Shouldn't Have Kissed You

The fact that her father didn't say hey to her hurt so much. She knew that she was supposed to be immune to him ignoring her but she didn't. In fact, every time he did that, it hurt more than the other day. All Maya hope for the following day was that maybe only maybe he would see her has his daughter and not the murderer he thought she was. But that day it never came and the more he ignored her presences, the more her heart broke.

For crying out loud, he was her dad. The one who was supposed to love her and protected her from all harm. The one who was to teach her things in life and tell her that she could do it when she felt like giving up. The one who was supposed to hold her hand when she woke up in the middle of a night because of a nightmare.

But he didn't do that. In stead, he was the one who was hurting her. The one who was giving her the nightmares of her life. The one who made her get into a loveless marriage. And now, he was asking his son in law to have a mistress.

He was telling her husband that it was okay to have a mistress. It's not like she cared if he had one which he already had its just that it hurt that her father said it. He was the one who was advising on how to make her life a leaving hell as if it wasn't from the day she was born.

She wanted to walk out on the two men but it seemed that her dad wasn't done talking. He had called her a whore and that wasn't enough for him at all. He went ahead and said the words that he had been saying since she laughed how to understand the language of people. She was just a baby by then and she grew up with the words.

How she wished she was dead for real since in other ways, she was walking dead.

"How can you wish that to you own flesh?" Asked her husband look at the man that she grew up calling dad when he never deserved to be called that by her.

She didn't get it why he was acting like a caring husband when they all knew the truth. This was fake. Their marriage and everything that consented the both of them. But it didn't sting like it did when it came to her father.

For crying out loud, she was his sperm. The one that he carried around for years. The one that won the journey of million runs. The one that survived when no other could do it. But he never gave a damn abou her. Not even once and when he saw that video.

The one of her with Chris kissing in front of the world. He got mad. Real mad that he came bursting into her room without bothering how to knock. The memory of that day so vivid and it would remain that till her last breath.

It was only in the morning when he budged into her room and throwing the tablet on her bed demanding for an explanation. She didn't have one after seeing the video since that is something that people do. It just happened that that day was her turn. It's not like she had thrown herself to him or anything. It just happened.

After one month and two weeks, he came to her and said that she had to marry that man. The man that she had no idea of who he was in matters of personal life. She knew Chris as the guy that owned a company in fashion show and he was also a musician. That's all she knew about him. What everyone else knew.

So without word, she agreed to his demand. She let her father organize their date somewhere public why a paparazzi could take a picture and spread the rumours that they were dating. And in those dates nothing was spoken apart from staring at each other.

Chris didn't want to talk to her because according to him, it was her fault. He said she should have pushed him away when he leaned in for a kiss but she didn't. Instead she let him do that. He went to an exten to accuse her and her dad for placing this trap for him. He was made and she understood him.

Maya knew he had a life but hey father never cared. To him, his reputation was more important than anything in the only apart from his son. Her brother. He was first and then the image he built for the public. As for her, she never existed in his life. She just there not to be see, heard and neither appear unless called for.

So in order to make everyone to see his all good reputation, he made them marry after two months of fake dates. No, not fake but forced ones for that matter. And when he asked Chris to dance with her on their wedding day.

He didn't do that because he was her Dad, he did that so that he could threaten her in front of everyone. The only thing was that it was only for her ears to hear and no one else. Maya felt a lump form in her throat as she fought the tears that were threatening to break free.

"Please, don't tell me you're falling for her sweet innocent face, Chris," he called him as he took his champagne to his lips. "Don't let her looks deceive you. She is a murderer." Maya didn't say anything. What was she even going to say anyway?

"I thought by us having dinner together, it would be fun but I should have thought better." He said getting up and pulling his wallet out to take some cash out. "My wife and I'll just have some take aways on our way home."

Maya got up from her seat and began walking away. She didn't spare her father a look but she heard him tell Chris something like don't ever say I didn't warn you. When they walked out, she let the cold air flow on her face hence preventing the tears as they waited for the valet to bring their car.

Once it was there, she walked to the passenger seat and rolled the window down. She didn't want to even spare Chris a glance. After all it was all his fault. His fault for wanting her to suffer as he had promised the day the got married. All she hoped was that he was now pleased with the results. She hoped he was happy seeing how her father hated her.

Maya didn't wait for the car to come to a stop before she got out. If it was getting hurt, she has been living with the pain since she was a toddler. She rushed to his room without wanting to know if Bernice was still awake.

Just when she was about to push the door closed, Chris walked in with a worried expression on his face. She turned away from him and walked to the bathroom. She needed to relive herself from the tears she fought in front of him.

Maya let the cold water hit her still covered body. She sat on the floor and let her tears flow with the water. Maybe one day, she would get over them. Maybe they will run dry one day and she won't need to fight the back anymore. As the water run over her, she let all the bad memories flash and they seemed more than the happy ones.

She could even count her happy moments and they would at least Sum up to ten or eleven. Once she was tired, she got out of her clothes and wore her sweatpants and T-shirt. Chris sat on the age of the bed and when she walked out, he looked up at her.

"Maya, I'm truly sorry for what happened today."

