SWNOVELS Silent Vows: Chapter 35
“I told you to stay here. I told you not to leave without one of my men or me. You didn’t call. You didn’t text. You just … disappeared.” Conner downed the last of the golden liquid from the crystal glass in his hand.
Each softly spoken accusation both cut me to the quick and terrified me.
“I’m sorry. I was worried about my brother and ended up getting ahold of him. He offered to meet up to talk, so I went. I should have texted.” I could have lied and said I’d forgotten, but the truth was, I hadn’t forgotten. I just hadn’t wanted to chance Conner refusing to let me leave. It was better to ask forgiveness than permission. And when I hadn’t been certain he’d let me go, I didn’t take that chance.
I set down my purse and crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the sofa across from him. “What happened tonight?” His sudden departure. The blood. The menacing calm he exuded. All of it made the cold from my milkshake seep from my stomach throughout my body until I couldn’t hold back a shiver.
“That’s not your concern.” His words were a door shut in my face.
I was about to argue with him when I noticed his eyes narrow and realized he was staring at my hands in my lap—more precisely, at the gold cuff bracelet still hiding my tattoo. My other hand reflexively closed over the offending jewelry as if hiding it now would make a difference.
“I didn’t want Sante to see it and tell my dad,” I hurried to explain.
“Why the fuck should it matter if he sees it?” The tenuous grip he held over his anger flexed and bowed with strain. His loss of control spurred my own, dialing up my frustration that I was being blamed for more than my crimes deserved.
I stood, hands on my hips. “That’s not your concern,” I shot back at him, feeding him his own line. I was getting sick of tiptoeing around the men in my life.
Conner rose from his chair and, in one swift motion, threw his glass into the fireplace across the room. The sound of shattering crystal pierced the air, heightening the tension between us.
“The fuck it’s not. Your father is a threat to you, and your safety is always my concern.”
I took a lunging step forward, undeterred by his outburst, and shoved a finger into his chest. “Ditto, Conner. You’ve got blood all over you, and as your wife, I deserve to fucking know if you …” My breath hitched, the emotion of the night suddenly getting to me. “If you … were hurt.” I wiped furiously at my treacherous eyes, frustrated tears leaking free without my permission.
“Fuck!” The guttural curse rebounded off the walls before Conner’s mouth slammed into mine. Hands on either side of my face, he plundered my mouth like I was the very air he needed to breathe. Tongues tangling and teeth nipping, we both punished and savored one another.
“You drive me fucking crazy, baby.” He brought our foreheads together, our heavy breathing all that lay between us. “Blood’s not mine. It’s that Albanian fucker who got away after attacking us.”
“You found him?”
“Yeah. He won’t be a problem anymore.”
I nodded, my fingers moving to unfasten the buttons on his shirt. “I’m glad you’re okay,” I breathed, spreading his shirt wide. He slid it the rest of the way from his body, then took off his undershirt. I trailed my hands over his taut skin, and he patiently allowed me to walk a slow circle around him so I could verify he was unharmed.
Once I was facing him again, I lifted my gaze to his as I removed the cuff from my wrist and dropped it onto the ground. An apology and a promise. I hadn’t wanted to hurt him, and I’d try my hardest not to do it again.
His eyes blazed liquid sapphire. Grabbing the hem of my dress, he lifted it over my head, discarding the offending fabric to the ground.
The air around us thickened, pregnant with meaning. With intent and desire.
We were on the precipice of a shift in our budding relationship. A fork in the road that could change everything. The implications were so far-reaching that we stood motionless across from one another, unsure whether to leap the divide or slowly back away.
“My dad killed my mom,” I whispered, freeing the words for the first time in almost seven months.
I’d chosen to leap without ever really choosing. The need to open up to him was simply too great to resist any longer.
Conner stood stock-still as I bared the ugly truth about my family.
“Dad orchestrated the accident, and he knows that I know. He’s been threatening harm to Sante to keep me quiet. He’s a bad man, Conner. I was worried about Sante. About you.” The words faded to a near whisper by the time I was done.
