SWNOVELS Sheer Cupidity: Chapter 20
LEX
We make it to one of the islands where the hearth hobs live. I can tell right away we’re at the right place, because the place is immaculate. Even the terrain looks tidy, like the green hills in the distance don’t dare to curve sloppily.
“Goodness, I think we could eat right off the street.”
Belren nods as we walk together up the pathway. Honestly, there isn’t a single speck of dirt on the entire thing. And I can see why, because about every twenty feet, a hob is sweeping the path or polishing the stones.
The buildings are a bit utilitarian looking, every single one matching perfectly, made with bricks painted in a gleaming cream color. Even the front gardens are identical. The hedges are snipped into the same boxy shape and height, with no twig or leaf out of place.
Nearly every fae in the city is definitely a hearth hob, like Chuckrey said. Most of them are on the shorter side, wearing the neat brown cloaks that gave them their brownie nickname, and every single one of them has tight ringlet hair. And I mean all hair—the hair on the top of their heads, their eyebrows, lashes, beards. The ones wearing short sleeves and exposed legs even show off ringlets on those parts. Hearth hobs of every age and hair color have that one physical attribute in common, plus they’re all about a head shorter than me. I realize that I’m going to stick out like a failing grade. I don’t have a single curly hair in sight, and my red wings are kind of a giveaway, but for the time being, I’m still in the Veil with Belren.
Another thing the hearth hobs have in common, of course, is how tidy they are. It seems like they have a penchant for wearing fabrics that really show off their lack of stains and wrinkles too. Their brown cloaks are shiny and silken, or stitched in beautiful, neat fur. They also walk neatly, practically in lines, sticking to only one side of the path depending on which direction they’re heading. It’s all very organized.
I love it.
“Where should we go?” I ask Belren, careful to stick to the middle of the path where we aren’t in danger of being walked through.
He scans our surroundings, head turning at a perpendicular split-off in the path. “I don’t know. Let’s try this way.”
I absentmindedly run a palm over my cupid mark as I walk beside him. I’m getting antsy, worried about why Emelle hasn’t tried to contact me yet. It’s been days, and not one peep. What if there’s no way to undo this? What if Belren is going to be stuck as a ghost forever? My heart hurts just thinking about it. I know that all entities, no matter what afterlife job they choose, don’t remember their previous lives. But ghosts are the only ones in danger of forgetting the here and now.
“What are you thinking so hard about over there?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Nothing,” I say quickly.
He scoffs. “Come now. It’s not polite to lie.”
That’s…that’s actually true.
“I was thinking about you, actually,” I say, doing my best not to sound embarrassed about that.
He shoots me a smirk. “Were they dirty thoughts?”
“No!” I look around, but then remember that no one can hear us. “It’s just, well, what the seer said, about your unfinished business. Do you think your unfinished business has to do with the princess?”
When it’s done, will you disappear entirely?
His expression turns contemplative. “I don’t know,” he admits before casting a look over my shoulder. “But don’t worry, I wouldn’t expect you to carry my muck with you for the rest of your afterlife.” He plays his words off like a joke, but I can tell there’s underlying worry in his tone.
It’s there on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I’ll carry his deathplace dirt forever, but something holds me back. Could I really watch him slowly fade?
“How are you feeling, by the way?” I ask, rerouting the conversation. “I haven’t checked in a couple days.”
“I’m fine, Pinky,” he says dismissively.
I know he gets sick of me asking him, so I let the subject drop.
We crest a small hill, and I see the cleanest, most orderly town square I’ve ever seen. One freckled and red-haired hearth hob seems to be selling some fruit, but instead of having them in barrels, they’re stacked in perfect pyramids. There’s one corner made up entirely of cleaning supplies, too. The square itself is gleaming with four polished pillars and a matching stone ground that people are cleaning or standing around in very patient lines as they do their shopping.
Just seeing how civil and composed everyone is makes me a little worried. “I might be wrong…but these fae don’t seem like the type to get tipsy and spill secrets about an ex-princess over their roast dinner.”
Belren frowns. “You’re right. They probably don’t even eat roast. Too messy.”
We stop in the center of the square, watching the fae as they go about their orderly business. Most of them are intent on their to-do, walking with purpose and getting right down to business about whatever they need to buy or sell. There’s not much small talk happening, and half of them are cleaning things.
There’s even a line of hobs waiting for the shallow water well like it’s a line to get free ice cream. They’re quite animated about washing things, only rude when it comes to getting their turn at the scrubbers and brooms. But I can see why. Each and every one of the hearth hobs practically sparkles with power as they clean. It must be because I’m in the Veil, but I can see a faint gleam to their silhouettes, as if energy is feeding into them.
“The hearth hobs really are powerful,” I note.
Belren hums thoughtfully. “See, now they have an excuse to make up the bed in a rented room.”
I groan. “Are you ever going to let that go?”
“I don’t anticipate it.”
With a shake of my head, I look around the square, but I’m feeling less and less hopeful that we’re going to glean any information from eavesdropping.
“These fae don’t seem to be into gossiping, but we could still try to find some sort of tavern,” I offer.
