Slain

Hold me down, I’m so tired now

Aim your arrow at the sky

Take me down, I’m too tired now

Leave me where I lie

I thought I was flying

But maybe I’m dying tonight

–Sky Full of Song, Florence + The Machine

<><><>

The next two days go by agonizingly slow. I’ll admit, Fluffy does his best to give me space after everything he told me, but there’s only so much space you can get while being locked in a room together. The tension between us grows thick and more than once he tries to ease it. I shut him down quickly. I’m too frustrated with my options to do anything but sulk.

Akira stops by multiple times a day, brining our meals along with updates on how things are going and what alpha’s have arrived. I get the feeling that he’s not supposed to be telling us anything, which makes me appreciate his efforts even though the information doesn’t help us much.

Sleep has been eluding me since Fluffy explained the bonding ceremony. I get even more irritated with Fluffy seeing that he sleeps with no problem and occasionally kick him if he gets too close to my side. Unfortunately, he never wakes up.

My eyes sting from lack of sleep as I stare out the window, watching the wolves mill about. The sound of pages turning tickles my ears and grates on my nerves. If these stupid alphas don’t hurry up and get here, I’m going to strangle Fluffy.

A quick knock on the door sends me to my feet, eager for any distraction. The door swings open and Akira waltzes in with a tray of food in his hands. The wolves guarding our door pull it shut behind him, locking him in with us.

“What’s going on out there?” I ask as he sets the tray down on the small side table by the door. Fluffy is now standing as well, the book he had been reading thrown carelessly on the bed.

Akira glances between us as if sensing the tension. “The last alpha has arrived. Your trial will be held at noon today.”

Fear clutches my chest and I have to sit down as my breathing increases. I’m only hours away from being sentenced to death.

Akira and Fluffy watch me with worried expressions. I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Akira says gently. “The alpha’s want to make sure you aren’t a threat. Our wolves will vouch for you.”

“I appreciate his words, but they do little to ease my fears. “I’m just ready for this stupid thing to be over.”

“It will be soon,” Fluffy promises.

I roll my eyes and turn back to the window in irritation. “I’d feel better if you’d leave me alone.”

An uncomfortable silence spreads through the room like a fog and a bit of guilt settles in my chest.

“I’d better go before anyone gets suspicious…” Akira mutters, turning to the door.

“Thanks,” I call after him. He gives me a tight smile, eyes flicking to Fluffy as he closes the door behind him.

I stare out the window as the silence boils around me, Fluffy’s eyes boring into me. He’s so silent, I’d think he left with Akira if I could feel him watching me.

“We have to seem like we like each other during the trial.” His voice is gruff and cold, finally tired of my attitude apparently.

“Fine.”

“It would help if you would actually talk to me,” he huffs impatiently.

I turn around to face him slowly. “Alright. Talk about what? About how today might be the day that I die? Or how about if I, by some miracle, get a pardon by the alphas, then I’ll be forced to live with wolves for the rest of my life?”

He presses his lips into a tight line, his brow set in a scowl. “Alright. Keep moping, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“Right, because they wouldn’t dare punish another wolf. They only hold leonae accountable for wolves’ actions,” I spit. He glowers at me from across the room and I can tell I hit a nerve.

“The only reason you’re getting a trial is because I’m a wolf and I claimed you as my mate,” he grinds out, hands clenched at his sides. “If I hadn’t, they would have killed you the moment they found you.”

“Oh, I apologize,” I get up and bow dramatically. “Thank you for saving my miserable life.”

He sneers at me. “I don’t want you to thank me.”

“No? Then what do you want?” I hold his gaze, challenging him to take the bait. I want to argue; I want to release the building frustration.

“I want you to grow up.” His words bite through me and I flinch. Regret floods his expression, loosening his brows and softening his eyes. “I’m sorry, that was harsh.”