She didn't say anything instead she looked away and walked to the cold floor that was now her bed for the past one month and three weeks. She laid there and cursed herself for being that weak. She thought she had cried enough for that day when she was in the bathroom.

"Maya," he called her, "please say something."

She didn't. Instead she coiled herself farther as she wiped a tear that slid down her face. What did he want her to say anyway. He was winning whatever gave he was playing. So why act like he cared when he didn't?

"Maya?" He called her placing his hand on her shaking body.

That was her last straw. She pushed his hand away and got up from the floor. She looked at him and all she could feel was hatred towards him. She never thought that he would cause her this much pain. But again, it was Chris freaking Rollins. Her bitter husband. The one who loved himself more than he cared to admit. The one who thought the world revolved around him only.

"What do you want me to say Chris?" She asked hating herself for the tears that were flowing down her cheeks at that moment. "Do you want me to congratulate you for remembering that I've a real name and not the ones that you call me? It the part that you called my father to have dinner with us so that you could humiliate me. What do you want me to say?"

"I didn't know that the relationship between you and your Dad was that bad. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" She asked laughing, "For which part, the one that he ignored me when I said hi or the one that he called me a whore like you do or the one that he called me a murderer? Ooh, wait or the part that he wished I was dead."

"I thought that you guys where a team."

She looked at him, "You thought?" She asked. "The good thing about you is thinking. You always think. Think of how to make my life a living hell but what you don't know is that I've been in hell for a long time now. I mean, you think me sleeping on a cold floor is hell? Then you don't know how to touche. Ask Mr. Freeman and he will tell you how it's done."

She watched Chris take a step towards her and she moved away from him. It was his fault for thinking. Think that if they dinned with Mr. Freeman, then he would humiliate her. He got what he wanted the most. Revenge. So she didn't understand what more he wanted.

"Maya, I never meant for events to turn the way the did tonight. I just wanted you to feel the way I felt for the past one week. Having my mum around and not talking to me. You know, I wanted you to do something that will make your Dad cushion you."

Maya laughed a bitter laughter.

"Chris, I've been feeling that my whole life. Rejected, ignored and hated. And you just experienced it in one week and you complain? You mother has been watching you from a distance. She even asks about you every time she sees me. She was even going to talk to you today it's self and you wanted me to feel your pain? What if I gave you mine. I grew up knowing my father hated me. I've a brother whom he loves so much and he paid attention to than he ever glanced at me. And just few minutes ago you heard him wish that I was dead and you got shocked? I've heard that my whole life. The only time I haven't heard it was for the past one month and three weeks that I've been leaving hear. You want to know what the real hurt is?"

She asked removing her tee shirt revealing her upper part. She wore sports bra and at that time, she didn't give shit about what he thought of her. She watched his eyes when he looked at her stomach. It was the first he saw it so had to get the reaction of pure horror from her.

"You See this," she pointed her stomach, "it's what is called suffering." She held a scar that was on her left rib and looked at him, "This was my first one. He pissed me when I was only in grade three. I still remember that day vividly. What had I done? I broke a glass of water, that was my mistake. My own father took a knife and did this to me, leaving me to die. That was all he ever wished for. So when he found me lifeless on the floor after two hours, he took me to the hospital and lied to the doctors that I had been attacked by robberies."

She wiped away her tears and moved her hand to her right hand just below the ribs.

"You See this one. I got it the day my brother went away. According to him, it was my fault that his apple of his eye had left home to got to be killed. So before my brother's cops could get to him, he preferred I die first. My nanny found me and rushed me to hospital. If wasn't for her, you won't be married to me as we speak."

She looked at him and she saw pity. He felt sorry for her and she didn't like it. She placed her hand on her up above her umbilical cord and held a scar that looked to faint away.

"And guess this one was for what?" She asked locking her gaze with his, "You got it correctly. It's for kissing you on stage. Yes, I paid for it already but it seemed like you weren't satisfied with my father's punishment. Why do you think it took me one month and one week before I came to you, I mean before my dad tracked you down? The answer is that I was in a hospital bed fighting for my life. I so very much wanted to give up. Hell... I didn't want to wake up but the injury wasn't that much deep despite it being made to kill. I mean, it's only inches away from my umbilical cord. And now you think you're punishing me? You calling me names that I've already graduated from be called. Bring your mistress to our honeymoon to make me feel sad and pain? Sleeping on the cold floor. There are allot that I haven't told you about. That was just a summary of me trying to explain that I've been in hell all my life.

"All my life I've known nothing but pain. I've grown with it and it's part of me. I've been alone most especially when by brother left me behind. So please help me understand what are you sorry for because I'm confused here and I hate being confused."

Chris was about to stretch out his hand to touch her when she took another step back saying don't. Maya pulled her shirt back on and laid back on the floor. That was her life and she didn't care what he thought. What she didn't want was his pity.

She felt him walk away from where she slept and felt the door open then close. Her tears flowed freely as she thought of what she had done. It was bad as it was. The only person she wanted to share her scars with was her brother. Not Chris.

She didn't know how long she silently cried but what she knew was that it was the last time she shade her tears again. Tomorrow was a new day. A day full of hope for her. A day that everything would change for for good. And with that, she let sleep consume her without caring anything about her husband's where abouts.000000☐☐☐☐☐