Chapter 20
I had already written it and didn't want to waste it so please watch for it. Lovecraft68
The cool morning air felt wonderful as I went out onto the porch of the small cabin and sat on the bench against the wall. It was only 5am but, as had been the case all week, I hadn't slept much and since it was our last morning here decided to get up and enjoy the view one last time. I took a sip of the coffee I had made, and putting my feet up on the railing sighed and looked out at the mist shrouded forest around me. Not for the first time I thought that it would make a hell of a painting; I had brought a sketchbook with me but hadn't really felt up to doing much.
Well that wasn't true I wanted to but couldn't seem to find the inspiration to do it. That had been happening more and more often lately. What usually helped was a drink but seeing as I was away with Mom that wasn't really an option. As I continued to stare out into the forest it also reminded me of the mural I had painted on my ceiling of the make believe forest I had created when I was nine. That forest had been populated by all kinds of friendly little animals who could all talk and became the only friends I had during my nightmarish time with Frank.
Lately I had found myself wishing I could find that magical place in my head like I used to then and go hide there as saying things hadn't been going well lately was an understatement. I rubbed at my eyes which at this point were sore and burning, I was in the middle of my first bout of insomnia in over a year and the two things that could cure it; a few drinks, or better yet my brother's bed weren't available to me, and I was beginning to feel more and more strung out. I took another deep breath of the fresh air and putting down my cup slumped further down on the bench.
Mom was still sleeping and probably would be until about seven. We weren't due to leave until eight and since we had packed the car last night there wasn't really anything to do this morning. Despite the coolness of the air I felt quite comfortable and decided to try to close my eyes out here, after all you never know and at this point even an hour's sleep would do me a world of good. As had been the case all week as my eyes closed my mind spun and the events of the last couple of weeks unfolded yet again.
After all the things that had been going so well: with the new job, my first sale as an artist and most importantly all the time I had been spending with my brother things got bad in a hurry. It didn't start out that way, in fact I thought things were still going pretty well especially when the guy who had bought my painting came back down and gave me a check for $200, and a rough sketch of something he wanted painted. He said if he was happy with it he would pay me another $500 when it was done. Needless to say I was very excited and felt a celebration was in order.
It was a Thursday night so I told the folks I would be sleeping over Betty's.. After I picked her up Betty and I hit the liquor store where we grabbed a bottle of vodka and a twelve pack. It was only about nine, so we went down to Club Baby Head where Mark was working the door and got us in for free. I had turned twenty one two weeks ago, so could now drink wherever I went. We hung out there and had a few drinks with a couple of guys who were trying to pick us up. Betty tried to talk me into bringing them back to her place but I didn't want to. After all I was getting plenty from my brother and was happy to keep it at that.
Betty rolled her eyes and asked me what the hell was wrong with me? Much like the way I rode Mark about going after Cynthia, Betty was always after me to get laid, telling me how hot I was and how I was missing out. I would just laugh and tell her she made up for both of us. After the club we swung by one of Betty's friends house where I bought a bag of weed and headed back to her place.
We smoked and drank and had a blast, which of course led to us waking up late for school. Not thinking, and in a hurry I shoved the bag into my purse. After the second period class that I shared with Betty, she leaned over and asked if I had it. I told her I did and we decided to hit the ladies room in between classes. Unfortunately as we were walking out as an instructor was walking in, and smelling it stopped us.
We were sent to the Dean's office where we were asked to empty our purses. I was suspended for the rest of the semester, which meant failing and having to repeat it. My father was livid, screaming at me to the point that Mom got nervous and sent me out onto the porch while she tried to calm him down. I sat on the porch, and found I wasn't really all that upset. I mean I felt bad in the sense that Dad worked his ass off and had paid for two years of school including a semester that I wouldn't finish, but honestly I had been sick of school for awhile now. Not only that, but now I would have time to finish that painting quick and get more money then sell more, who the hell needed class?
I lit a cigarette while I was sitting there, and smoked while I listened to mom and dad argue. Mark, who had been upstairs came outside and asked what happened. I told him and he asked me what the hell was wrong with me? I shrugged and explained I didn't need school, and this way Dad wouldn't waste any more money. Mark shook his head and told me I was an idiot. I told him that if he ever wanted this idiot to suck his cock again he'd watch his mouth. Mom came out at that point and brought me back in.
Once again it was lecture time. The evils of drugs, what addiction could do to people. Didn't I see all the trouble I was getting into? Mom also dropped the bomb on me that she was taking me to Kodak to meet with a drug councilor. Dad then told me that if I couldn't get full time at Sears I better get another job because if I wasn't in school, I would be working full time and start paying rent. I sat there and nodded. I couldn't even pretend to look sorry not even when Mom had teared up, as she was saying how worried she was for me. I felt totally detached as if it wasn't really me sitting there. This had been happening more and more often lately; this disconnected feeling. I have to say it was better than worrying.