I avert my eyes, swallowing hard. I got what I wanted, but it wasn’t as satisfying as I had hoped. Actually, it was the opposite, it only made me feel worse. And his regret on intensifies it.

“No, you’re right,” I mutter, surprising even myself.

Silence stretches between us once again. I can feel his gaze on me, but I’m afraid to meet it this time.

“I’m scared,” I admit. “And frustrated.”

“I won’t let them kill you,” Fluffy states, his voice hard. “They will pardon you.” He pauses and then, as if knowing that’s not enough, he adds, “and if they don’t, I’ll help you escape. You can see if the stories about The Wasteland are really true.”

I finally meet his eyes, a small smile tugging at my lips, and nod in agreement. His promise gives me the confidence to end my pity party and face the trial.

<><><>

Eight wolves collect us from our room and usher us through the pack halls. As we approach the door to the great hall, Fluffy slips his hand in mine, startling me. I glance up at him, but he acts as if nothing happened. The doors open and we’re marched inside before I can question it.

Walking into the room of alphas, I’m glad to have Fluffy’s hand. The room is nearly suffocating with the power radiating from each wolf and I stagger under the shock of it. Twelve men sit at the large mahogany table that stretches across the room. Each is accompanied by another wolf who sits a few paces behind them; I assume them to be the betas.

They all watch me with varying degrees of disgust. All except Slate who tries to avoid looking at me directly and Scruffy who keeps his gaze locked on Fluffy. Behind Scruffy, in the betas’ position sits the captain. He watches me with narrowed eyes as we come to a stop.

The wolves step away from us, taking positions along the walls. I meet eyes with each alpha and beta, not letting them know how terrified I really am. The only indication of my nerves is the tight grip I have on Fluffy’s hand.

“So, this is the female Slayer?” the alpha with pale blond hair asks skeptically.

“This is Jack, the female Slayer,” Scruffy says with a nod, introducing me. He meets my eyes, a warning in them: watch yourself.

“She seems too small to be any threat,” an alpha with long, tangled black hair says, his green eyes looking me up and down. I want to argue but bite my tongue. This isn’t the place to prove I’m threatening.

My eyes flick to a large umber skinned alpha who has been studying me carefully. “She has the mark?”

“I’ve never seen it, so I can’t confirm that,” Scruffy responds. All eyes look to Fluffy for an answer.

“I do.” I speak up before Fluffy can. He squeezes my hand in warning, but I ignore it. If they want to know about me, they can ask me.

An alpha with striking blue eyes scoffs. “She acts like one.” He leans forward in his seat. “Let me give you a bit of advice, cat. Don’t speak unless we ask you to.”

I glare at him but hold my tongue.

“Where is it?” the large alpha asks, directing the question at me.

“On my right shoulder blade.”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, four wolves move from their places on the wall to my side, grabbing my arms and pushing me forward. Fluffy snarls at them, moving as if he’s going to stop them, but two wolves grab his arms and hold him back.

They turn me around and yank the neck of my shirt down to expose my mark. The wolves mutter nervously behind me.

“The choice is obvious,” one of the alphas snaps. I’m released and I shrug my shirt into place, turning back to face the alphas. “We kill her. We had an agreement with the Leonae. Allowing her to live is an act of war.”

“I hardly think that one female is enough to go to war over,” the large alpha replies nonchalantly.

The blond alpha looks me over with distaste. “Maybe not, but if she’s alive, then how many others could there be?”

I shift nervously.

“Now you want to go to war with the Leonae?” The wolf with striking blue eyes asks. “Have you seen them lately? Their numbers are at an all time low, they’re weak. We have no reason to worry about them.”

“We have to do something. They need to know that there are consequences when they don’t keep their word.”

“No one knew I was a slayer except my parents,” I interrupt. If they go to war with the Leonae, we’ll be wiped out. I need to keep this as contained as possible.

“No? Then we can execute the parents with her.” The blue-eyed wolf says, leaning back in his seat as if he’s solved all their problems.

