SWNOVELS Sheer Cupidity: Chapter 8
LEX
The sudden weight of something on top of me yanks me from sleep. Blearily, I open my eyes to the morning light and find that it isn’t a pillow or blankets that have piled up on me. No, there’s a small, aggressive person straddling my stomach and pointing an arrow at my face.
It’s not the best wake-up call I’ve ever had.
Though, it’s also not the worst…
The little person has pink ringlets hanging in tangled ropes around her shoulders, red wings flared on either side of her, and multi-colored eyes just like her mom. She’s also older than the triplets I saw last night, which means…
“Umm…Amorette?”
The fierce looking girl narrows her eyes, and the Love Arrow she’s clutching in her hand presses into my cheek. Not hard enough to hurt, but I wince anyway. “Are those my arrows?” I ask.
“Who are you?” she replies, looking very suspicious.
“I’m Lex. Your mom’s friend.”
The suspicion on her face only grows. “My mommy doesn’t have any friends. Well…except Mossie. And I just came from her house, so you’re not her.”
“Well, I’m actually more of her assistant?”
“That’s Sev.”
That’s…that’s true. I feel like I’m losing here.
My gaze flicks to the side where the arrow is still perched against my face. “You really shouldn’t play with weapons.”
The girl makes a noise of disgust. “I’m not playing. And anyway, I bet I’m better with weapons than you. You sure you know how to shoot?” she asks, eyeing me dubiously.
My mouth drops open in offense. “Excuse me, young lady, but I’ll have you know that I’ve won the short-range and long-range shooting competitions in all of cupidity multiple times.”
Amorette snorts and says something under her breath. I can’t be sure, but I think it might’ve been yeah, right. She jumps off the bed and lands nimbly on her feet, and I have to admit, she seems like she has a lot of muscles in her arms for a five-year-old.
Not wanting to miss my chance before she shoves another weapon into my face, I quickly yank back the covers and get up from bed. Amorette watches me with an arched brow as I pull on my clothes from last night, though I leave off the blazer. Slipping my feet into my flats, I take in her fitted trousers and long shirt that’s tied at the back, allowing her wings plenty of room.
“Do you often point weapons threateningly at strangers?”
She looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Of course I do. Don’t you?”
“Of course not!” I quickly say.
“Oh really?” she asks before she reaches behind her to my quiver and bow that’s now strapped to her back. “You don’t shoot these at strangers?”
My open mouth quickly clamps shut. “I do it to spread love,” I argue.
She rolls her eyes. “Well, I do it to spread violence. My way is better.”
I laugh, but when she doesn’t join in on the joke, I realize she’s serious. My laughter dies away very quickly.
Luckily, I’m saved by a knock at the door, and I practically pounce on it, yanking it open.
“Good morning!” Emelle chirps at me before her eyes land on her daughter. “Amorette? What are you doing in here?”
The girl points at me. “Did you know that this person came into our home with weapons?” she accuses, crossing her little arms in front of her. “You’re lucky I came in here and took them.”
Emelle lets out a sigh. “This person is Lex, and she’s a cupid. Which you know, because she has the same pink hair and red wings as you. And those aren’t weapons, they’re just Love Arrows.”
Amorette doesn’t look placated. “Love Arrows are probably worse. If someone Love Arrowed a stupid boy and he tried to kiss me, I’d stab him for sure.”
“Gods, it’s too early for this,” Emelle mumbles to herself before straightening up. “Right. Apologize to Lex for sneaking into her room and probably threatening to stab her.”
I feel like this might have happened before.
“Sorry,” Amorette mutters before she flicks her attention to her mom. “Can I go?”
“Yes. Go have breakfast. After you give Lex her stuff back.”
Amorette’s bottom lip puckers out in a pout, but she grudgingly hands me my bow and quiver back before she quickly turns and takes off down the hall.
“You’ve got your hands full,” I say with a smile.
“So freaking full,” Emelle replies. “Believe it or not, this scenario has happened a time or two before.”
“You don’t say,” I reply dryly.