My new husband took a shuddering breath, then growled as he lifted me in his arms. I circled my legs around his waist and pressed my lips to his, greedy for his touch.
I wasn’t sure how it had happened, but the barriers between us crumbled. I’d gone from despising him to seeing his worth to craving his approval—all in a handful of weeks. It was the very best and worst of outcomes because no matter how much we wanted one another, there would always be secrets between us.
He had an entire life beyond my reach.
Nothing exemplified that more than the fact that he still hadn’t told me what had upset him about Mia’s visit. Something had triggered him to go after the Albanian though he hadn’t admitted as much. And I couldn’t fault him because I wasn’t being entirely forthright either. I had omitted the reason my father had killed my mother, allowing him to assume her death was a product of his abusive nature, but there was so much more to it than that. If Conner knew the truth, it would give him even more reason to move against my father. The situation could devolve into an all-out war.
Secrets were the essence of Mafia life and the reason I’d wanted out.
How could a man ever claim to value his wife and children above all else when he kept a world of secrets from them? It wasn’t possible. Secrets paved the road to treachery and distrust. A road I wanted to avoid but was instead running toward full steam ahead.
I couldn’t help myself because, despite it all, I wanted Conner Reid.
And even more importantly, I wanted him to want me. To choose me above all others.
That was why my body came alive when I was the focus of his brutal intensity. I craved every ravenous stare. Each mercurial thought that passed behind his eyes and the protective weight of his devotion. When I felt the full force of his desire, my body wept with happiness, the evidence soaking my silk panties as he walked us back to the bedroom.
He unclasped my bra before we reached the secluded master suite so that when he did finally set my feet down, the lacy fabric slipped from my shoulders, leaving only my most private parts covered.
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” Conner murmured, eyes roving hungrily over my body. “Take off your panties and lie back on the bed. I want to see all of you.”
I did as he commanded, all the while spellbound at the sight of him shedding the last of his clothing. Everything about him radiated raw power. He was so much larger and stronger than me that I wondered at my own sanity. It seemed crazy not to be a little terrified of this man—not to fear the vulnerable nature of what I was offering him—but I wasn’t scared. Call it female intuition, but I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Not physically, anyway.
Once he was bare, he took his engorged cock in his hand and began to stroke himself. “Spread your legs for me, baby. Show me what’s mine.”
Knees bent, I dropped them to the sides.
Conner’s abs seized as his grip tightened around himself, practically throttling his cock as if to keep himself in check. “Tell me you’re on birth control, Em.” His words were as coarse as gravel tumbling across the asphalt. I felt each word scrape against my skin, heating me from the inside.
“I got a shot before the wedding.”
“Thank fuck.” He released himself and prowled onto the bed, his lips latching briefly to my nipple before raising to capture my lips. “I don’t want … anything … between us,” he said between kisses. “I want to see you stain my cock red.” He rocked himself, rubbing his shaft against my folds.
His heavy warmth felt incredible. I was already so damn wet at the sight of him that he glided smoothly over my swollen clit, aching for more.
“Conner, what about … other stuff?” I didn’t want to derail our moment, but I had to ask. “Are you clean?”
“Baby, it’s my job to protect you in every way. I’d never put you at risk like this if I wasn’t.” He pressed my hands together above my head and wound a seductive path with his lips down my body. The scruff on his jaw tickled and teased while his lips caressed and teeth devoured. I felt like a goddess beneath him, worshipped and adored.
When his mouth closed over my core, hunger like I’d never known clamped down on my lungs. I gulped in air, eyes wide yet unseeing. He licked and sucked, teasing up the intensity of my pleasure to a heightened frenzy. While he owned my body with his tongue, his fingers worked at my entrance. First one, then two. He hooked them inside me, stretching and soothing at the same time.
The pressure felt so damn good. So full. Before long, I came with a burst of thunder, pleasure pouring down on me, drenching me to the bone. He coaxed the last drops from me before moving up my body. I felt too sensitive for more, yet the gentle nudge of his cock at my entrance stirred a renewed craving to life. Like my body knew it had yet to receive the heart of what it wanted.