I glare at him. “My father is dead.”

“Your mother then. She’s still alive?” He asks.

I clench my jaw shut, which he takes as a yes.

“Alright then. A mother and daughter execution it is.” He glances to the wolves beside him for confirmation.

“You won’t execute her,” Fluffy states lowly. “She’s my mate, you can’t.”

An alpha with dark hair and olive skin speaks up, quirking an eyebrow. “A leonae, werewolf pairing isn’t possible.”

“We don’t know that for sure,” Scruffy cuts in, speaking up for the first time. “You should know better than any of us that record keeping isn’t our strong suit.”

The wolf sinks in his chair at Scruffy’s words, glowering at the back wall.

“We have no reason to think it’s possible,” the blue-eyed wolf says dismissively.

“If she is my mate and you kill her, you’ll be violating pack law,” Fluffy points out.

The alphas glance between one another, apparently not liking the idea of breaking their most sacred law. I chew on the inside of my cheek, watching their eyes flick back and forth.

“She isn’t a wolf, so it wouldn’t be a violation,” the green-eyed alpha finally decides.

“But I’m a wolf and she’s my mate,” Fluffy argues, his hands are clenched tightly at his sides as he tries to control his anger.

By the way his stance widens, and his eyes darken, I know that he’s prepared to fight.

“She hasn’t done anything to deserve death.” Slate meets my eyes, his expression full of sympathy. I avert my gaze, my anger at him for tattling on us too potent to appreciate his sympathy.

“Her existence is enough,” the blond alpha sneers, leveling his gaze with mine. My palms grow slick and hot.

“I heard she killed at least seven of Damon’s wolves,” the blue-eyed wolf adds.

My mouth drops open in astonishment. “That was self-defense! I didn’t just go on a rampage and start killing wolves!”

“But you admit to killing seven wolves yourself?”

“No, I didn’t kill all of them myself, I had help.”

The wolves scoff, only Scruffy and Slate seem open to the possibility that I was aided. “Help from another slayer?”

“Why don’t you explain what happened,” Scruffy interjects before I can argue.

I take a slow breath, glancing back at Fluffy, knowing he’s not going to like what I have to say. I’m half afraid he’ll throw a tantrum.

“Damon took me by force to his pack and put me in an arena, by force, to fight to the death. I refused to kill the human boy he put in the arena with me,” one of the wolves snorts in disbelief, but I ignore it. “So, he sent in seven wolves. It was either be torn apart by his wolves or defend myself.”

“You expect us to believe that?” The blue-eyed wolf laughs. “I forgot how good you cats are at lying.”

Fluffy snarls, stepping forward, but the wolves standing around the room grab him before he can take another step.

I put my hands out to stop Fluffy, attempting to contain the anger radiating from him. Surprisingly, it works.

“What’s on your hands?” Fluffy asks, squinting at my outstretched palms.

I flip my hands over, seeing the swirling markings that the seer left behind. “It’s from the seer,” I shrug.

“Let me see,” one of the alpha’s demand and hands are suddenly on me, dragging me toward the table of alphas. My hands are forced palm up on the sleek mahogany where the alpha’s lean over them in silence.

Finally, the large wolf’s eyes flick to mine as he mutters, “she’s been marked by the seer.”

“So?” I ask in confusion. The alphas sit back in their seats, a mixture of disbelief and brooding scowls on their faces.

“They can’t kill you,” Fluffy answers smugly.

I look between the alphas, searching for the truth. They seriously can’t kill me because a seer left some swirls on my hands?

“What do we do now?” The blue-eyed alpha asks.

“We can’t harm her, we have to let her free,” the large alpha answers begrudgingly.

“Or,” the blond alpha starts. “We can force them to complete the bonding ceremony. If they aren’t mates—which they aren’t—they’ll die from trying and it won’t be our fault.”

I can hear Fluffy behind me struggling against the wolves restraining him. “No, we will wait for the full moon. We deserve every curtesy any other pair gets.”

