Siblings with benefits

As Mark kept talking it had all become clearer; the way Mark had gone from a berserk rage to being in tears at my feet, that horrible day I had led the police up to his apartment over Mitch's to find him standing over what was left of Max. Mark had claimed that the voice hated me because he listened to me over it, but had told him to go to me, when the police showed up, so we could get away with it, then reasserted itself when it was time for the hearing. That had been the most convincing point for me as my brother, despite having suffered a near breakdown, had been flawless during the questioning; however, I had noticed that Mark hesitated, very briefly, after every question, listening to what the voice fed him. The clincher had been the moment that I, as well as Alex and his attorney Harvey Murdock, had all thought that the game would be over and Mark would be caught. The Judge had ordered Mark to take a polygraph test. During the test Mark had sat there and lied about the entire Max situation and the machine had not once indicated he was lying. When it was over, Alex had told me that Murdock, who of course knew the real story, had told him the only other person he had ever seen pull that off had been a serial killer who, years after he was acquitted, was found to be mentally disturbed.

Murdock couldn't have been more right. A week after Mark had told me this I sat next to him holding his hand in a doctor's office as he was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. In hindsight I could see that Mark had all the symptoms. Unlike disorganized schizophrenics, paranoid schizophrenics were extreme over achievers who were usually able to mask their illness quite well, until something occurred to escalate the hallucinations. Mark's voice had come full circle; it had been the beatings Max had given him that had caused a psychotic break and gave birth to the Voice and it had been running into Max again that had sent the Voice itself over the edge.

After several more tests the doctor had prescribed anti psychotic drugs and Mark had been taking them ever since. Well mostly I thought, as I stared at the bottle. There had been a few times in his twenties when he had tried to either go off them or play with them, seeing how many days he could go before he would start hearing things. Fortunately since nearly killing Max, Mark had stayed out of trouble, even when he had gone off his meds, except for one night, when as usual, his addict of a sister had gotten him into....

I quickly shut that image down and opening the bottle shook the small pills out into my hand. The bottle said thirty and counting the pills I checked the date the script was filled and with a sigh of relief found that they were all accounted for, no extras. Mark had been on the verge of losing it at the gym on the bag, and later, on his sister in the shower, and I had been worried there was more to it than just being pissed. I shook my head as it was a testament to the level of rage that my brother held inside of him. that he could still reach that point, even on the meds. As I dumped them back into the bottle I noticed the name on the bottle; Jason Stiles. The doctor that had diagnosed Mark had retired and moved to Florida shortly after he had treated Mark. My brother's current doctor was out of New York, someone Mark had met through a connection who was giving him the script under the name of a patient who had passed away years ago. With the exception of that Doctor, and myself, no one knew of Mark's condition and he desperately wanted to keep it that way, since, if it became known that he was suffering from a mental illness it would throw a shadow over his claim of self defense at the hearing concerning the Max affair. Even worse, Mark had made several very powerful enemies, any one of which would love to get their hands on that type of dirty laundry.

As I put the bottle away something occurred to me. Until this morning, I hadn't thought of the Winthrop trial since it had ended. Was Mark's illness what Alex had found out about? Alex knew Max hadn't attacked Mark, but had helped him because he saw Mark as his little brother, and also because I had told him of all the things Max had done to my brother, who of course never talked about it. Had Alex threatened to go to the papers with that information? That Mark had been mentally unstable and should have been put away? The fact that mark had an undisclosed illness on top of everything else Winthrop and Alex were slinging at him could have gotten him tossed from the case or worse. Then again, Mark had said it was something I didn't know about. So it couldn't be that unless Mark had been lying. I could usually tell but it had been over the phone.

I closed the drawer and, as my eyes wandered around the room, I saw a box against the wall that appeared to be trash and noticed a large hole in the wall over it. I walked over and glancing in saw a framed photo that was smashed to hell. It was face down and I went to pick it up when I heard the sound go off on the television out in the living room. Moving quickly I left the office, silently closing the door behind me. I turned half expecting to see Mark coming down the hallway but it was empty. I carefully walked down the corridor and slowly peeked around the corner into the living room. My brother was not the type you wanted to sneak up on. I saw Mark was still on the couch but had rolled completely over on his side into the back of it. As I walked over I saw the remote on the floor, apparently Mark hadn't noticed my purse sitting on the edge of the coffee table.

