SWNOVELS Sheer Cupidity: Chapter 26
BELREN
I wish that the blush staining Lex’s cheeks had to do with the post-coital glow, but I know that’s not it. No, that pink tinge is a good old-fashioned anger-glow. Or maybe disappointment, which is even worse.
Speaking of glowing, the hearth hob is practically lit up too, but hers is from a post-cleaning bliss. She must’ve gotten a hell of a power boost from cleaning up Lex’s spill. Yet, she maintains her glare, as if she’s put-out by having to clean.
Miur and Lex are standing in the kitchen again, a new tablecloth laid out on top of the table, not a stain or crumb anywhere in sight. No matter where I stand or what I say, Lex is pointedly ignoring me. It’s the first time since finding her that I’ve actually felt invisible.
“Pinky,” I call from across the kitchen. I’m trying to give her space as I lean against the wall, but really, all I want to do is stride over there and yank her out of her chair until she’s flush against me and we can talk. But I can’t, because she’s blocked herself off from me again.
“Pinky,” I repeat.
Nothing. Not so much as an eye twitch.
Lips pressing together, I straighten up, yanking my shoulder out from the wall in the process. “You were right in wanting to talk. I was a complete bastard back there, and I apologize for that,” I tell her. “You can’t avoid looking at me forever.”
And she…yep. She avoids looking at me. Hopefully, she won’t be on a mission to prove me wrong, because I can see her doing something like that.
I open my mouth to try to convince her to not do just that, but a sharp pang in my gut suddenly strangles the words right from my throat. I jolt forward, my back going rigid as the sensation overwhelms me.
Godsdammit.
A noise tries to cloy up my throat, but I clamp it down. There’s an invisible line that wants to drag me away, pierced right through the middle of my body.
This can’t happen.
I can’t be pulled back now. Not when Lex is angry with me, not when there’s still so much I want to say and do. I have to keep fighting it.
If I give in to this call to my deathplace, it could fuck me up permanently. I might not be able to come back from it, might not be able to find this perfectionist cupid of mine again. The thought of that hurts worse than this tugging demand.
I don’t want to forget, and I don’t want to be forgotten.
The pull intensifies, but instead of giving in, I center my gaze on Lex. I keep my focus wholly on her. I memorize the lines of her gorgeous face and adorable downturned mouth. Her pink hair pulled back tight, not even a strand out of place to betray that she was doing anything at all in the bathroom earlier. Red-feathered wings against her back like the curves of a heart, haloed behind her shoulders.
She really is exquisite. Far too vibrant, far too alive for the likes of me.
If I were a better ghost, I’d let myself be pulled away. I’d let her move on to live her life, without haunting her anymore.
But I’m not.
I will fight tooth and nail against the endless abyss to stay by her side.
When another seizing pull jerks at me, it goes through me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. My arms hang at my sides, and I try to curl my hands into fists, but I feel nothing. It’s unnerving to not be able to tense up and physically brace myself. Instead, I have to do some sort of godsdamned breathing exercise. Which is ridiculous, considering I don’t actually breathe.
After a few drawn-out moments, the pulling sensation fades enough that I can think straight again without feeling like I’m about to be yanked out of existence. I slump back against the wall, exhausted.
It takes me a few moments to realize that Lex is looking at me with a frown. I immediately try to straighten up and relax my face, but it’s too late. I know she noticed the grimace that was there. I’ll probably get asked a hundred questions about it too. The thought makes me smile.
As soon as my lips tip up, Lex looks away, and I deflate.
“Again, I’m so sorry about the mess,” Lex tells her.
Miur sniffs, running a finger over her curly eyebrow. “See that you’re more careful next time.”
“As if you wouldn’t set her up again just to get another cleaning boost,” I say with a roll of my eyes.
Lex’s eyes meet mine for a split second before she focuses on Miur again. It was not a nice look by any stretch of the word, but I still swell up with pride like I’m some sort of victor.
“Of course,” she says to Muir with a quick nod before carefully twisting her fingers together. The nervous gesture of hers is unexplainably endearing.
