SWNOVELS Sheer Cupidity: Chapter 13
LEX
My mouth is open in shock. “I’m…not. The Veil. How am I… How are you…”
Belren frowns at my incoherent stuttering. “Do you need your seven-foot think-radius again? Is that why you’re unable to speak a single thought?”
My heart pounds in my chest as I gape at him. “How the heck is this happening?” I demand, but someone nearly barrels right through Belren just then, reminding me that we’re standing in the middle of a busy street in broad daylight. “Come on.”
He follows me down the side of the nearest building and all the way around to the back. I look to make sure no one is around, but nothing is behind the buildings except for some stacked crates and the border of the jungle.
Turning to him, I ask, “What’s going on?” Confusion billows up around me like a sheet shaken in the wind.
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
“Well, I certainly don’t know,” I counter.
Thoughtful silence drops between us.
This doesn’t make any sense. I shouldn’t be able to see him unless I’m in my incorporeal state, inside the in-between of the Veil with him. I rack my mind, trying to think of when this could have happened. But the truth is, I don’t know. When he disappeared in front of me back on his island, it could have happened then. But why? And why am I the only one who can see him? No one else was gaping at the ghost on the road—just the scantily dressed cupid.
My hands twist in front of me as I study him. “Do you feel any differently?”
He looks down at his form. “Nope. Still dead.”
An undignified snort escapes me before I can stop it. “Alright…so. I can see you. Even when I’m not in the Veil with you.”
“Like I said, you’re full of surprises.”
“Me?” I counter. “This could be a you thing. What if something happened with me carrying around your…”
“My muck in your quiver. Go on. Say it,” he challenges with a smirk.
A blush creeps up my neck, but I try to cover it up by straightening the panels of my dress. “Do you suppose it’s because of that?”
Belren shrugs. “No idea. But obviously you’re the only one who can see me, considering that a fire sprite just tried to walk straight through me,” he points out.
I nibble on my bottom lip and nervously move the pouch along my belt. His eyes drop down to the sound of jingling coins. “Cupidity pay well?”
“What?” I distractedly glance down at the pouch. “Oh, no. We get paid in the reward of being the one who brought about love and happiness.”
He doesn’t look impressed. “So how do you have money?”
I glance away, fingers picking at my dress. “I found these coins.”
His white brow arches up. “You found them?”
“Well, if I happened to see some money fall or get lost, say while I was on duty, I’d simply make a note of it. And then when the room was cleared, I’d leave the Veil and pick it up for safekeeping.”
A grin starts to spread over his face.
“It wasn’t stealing!” I quickly put in, because I know that’s what he’s thinking, I just know it.
“Sure, Pinky.”
Trying to pretend like I’m not blushing from both embarrassment and guilt, I say, “Okay, back to the real issue at hand—”
“Your predisposition for thievery?”
My eyes narrow. “The fact that I can see you.”
“Oh. That.”
“Unfortunately, I have no idea why. I’ve never read about this happening before during any of my research.”
He starts peering into the different crates stacked around us. “And you researched a lot about ghost and cupid interactions?”
“Well, just a bit of leisurely reading back at Cupidity headquarters. It’s always good to better understand the entities that share the Veil with us,” I inform him. “Though the entries about ghosts were rather sparse and usually all said the same thing.”
“That we’re a mumbling, senseless lot?” he guesses before leaping up and sitting on one of the crates, though his legs do sink into it a bit. He still looks very smug that he’s able to do it.
“Well…yes,” I admit.
He shrugs. “Guess there are no answers then. Oh well.”
I blink at him incredulously. “Oh well?”
“There’s not always going to be an answer for everything, Pinky. We can just go with the flow.”
Go with the flow? I laugh, because that’s absurd. I’ve never gone with the flow in my entire afterlife, not even when I got stuck in a river’s current once.
“No, no. Definitely not,” I say adamantly. “I’ll have to research it, or…” I trail off, because I can’t go back to Cupidville and leave him behind.
What I need to do becomes abundantly clear. I should’ve done it as soon as we landed here. “I have someone who can help.”
That puts a curious spark in his eye. “You do?”
“Yes. I’m going to call my boss.”
“Cupids have bosses?”
What, does he think we’re all out here in a love free-for-all? That would be chaos.