His hands again found mine, keeping them raised above my head, my chest thrust upward toward him. His lips remained parted as though each breath of restraint plunged him further into madness. His luminous blue eyes sparked with the conflict between mindless lust and a protective devotion.
“Fuck me, Conner. I’m ready. I need it.”
And with my simple plea, all pretense of restraint dissolved. Conner eased inside me until he bumped against my resistance. He wasn’t even all the way inside, yet I felt bursting with fullness. I gasped for air, struggling to adjust to the foreign sensation. He used the opportunity to seize my mouth, his tongue delving deep against mine as a distraction just before he thrust his cock deep inside me. He stole the cry from my lips, soothing the stab of pain with his shower of affection.
“That’s my girl. The worst is over, baby.”
I nodded, chest panting with exertion. The burn quickly ebbed, however, and I explored the situation with a squeeze of my inner muscles.
Conner hissed, his back arching involuntarily. “Do that again, and this will be over way too soon.”
I smiled, a small chuckle bubbling up from my throat, only intensifying when it caused me to squeeze again and coax yet another moan from him. Though my laughing died a quick death when he turned the tables, his own chuckle causing him to swell inside me.
Good God, he felt incredible.
I moaned unabashedly.
How was it I could somehow feel him in every part of me? As though from the inside, he’d gained access to the highways and byways of my body and could command me like a master puppeteer.
Conner began to ease in and out of me. Each back and forth motion was punctuated with a zing of pleasure when he rubbed over that extra sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside me. I began to move along with him, lost to an ancient dance my body seemed to know without instruction or direction.
He placed a hand under one of my knees and pressed my leg back, curving me in on myself in a way that intensified the effect of his movements.
“I’m ending this quick so I don’t make you too sore, but next time…” He nipped at my bottom lip, then began to thrust inside me with the ferocity of the devil pounding on the gates of hell.
A velvet promise of something more coiled deep in my belly. It seemed to hover just out of my reach like the moon on a cloudless night. Already sated from my orgasm before, I wasn’t bothered by my inability to grasp that amorphous spark. If anything, I was intrigued and fully awash in a shower of pleasure.
When a guttural rumble tore from deep inside Conner, I was amazed that I could feel his shaft swell and pulse inside me. His entire body shuddered as his movements slowly ebbed.
Without allowing himself much time to recover, he lifted back to his knees and watched as he pulled from inside me. His eyes gleamed with satisfaction.
On the other hand, I began to panic as I felt the evidence of what we’d done seep from my core. I started to close my legs together, but Conner’s hands quickly anchored me in place.
“I’m going to make a mess of the sheets,” I reminded him, embarrassment creeping up.
His eyes never left my pussy. “Don’t give a fuck. There’s nothing sexier than watching my cum drip from your wet pussy.” He ran a finger gently along my opening, swiping up and breathing in the essence of our combined juices. The lights in the room were low, but it was still enough that I could make out the red tinge to the glistening moisture.
“I’d never expected to marry a virgin or felt a particular need to fuck one, but hell if I don’t love knowing my cock is the only you’ll ever know.” His eyes finally lifted to mine.
My lips quirked up in the corners. “I never intended to save myself for marriage, but hell if I’m not glad I did.”
A strange intimacy passed between us while our eyes remained locked on one another. It heated the room with a frightening electric current.
Jaw clenching, Conner slipped from the bed. “Stay there,” he murmured before heading to the bathroom. When he returned, he had a wet washcloth in one hand and a dry one in the other. I was pleasantly surprised to discover when he gently wiped at my slit with the wet cloth that he’d warmed it to a soothing temperature. Once he was satisfied with his work, he patted me dry, then held out a hand to help me up. “You need to pee, then take some painkillers.”
“Yes, sir,” I said playfully, which promptly earned me a smack in the ass.
He got me a glass of water while I went to the restroom. Then we brushed our teeth and returned to the bedroom to curl up beneath the blanketed weight of the secrets still looming over us.