SWNOVELS Sinful: Chapter 49
I stepped into the living room to see Ashes standing at the table and Church on the couch.
Neither of those things did I care about.
It was my girl lying half-naked on the table that got me.
“She’s pretty, isn’t she?” Church stood and moved to his chair before gesturing for me to sit on the couch.
“What the fuck is going on?” I demanded, staring at the beautiful woman on the kitchen table. The woman I longed for. That I loved with everything I was.
“Sinclair. Come. Sit,” Church said. “We can talk.”
I heard Sirena sniffle, and she shifted like she was going to get up.
Immediately, Church was on his feet and at her side, his lips at her ear, whispering something to her that made her choke out a sob but remain still.
Ashes cursed at him then went and wiped her eyes for her.
I was going to rip Dante’s head from his fucking shoulders.
He sat in his seat, but I hadn’t moved an inch. Stitches walked past me and took a seat on the center of the couch. A place where he could get between us.
He was always thinking in the language of violence. A lot of things changed in life, but that one was steady as a river.
Ashes flipped his lighter open and closed in the kitchen, his hand wrapped firmly around Sirena’s.
“We can get through this a lot quicker if you come sit down.” Church held up the notebook. The one with all my conversations with Sirena. I swallowed hard, knowing this was probably the case, when I got the call from him.
I glanced back to her half-naked form on the table and blew out a breath before moving to the couch to sit. I knew going to her could set him off. If there ever was a time to be calm and work shit out, now was it.
“Do you think I’m an idiot, Sinclair? That I don’t know what happens in my home?” Church started.
“I don’t think you’re an idiot, Dante. You know that.”
“Really?” He tapped his fingers on the notebook. I tore my eyes away from all the conversations I knew lay beneath the cover and steadied my breathing. I knew I should have told Mirage what was going on, but for once in my life, I wanted this shit over with. If today was the day I was going to die, so be it. I already said she was worth dying for, and I meant it. At least I’d go out knowing I’d finally gotten something right in my life. That I’d truly loved and been loved back. That was all that mattered now. That and her safety. If my death meant Dante continued to keep her tucked away and safe the way he did, so be it.
“Yes,” I said.
He let out a soft laugh and grabbed the TV remote. I watched him flip to a different setting and OK it with a password. A moment later, the complete feed of the house came over the screen.
“What the fuck?” Ashes called out thickly.
Stitches scrubbed his hand down his face, his legs bouncing.
Church cycled through every room of the house before turning it off and smiling at me.
“You knew? The whole time?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Yes and no. I never looked. I had this done when Sirena was sneaking out. If she could get out, I worried someone could get in. I never turned it on and watched it while I was away. However, I did catch a glimpse of you coming into her room. I watched it a little today. Not a lot. I didn’t actually need to, though, because I found this in her room. Hidden, of course, but then again.” He gestured to the TV. “Not hidden from me.”
I swallowed and stared right back at him, not letting any of my emotions show.
“So you and Sirena,” he said, eyeing me back.
“Dante, man, just listen,” Ashes said, still at Sirena’s side.
Church held his hand up to silence him. “You’re right. It is time I listen. So, tell me, Sinclair.”
“What do you want to know?” I challenged him.
“Everything. All of it. I want to know why you vowed something to me and then broke that vow. Why you’re touching what belongs to the watchers. Why you think you can come in and try to undermine me in my own home,” his voice rose with each word until he was yelling. “Why the fuck do you think you’re good enough for her after the shit you did. She almost fucking died, Sinclair. Died. Dead. And Malachi. He was fucked. Raped. Each fucking day, our brother was drugged and pounded like a fucking coked-out whore. Then, they had Sirena hurt while they fucking watched it happen. Tell me, what gave you the fucking right to come back into our lives after I said to stay away? Huh? Tell me!” His face was red with his yelling.
My hands trembled as much as my voice did. Him laying my sins out for me that way made me want to put a bullet into my own head. He was right. I knew the point he was trying to make. I was a piece of shit, and nothing would change that. Nothing I did could ever fix what I’d broken.
So I said the only thing I could say.
“You’re right,” I whispered. “I’m not worth it. I’m selfish. I lied to you about staying away. I tried, but I couldn’t. I wanted to come home. I wanted her to be our girl. My girl. I-I was stupid. There are no words I could say to ever make up for what I did.” I looked to Stitches, who stared back at me, his dark eyes wavering. “I’m so fucking sorry, Malachi. You didn’t deserve that shit. I never would have done what I did had I known. . .” my voice trailed off, and I looked down at my feet as I tried to not cry like a fucking baby. “I’m so sorry. Malachi. Please. I know how badly I fucked everything up. I live with the guilt every day.”