“I suppose you’ll be wanting to hear about the princess now.”
Lex clears her throat, gaze flicking around with some uncertainty. “Actually, something has come up, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to see your princess right now.”
Miur was halfway to her chair but stops in her tracks when she hears Lex’s words. “What do you mean you can’t see her?” she demands. “You’re Emelle. The cupid who helped her back at the palace. She said if you’re ever here, that you’re to be taken to her.”
Lex winces a bit, and I realize it’s because she hates disappointing anyone. She also doesn’t like lying. “Yes, I realize that, but like I said, I’m going to have to come back another time.”
There’s an awkward silence that spreads between them where Miur watches her with displeasure, calculation turning in her gaze. Lex shifts where she stands, making her arrows and bow shift, her wings tightening against her back. Even I can feel the tension in the room, which is impressive since I can’t feel anything else. But if this hob doesn’t stop glaring at my cupid, I’m going to figure out how to haunt her dustbin and scare the shit out of her every time she goes to use it.
Lucky for her and her cleaning equipment, Miur finally nods, “Right. Well, I understand. Things do come up.”
Lex visibly relaxes. “Yes, they do.”
“I’m sure you’ll understand my side as well,” Miur says, nodding to herself. “The princess told us that she wanted to see the cupid if she ever showed her face here, and we are loyal to her.”
“I admire your loyalty. Though I am curious—what happened during the rebellion?” Lex asks. “From what I understand, you were all against the elitist monarchy of the high fae. Soora had support from the ‘lower fae’ because of this stance, promising to help change things, but then she decided to flee instead of help at the end. Yet, you’re still loyal to her.”
My eyes widen slightly before my gaze fastens onto the hob to see how she’ll take this line of questioning.
Unsurprisingly, anger flashes in Miur’s eyes. “Princess Soora betrayed nothing,” she snaps with vehemence. “And any fae who says otherwise is a dirty liar.”
I suppose a dirty liar is a very terrible insult to a hearth hob. Perfectionist Lex doesn’t seem to like it either, considering how she rears back.
Miur shakes her head. “Princess Soora is the one who gave fae like us a stepping stone for change. She advocated for us. She never liked that the high fae often looked down on every other fae kind with derision and scorn. Prince Elphar backed her into a corner. The princess did what she thought was right, and every fae who speaks poorly of her now is disloyal scum,” she practically spits, the blonde curls on her head bouncing with every jerky movement. “It’s because of the princess that we no longer have a high fae sitting on the throne and that all other fae are being advocated for. She should be viewed as a hero. Not a traitor.”
“I didn’t mean to offend,” Lex offers quietly.
Miur sniffs and whips out a cleaning rag, starting to wipe down the spotless kitchen counter. “I won’t have anyone talk negatively about my princess.”
“Understandable.” Lex nods before taking a step away. “Well, anyway, I don’t want to take up any more of your time.”
Miur goes on like she didn’t hear her. “Soora was good to all fae kind. Never treated them poorly just because someone was different. You should know that more than most,” she says pointedly.
Lex looks confused for a moment before she tries to cover it up. “Oh, yes. Of course. Because I’m a cupid.”
“Mm-hmm. Not many high fae in her position would’ve trusted someone like you, but she did. Even helped you get back your mates, from what I heard.”
Even though I know Miur thinks Lex is Emelle, I still don’t like hearing that she has mates. Irrational, yes, but the idea still irritates me.
“Soora was very helpful,” Lex supplies before taking another step toward the door of the kitchen. “Well, I’d better be going. Thank you so much for the tea, and when I’m able to come and speak with the princess, I will come see you right away.”
I get ready to follow her, more than ready to get the hell out of here so I can get Lex to talk to me again. Or just look at me. I’d settle for her threatening me, to be perfectly honest.
Miur stuffs her cleaning rag away in her brown cloak. “One moment,” she says, holding up a finger.
Lex stops, adjusting the quiver’s strap over her shoulder as she waits expectantly.
“I swear, if she tries to get you to make another mess…” My words trail off when Miur’s eyes cut over to the window.
