Siblings with benefits

Authors note; This chapter as well as the next couple will be shorter than some of my recent ones (trying to stay within 3 pages)but will take a little while to go into the erotic encounters. This will occur in the first few chapters of part three as I will be using conversations and some non sexual flashbacks to set up quite a few things which will affect Megan's decision involving her brother. For those of you who enjoyed Lex Talionis and that style of writing which was a bit more "novel like". Then you should enjoy the build up of the next few chapters as I use them to get a glimpse of the present day Mark and how is life is not as perfect as it seems and how he continues to protect Megan from her past. As always thank you for reading.micheal

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I opened my eyes as those last words went through my mind; promising my brother that I would never leave him. Eight months later I would move to Chicago to start a new life; one that turned out to be everything I wanted it to be, but didn't include him. Once again leaving Mark to miss the big sister he had waited so long to get back, and, although it had been for a good reason, had left him. With a sigh I rolled over and checked the time on my phone; seven thirty. Giving up on falling back to sleep at this point I once again called Mark and listened to it go to voicemail.

I didn't bother leaving a message this time, Mark usually had court on Mondays so he would have to be done at the gym by eight, I would call back then and see if I could meet him there for a quick cup of coffee, just to make sure he was okay. Getting up, I grabbed my cigarettes and, going over to the old rocking chair that was near the window, sat down. Stretching my long legs out I put my feet up on the windowsill and, lighting a cigarette, went back to the last thought of my leaving my brother for Chicago.

Originally when Betty had asked me about moving down there with her I had told her no. I understood why she was doing it, for a fresh start in a place where no one knew her and she wasn't constantly reminded of her past indiscretions. The difference for me however was that unlike Betty, whose family lived on the west coast and she barely saw, I had a brother and parents who had lost enough time with me and I certainly didn't want to take anymore away from them. Not to mention the fact that, although I had just made a year sober, they would worry sick about me if they couldn't see me all the time. Two weeks before Betty was to move something happened that had changed my mind, an event that went a little beyond just seeing a place where I used to get fucked up and feeling bad about it.

I had taken Mom grocery shopping and, while she was checking out, went outside to have a cigarette. While I was standing there smoking I heard a guy's voice behind me say excuse me, when I turned around saw two guys around my age standing there. One of them asked me what my name was and I asked why they wanted to know. At that the other guy grinned and said they knew me and was surprised I didn't recognize them. I instantly began to feel a little uncomfortable, but to them I simply shrugged and said if they knew me then they would know my name.

The first guy laughed and said that we had never gotten on the first name basis, but maybe the name Raven would ring a bell. That uncomfortable feeling immediately turned into a sick feeling in my stomach; Raven was the name I had gone by when I had worked some of the local strip clubs. Still trying to avoid any drama I told them they had me mixed up with someone else. It was summer time and I was wearing a tank top and, when I had said that, the second guy smiled and, pointing at my Medusa tattoo, said that he doubted there was another tall, hot brunette with the same tattoo.

Before I could say anything else the first guy smirked and told me it was too bad I didn't remember them because I had taken very good care of both of them at a bachelor party. The other guy laughed and told his friend that I had been pretty wasted, and besides, for a girl like me they probably all blurred together anyways. At that I turned my back to them but they came around and one of them asked if I was still in business. I told him no, that was a long time ago. With a laugh he asked me if I was sure, because he had a hundred dollars, and that was all it took last time.

I could feel myself blushing and, was ready to walk away, when Mom came out of the store with the carriage and, seeing the look on my face, asked if I was okay and who were my friends. One of the guys gave me an evil smirk and my stomach turned as I waited for him to say something terrible. Fortunately for me, the other guy had some decency and, after elbowing his friend, simply told my mother that they had known me from way back and just stopped to say hi. As they walked away the other one winked at me and told me it was good seeing me again. Mom could tell something was wrong and finally, when we got home, I told her I knew them from the "bad days" as she always referred to them and they were busting my balls. Mom, of course, felt terrible but had also made the remark that it was a good thing it was her that was there and not Mark. My brother would have seen it for what it was and he'd have started and, most likely, finished a fight. A week later I called Mark over to my folk's house and told them I was moving to Chicago with Betty.