The two of us make our way up the stairs and down the hall, to where breakfast is in full swing. If I thought things were boisterous last night, it’s nothing compared to now. Okot is plopping down what looks like pancakes on everyone’s plates, while Evert is arguing with Arrow about eating his applesauce. Ronak has Amorette on his lap, and they’re both cutting their ham with actual daggers, while Ettie wails about not having a bigger pancake than her sister Kalila.
Madness. It’s madness. And quite loud.
“Here you go, Lex,” Sylred says, plunking down a chair for me before pulling out another for his mate. “Good morning, mate.”
She pecks a kiss on his lips. “Always the nice one.”
“I was very nice last night,” he replies, making her cheeks go pink as she shoots him a smile.
Looking away from their private moment, I’m glad for Okot’s timing when he flips a pancake onto my empty plate. “Thank you.”
For the duration of breakfast, I enjoy just watching them all. There’s absolutely nothing orderly about them, but they’re endearing, and funny, and real. No pretenses, no awkwardness. There’s nothing but resounding love in this house, and for an overachieving cupid, it makes me both incredibly happy and inconceivably sad.
I’ll never have this.
That quiet thought tries to wriggle in like a worm and burrow down deep, but I sniff it away. Stay busy. I just need to stay busy.
“So, I was thinking, if it’s alright with you, I’d like to fly to some of the neighboring islands and work.”
Emelle looks over, fork poised in front of her mouth. “You want to work here?”
My brows draw together. “Of course,” I say, confused by her hesitancy. “But if you’d rather me help out with some assistant work, I can do that instead.”
“That’s not what I meant. If you want to work, you can, but I thought you’d enjoy a break.”
A break? Where I would do nothing? Where I’d be without any distraction or goals? That sounds awful.
“No,” I answer quickly. Probably too quickly, based on the way her eyebrows lift. “I mean, I like staying busy.”
She searches my face for a moment. “Okay. Whatever you want to do. Honestly, I meant what I said last night. Everything’s been fine. You don’t need to feel bad about doing your own thing for the last few years. It wouldn’t matter to me if you never wanted to do any kind of assistant work or cupid work or anything ever again. It’s your life, Lex.” She pauses with a tilt of her head. “Well. Your afterlife. Cupid life? You know what I mean.”
I smile. “I’m happiest when I’m working.”
Happiest. Not happy. Key distinction.
“I understand,” Emelle replies, and the way she looks at me makes me think that she truly does. “I mean, not from personal experience,” she adds. “I got really tired of the whole cupid thing.” She wrinkles her nose. “Probably not awesome, considering I’m in charge of the whole thing.”
“But you’ve made things better for all cupids everywhere. So really, it’s a good thing that you didn’t particularly…excel when you worked on the front lines,” I supply helpfully.
She pats me on the shoulder. “This is why you’re my favorite.”
After breakfast, I clean up in the bathroom, and even though Emelle offers to let me borrow her clothes, I decline. She’s given me enough already.
“You sure you don’t want to stay here a bit longer?” Emelle asks as she walks me outside.
Stepping into the front garden, I breathe in the fresh air and sunshine. “I’m sure. Besides, if I do, your daughter might stab me.”
She bobs her head back and forth. “True. I’d better put you on the no-stab list.”
My eyebrows jump up. “There’s a list?”
A long-suffering sigh escapes her. “She must be Ronak’s biological daughter. It’s the only explanation.”
I think of the glaring, hulking genfin and nod. “That…would make sense.”
“So, what’s your personal goal this time?” Emelle asks. “Shooting five hundred Love Arrows? Blowing enough Lust Breath to fuel an entire fae city’s fertility festival?”
I fidget, not quite meeting her eyes. “Something like that.”
Her eyes narrow, and for a second, I swear her wings flare with a bit of light. “Did you know that when I went in and out of the Veil before I was a boss, I got all messed up and accidentally took on some of the other entities’ powers?”
“Yes…”
In a blink, her feathered wings pop out, but unlike every other cupid, they aren’t solid red. Instead, some of the feathers fade into black and white. She taps at one of the white-edged ones. “That includes angel powers. Which means I know when someone’s lying.”