After the lecture I went upstairs walked into Mark's bedroom and taking him by the hand pulled him into the bathroom with me, where we hopped into the shower for a quick fuck, then went into my room where I spent the rest of the night making him take care of me. Teach him to call me an idiot. By the next morning however I made it up to him, waking him up with a long slow blow job that made his eyes roll. The next few days were pretty tense; I avoided Dad like the plague, and every time I saw Mom she looked sad. I did get my hours upped at Sears and was now making more money, or thought I was until Dad said he wanted $75 a week from me.
Where the school situation didn't necessarily bother me what happened the next Saturday at Mitch's did. I came in after work looking forward to hanging out with Mark; catching a good buzz and then seeing as it was his night getting used and abused by my smoking hot brother. Those plans went to hell pretty quickly. Mark came up to me and grabbing my hand pulled me around the bar and into the back office. At first I was excited, thinking this was part of the game; after all it was his night maybe he would start by forcing me back here.
I went to give him a kiss but he stepped back and told me Krissy had come in here earlier with a couple of friends. She'd wanted to give him back a few small things that she still had of his, and hadn't wanted to go by the house. Mark had tried to get her to stay and talk, which was when Krissy had said she didn't want to get his new girlfriend Cynthia jealous. When my brother had asked what she was talking about little Krissy was nice enough to tell Mark that his big sister had wanted to spare her the embarrassment of hearing it elsewhere and told her how he had moved on.
Mark looked at me and asked me if I had said that. I tried to lie but found I couldn't. I tried to say it wasn't quite what I said but Mark had shaken his head, and asked me why the hell I would do that? I didn't know what to say; because I wanted to be his girlfriend? Because I was so lonely I didn't want to share him anymore? I suppose maybe I should have, at least it would have been an answer. Instead I simply shrugged and said that he was better off. I stopped as I saw Mark's eyes flare up. At first he didn't say anything just stood there looking pissed. I braced myself to get yelled at, but instead his eyes softened and he asked quietly;
"How could you do this to me Meg?" He shook his head and I felt a sinking feeling at the hurt in his eyes as he continued, "How could you? I'm your brother I thought we took care of each other?"
I tried to take his hand, but he pulled it away and simply walked out of the room. I stayed in the back for a few minutes, and when I came out Mark was gone. Cynthia said he told her he was sick and he had called Mitch who was coming down to stay the rest of the night with her. I sat and had a drink then went home. Seeing that Mark was there, I quickly went upstairs, and slipping into a sexy little red nighty went to go into his room to make things up to him.
The door was locked.
I knocked once then again. Finally Mark opened the door and simply said;
"Good night Megan."
With that he slammed the door in my face. I stood there in shock and after awhile climbed into my bed where I spent the night lying there awake and in tears. By the morning I told myself that Mark would get over it and everything would be okay. I was wrong. Mark went downstairs and when I followed got up from his breakfast, and walking out got into his car and left. The next four days were the worst I could remember. For the first time my brother was angry at me, and I didn't know what to do, I know I was wrong, but still what was so wrong with the time we were spending? Why did he need Krissy? What wasn't I giving him?
Every night I would knock on his door and hope he would open it. The best I got was a sarcastic;
"Sweet dreams my sister." Through the door.
The next night was the same routine, but this time I started sobbing and begged him to open the door and at least talk to me. To my surprise he did, but didn't let me in, he just stood in the doorway and told me that it wasn't just about Krissy, that I had lied to him and he thought we were different, that we were everything to each other and no one else mattered, and that the main thing was that we were supposed to want each other to be happy and who the hell was I to decide who he would be happy with.
I started crying telling him I was sorry and that I didn't mean to hurt him. I told him that I couldn't sleep, that I needed him, and could I please come into the room with him? After looking at me for a minute Mark stepped aside and told me to come in. He walked over to his bed and lied down facing the wall, I got in next to him and slipping my shirt off put my arm around him and was told;
"It's a big bed Megan stay on your side. You're here to sleep, after all if I want sex, I can just go to Cynthia right?"
I rolled over and curling up on the edge of the bed cried myself to sleep. In the morning Mark was gone. I couldn't spend another night like that so I went to Betty's where we smoked and had few beers, which was when a couple of guys showed up to party with her. Apparently it was just supposed to be one, but Betty called and told them she had a friend. I didn't want to stay, but Betty gave me the "come on you'll ruin it for me". I stayed, and even ended up making out with one of the guys. His hands started wandering, and I realized I couldn't do it, Betty had no such problems so she told me I'd have to go home.
I was drunk and knew it but I decided I would just go slow and I'd be fine. Two miles from home I took a corner too fast, and seeing a dog in the middle of the street panicked; I yanked the wheel and floored the gas and smashed my small Celica straight into a telephone pole. I hit my head pretty hard on the windshield, and as I sat there dazed the cops showed up and searching the car found a couple of roaches in the ash tray. My car was towed and I was arrested for drunk driving and possession of marijauna. After a trip to the emergency room to make sure I was okay, they brought me to the station where I called the house.
Mark answered and I begged him not to hang up. I told him what happened, and asked him to come get me. A half hour later Mark showed up, but they wouldn't let me out without posting bail, and Mark didn't have enough money. I would have to spend the night in jail. Mark went to the pay phone, and Dad showed up in fifteen minutes and although he posted the money was so mad he told me to ride home with Mark.
