SWNOVELS Sinful Crown: Chapter 18
I’m staring at the open suitcase, wondering what in the world my hands are doing. As if under a spell, I just walked back to my room and pulled out the black duffle that housed my belongings on the trip that forever changed me.
I’m a different woman than the one who got on that plane in Colorado. Somehow, Jason Crown has pulled out a side of me that is selfish and needy. One that doesn’t care what the cost is, and that wants something for her and her alone. For once in her goddamn life.
It’s like she’d been locked up, always trying to do the right thing and play the right role. But for once, she’s been set free—stealing moments with a man that doesn’t belong to her. And god, how I want to see more of her. But the real question is, should I?
I’m about to throw the duffel across the room when my phone rings. Needing the distraction, I practically run to it and answer on a rushed breath. “Hello?”
“Girl! Please tell me you sound winded because that daddy of yours just finished giving you a workup.”
“Mel. It’s good to hear from you,” I droll, unamused by my best friend’s rhetoric.
“Seriously, Mila. What’s up?”
“What do you mean?”
“My bestie Spidey sense was tingling.” I can practically hear her brow arching from here.
“You do know you aren’t normal, right? How do you even do that? Like that one time I’d broken down on the side of the road. You were dead asleep and somehow you knew something was wrong.”
“Yup. I remember. I called you and then my brother.”
I let out a throaty chuckle. “God. Poor Erickson. He looked like he was in the middle of a date.”
“Don’t you worry about him. For a guy who spends all his time in the woods, he sure does see a lot of action.”
“Oh my god, Melissa! How can you talk about your brother like that?!”
“Easy. He’s way older than me so we didn’t grow up together. He’s more like a friend. Anyway, don’t change the subject. What’s going on? And don’t lie. Remember. I’m a human lie detector.”
“That’s for sure.” I snort. “Ugh, so you know how I have my business transaction?”
“Yes. We texted about it last night and you still hadn’t rejected Your Daddy. Did the two million not go through?”
“I haven’t checked…” I fidget with a strand of hair, letting awkward silence descend before Mel breaks it with her dramatics.
“You haven’t checked? You. Haven’t. Checked. Girl! That’s two-fucking-million! What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing. Well, Jason came into my room last night and it sort of made me forget everything else.”
“He what?! Mila, you better start spilling the tea or I’m coming through this line and pulling you all the way back to Colorado so you can tell me that in person.”
“About that… I might be leaving for Colorado in a couple of hours.”
“Woman! You’re killing me!”
“I know. I know.” I blow out a raspberry, gathering the strength to let her in on the past twenty-four hours. “Okay, so a lot has happened, but long story short—Jason and I have admitted to each other that we have romantic feelings for one another.”
Sharp squealing on the line has me pulling the phone away from my ear, only placing it back once the sound has died down. “—have to explain everything from the start!”
“I’d be here all day if I did, but I’ll give you the cliff notes. Even though we admitted that to each other, we are both in agreement that nothing could ever come of it. Well. He is. Or was.” I stop breathing. I can’t believe I’m about to say this. One—Two— “I-gave-him-a-blowie-and-he-let-me.”
Full-on screeching has commenced, and I definitely have to remove the phone from my ear. It isn’t until a full minute later that the noise dies down enough for me to see if Melissa is still coherent.
“Mila, I swear to god you better have not hung up on me!”
“No, girl. I’m still here. Just trying to preserve my hearing, that’s all.”
“Ahhh! I can’t believe you gave your first blowie! How was it? How was he? Did you like it? Is it huge? I bet it’s huge. He looks like he’s got that big dick energy.” She’s talking so fast, it’s a miracle she can breathe through it all.
“He’s blessed, and that’s all I’ll say on that front.” I fight a giggle as Mel lets out a noise of frustration. “Anyway, things got complicated after that.”
“Naturally. So, what are you going to do? Does he want to take things further? Is he going to stop dating your mom?”
I groan, throwing myself back onto the bed. “Ugh. What a mess I’ve made of things. I shouldn’t be making him choose, and I’m not going to. Even though I want him with every fiber of my being, and he clearly wants me too, it isn’t right. And technically, I don’t know what he wants now. I sort of ran out of the room after the deed was done. I mean Mel, he was pretty clear with what he wanted, and it was to keep me as his eventual stepdaughter.”
“So how does all this play into you possibly coming back home?”
“Well, get this. About thirty minutes after I did irreversible damage to our relationship, one of his security guys came into my room and told me we were leaving and asked if I had any luggage he wanted me to load. So I go to ask Jason what he was talking about, and I walk into him with my mother looking all cozy.”
“Oh, hell no. That trifling ho!”
“No, Mel. I’m the ho.” I groan into a pillow. How is this my life?
“You are most definitely not a ho. You are the embodiment of chastity. Or you were, up until you ran into Daddy Dearest.” She cackles uncontrollably, making me openly glare at the receiver.
“Excuse me. But I don’t think any of this is hilarious.”