I walked over and, kneeling down next to the couch, took another minute to admire Mark's back and shoulders, and immediately I knew that despite the fact that I probably shouldn't, there was no doubt that I was going to have my brother inside of me and soon.

"Mark?" I said softly.

There was no response so I repeated his name louder. Mark still didn't move, so finally I reached out and lightly touched his shoulder. Mark exploded into motion; throwing his elbow backwards and with a wrench of his hips spinning himself around on the couch. As soon as Mark had begun to move I had tried to pull back and ended up falling back onto my ass which is all that saved me from my brother's elbow smashing into my head. Mark had come up into a sitting position and his eyes had that crazed look in them, his hands had come up, his left curled into a fist, the right open with his fingers hooked into a claw.

"Whoa easy little brother!" I exclaimed, putting my hands up.

"Christ Meg!" Mark said then immediately winced and brought his hands to his temples.

"Sorry Mark," I said getting up and sitting next to him on the couch. "I tried to call a couple of times.

Mark sighed and after rubbing at his eyes turned to look at me. I winced at how red his eyes were and he had squinted in pain just at the act of turning his head.

"Little bit to drink last night there bad boy?"

Mark shrugged;

"Guess so."

Mark reached forward and picking up the pack of cigarettes tapped one out putting it in his mouth while he grabbed the lighter. He was just getting ready to flick it when I reached up and pulled the cigarette from his mouth.

"Hey!" He exclaimed then winced again.

"You quit Mark." I told him tossing the cigarette onto the table. "Remember pneumonia a couple of years ago? Doctor said your lungs were a mess so you stopped?"

"Yeah well I live for indulgence, remember." He looked as if he was going to pick it back up but, seeing me shake my head, he sighed and looking at me asked;

"Why are you here Meg?"

I was taken aback by that comment but decided to laugh it off.

"Nice to see you too little brother."

"I thought you said we needed a couple of days?"

I looked away briefly, this was starting out exactly how I had hoped it wouldn't; Mark was going try to hold back from me.

"Look Mark, before we get into that how about you give your sister a kiss hello?"

Without giving him a chance to say no, I leaned forward and, taking his cheek in my hand, guided his lips to mine. I kissed him softly and to my delight he did return the kiss, however when I kissed him again and started to slide my tongue between his lips he quickly turned his head away.

"Don't" He said quietly.

"Mark please don't be like this," I began, already feeling the emotions from last night starting to creep up on me. I needed him. "I..."

Mark silenced me by putting his hand up and saying;

"Just give me a minute okay Meg?"

Mark took a deep breath and standing up looked down at me and said;

"I smell like booze and..." He shrugged. "You know."

"Okay." I said quietly.

Mark grabbed the bottle off the coffee table and as he left the parlor and entered the kitchen I saw him pour the rest of the booze in the sink before tossing the bottle in the trash and then disappear down the hallway to the bathroom. I shook my head as I noticed he wasn't walking quite straight and at one point stopped and leaned against the wall for a second before continuing. Standing up, I quickly slid my thong off, shoved it out of sight between the cushions, then sat back and thought about how endearing it was that my brother wouldn't even kiss me if he had been drinking. I also felt a sense of relief that, that was the reason he had pushed me away. That relief was short lived as five minutes later when Mark came back and, after leaning over and giving me a quick kiss, turned and went and sat in the leather recliner off to the side and put his feet up on the large matching ottoman.

"Alright then." I said softly, but immediately stood up and, going over, sat on the edge of the ottoman and rested my hand on Mark's leg.

"Is that all I get?" I asked.

Mark looked away from me as if he were debating, then he turned back and, leaning forward and putting his arms around my shoulders, hugged me. Damn did he feel good, oh how I needed to spend some time with these arms around me, but only after my legs had spent some time wrapped around my brother with his cock inside my pussy. I held him tight so he couldn't pull away quickly and after a minute I felt him relax into me.