The alphas are about to disagree when Slate cuts in. “What’s the harm in letting them wait for the full moon? The female can be kept under close watch until then. That way, if they truly are mates, they were given a proper ceremony.”

The wolves grumble to themselves for a few minutes before agreeing. “Fine. Let’s hurry up and get this over with; I’m tired of smelling it.” The blue-eyed alpha sneers.

I bite my lip, resisting the urge to tear this guy a new one.

“Then it’s settled. They will have their bonding ceremony in three weeks and until then, the Leonae will be under constant surveillance.” Scruffy gives me quick a relieved smile before standing.

“Now get it out of here,” the blue-eyed wolf mutters, waving me away.

The wolves still gripping my arms turn me around and march me out of the great hall and back to the room Fluffy and I had been held in for the last few days. They shove me inside and Fluffy follows shortly after before the door is slammed shut and we’re left alone.

“I can’t believe they’re letting me live,” I laugh. Relief floods through me as I stare down at my palms.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your hands?” Fluffy asks frowning.

I’m caught off guard by his lack of enthusiasm at my second chance at life. “I guess I forgot about it,” I shrug. Does it really matter?

“You just forgot?”

“Yeah, I mean, you were mad at me and-”

“And that bothered you?”

I jerk back, appalled at the idea. “No, I just...” I pause to collect my thoughts, my eyes wondering around the room. “So, what if it did?” I finally snap, realizing I have no better explanation.

He hides a smile. “Never mind. I’m just glad it’s there.”

“Me too,” I mutter, confused by his behavior. Deciding to ignore it for now, I throw myself down on the bed. “So, now what? I have to stay locked in this room for three weeks?”

“No.” He sits down on the edge of the bed. “Once the alphas leave, you can leave. You’ll have to be escorted, but at least you can go just about anywhere you want.”

I sigh. That’s the most I can ask for, I guess. “And then what? We just...prepare for the ceremony?” The idea of the ceremony still makes me uncomfortable. I’m not ready to go through with this marking stuff. As much as I’ve grown to accept Fluffy, I’m not ready to bind my life to his or die trying and I don’t think he’s going to change my mind in three weeks.

“Yes. That’s all we can do at this point,” he

shrugs.

“Great...”

<><><>

“You have got to be kidding me,” I choke out, nearly inhaling the food in my mouth.

“I wouldn’t kid about this,” Selah says with furrowed brows. “The tours are an important tradition.”

I shake my head as I sip some water. “No, I mean they seriously expect me to follow through with all of this wolf stuff in front of an audience? That’s ridiculous!”

Selah gives me a sympathetic smile as she sits forward in her seat. “I can’t begin to imagine how strange our culture is to you; I wish we didn’t have to force it on you like this, but the alphas won’t give you any other choice.”

“Right,” I mutter, picking at my food.

“It’s not Ajax’s fault,” she points out. It’s as if she knows exactly how I feel.

I huff in frustration. “Maybe not, but I can’t help thinking he’s at least partially responsible.”

“How?”

“He claimed me.” I meet Selah’s gaze, trying to ignore the sorrow in her expression.

“It was his right,” she breaths out, her eyebrows drawn together in disbelief. “Do you still have doubts?”

I drop my fork on my plate and rub my hands over my face, leaning back in my seat as I try to find the right words. “I don’t know. That’s the problem, I don’t know. I have no idea if he’s my mate or not—I don’t even know what that’s supposed to feel like!”

“Do you have any feelings for him at all?” Concern is written across her face as she studies my expression.

I think for a second, remembering when he found me in the woods after I escaped Damon, remembering when he comforted me after seeing Damon’s destroyed pack, and remembering his promise to help me escape if I wasn’t pardoned. “I care about him but that doesn’t mean I’m his mate.”