“Ah, right on time,” she says.
Lex frowns. “What?”
I’m already moving, my body going right through the outer wall of the kitchen to see what she’s looking at. When my head pops out far enough to get to the outside, I see a group of burly-looking hearth hobs coming right up to her doorstep.
I walk outside, my brows pulling together at the sight of the five males, something inside me growing gnarled with unease. Before I can get a good look at them all, the door is yanked open, and Miur lets them in. “She’s right in the kitchen,” she tells them.
Anger—dark and uninhibited—comes flaring to life inside of me. What the fuck is happening?
Following them, I demand, “What do you think you’re doing?”
I receive no answer, of course.
The hobs barrel inside with me hot on their heels, and when I make it into the kitchen, Lex is wide-eyed. “What’s going on?” she asks, her tone tinged with worry.
The fact that she’s even a little bit apprehensive makes me fucking crazy, but not as much as the fact that these males are cornering her. I shove right past them, not caring that one of their arms passes through me on my way to her.
I come up beside her, part of my body in front of hers. It would be effective if it weren’t for the fact that I’m uselessly transparent and unseen by anyone else but her, yet I can’t help but try to shield her anyway. For what it’s worth, she seems to relax ever so slightly with my nearness.
Miur ignores Lex’s question, stopping in front of the group she let in. “This is the cupid, Emelle, just like I said.”
The one with red curly hair down to his shoulders scans his eyes over Lex. “You sure she’s the cupid? I was expecting someone more…lovey looking.”
I would think the offended look that crosses Lex’s face was adorable if I weren’t so pissed off.
A different hob cocks his head, scratching at his perfectly spiraled black beard. “No, that’s her—it’s gotta be. She’s got stubbed ears and feathered wings. No one else looks like that.”
The redhead shrugs. “If you say so.”
“Lex,” I growl out of the side of my mouth, because I don’t like this. Not one fucking bit. “Turn and run out the door as fast as you can.”
But she doesn’t. Instead, my stickler-for-politeness cupid draws herself up and says, “It’s rude to talk about people like they’re not there.”
“Really? That’s what you’re worried about right now?”
She shoots me a defensive look that says, yes, really. “Manners matter.”
Oh, for the love of—
“What are you waiting for?” Miur snips impatiently. “Take her. I need to mop the floors.”
Before I’ve fully processed her order, the hobs all move as one, instantly converging onto my cupid. Lex backs up, but when one of them reaches out to grab her, I see red. “Don’t touch her!”
I take a step forward to shove the bastard, but my hand just goes right through him.
Godsdammit.
A frustrated growl wrenches out of me. Lex’s exit is blocked, her back hitting the wall, face gone pale, and I fucking lose it.
A noise that’s more animal than fae comes out of me, and I start mindlessly attacking, though fuck-all good it does. Every fist I throw goes right through the assholes, every snarled threat, unheard.
Useless. I’m a useless fucking ghost.
But Lex’s yelp behind me has me feeling fury like I’ve never known before, and something in me seems to heat up into a molten rage.
My hand flies out at the nearest hob, and before I realize what I’ve done, my palm makes contact with the male’s back. I send him flying across the room, where he lands in a terrific crash against the kitchen table. Glass and wood shatter to pieces, and Miur lets out a startled scream, while the rest of the room seems to freeze in place.
Heaving, I whirl around, fully expecting for the others to have my cupid in their clutches, but I grind to a surprised halt. The commotion has stopped, but not because of me. Not even because of the crashing table.
Nope, the rest of the males are all standing completely still because of my pink-haired female. She’s not cowering, and she’s definitely not being held hostage. Instead, she has her bow nocked and her arrow aimed at the assholes like the fiercest cupid I could ever imagine.
I’m not going to lie, it’s fucking sexy.
Lex flicks her eyes toward me, eyebrow slightly cocked. “Did you just shove that guy?”
Now she looks at me. Stubborn female.
The hobs in front of her who have their hands raised up look behind them nervously. Her question makes them just now realize that their last group member is groaning on the floor over a pile of table rubble.