I shook my head as I knew that none of them had wanted me to leave, but I had to do what was best for me. It was ironic, because as an addict I had exhibited nothing but selfish behavior, and now, even as a recovering addict, I still had to act selfishly. For me, and others like me, every decision had to be what was best for me based on how it could affect my recovery. If something made me uncomfortable or stressed me too badly I could not just "suck it up" as some people would say and deal with it. No, I had to know when to back away, lest I allow myself to fall into situations that were no longer mine, so to speak. In the end my family understood and didn't make too much of a fuss over it. The fact that Mark knew some people down there made my parents feel a little better and, five years later, things really couldn't have worked out better for me down there. Of course I thought, as I licked my fingers and pinched my cigarette out, the operative word there as usual was "me".

No that wasn't necessarily true, I hadn't done it just for myself; my family had benefited from it as well. I truly believe to this day that, had I stayed in Rhode Island, I might have slipped back; once again tripped up by guilt and old pain, but there were none of those melancholy memories in Chicago. Down there all people knew was that I had moved in from out of state, as opposed to up here where everyone that knew me, knew my past. Besides, at this point, the folks were used to it and I loved having my own life, unfortunately it seemed Mark had missed me more than I had thought. At that I started to wonder, is it possible he didn't love me and just missed me? No, what I felt Saturday night from my brother was his using his body to give me his heart.

I stopped that train of thought, I had already had my mind spinning once and beating a dead horse wasn't going to get me anywhere. In the past I had learned that if I let things go the answers would come on their own, so for now I would go with that. Getting up I walked back over to the phone and saw it was a few minutes after eight. I dialed Mark again and this time when he didn't answer I began to worry. Hanging up I called his office, figuring maybe he had gone in early. It was only a little after eight but Mark's assistant, Paula, started early in case anyone who Mark was supposed to have in court called with any problems.

Paula answered and, after I told her who I was, and made a couple of minutes of small talk, asked if Mark was there. After Paula told me he wasn't I asked if she could tell me when his first court appearance was. Paula told me that Mark was not on the calendar all week, and had told her to leave his schedule open until noon for the next few days. At this point I hung up, and decided to just go to his apartment. Going over to my bag I grabbed a short denim skirt and a tank top along with a lace turquoise bra and matching thong.

Entering the bathroom, I stripped off the ridiculously cute pink nightshirt I'd worn to bed, and turned the water on, only to have nothing come out. I tried the cold water then realized that Mom had said they hadn't been using it and Dad probably had forgotten to turn the water valve on. Rolling my eyes I put the shirt back on and, grabbing the clothes, also stopped to get my purse and a pair of blue sandals and headed downstairs to use the other bathroom. I entered the kitchen to find Mom sitting at the table looking through some boxes. As I got closer to her I saw that they were old photo albums and I knew a trip down memory lane would be coming soon.

"Morning Mom." I said leaning over and kissing her on top of her head.

"Hey honey, you're up early. Want a cup of coffee?"

"Actually I was going to take a shower first then..." I started but Mom pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

"You're father's in there." Mom looked at me and asked. "What's wrong with..." She laughed. "Mr. fix it didn't turn the water on did he?"

"Nope." I said then putting my clothes on the table sat down across from her.

"Megan please," Mom said nodding towards my clothes. "You're father doesn't need to see that, no matter how old you are."

I looked down and saw that the thong was on top of the pile and quickly tucked it under the skirt. I laughed as she was absolutely right, Dad would not react well.

"Oh come on Mom," I said. "That could be fun, especially if I told him Laura bought it for me."

"Please dear, don't tease your father with that, you know he thinks it's a sin."

I shrugged and nodded, Dad had never understood my attraction to women, and always got excited when there was a new guy in the picture. I smiled at my mother, as she began looking through a shoe box full of old papers. Mom never minded one bit and had told me after her last visit to Chicago how much she liked Laura, and how happy we looked together.