When Belren doesn’t reply, I look over only to find that he’s distracted, gaze set off unseeingly as he runs a hand over his translucent chest.
“Is something wrong?” He jerks at my question, as if I’ve startled him from his thoughts.
“What?” he asks absently.
Uneasiness starts to trickle in as I note the tension in his shoulders. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he says slowly before clearing his throat, erasing whatever he was thinking of as he re-instills his easy-going demeanor. “Alright, let’s find someplace to spy on these tidy fae, shall we?” Belren leads the way, walking off before I can question him more.
Troubled, I follow after him, but it’s clear he doesn’t want to say more, and I don’t want to push him. We scope out a couple of taverns, but they’re nothing like the others we’ve visited. What they lack in the scent of food and stained tables, they make up for in their gleaming silverware and fancy presentation.
For the next several hours, we wander around, trying to pick up any kind of chatter, but not a single fae talks about anything personal. In fact, the most interesting conversation we witness is a very heated argument between two hobs about which soap is better to use on windows. There was a lot of talk about streaks. I’m surprised they didn’t come to blows.
“Well, this is going to be more difficult than I thought,” Belren says when we’re back outside. It’s late now, but there’s a perfect row of lanterns lit up along the path to light our way as we head back toward the square.
I nod in agreement. “We might be here for a while before we can find anything out.” We’ve been moving from island to island so much lately, it will be kind of nice to stick around. “I don’t know that the seer was right when he sent us here, but it’s the only lead we’ve got. The information isn’t going to fall in our laps. We’re going to have to be patient, I think.”
Belren looks around thoughtfully. “Agreed. Let’s go exploring.”
I arch a brow. “Exploring?”
“We can’t expect them to just blurt out that they’re harboring the traitor princess the first day we’re here,” Belren tells me with a shrug. “Like you said, we’re going to have to be patient. So let’s go explore for a bit. It’s getting late anyway. All the hearth hobs are going to be tucked tidily into their beds soon.”
After I nod, Belren and I do exactly that—explore.
We’re able to see a lot of the city, and we get rewarded when we find a really nice garden just behind the main square that has the most impeccable rows of flowers that I’ve ever seen.
I pop out of the Veil so I can lean over and rub one of them between my fingers. “How do you think they get the leaves so shiny?” I ask curiously. They practically show our reflections.
Belren watches as I caress another leaf. “They probably spit-shine them.”
I snap my hand back with a cringe. “Yuck.”
He laughs, the throaty sound making me want to shiver. I turn to look at him, but something past him makes my eyes go wide, and I immediately go back into the Veil.
When he sees me reaching back and grabbing my bow and arrow, his brows lift up. “It was a joke. You don’t need to shoot me.”
“Shh,” I say impatiently before I shoo him. “Move, please.”
Looking bewildered, he steps out of the way, letting me breeze past him, though he quickly follows at my side. “Um, what are you doing?”
Instead of answering, I hurry toward the hedge maze up ahead and take the immediate left once inside it. Wisps of energy have been left behind like a glittery trail that lights my way. I follow it, taking each turn until I come to an abrupt stop where I find the two fae I’d spotted sneaking in here.
Belren snorts beside me. “I should’ve known.”
A smile curls my lips as I look at the couple. It’s two male hearth hobs, one of whom is sitting at the base of a small hedge tree, while the other is meticulously snipping a few of the leaves that have grown a centimeter too high. When the cutter finds a flower in it, he passes it to the other hob, making him blush.
My cupid heart swells at the shy flirtatiousness I can feel coming from both of them.
“What’s it gonna be this time?” Belren asks. “Flirt Touches? Lust Breath?”
But I shake my head, my smile spreading. “Nope. They’re ready for the next stage.”
I lift the bow and arrow in my hand, relishing in the feel of the wood and string beneath my fingers. I nock the arrow and pull back my hand, my grip firm but not tense.
In a blink, I release the Love Arrow and it hits its mark, bursting into a cloud of hazy red, right at the heart of the fae clutching his scissors. I already have the next arrow flying before the haze disappears, and then it’s joined with a burst of pink at the second fae.
“Right to the heart, both times,” Belren comments. “Impressive.”
I slip my bow behind me with a proud nod. “Thank you.”
The two males are giving each other such lovey-dovey eyes that I don’t even need my cupid power to see the love take effect. They’re on each other in a second, scissors and flowers forgotten, and I turn back to Belren in victory. “My job here is done.”
He’s still watching the fae, head tilting. “You know, hobs might love cleanliness, but I think things are about to get very dirty.”
“Yeah…we should probably give them their privacy.”
Together, we walk back out of the maze, while I crackle with the offshoots of their newfound love.
Belren and I wander to a different part of the garden, where trimmed trees are lined along a winding path. My entire body is practically buzzing, and I can’t help the smile that seems to be stuck on my face.
“You really get a kick out of your job, don’t you?” he asks, side-eyeing me.
“Yes!” I say giddily, popping back into my corporeal body. I even skip a little down the path, that’s how happy I am. The rush of it feels good, like it used to be when I first became a cupid.
“What would’ve happened to them if there hadn’t been a cupid around?”