"Yeah that's better little brother." I whispered and turning my head kissed his neck.

Mark made a soft noise in his throat as I stopped kissing and began gently sucking on the spot just below his ear. I felt my brother's hands slide up under my long black hair and start to caress my back just above the tank top. I removed my mouth from his neck and began playfully nibbling on his ear as my hands began massaging the hard muscles of his shoulders.

"Relax, little brother." I told him. "Just let your..."

Mark reached up and not roughly but firmly removed my hands from his shoulders and sat back.

"You didn't answer me Megan." He began quietly. "I thought we were going to talk tomorrow night. Remember? We need time so we don't upset each other more?"

I looked calmly at Mark and said quietly;

"I came because I was worried about you Mark." I began. "I know you haven't slept and you were really wound up yesterday, and..." I put my head down. "I... I haven't slept much either Mark and I read my journal last night and..."

"Journal?" Mark asked "Thought that thing got trashed."

"It was in a box in the attic, Mom thought it was a schoolbook." I shook my head.

"I spent all night reading and..."

"You didn't read the whole thing?" Mark asked sitting up and looking concerned.

I shook my head at his question and also let out an internal sigh of relief that Mark had instantly been worried about me.

"I didn't Mark."

I reached out and put my hand next to his on his leg and to my delight Mark put his hand over mine. I took a deep breath and continued.

"There was just so much I forgot about. I mean I know I blocked a lot out from the hardcore days, but even things like..." I looked guiltily at him. "I... forgot about what I did to you and Krissy and how many times I lied to the folks, and that night at the hotel that almost got you..."

"Enough Meg." Mark said softly. "Forwards, not backwards, right?"

I nodded at the motto that he had instilled in me when I had first become sober.

"Besides Megan, that was the best thing that could have happened to Krissy." Mark shook his head. "I was bad for her. I told her I loved her every day and was fucking you the entire time. She deserved better." He sighed and added;

"Found it too, married with three kids making big bucks as an architect in Colorado."

"Anyway Mark,"

As I began I slid forward on the ottoman so that I was as close to Mark as I could be without being on his lap which is where I was hoping I soon would be. As I came forward I felt my skirt slide higher up and looking down saw that it had ridden up to the point you could nearly see my bare pussy. My eyes returned to Mark and I was happy to see his eyes glued down there. I gave him a minute to take in his sister's creamy white thighs before speaking softly to him;

"Mark I.. I've barely slept since Saturday, and the journal upset me, and I know you're upset."

I leaned forward, put my hands on his shoulders, and whispered;

"I need you Mark, and you need me too I can see it."

Mark leaned closer to me and his left hand found my thigh. I could feel his hand trembling but also felt it start to slide higher up towards my very needy pussy. Mark turned his head towards mine and, as our bloodshot eyes met, I could see that I was right; Mark needed his big sister the way I needed him. As he came forward Mark's lips parted and his eyes began to close as he prepared to kiss me;

"That's right," I said softly. "When I'm upset I need my little brother, to..."

I stopped as Mark suddenly jerked back away from me.

"What's wrong ..." I started but Mark cut me off with a wave of his hand.

"Little brother? That's what you need Megan? Even after what I said, you need your brother?"

I bit my tongue and took a breath before I replied. This had been what I was afraid of. At some point Mark had decided he was in love with me, and to him, that somehow changed the fact that we were family. Thinking on it, Mark hadn't called me 'sis' once since I got here, it had been Meg or Megan. I had been upset earlier this morning, thinking that I still needed to be Mark's sister even if we became more. I kept my head down as my mind spun. I couldn't upset Mark again, of course that thought was immediately followed by the thought that I shouldn't have come in the first place. But that wasn't true I needed to know if Mark would still let me be his sister, even as I thought it, I knew it was twisted but Mark and I had been pulled apart for years and when we had found him I had sworn that nothing would ever come between us again. To that effect he would always be my brother, even if things went further. Looking up, I decided to just play it straight and not try to sweet talk him.

"Okay listen Mark." I began. "Just because I call you little brother doesn't meant that..."