My heart pounds in my chest, but I keep my face impassive, even though I start to feel all sweaty. “Oh? That’s probably handy with four kids.”
“It really is. It’s gonna be awesome when they’re teenagers.”
We stare at each other for a beat, but Emelle doesn’t relent. “So are you gonna tell me why you’re lying?”
My hands wring together. “Well, I hadn’t planned on it.”
It’s not even something I’ve fully thought out yet, and I’m a planner. But last night while I was lying in bed, I knew that my journey here to the fae realm had to include more than just me facing Emelle again.
I have to face the thief who’s haunting me.
But I’m not ready to tell her that, so I stay quiet.
“Fine,” she says with a sigh. “Keep your secrets. But before you go, I just wanted to talk to you about something you said last night. About not knowing why Belren died for you.”
Nervousness has me shuffling my feet. “Yes…”
Her gentle hand goes to my shoulder. “He jumped in front of you that day to protect you—it was as simple as that,” she tells me, making me meet her eyes again. “Belren was…impulsive. But he also knew his own mind. He knew you were worth saving, Lex. And I hope you know that too.”
Emotion gets stuck in my throat like a clogged drain, and I’m unable to swallow it down, unable to even reply.
As if she can sense my struggle, she squeezes my shoulder before dropping it.
Just as she opens her mouth to say something else, all four kids come tearing out of the house, giggling like mad. Arrow shifts into his bull form the second he hits the grass. Their squeals and shrieks are loud enough to hurt my ears as they dash away, with a discombobulated Evert following, though he trips on his way up the stairs that lead from his sunken front door.
“Hey! I said you have to brush your teeth first!”
“Keep running!” Amorette war cries to the other kids, leading the way. “Never surrender!”
“Wow,” I say through a whistle. “They’re really fast.”
Emelle lets out a sigh as we watch them race past the garden gate toward the grassy hill beyond. “Yep.”
“Little help?” Evert calls as he races after them.
She wrinkles her nose and makes no move to follow. “You know how I feel about running!”
He shoots her a look over his shoulder. “You have wings!”
“Oh. Right.” She turns to look at me. “I’d better go help him, or he’ll get all grumpy.”
“I don’t get fucking grumpy!” Evert shouts back, though he’s already out of sight.
Emelle snickers before turning to look at me. “You’ll be okay?”
I’d say there’s a sixty-forty chance.
“Of course,” I tell her brightly.
She comes close and yanks me into a quick hug. “Don’t disappear for several years again, okay?”
I’m the worst Cupid of the Month ever.
“I won’t,” I promise before lifting my arm to show my cupid number. “Call me if you need me.”
She presses a finger to her cupid boss mark, which makes my own number light up in a flare of red that matches my wings’ feathers, letting me know I’m being summoned. “Oooh, red!” she exclaims. “I’ve never seen what it actually looks like on your end. Good to know it works—and it’s bright. No wonder Sev can’t ignore it even when he’s hungover. These are super-efficient.”
I laugh as I imagine a grumbling Sev being blinded by its red, peppy glare.
“See you soon,” Emelle tells me, though it sounds a bit like an order too.
With a grin, I readjust the bow and quiver at my back. I’m definitely short a Love Arrow, and I have a sneaking suspicion I know which cupid-genfin has it. Not that I’m going to rat Amorette out. She’s far too keen on violence.
As soon as I pop into the Veil, going invisible once again, Emelle turns in the direction of her kids and mate, and I take flight into the sky. I see Evert being tackled by all four little ones, and a smile tips my cheeks before I turn and fly away.
Once I’m far above the island, all of the lightness and contagious love I felt being around Emelle and her family starts to fade. Loneliness doesn’t take long to settle in. It’s always creeping behind me just waiting for me to stop, and when I do, it’s right back at my side again.
My expression goes grim as I set my sights on where I need to go, and even though all I want to do is turn back around and take Emelle up on her offer for me to stay, I won’t. Not yet.
I need to go back to where it all happened—to visit the one place I never had the courage to go.
The place where Belren died for me.