“Well, cupids can’t force anything,” I explain. “There are all sorts of rules, and our magic only works in specific situations. You have to look at cupids as…love encouragers.”
Belren smirks. “Love encouragers?”
“Yes. It’s like feeding wood into a fire. The sparks were already there, and we just coax it to life.” I hook my thumb over my shoulder. “Those two would’ve gotten to that next stage with or without me. I just encouraged them along. Fed the fire.”
“You’re quite the love pyro.”
I beam.
“Doesn’t it ever get old?” he asks curiously. “You’ve been a cupid for a long time. I’d think you’d be a little sick of it by now.”
“Of course not,” I reply. Though, I can’t tell him the whole truth—that I’d lost my love for it when he died and went missing. With him here, I have my old drive for it again, and it feels amazing. Like I’m myself again.
“But you’re just doing the same thing over and over, for all these people who will never even know to thank you for it.”
“I don’t need any thanks, and it’s not about me. Love is a gift that everyone deserves. It’s the most important thing in existence. It brings joy and fulfillment, devotion and loyalty. For a cupid, it’s the ultimate prize to see a true Love Match come to fruition. It’s all I want for people—for them to love deeply and to be loved with the same fervor in return. It’s…magic.”
He stops walking suddenly, and we turn toward each other. For a moment, he just sweeps his silvery gaze over my face, and a loaded hush falls between us. “And what about you?” he asks quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“You give love to people, but what about you? Don’t you want love?”
It feels like my heart goes tight. I look down at my feet, try to tamp down the rush of emotion that swells up. “It’s a cupid’s duty to spread love, not take it for her own.”
I’ve said that so many times before. Believed it, too. For a long time, that’s all there was—giving. I never dreamed that I could ever have it for myself, it just wasn’t an option before.
“But your boss has love,” he points out.
“Well, yes, but she’s the exception.”
Belren doesn’t back down. “You’re telling me that in all the time you’ve been a cupid, handing out love left and right, that you’ve never once wanted that for yourself?”
Defensiveness squirms down my back. “I’ve been entirely too focused and too goal-oriented to worry about something like that.”
He levels me with a look. “I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t need you to believe me,” I snap. “Can we change the subject? You’re ruining my love-high.” I turn around to keep walking, but Belren blocks me.
“Why don’t you want to talk about this?”
I huff, crossing my arms in front of me. “Because. That’s not the purpose of a cupid. I’m not supposed to be selfish like that. I chose this path, and it’s my honor to give love to those I can. End of story.”
Sliding left, I try to sidestep him, but Belren just matches my move to continue to block me. “Sure, it’s an honor,” he says with a shrug. “I’m not dismissing your work or downplaying the importance of it. I’m simply asking for you to think about yourself for a second.”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Why not?” he counters, taking a step closer to me.
I back up, but he just takes another step. My chest feels tight, palms wringing in front of me as my emotions start to rise up. “Because.”
“That’s not an answer, Pinky.”
“What do you care?”
Belren lifts his arm like he’s trying to run a hand through his hair, only for his palm to go through it without any traction. He growls out a curse under his breath, arm dropping to his side again. “You’re the cupid,” he counters. “Why do you think I care?”
I blink at him, not understanding why he’s so frustrated all of a sudden. “I don’t know.”
He shakes his head like he’s disappointed in me. My lips purse.
“It’s an easy question, Lex. You’re a cupid who loves giving love. Are you going to stand there and try to act like it’s never even crossed your mind?” he challenges. “Do you or do you not want love for yourself?”
A roaring fills my ears as I stare at him.
I can’t reply. I’m too shell-shocked by the blunt question. Denial and arguments reel through my head, but it’s like Belren can read my mind, because he swarms my space, invading it completely so that I don’t voice a single one. He doesn’t give me time to even turn away.
I thought he was close before, but now he’s right in front of me, silver eyes blazing. “I’m drawn to you, dammit. And it’s more than just because you can see me or because you came to my deathplace. It’s not one-sided either. I know you’re drawn to me too.” His gaze sears into mine. “You’re someone to me, aren’t you?”
I go completely still, and all I can do is gape at him.
“Aren’t you?” he demands.
“No,” I blurt out, but even I can hear the lie.
“Who are you to me?”
How did this get so out of hand so fast? “N-no one.”
Belren’s glare is sharp enough that I feel the stab of it through my chest. “Liar.” As mad as he is, he somehow purrs that word like a seductive accusation. I watch with wide, unblinking eyes as he raises a hand and whispers. “Such a gorgeous, infuriating liar.”
And then, his knuckles skim against my cheek, and I feel it.
My breath sucks in, shock spinning down my tight throat. Belren freezes too, but just for a moment. Before I can even blink, his hand has turned to grip my jaw, and then his lips are slamming down against mine.
And here. Right here.
This is where I realize I really am a liar. But I wasn’t lying to him. No, I was lying to myself.
Because I have always wanted love, though I’d never admit it. I’d never even let myself think about it, because it was an impossibility before.
After all, those who can’t learn, teach. And those who can’t love, cupid.
But it seems I went and broke the cupid’s cardinal rule.
I got greedy and started to fall in love.