“Dammit, Hankil, get up,” the redhead hisses at him. “You’re always tripping!”
“I didn’t trip, Tiom!” Hankil snarls back as he tries and fails to roll onto his side, bits of table covering his stodgy form. “One of you clumsy asses pushed me.”
“Look at this mess!” Miur cries shrilly, eyes as wide as the broken saucers on the floor.
At least three of the hobs all quickly call out at the same time, “I’ll help clean it!”
“You will not,” she snaps, and I think her curly hair puffs up a little like a territorial cat.
“You alright?” I ask Lex.
She gives a tiny, terse nod, body angled and arms held strong as she continues to aim her arrows.
“Now that we’re all calmer, someone better tell me what you’re trying to do with me, or else I’ll start letting arrows fly,” she threatens, eyes sweeping around the room.
No one says a word at first, and Lex narrows her eyes and starts to pull back on the bowstring even more, making them all flinch.
“Wait a minute,” Hankil pipes up, finger pointed as he finally gets to his feet. “That’s just a cupid arrow—it’s got a heart on the end of it.”
The rest of them shift on their feet, studying her weapon more closely, as if they’re considering trying to rush at her again. But Lex holds her ground and cocks a confident brow. “First of all, if you think love isn’t more dangerous than a flesh wound, you’re massively underestimating things. I could shoot you up with so much unrequited love that you’d be wallowing for years,” she claims. “Secondly, I’m not in the Veil, which means these Love Arrows are very real right now.”
“Yeah, sure.”
She looks positively offended.
“You know, I don’t appreciate the fact that you don’t think Love Arrows are serious,” she snaps. “You have to be a licensed cupid to even so much as handle one. And furthermore, they can be just as dangerous in the Veil. I once mis-shot a male when I was a new recruit, and he never recovered. Cried himself to sleep like a baby every night from the ache in his chest since his Match was already with someone else,” she goes on, posture unyielding and tone firm. “Imagine what I can do to not only you, but this entire island. I can mess up so many love lives, tangle up so many heartstrings that it will take years to untangle them all.”
Hankil audibly gulps while the black-bearded one leans over and whispers, “Can she really do that?”
“You bet your broom I can do that,” she cuts in. “Trust me, you do not want to have a cupid on your bad side. I will make your love life so messy even you won’t be able to clean it up.”
Two of them back away a step. One of them looks a little green.
I don’t even try to hide my smirk as I come up to stand beside her. “When you’re all violent and proper like this, it really turns me on.”
She clears her throat, trying to pretend she isn’t affected by my words. Too bad her cheeks never lie.
“Now, what in the realm are you trying to do?” Lex demands.
“Sorry, Miss Cupid,” the shortest of the bunch says, shoving his way to the front. He’s tried to cut his hair short, the brown spirals looking like they’re trying to sprout off his head in all different directions. “Miur here told us to come and to take you to the princess. Forcibly, if need be.”
“Shut up, Fig,” one of them hisses.
Anger shoots down my spine, and I idly wonder if I can punch one of the hobs this time or if it was a one-off.
Lex looks to Miur, where the female is picking up pieces of the broken table. “Why would you try to force me to go?”
Miur freezes in place but tries to play it off with a huff as she straightens up. “Well, the princess said if Emelle was ever to come here, we’re to take her to meet up, so that’s the end of it. We won’t fail her,” she says firmly. “The princess might trust you, but I don’t. She needs you, so I’ll make sure you go to her.”
I can see Lex struggling with what to do and say. “I will go,” she offers. “But I just…can’t go right now.”
“And why not?”
“It’s complicated.” Lex’s eyes shift to me for a split second. “I’m…” She trails off before blowing out a conflicted breath. “I’m not Emelle,” she admits with a wince, like she’s bracing herself.
Instead of getting the shocked responses like she probably expects, Miur simply throws up her hands. “You hear this garbage?” she tells the others. “The cupid lies! And she threatened us!”
“No, I’m not lying, I’m telling the truth!” Lex says desperately. In a quick maneuver, she manages to press against her cupid mark like she’s trying to summon the real Emelle. Before the hobs even realize she’s dropped her arrow, she’s got it back up and aimed perfectly again. “And I didn’t threaten you until you tried to take me forcibly!”