She’s catching her breath and slowing her hysterical laughter. “No. No, it isn’t. It’s just the irony. You know why I picked your alias name, right?”
“You mean Jessa?”
“Yes, Jessa. I chose it because you’d undoubtedly be paired with an older guy. One who’d love to take your cherry. Well, Jessa Kane is one of my favorite authors of all time. And get this… all she writes is age gap daddy kink novellas!” She cackles again. “Oh god. I did this. It was my doing!”
I’m rolling my eyes and shaking my head. “Did what, Melissa? I’m not following here.”
“I gave you the name and now you have your real life Daddy. Duh. All you need is your happily ever after. It’s called manifesting, Mila. Look it up.”
I’m still shaking my head, wondering how in the heck I became friends with this basket case I love so much. “Aaaaaanyway. I walked in on them all cozy. I got mad and almost walked back out, but I needed confirmation about this trip we were supposedly taking. Turns out his brother is getting married in the next town over to ours. Jason practically demanded I go, and get this—even stood up to Catherine when she tried to say I wasn’t going.” My voice quakes on that last bit, and I know Mel doesn’t miss it.
“Oh, Mila. Get your ass home. And if you need a rock, I’ll be there for you. No questions asked. You said it’s the next town over, right?”
“Yes, but I don’t know if I should be going. He belongs with my mother. She’s carrying his child, and I still need to figure out how to return the two million if it did in fact go through.”
“Just because two people have a child together doesn’t mean they have to be together romantically. Co-parenting is very much a thing now.” She’s saying this like I don’t have a clue, but I’m the product of co-parenting and I can safely say, it sucks donkey balls.
“I know they don’t have to, Mel, but I want to give my brother or sister a fighting chance at a normal childhood. The one I never got.”
“I still think you should go and see what happens. Everything is so new, and last we spoke, you said they weren’t even sharing a room yet. The way I see it, he’s still up for grabs.”
My mouth is hanging open now. “You’re talking about him like he’s the last pack of Little Debbies on the shelf.”
“No, girl. He’s the last box of Godiva, and you’re a damn fool if you don’t scoop it up for yourself.”
I clutch the phone tighter, knowing she’s right. What I feel for Jason is special, and I know that if I let this go, there’s a very real chance I’ll never get to feel this again. On a whispered breath, I make the choice. “Fine. Guess I’ll be seeing you soon.”
More squealing ensues, but thankfully she keeps the outburst short this time, saving my poor eardrums. “I cannot wait to see you two together.”
“We aren’t together, Mel.”
“No, I know. I meant in the same room. You know how good I am at reading people. Anyway, send me the addy when you get a chance. Good thing you left me the Civic, although I’m not sure it’ll make the trek over the mountain.”
“She’ll be good to you. Just make sure the water levels are good before you leave.” Butterflies stir in my stomach at the idea of seeing Melissa. Being with both of them in the same room almost makes it more real.
This whole time it has felt like a dream. An unreal situation that I’ve landed in but will somehow wake up from.
Being around Melissa is like looking in a mirror. She lets nothing slide, always telling it like it is.
“Got it. Full tank of fluids.” Another squeal, before she’s blowing air kisses. “See you soon, girl. Got to go shopping. Can’t meet my future brother-in-law in the same ol’ rags I’ve been wearing, you know.”
I chuckle. “You know you don’t need an excuse to go shopping. I swear, you alone could sustain Hailey’s boutique.”
“You know me. I have to shop local! Well, that and Amazon Prime doesn’t have same day delivery up in the boonies.” She groans into the line. “One of these days I’ll leave and never come back. Okay, maybe only to visit you and the beautiful babies you and that daddy will be popping out.”
“Oh my god, Melissa! I’m cutting the line. I swear, you say the craziest shit.”
“That’s why you love me, babe!”
“You’d like to think that.” I roll my eyes and end the call, unwilling to hear any more salacious comments from my friend.
Yes, they may be crazy, but if I were telling myself the truth, I like the way they sound.
I’m rolling over, putting the phone on the nightstand when my eyes land on the small red box sitting on my vanity.
The memory of Jason placing it there last night replays in my head and I swear my heart beats overtime.
I haven’t opened it. I’m too chicken shit to.
Gathering some of Melissa’s enthusiasm, I walk over to the offending box, pushing it with my index finger as if it were to suddenly come to life and attack me.
Of course, it just sits there. It’s an inanimate object.
Finally sucking it up, I reach out and undo the gold latch keeping it closed, my breath hitching with what I see.
It’s the Cartier love ring. It’s the love ring.
His meaning couldn’t be clearer. But still, what does this mean for us? He didn’t say things would be different when we spoke last night.
You didn’t give him a chance. Your ass kicked him out, then blew him and ran.
Ugh. The devil on my shoulder makes sense. Or maybe it’s the angel, pointing me toward the happily ever after Mel was talking about.
Fuck it. As I slide the gold band onto my index finger, I tell myself that I deserve this. I deserve to at least try. Whatever comes of this, fairy tale ending or fall out from hell, I’ll deal with it then. But for now, I’m taking the leap.