“Of course. Cupidity is a thriving enterprise.”
“Well, aren’t you productive.”
I used to have the highest productivity in all of cupidity, but I keep that to myself.
Lifting my hand, I pass my fingers over the cupid markings on my arm, feeling a tingle disperse over my skin.
The number on my skin flares red for a moment as I murmur her name. When the red light goes out, I tug down my sleeve and let out a breath.
He watches it with fascination before asking, “Now what?”
I jump up onto a crate across from him. “Now we wait.”
It’s full dark, hours and hours since I called to Emelle, and still no sign of her.
I’m hoping she’ll know why I can suddenly see Belren even when I’m corporeal, but mostly, I’m hoping she can figure out a way to fix him.
Being a ghost is basically like being a dwindling hourglass. I fear that he’s going to lose more of himself with every minute that passes. If there’s a chance that we can fix him, then it’s worth a shot. We need to do something before his memory completely fades and he doesn’t even remember how to talk. I wouldn’t be able to bear that.
Still, we’ve been waiting so long that I worry the cupid mark didn’t work. What if she didn’t sense the call?
When she used to summon me, I could simply close my eyes and let my cupid mark pop me right over to her. However, Emelle can’t go into the Veil because of her mate; I know she has to fly here or take a portal. That must be why it’s taking her so long. Hopefully.
Whatever celebration the fae were having earlier is still in full swing now and probably even more rambunctious under the cover of night. That also might have something to do with the fact that I blew a near constant stream of Lust Breath as we passed by earlier. Fire sprites did not disappoint on the heat factor.
The sounds of the crowd are a constant hum of background noise, and I’m itching to pass out a little bit of Lust Breath, but I don’t want to risk missing her, so I stay put. Belren and I travelled far enough away to be apart from the festival while still being able to hear it.
Together, we sit beside a small lava pond where no one else is, watching as it pops and gurgles. Just past it, the jungle looms, strange bugs thrumming out with a noise that reminds me of crickets, while other nighttime creatures caw and clack inside the thick branches. Yet despite all of that, plus the bubbling magma and the celebratory fire sprites, it’s somehow…peaceful here.
“I have to say, I really do like the new outfit choice,” Belren says, head turned toward me as he looks me up and down.
I sit up a bit and glance down at the dress, still feeling a bit self-conscious. I make sure all the panels are covering my legs where they’re tucked underneath me. “You don’t think it’s too…”
“No,” Belren cuts in before I can finish, his eyes glinting with something I’m not brave enough to name. “It looks good on you, Pinky,” he says softly, the pond illuminating his essence with an ethereal glow.
My cupid senses tingle, and I practically jolt when I realize it’s because I’m picking up on strong desire. Not from him—I can’t sense anything from ghosts—but from…me. That’s never happened before.
I turn away, pulling my hands into my lap as I twist them together, my nerves getting the better of me.
This is a risk. Getting close to him. Indulging. Because the fact of the matter is, there’s no guarantee that Belren’s ghostly status can be changed. There’s no guarantee that his memory can be fixed. He could fade away right in front of me and then never come back. There’s so much I don’t know when it comes to ghosts, and to be honest, I never thought he’d end up as one.
He was supposed to be processed. It’s why I spent a year looking for him in those endless lines. No wonder the demon and angel processors never remembered seeing a silver-skinned horned male. I wonder how long he’s been a ghost, stuck on that forgetful island. For the most part, he seems mostly with it, but what if he’s worse off than I realize?
The sensible thing to do would be to make sure I don’t get too close. I shouldn’t let my emotions get all muddied up in him. But without my consent, it seems my emotions went and started doing that anyway.
I’ll have to be careful. After all, he died to save me. I need to put him first. My emotions and wants don’t matter.
“Hmm. That’s a funny-looking bird.”
I follow Belren’s gaze to look up at the night sky.
“That’s not a bird.” I jump to my feet, Belren getting up beside me as we watch two dark forms flying down toward us, and relief floods my chest.
When they get closer, the glow from the pond lights up Emelle’s wings and hair, and Belren hums thoughtfully. “I take it that’s your boss?”
“Yes,” I reply, shooting him a glance from the corner of my eye to see if any form of recognition sparks, but there’s nothing in his expression except for curiosity.
“I see red wings and pink hair is a theme with you cupids.”