Miur ignores her as she continues to implore the others. “She’s trying to lie now because she has no intention of ever coming to see Princess Soora. Which means she’s clearly not on our side. She’s going to leave and tell other fae that we’re hiding the princess!”
“I wouldn’t do that!”
I can’t help but snicker. “Yeah, the plan was to go on a murder spree. Not out her to the others.”
“It’s not a murder spree!” Lex hisses, pinning me with a glare.
“Who said anything about murder?” Miur chokes out, hand gripping her chest.
Lex’s head whips back to face her, and she immediately shakes her head. “What? No one. There’s nothing about murder. I didn’t mean—”
“SHE’S PLANNING TO MURDER OUR PRINCESS!” Miur’s scream is so loud that it nearly hurts my ears. But her shriek makes the rest of the hobs leap into action. “Get her!”
The hobs rush at her, and Lex’s arm jerks upright. She fires off the first arrow, making it hit the arm of the bearded hob closest to her. He staggers back with the force of it, clutching at where it landed, while bluish smoke pollutes the air.
“Lex! Go into the Veil!”
But it’s too late.
I don’t even get the words out, because two hobs have lifted their hands at the same time, and a blinding white light explodes from their palms, hitting Lex square in the chest. She doesn’t even have time to scream as the force of their power lands on her, and then she’s pitching forward, right onto the shoulder of the redheaded hob.
“What the fuck did you just do?” Fear and fury battle inside my chest, and when I try and fail to hit the male, I let out a bellow of rage. “Lex!”
All her arrows have spilled out onto the floor, quiver hanging uselessly around her shoulder.
The second hob who hit her with his magic goes up to her, not even realizing that he has a furious ghost watching his every move. “She’s unconscious, Miur.”
“Good,” the female nods. “Take her now before she wakes. Fastest way—through the portal.”
Oh, fuck no.
The snarl that tears from my throat is full of rage. I tear at them, a whirlwind of fury, but no matter how many hits I try to land, no matter how many fists I throw, I can’t make contact. When flesh on flesh doesn’t work, I go for kitchen chairs, the pottery, even the damn tablecloth so I can try to strangle the male holding my cupid. But nothing works. I can’t fucking protect her.
I’m useless.
A useless fucking ghost who can’t even keep his female from getting taken against her will. All I can do is watch as they carry Lex like a bag of oats out the front door and into the night.
“Be quick about it!” Miur shouts from her doorway.
The black-bearded one hesitates, looking forlornly at the mess in her kitchen. “I could stay to help tidy up…”
She practically shoves him out. “Go!” she shouts before slamming the door shut so she can scuttle off to clean.
I am going to haunt her ass so hard for this.
I rush through the wall and follow after the males, temper riling up a storm in my chest. The fact that she’s slung over this male’s shoulder, arms hanging down, head bobbing against his back, with his arm nearly touching her ass, makes me want to rip through the Veil and tear him limb from limb.
I get right up beside the redhead, trying to knock him off his ass, but every effort is futile. I can’t fucking do anything. With a growl of frustration, I snarl in his face. “You move your arm up so much as an inch to touch her ass, and I will make it my afterlife’s mission to figure out how to kill you and then make you be a ghost, just so I can enjoy watching you evaporate into fucking nothing.”
The male looks around, frowning on the dark city street. “Anyone hear anything?”
True to hob fashion, the others are all walking behind him in a single file line. “No, everything’s all clear.”
“She’s still out, right?” he checks.
“Tiom, you and Irrit hit her with enough power to put someone out ’til spring cleaning day. Yes, she’s out. What’s the problem? Do you want me to carry her?” Hankil asks.
“I got her,” Tiom snarls, tightening his hold and making me want to strangle him. “I’m the strongest out of you lot, anyway.”
“No, you aren’t!” the one at the back of the line argues, though he still doesn’t step out of place, just sort of…leans sideways to shout ahead. “I’m the one the whole street calls when it’s laundry day and they need me to drag their washing tubs out.”