As I sat all the way over on my end of the front seat, Mark pulled away and taking a different street than dad would, pulled over and leaning over put his arms out to me. I practically jumped into them, and he asked if I was okay. I said I was just scared then told him I didn't give a shit about the car or Dad I just couldn't stand him being mad at me anymore.
Mark held me and told me he was still upset, but I was his sister and he loved me and he was worried about me. He didn't really answer the question the way I had hoped, but he was holding me and that's all that counted. When he got me home Mom instantly hugged me, and asked if I was okay. As we sat the tow truck brought my car home. The hood was crumpled, and both fenders smashed, it was too far gone to be driven like that.
The first thing Dad said was that he was not going to fix the car, I was on my own with it. He told me he was glad I was okay but past that he was disgusted beyond words and didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. He asked when I was going to admit I had a problem, and did I like scaring the shit out of my mother, and for that matter did I like disappointing her? Dad shook his head and pointed out that I didn't even look like I cared even now, sad fact was he was right. I mean of course I didn't want to hurt them but I wasn't doing it on purpose it was just an accident.
As was always the case Dad stormed off pissed, and mom simply gave me another hug and said we would talk tomorrow. Her last words to me that night was that she loved me and so did Dad, and for me to never forget that. For the first time in weeks I felt something other than that detachment and found myself in tears in my mother's arms. Mom held me silently just gently rubbing my back as I cried then told me to go upstairs and get some rest.
I went upstairs, and after glancing briefly at my brother's bedroom door sighed, and went into my room. I went into the bathroom and after taking a hot shower tossed on a nightshirt and climbing into bed cuddled up with Scooby and prepared to endure another lonely sleepless night. A few minutes later I heard my bathroom door open and as I lied there Mark slipped wordlessly into my bed, and putting his arm around my waist pulled me close to him.
I immediately rolled over, and burying my head in his chest, started crying again, telling him how sorry I was that I had hurt him. Gently grabbing my chin Mark lifted my head up to his, and after kissing me softly on the lips told me he loved me and that I had scared him tonight. I nodded and tried to apologize again for Krissy. Mark told me that although he was still hurt over it what was done was done, and what mattered now was that I needed my brother and that he would be there for me no matter what. Those words hurt me more than if he had yelled at me. Mark, Mom, Dad; I had disappointed and hurt all of them yet they kept loving me. I didn't deserve it I started to tell Mark that, but he hushed me with another kiss and put my head back into his chest.
For the first time in over a year Mark spent the night in my bed without us having sex. Just like when we were younger we simply lied there holding each other. I fell asleep and was woken by my brother's hands sliding under my night shirt, and gently caressing my nipples, I moaned softly;
"Oh little brother I need you so bad!"
"Then you have me my beautiful sister." Mark whispered in my ear as his right hand slid down and stroked my sorely neglected pussy.
I lifted my leg and draped it over his, allowing him to push his fingers inside and thumb my clit. We didn't speak, Mark simply buried his face in my neck kissing my creamy skin, and occasionally nibbling playfully at my ear. Propping his leg up under mine Mark replaced his fingers with his cock. I groaned as his amazingly hard cock entered my needy little pussy for the first time in almost a week; easily the longest we had gone since we had started a year ago.
I turned my head to the side so that we could kiss, while he slowly worked his cock in and out of my very grateful pussy in perfect timing with the slow circles his thumb was turning on my clit. Mark's other hand was busy playing with my nipple, but unlike the last few months when we had been rough he was going easy, taking his time, building me up slowly. When I tried to buck my hips back into him to get him to go faster Mark whispered in my ear;
"Easy sis, it's been awhile I want to enjoy."
I sighed happily and stopped moving my hips, in fact I wasn't moving anything, just lying there on my side letting my brother take his time, and loving him loving me. Even as I felt my orgasm building I resisted the urge to push him to go faster or even to talk dirty. I just closed my eyes, and let my body take its time responding to my brother's talented fingers and massive cock. To my surprise I heard Mark's breathing pick up in my ear, and realized he was also getting close to cumming.
Reaching down I grabbed his cock at the base, and started slowly jerking him off as he fucked me. Mark moaned in my ear, and he sped up slightly pushing his cock deeper into his big sister's more than willing pussy. I was getting closer to my own orgasm with each thrust, and smiled as Mark began making those little whimpering noises directly in my ear. As I felt my thighs tremble and the first waves of pleasure begin to flow through my body I whispered;
"There you go little brother; you cum with your big sister you let her have every bit of it!"
I leaned my head back, and let out a series of high pitched little yelps just as my pussy began convulsing around it, my brother's cock began squirting his hot cum, painting the inside of my pleasure wracked pussy. Even while cumming Mark didn't speed up, somehow controlling himself, he continued to pump his spurting cock into my throbbing pussy. Finally; sighing in unison Mark slid his cock out of me, and collapsed into the bed as I let myself slump into him.
"Oh Mark that was soooo nice." I told him then added; "And so much better than I deserve. I'm sorry I..."
"Never say you don't deserve to be treated right Megan." Mark said with a seriousness that surprised me. "You were treated badly for a long time and from now on the best is what you deserve." He added more softly; "What we both deserve."