Now that Emelle is closer, I can see that Ronak is with her, their matching red wings cutting through the air. Emelle’s flying is a bit…choppy, whereas Ronak flies with a sort of feline grace, his tail helping to steady him.
“Hi!” Emelle calls down from the air, while I give a welcome wave in reply, watching them fly closer.
“Who’s the male?”
“It’s one of her mates,” I answer Belren quietly.
“One of?” he questions with a snort. “What a schmuck. If I were a mate, I wouldn’t share.”
“He’s not a schmuck,” I retort, feeling defensive on Emelle’s behalf. “He’s handsome and strong and a good mate to her. They all are.”
Belren turns his head toward me with a fierce scowl, and I blink at the intensity of his stare. “What?” I ask.
His jaw works, and then he shakes his head, lips pressing together. “Nothing.”
Shrugging it off, I take a breath. “Now, I’m going to talk to her, and obviously, they won’t be able to see you. But just…behave. Okay?”
A mischievous look comes over his face.
“No,” I say firmly from the corner of my mouth. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it.”
“You mean, don’t stand entirely too close to you while they can’t see me?”
“No.”
He eats up the space between us, and my breath hitches when he stops right at my back, so close that we’re nearly going through each other. “So this…this would be too close?” he asks huskily against my ear. For a moment, I swear I can feel his breath against my skin.
“Yes,” I answer, though my voice cracks.
“Hmm,” he murmurs, hands coming up to trace over the outline of my arms before settling on my hips as I stand frozen. My eyes lock onto the movement, and I have the strangest urge to arch my back, which is ridiculous, seeing as how that would only encourage him, and we wouldn’t be able to feel it anyway.
“And by behave, you mean you also wouldn’t want me to say dirty things into your ear while they can’t hear me and get you all flustered?”
Something warm pools right at my center. “No, no. Definitely don’t do that.”
“So I shouldn’t say…” He leans in even closer, transparent lips kissing against my ear and making that spot of my skin shoot chills down my neck and arms. “Thank you for stuffing my muck in your quiver.”
I whip around. “Oh my gods, stop.”
He laughs uproariously, his entire body shaking with mirth as I step away to glare at him.
“You’re terrible.”
“I’m fun,” he corrects, still smiling.
Rolling my eyes, I attempt to regain some semblance of composure, turning around just as Emelle and Ronak land a few feet away.
The moment her feet touch the ground, Emelle bends at the waist, hands propped on her knees as she gulps in huge breaths of air. “Freaking fornicators, that was a really long flight,” she pants.
“You’re a bit out of shape, mate,” Ronak tells her, not even appearing winded as he tucks in his red cupid wings against his back, brown trousers hugging his form, tail muscles bulging out of his shirt.
Emelle shoves her sweaty, tousled hair off her forehead and straightens up, yanking at her tangled pink skirts from between her legs. “And I clearly picked the wrong mate to come with me.”
“I’m the only one with wings besides the bull,” he points out.
“Yeah, well, Okot would’ve let me ride him,” she grumbles.
Ronak arches a brow and looks at her pointedly. “He did. Before we left.”
Emelle cocks her head. “That’s…that’s true.”
“Anyway, we obviously need to get back to doing our drills together. Your flying skills weren’t great,” Ronak says.
She turns and glares at him. “I’m top heavy,” she retorts, pressing on her chest and making Ronak’s gaze drop down. “My boobs throw me off-balance. Besides, you said you were gonna help me fly.”
“I did help.”
Her eyes narrow. “Saying keep up, little demon every time I started to lag behind is not helping, Ronak.”
His mouth twitches beneath his beard as he passes a hand over his wind-blown brown hair. “I disagree. Every time I said it, you flew faster.”
If her glare could produce daggers, he would’ve been stabbed right then. “That’s because I was trying to catch up so I could kick you in the happy sacks,” she snaps.
Beside me, Belren says, “I like her.”
Ronak grins at Emelle, as if he enjoys her violent confession. “You can try, little demon, but if you remember from our old training, you could never land a hit.”
Fast as a flash, she elbows him in the stomach, making his laugh splutter out into a surprised grunt.
“Oooh, look who landed a hit,” Emelle chirps, patting him on the shoulder as he sucks in a breath. “Guess you should practice your drills more, Ro-Ro. You need to work on your blocks.”