"I'm glad you never cared." I told her.

"Megan, the only thing I care about is my kids being happy, anyone who makes the two of you happy, will make me happy too."

Mom had said it in an offhand way as she continued to dig through the box, but the effect of her comment on me was overwhelming. It really was all Mom cared about, anything I wanted as long as I was healthy and happy was fine with her. I was also touched by her saying kids; Mom considered Mark her son as much as I was her daughter, on that note I needed to make sure Mark saw Mom before I left. Whatever was going on between him and Dad should have nothing to do with him seeing the woman who had always loved him as her own.

"I love you Mom." I said quietly.

Mom looked up at me and gave me a huge smile.

"I love you too honey. What brought that on?"

"Just the way you accept me, that's all, that all you want is for me to be happy."

"That's what all parents should want." Mom said. Then frowning added; "Speaking of happy hon, you don't look so good, you having trouble sleeping?"

"Yeah kind of." I told her.

"Laura?" Mom asked.

I shrugged and was going to let it go, then realized that my mother was really the only person, besides Mark, that I could ever really talk to.

"Honestly mom, I think I'm upset over Laura because I wasn't that upset over Laura." I paused then asked; "You know what I mean?"

"I think so." Mom said then added; "She was in love and you weren't."

"Right," I agreed. "And I just don't get it Mom, I mean I want to be in love, and Laura was perfect." I shook my head. "Beautiful, sweet, caring and she absolutely adored me. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I don't want to be happy."

"Runs in the family apparently." Mom said and, as she spoke, reached down and held up a picture of Mark with Samantha that had been taken right here on the same porch swing Mark and I had always sat on at night when we couldn't sleep.

"Mark really fell for her." I said.

"Not far enough." Mom shook her head. "I mean talk about perfect, this girl was gorgeous, graduated top of her class, and all but worshipped your brother." Mom looked at the picture and smiled wistfully.

"Tell you what Megan, when your brother brought her by I really thought she could be the one to tame him. I mean Samantha was the first girl I had met since Cynthia back when he was twenty."

Mom continued to stare at the picture, a little sadly at this point.

"He was in love with her Megan, I could see it." She laughed softly. "And she was very sweet and from a big Italian family. I really thought I might even get to be a grandmother eventually."

That remark hit me hard, although I really don't think I would have ever wanted children, the fact that I never had the choice bothered me, as well as the fact that Mom, as she had just said, would love to have a baby to hold and spoil someday. It also hit me because, despite me telling him that he should, Mark had never told mom that he had gotten a vasectomy back at the age of twenty so that he couldn't make another one like him or my father as he put it.

Mom still held out the hope that Mark might indeed settle down and have a family someday. Of course I knew it would never happen for either of us; Mom would never be a grandma, nor would I ever be Aunty Megan. My brother and my's past was truly the gift that kept on giving or, in most cases, taking.

Mom had looked up and, seeing the look on my face, instantly felt terrible.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed. "I didn't mean it that way! I just..." She trailed off at a loss.

"It's okay mom," I told her quietly. "Really it is." Looking at her I shrugged. "Everything happens for a reason and, let's face it, as messed up as I was, it was a good thing I couldn't have gotten pregnant, who knows what would have happened."

"Still honey I feel awful for saying it." Mom said "I was just..."

"Forget it mom." I said again, then changing the subject said; "You know Mark never did tell me why he broke it off."

"All he ever said to me was that he had doubts that she was the one and didn't want to lead her on." Mom grunted. "Funny how much the two of you are alike."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well when you think about it Laura was your Samantha, you and Mark both found someone perfect and pulled back." She looked at me and, pursing her lips in thought, added;

"It's almost as if the two of you are waiting for something, maybe you don't know it is, but you obviously know who it's not."