"Just drop it okay sis." Mark said all but sneering the word sis.

"Mark what's..."

"What's wrong?" He asked. "Let's see, I'm exhausted, I'm hung over, you left me hanging to go stay with the folks and I'm...." He stopped and the anger left his eyes to be replaced by that lost look he used to get when he was a kid.

"Alone." He finished almost to himself.

My heart went out to him as I remembered mom running down the list this morning; Samantha, Alex, dad and whatever was going on with dad keeping him from mom. Mark had not had a pet in close to a year and told me last month he hadn't even been seeing Justine anymore. Because he had been waiting for me. Last month I had told him I could feel Laura slipping away so he knew his time was coming and Saturday night had been the chance he had been waiting for and he felt he had failed. And why did he feel he had failed? Because I was an insensitive bitch!

"Mark please, listen to me,"

I began again speaking calmly. I could see in his eyes that Mark wasn't angry, he was hurt, and confused and unused to feeling either, he needed me and he knew it, but also felt that he wanted his answer with it. I could only give him comfort right now as I really wasn't sure where I was going with this. Mark had it down to the two of us but I knew there were others involved, but for now, I just had to keep it about this morning

"Just because I..."

"You know what Meg?" Mark interrupted again. "Screw it, I mean if that's your choice that's fine. You have nothing to worry about."

"If what's my choice little.." I caught myself but it didn't matter Mark was off and running.

"Look sis," At least he didn't say that with any malice this time. "I know why you're here and what you're worried about." He sighed.

"I know you're worried about me Meg, but I also know you're worried about us, or what us there will be if things don't go my way."

Mark stared off into space for a minute then continued;

"I could never, not be with you sis..."

"Mark I didn't say..."

"You know," Mark continued quietly as if not hearing me. "That was part of it in the end with Samantha, the thought of never being with you had hit me and I wasn't sure if I could handle that." Mark looked up and grunting said;

"You could though, when I came on to you a few months ago with Laura here I was trying to show you that thought, about how we couldn't be anymore, and know what?" He gave me a rueful smile.

"You were stronger than me Megan, you put me off and went with Laura, you weren't happy but you made the choice," He sighed heavily "I guess that should have told me that my feelings were a little more one sided."

Mark went silent and forcing my voice to stay steady I said;

"You made that choice for me Mark, you backed off after I told you that I couldn't say no to you again. You chose for me to be happy with Laura. I'll always want you too Mark it's not just about that..." I paused trying to find something better to say than "I just don't know." And Mark kept going.

"Look sis if all you want to be from now on is what we always have been which is fuck buddies, then well it's not like I'm going to say forget it." He looked down and whispered; "I want it all Megan but in the end if some of you is all I can have then that's what it'll be. We'll just stay the way we are, I just had to try."

As he finished he put his head down, but not before his eyes told me that it was anything but all right. My brother was in pain and I still didn't have the answer. Taking a chance I lifted up off the ottoman and turning to the side sat on Mark's legs and sliding onto his lap put my arms around his shoulders and after kissing the top of his head said;

"Mark look at me."

Mark put his head up but still had it turned until I gently put my hand on his cheek and turned him to face me.

"You said your piece now please let me." I paused hoping to hell wouldn't screw this up then began;

"First off Mark you said yourself you've been waiting a long time for this so you've had time to think it all through. You caught me by surprise Saturday Mark, and I... I know I didn't react well, but fact is Mark I need a little time, there's a lot involved and I...you know I love you little brother, it's just how, that I need to sort through, I mean you and I have an odd relationship in case you didn't notice."

"Little brother." Mark whispered.

"Oh for Christ's sake Mark," I snapped a little louder than I meant to. "Stop moping when I call you that."

Mark went to turn his head but I kept him facing me.

"Mark listen first of all I didn't say no, I just need time so please don't act like I blew you off." I took a deep breath and then lowered my voice to a soft tone the one my brother always responded to.

"Mark no matter how we end up you're always going to be my brother. You could call me your lover, or girlfriend, or anything else, but at the end of the day Mark we're blood."