This time when he smiles, he looks a bit feral, like he wants to eat her up. Judging by the way her cheeks go pink, I’m sure she sees it too—and likes it.
After a moment, they break their heated eye contact, and Emelle clears her throat. “Anyway, you rang?” she asks, looking at me, then her eyes widen. “Wow. Lex. You look beautiful in that dress. It’s so…”
“Provocative? Tight? Obscene?”
“I was going to say flashy,” she finishes.
I tug at the panelled skirt. “Anyway, thank you for coming.” I pause, because even though I’ve been waiting for her to show up, now I have to figure out how I’m going to tell her. And…well. How do you tell your boss that you accidentally found the ghost of the male who died for you?
Maybe I should talk about the weather first?
“This is an interesting island, wouldn’t you say?”
Emelle looks around, gaze landing on the popping lava. “Yeah. Super…fiery.”
Ronak coughs. A long pause stretches between us.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Belren mutters from the side of his mouth.
“Shh, I’m thinking.”
Emelle’s brows lift in surprise. “Oh. Sure. Think all you like. Thinking’s important.”
“No, sorry, I wasn’t saying that to you,” I quickly tell her.
She and Ronak exchange a look. “Okay…”
Belren walks up to Ronak and looks him up and down. “He’s not that handsome, by the way. Passable, at best. It’s his muscles that are doing the work, really.”
I shoot him an incredulous look before I focus on Emelle again. “I’m sorry for bringing you here. If I could’ve come back to your island, I would’ve. I know you’re busy with your family.”
“Are you kidding?” she says. “With four kids at home, this is like getting a mini-vacation.”
“Plus, she obviously needed the flying practice,” Ronak interjects.
Emelle rolls her eyes at him, but his tail slips down and wraps around her ankle, making her smile.
“These two practically reek of sexual tension, eh?” Belren asks.
As a matter of fact, they do, but their lust is a very pleasant scent. Like strawberries.
“He could do with a beard trim if you ask me. And his hair looks like it hasn’t seen a comb in a decade,” Belren grumbles.
I contain my sigh.
“So,” Emelle begins. “I know whatever you called me here for must’ve been important. What’s wrong?”
I wring my hands together, fingers pinching, and Emelle frowns at the nervous gesture. “I’ve never seen you like this. You’re all…jittery.”
She’s right. I’m always put-together, especially in front of her. After all, I took my job as her assistant very seriously. Professionalism is my middle name. Or it could be Barbara. I feel like a Barbara. But right now, my nerves are getting the better of me.
Just as my pulse begins to race and I start to feel like a complete idiot, Belren steps up close to my side. I feel a shiver go down my back, and I whip my head to the left to see Belren’s phantom finger trail over my shoulder. My breath hitches, and all my worried thoughts instantly evaporate.
His finger trails from my shoulder and then all the way down my bare back. My entire body shivers in response, nearly feeling a kiss of cold air exhaled in the wake of his touch. I realize I’m staring at him when he winks at me, and then he leans in close to my ear. “Go on,” he purrs. “Tell her about…my muck.”
The spell is immediately broken, and I jerk my elbow back at him, though my arm goes uselessly through his torso. “Shut up,” I hiss, horrified that he just got me so flustered in front of my boss.
Belren chuckles and steps back, his touch falling away with the movement. I won’t give credence to the bereft reaction I have at the loss.
“Lex?” Emelle says, sounding wary. “Are you okay over there? I’m not gonna lie, things are getting weird.”
I shake my head to clear it and face her again, determined to get this out. “I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I’m just having a difficult time figuring out how to explain.”
“Oh, don’t worry. Ronak once invited his mother over for dinner and then forgot to tell me. Believe me, there’s no worse news than that.”
Ronak winces at the memory.
“Well…” I hesitate once more, half expecting Belren to try something again, but luckily he keeps his phantom hands to himself. “After I left your house, I didn’t actually start working. I went to the island where the battle happened.”
Surprise flashes over her face. “The battle?”
“Yes. I was hoping to find some closure,” I admit.
“Oh. Did you find it?”
“Not exactly.”
Part of my nervousness stems from the fact that I need to tell Emelle without triggering Belren. I choose my next words carefully. “I didn’t find closure because instead, I found a certain horned ghost.”