“Malachi, tell Sinclair how you really feel,” Church said.
Stitches stared back at me for a moment before looking away from me.
“I hate you,” he finally said in a soft, trembling voice. “I hate you so fucking much. In my dreams, I see you watching from outside my hospital room. Knowing what you did and never speaking up about it. It fucking haunts me.” He wiped quickly at his eyes, my heart a twisted mess.
He grew quiet before his body stilled, and his legs stopped bouncing. Finally, he turned his head in my direction, tears on his cheeks. I stared back at him, wishing it were me who could have been in his place. Wishing I’d never even done any of that shit so no one would suffer the way they had.
I didn’t deserve forgiveness. I knew it as I stared into his dark, wavering eyes.
“But I love you as much as I hate you. It’s causing me a fair bit of conflict,” he finished, wiping at his eyes. “I’ve seen also how much you care for Sirena. It helps.”
I said nothing because my throat was too tight to speak.
Church flipped through the notebook before stopping near the end and reading my words aloud.
“I don’t know how you could ever love a monster like me, siren, but I am so in love with you too. I am. From the moment I saw you, I knew. I knew you were the one I’d been looking for. I was just so scared. I fucking love you with every ounce of me there is. I will always love you. You have become my entire world. I only hope I can be a fraction of yours.” Church looked at me after finishing, waiting for my answer.
“Those words were for her,” I finally said. “So she’d remember.”
Church let out a soft snort and looked back to the notebook again without a word. I took that moment to look to Ashes, who stared back at me, worry etched into his face, his hand still clutching Sirena’s on the table and his other hand going wild as he opened and closed his lighter.
“Asher.” Church looked to Ashes. “What was it Sin told you he’d do? When you two had your little heart-to-heart?’
Ashes tore his gaze away from me and looked to Church.
“He said he loved her and would beg forever on his knees if that’s what it took. That he wanted another chance to prove himself.”
Church nodded and flipped through the notebook more, clearly reading all our private conversations.
He pulled his knife out of his boot and twirled it between his fingers as he read. Sirena’s soft cries echoed around me, twisting my guts like a snake. The thought brought back my memory of William Snakespeare, my retic, and how she was scared of him. How I wanted to teach her not to be. How I wanted to prove to her that not all snakes were bad. Because I was a snake too.
Fuck.
I wiped at my eyes again and looked to her. Her chest heaved. She had to be so cold.
“Asher and Malachi helped me punish her today,” Church called out, pulling me from my thoughts. “Of course, they didn’t know they were doing it. It took seeing their reactions today for me to realize something was very wrong here. They were feral for her. Like they hadn’t fucked her tight pussy in ages. I guess they hadn’t.” He let out a humorless laugh. “I’m good at reading people. Always have been. Asylum has his parlor tricks, and I have mine. Isn’t that fun, Sinclair?”
“A fucking riot,” I answered in a monotone, tearing my focus from Sirena and back to him.
“Let’s go for a walk. Shall we?” Church rose from his seat, his knife still in his hand. I looked to Stitches, who shook his head no at me, and then to Ashes, who pleaded with his eyes for me to just walk away and not onward to my certain death.
“You love the lake, don’t you?” Church continued as I got to my feet.
“I do,” I answered softly.
“Then I think it’s the perfect place, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Good. Malachi. Asher. Get her cleaned up. We’ll talk when I return.” Church stomped past me and grabbed his jacket. I followed and cast a look to my girl lying on that fucking table.
“Dante, don’t do this,” Ashes said. “Please.”
“It’s already done,” Church answered before pulling the door open and stepping into the night air.
“For what it’s worth, thank you for giving me this week with her,” I said. “Siren. Baby. I fucking love you. M-make sure Bill eats, OK? A-and keep dancing. I want you to dance no matter what happens. I’ll see you soon.” I stepped out the door to hear her wail my name.
Sinful.
I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. Nothing about what would happen next was good.
“Let’s go,” Church called out, nodding for me to follow him.
Without protest, I followed him into the dark trees, catching a glimpse of someone darting behind a tree wearing all black.
Shadow.
So many secrets were kept in the dark at Chapel Crest.
Mine was out in the open now.
It wouldn’t be long until Shadow was brought to light either.
All monsters at Chapel Crest eventually paid for their sins. He’d be no different.
I sent up a silent prayer for him, hoping that if I didn’t make it, then maybe he would.