“That’s just because you’re fucking all of them, and they haven’t figured it out yet!” someone else says.
Ignoring them, I check on my unconscious cupid. “Lex.” Her eyes are shut, mouth hanging open slightly, and if she weren’t upside down, she’d look like she was sleeping peacefully. “Wake up, Pinky. I need you to wake up so you can go into the Veil and get away from these assholes.”
Of course, she doesn’t wake up. Because when has she ever listened to me? Whatever power the hobs hit her with better not have hurt her. If she’s hurt, I don’t care what the fates think, I will make them my unfinished business and haunt them for the rest of their useless lives.
With every step, I keep trying to wake her up, but she continues to hang over Tiom’s shoulder lifelessly. Then, we’re suddenly coming upon a storefront, and no one even bothers to knock as they all file inside. As soon as I step in, I see a big, whirling cascade of bluish air converged in the middle of an empty room.
“Saw you coming down the street,” a stout female says as she hops off a stool and straightens her brown cloak.
“Is the portal all set?” Tiom asks.
Portal?
“Yep,” the female replies, motioning toward it, the orange curls around her head bouncing. “Go on through. It’s ready now.”
If I had a heart, it would be slamming against my chest. “Wait a fucking minute! No one is going through any damn portal,” I growl, shoving my way toward it to block it.
Tiom turns around and says, “You go first, Irrit. The rest of you can go on home. We’ve got it.”
The other three males nod and take their leave, filing out of the door. My momentary distraction at watching them makes me get caught off guard when Irrit abruptly walks right through me and disappears into the portal. I stagger back, jerking into the portal too, but I go right through it, ending up on the other side, instead of into it like he did.
Definitely not fucking good.
“Lex!” I shout, watching with frenzied eyes as Tiom starts to walk forward with her. “You need to wake up right the fuck now!”
She doesn’t so much as twitch. This is happening way too fucking fast, and I watch, horrified, as Tiom takes his first step inside, the front of his shoe disappearing.
Time slows.
I have no idea where the fuck they’re going. I have no way to follow them. If Lex disappears into that portal without me, I won’t be able to make sure she’s okay.
As if it can sense my weakness, that horrible tug comes back tenfold in my gut, punching a groan from my lips and jerking me back. Pure resentment makes me fight against it, a ferocious hate making me gnash my teeth in defiance.
I won’t go.
My place is next to her, and I won’t be yanked back like a fish on a line.
It wasn’t the damn muck that let me stray from my deathplace, it was just her. Lex has been keeping me sane, keeping me feeling alive despite how fucking dead I am inside and out. Memories and past life be damned—all I want is to stay with her, and I won’t let a fucking portal take her from me. I won’t.
I watch in horror as Tiom’s body starts to disappear through the portal, as if he’s walking through a cascading waterfall and I can’t see behind it. The tug nips at me harder, like I’m in some sort of torture device meant to stretch me in two, but it’s nothing—fucking nothing—compared to watching Lex’s body disappear inch by inch.
“Lex!” A curse tears from my throat, and my body goes taut, strain pummeling me, but I manage to propel forward and launch myself at her as a last-ditch effort.
I reach for her like it’s a plea that’s torn right from my forgotten soul.
When my fingers start to pass uselessly through her hand, the tug starts pulling me the other way, and I know I’ve lost it. Call it a ghost’s intuition, but I knew from the first moment I saw her that I needed to stay with her at all costs.
“Lex!”
Tiom’s back disappears, and then all that’s left is Lex’s pink hair and hands hanging down, and I know that’s going to be swallowed up next, and she’ll be going where I can’t follow.
Fucking useless.
I close my eyes, unable to watch, but just as I start to give in to despair, I feel something. My hand—the one still reaching for hers—doesn’t pass through. Instead, I suddenly feel her warm, solid fingers curl around mine.
In the next instant, time seems to return to its normal pace. I don’t even get to open my eyes again before I’m yanked forward by Lex’s death grip on my hand, and she drags me into the portal after her.