Mom's words caught me off guard; I had never made that connection between Laura and Samanthaand the remark that we were waiting for something. Were we waiting for each other? Had Mark been the first one of us to realize it? Mom was looking at me oddly and, once again, I wanted to get off the subject, but this time she let me off the hook;

"Anyways I brought all these pictures out and figured we could spend some time looking at them before you go out to lunch with your father."

"Yeah well you know mom," I began. "I'm actually going to hop in the shower when dad's done and go see Mark for a few minutes, I...

"But hon, you spent most of the weekend with your brother." Mom pointed out, looking disappointed.

"I know Mom but..."

"And you said you're going back to his place tomorrow night." Mom continued. "I mean, I'm not trying to be difficult Megan, but who knows when I'll get a chance to spend time with you again."

"Look mom," I started putting my hands up. "I know what you're saying, but I..."

Looking at my mother I realized there was no reason not to tell the truth, or part of it anyways. At least this way maybe she wouldn't feel slighted.

"Mark and I had an argument yesterday and honestly it's part of why I didn't sleep much last night."

"Really?" Mom asked, her eyes widening a little. "You and Mark never fight, well not these days anyways, what happened?"

Well you see mom, I thought, after I gave Mark a lap dance, we talked about how I took his virginity, and then he took me into his room and made love to me, then when he told me he loved me I acted like a bitch and...

"Well," I said out loud. "Mark kind of told me something and I didn't take him seriously and well you know him, first he got mad, now..."

"His feelings are hurt." Mom finished with a slight grin. "You know it's amazing, your brother acts as bad as they come, but he really is sensitive under all of that, at least with his sister anyways."

"And his mother." I added. "You used to positively dote on him when he was younger, and I don't care what he said, he loved it."

"Used to is the key word there, back before I somehow went from mom back to Denise again." Mom said sadly, before I could say anything she continued; "So you're going to go check on him?"

"Yeah, I really want to mom, and you know Mark, if I don't catch him before he gets into the office, he's there until god knows when."

"Okay hon, you go ahead and do that, I didn't mean to sound bratty, I just miss you that's all."

"I miss you too mom and I know its three months away, but I already planned on you and dad coming down for Thanksgiving."

"I know Megan, anyways, you should go I..." She shrugged. "I've been worried about Mark lately anyways, I hardly talk to him and well, I'm just worried that he's not doing well these days."

"Mark?" I asked surprised, of the two of us Mark, except for the Max incident, was never the one anyone worried about. My brother always more than took care of himself.

"Your brother's had a rough year Megan," Mom said seriously. "He broke it off with Samantha, and I don't care what he said, I could tell he was heartbroken over it, and a couple of months after that was that horrible Winthrop case."

"Yeah but he won that case and..." I started but mom kept going.

"He did Megan, but those people all but ruined your brother, I know you saw some things on the news, and of course Mark was talking to you during it but you weren't here." Mom shook her head. "Every day there was something new, they were tearing him apart, everything from bringing up Max, to that cult stuff, and that horrible sex video they dug up."

Mom looked away for a minute as if trying to forget the image that had probably just entered her mind, then kept speaking.

"They even brought Samantha back into town to rattle him and he ended up lost, losing his friend Alex over that mess."

"If Alex was really Mark's friend, he wouldn't have taken that rich asshole's side mom." I pointed out.

"It doesn't matter Megan, Mark saw Alex as a brother. I mean he used to come over here for Sunday dinners when he lived down here. I'll tell you between him, that punk kid's father and that sleazy lawyer they had, it really looked like your brother was going to lose, and that poor girl was going to have to watch that kid walk. Honestly, to this day, no one knows how Mark won that case. All anyone knows was that it was the ugliest trial this state has ever seen and your brother really hasn't seemed the same since. Never mind he hasn't spoken to your father in months and hardly at all to me."

As mom spoke I started to think about it. I of course had known all this, but had never put all three things together, or thought that it would be more than Mark could handle. Then again, maybe it was because I was so accustomed to my brother being strong that it never occurred to me that things like that would have a lasting effect on him.

"There's my little girl!"

Dad said and before I could turn, came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my cheek.