes and thunder crashes as my anger rises. My phoenix is barely contained, and I feel my body temperature getting hotter. For just a second, I see fear flicker in his eyes but then he shifts forms, flaps his massive wings and flies off. The last thing I hear before I wake up is him laughing, the evilest thing I think I have ever heard.
I scream out as I wake up, frustrated that I didn’t get to find out who the guy was. At some point Ash must have come to lie with me because I feel his arms slip around me and draw me into his embrace. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did you have another bad dream?”
My head is against his chest, and I move it in the up and down motion without moving from him. “It was slightly different this time though, my confrontation with Blake wasn’t with Blake this time but someone who looked almost exactly like him, just older, like his father maybe... and when he spoke to me, he made it seem like my parents had lied to me and that they knew I was the phoenix and was trying to hide me away from the world of Tenebrosity.”
“I wouldn’t put too much thought into what the guy said to you. But I will suggest that you visit with Charlie. I don’t know much about the Tama family and maybe she could share some insight on them.” I feel Ash move his shoulders against my head as though shrugging, unsure of his own advice. Ash maneuvers us so that we are lying down in the bed and shortly after I fall back to sleep. Thankfully, for the rest of the night there are no more nightmares or dreams.