Selah seems comforted by this revelation. “I don’t expect you to be madly in love with him, that’s not how the bond works. So long as you stay open to the possibility that you could be mates, everything will be fine.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“The mate bond is fickle; it’s different for every couple. Most wolves aren’t in love with each other by the time they complete the bond, that comes later.”

I scrunch my face up in confusion. “Then what is the bond?”

She sighs, sitting back and looking off at the wall behind me. “It’s hard to explain. The bond isn’t what makes a pair love or even care for each other. The bond only strengthens it. It takes what is there and amplifies it—makes it much stronger.” She meets my eyes. “For wolves, that type of relationship is crucial. We’re pack animals and we’re very close with one another, so the bond needs to be even more intimate.”

“Okay…” I mutter, thinking through what she’s said. “So, it just makes whatever you feel for the other person much stronger?”

“In the most basic sense, yes.” She seems to notice the apprehension in my expression. “It’s much easier for us to jump into the relationship because we grow up expecting it to happen. Ajax understands that you weren’t raised like us and that it will take you time to become adjusted.”

I scoff at that. “So, my only choice is to accept the bond?”

Selah frowns, shaking her head. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t.”

“Because it’s not my choice? Because I don’t want things decided for me?” My voice raises as my anger is rekindled. “I don’t want some wolf goddess deciding who I should love when I don’t even believe in her.”

“Whether the moon goddess decided this for you or not is irrelevant. The alphas have decided that you will complete the marking on the next full moon whether you’re mates or not. If I were you, I’d start coming to terms with the bond now.”

“So, you would just roll over and let the alphas dictate your life?”

She doesn’t so much as blink at the insult in my words. “That’s exactly what I would do because I know my place. Now you need to learn yours.” She stands from her seat and strides to the doorway, pausing to look back at me over her shoulder. “You’re fighting the wrong battle. I think you should take a step back and look at the big picture.” And with that, I’m left to stew on my own.

She’s right about the alphas, they’ve decided I’m to complete the marking, but I still have a choice. I could run away. I could make a break for The Wasteland. They wouldn’t follow me in there; it’s too risky. I could leave all of this behind and make a new life for myself. The idea is appealing, even with the high risk of death, because it’s my decision. No one would be forcing me to do it. And that’s why I decide it’s the best thing to do.

With my mind made up, I jump to my feet and rush to the wardrobe. If I want to get everything ready, I need to move quickly. I have no idea when Fluffy will be back and if I want to escape by nightfall, I’ve got to figure out a way around the guards.

I begin tossing clothes into a bag, searching through the drawers for any type of weapon I could take with me. In the bathroom I find strips of cloth that I could use for bandages, so I toss them in, preparing for the worst. I’m coming back into the room to do a final sweep when the door swings open. I kick the bag under the wardrobe before turning to face the door. Fluffy backs in, still talking to someone in the hallway.

“It’ll be done, I promise,” he assures the person before turning into the room and closing the door. He lets out a breath of relief.

“Everything okay?” I ask, taking in his tired expression.

“The pack is in a panic because of the upcoming tours,” he mutters, dragging a hand down his face. “With all of the attacks happening, some wolves are worried the tours aren’t a good idea and want them postponed. The alphas disagree and want to continue with tradition,” he sits on the edge of the bed and takes his boots off. “So, to appease those that have safety concerns, all of the packs are doubling their patrols. Communicating with the other packs is exhausting.”

“What exactly are the tours?”

He sits on the bed, shoulders slumped forward with exhaustion. “Every year one pack travels between the other twelve with their unmated wolves and a few mated pairs. They stay at each pack for a week, allowing the wolves to find their mates. At the end of the week there’s a big celebration and the newly found pairs complete the first part of the bond.”

“That sounds miserable,” I mutter, glad I’ll be gone by then.

“Also, the alphas have requested we have a meal with them before they all depart.” He rubs a hand down his face like the idea of a meal with the alphas adds more weight to the burdens he’s already carrying.

“Another dinner?” I groan. “When?”

“Tonight.”