Shaun Phillips and The Hat of All Hats

“My project is on Ferdinand Magellan. He was born in Portugal and moved to Spain as an adult. He left on an expedition from Spain in 1519 with a fleet of five ships. He was on a ship called the Trinidad.” I pulled the ship I had built out of the box and put it up on a table for the class to see.

As I spoke, it began to get very windy outside and a strong breeze came through the classroom. I gripped my paper tight and almost lost my balance.

“He sailed down the Atlantic Ocean toward the bottom of South America. He took his ships through a narrow passage of water that is known today as ‘The Strait of Magellan’. They came out into the Pacific Ocean. Magellan and his crew were running very low on supplies so they docked the ship in the Philippines.”

I pointed to a map and was about to show everyone where the Philippines were when it blew right off the wall. In fact several pictures and maps were blown off the wall. Even some of the chairs and desks were moving around. It was getting harder for anyone to sit still.

“Hey what’s going on here?” Walter shouted as his desk slid over and slammed into a bookshelf.

Books, papers and backpacks were flying through the air and the whole building started to shake. My ship slid off the table, smashing into pieces on the floor.

In a matter of seconds a real ship, or more like a life-size version of the one I built, came crashing through the door. The room filled with water and what was once a 4th grade classroom now looked more like the wide open sea.

“Help!” Screams were coming from every direction.

We were all treading water and I knew my classmates were scared for their lives.

I had to do something about that. I saw a rope hanging from the side of the ship and quickly grabbed hold of it. I climbed up the side and shouted to my friends. “Everyone get on the ship!” Then I threw the rope back down and offered a hand to help everybody up.

By the time my whole class was on board the wind was whipping and the waves were getting stronger. The vessel rocked back and forth. We held on tight but a few of the kids were looking a little green.

“I’m going to be sick!” Andrea cried.

“I think I am too!” Walter mumbled. “Bleh!”

Mrs. Bodeen pulled a wet cell phone out of her pocket and tried to make a call for help. I doubted that she was going to get any service out there in the middle of the Ocean but she sure tried!

I wanted my class to have a good time but most of the kids seemed sick or scared. What could I do to change this? What would Magellan have said to his crew? Then I got an idea. I gave anyone a job to do.

“Josh, you and Thomas secure the sails. Mrs. Bodeen, grab the helm and try to keep us steady. Walter, you and Johnny search the ship for supplies. Food, tools, weapons; bring back anything you find. Everyone else, keep a lookout for land and enjoy the ride!”

And we were off! It seemed as though my presentation had turned into a field trip! 4th graders out on an adventure in the middle of the deep blue sea, what could be better!

“Shaun!” Tyler shouted. “I’m starting to see land but it doesn’t look like Birch Wood Elementary School. The people there don’t look like students. It looks like they have bows and arrows! What are we going to do?”

I wondered what the local people would do if we came ashore on their land. Would they be really friendly and show us around or yell and tell us to leave? Would they cook us dinner or would they try to eat us for dinner? I’ll admit I was a little scared but at the same time this was the greatest adventure I had ever been on. I wasn’t ready for it to end yet.

So I threw down the anchor, jumped off the ship and trudged through the shallow water. My classmates followed right behind me as we came to a beach and a rocky bank. It must have been part of the Philippines because it looked just like the pictures in one of the books I checked out of the library.

Far back on the land I could see a large group of strangers. One man stepped out in front of the group and walked toward us. I wondered if he was the leader. Dripping wet, I lifted my arm and offered a friendly handshake.

“Hello. My name is Shaun Phillips. I’m here on an expedition with the 4th grade class of Birch Wood Elementary School. We’ve come to explore your land.”

The leader put his hand out and shouted.

I had no idea what he was saying. He must have been speaking some other language and I didn’t’ think anyone in my class spoke that language. But I could tell that it did not sound friendly!

He turned around to his people and shouted again. Then he raised his bow and arrow above his head.

Suddenly all of the natives were shouting and charging toward us just like you’d see in the movies.

At that point Suzy ran and hid behind a big rock. Everyone else except me, Walter and Johnny, rushed back through the water toward the ship. Mrs. Bodeen followed right behind them and helped everyone back on board. Clearly not everybody in the class was up for an epic duel; but my best friends and I were!

“Bring it on!” Johnny wailed as he pulled a sword from inside his jacket.

“Where did you get that?” I asked him.

“I found it on the ship when you told me to look for supplies! I thought it might come in handy!”

He was right. It did! Johnny was able to knock a few of the locals down with his sword as they got close to him.

“This is great!” He hollered.

“Shaun there is a lot more of them than there are of us!” Walter shouted as he dodged an arrow headed toward him.

“We’ve got this!” I said, trying to encourage my friends though I’ll admit I wasn’t so sure about it.

The natives got closer and closer. We stepped backward and dodged the arrows they were shooting at us. After a while Johnny gave up trying to use the sword and we just ran across the beach to get away as fast as we could! Our hearts were pounding faster than ever. It was a combination of fear and excitement just like when we played video games, only this was real life!

Johnny fell down in the shallow water but got right back up and kept running. I slipped a few times too but I wasn’t about to give up.

I picked up one of the arrows that had landed near me and through it back, hitting one of the natives in the arm.

“Nice work!” Johnny yelled as he ran past me.

“Uh guys, I don’t know about this.” Walter screamed as he fell backward, just missing an arrow that was aimed at his head.

“Yeah I know what you mean Walter. These guys are a lot bigger stronger and faster than we are.” Johnny shouted. “I don’t know how much longer I can hang on either Shaun.”

“Hey you’re the one that begged me to bring the hat to school today. Besides, we face danger like this in our video games all the time!”

“Yeah but when things get this bad we just hit the reset button!”

He had a point.

“Okay guys.” I shouted to Walter and Johnny. “Maybe we can throw them off by changing directions. On the count of three let’s turn around and head back to ship before they shoot anymore arrows!”

But then I heard screaming.

“Shaun, help me!”

I looked around to see where the screaming was coming from. Oh no, it was Suzie! She was surrounded by a group of angry natives. This was bad. This was very very bad!

Well….. I had I’d always wanted to rescue a damsel in distress. I guess now was my chance!

I left my two best friends to outrun the natives and defend the 4th grade honor and I ran toward Suzie. I was stopped by the men who guarded her. They knocked me off my feet and pushed me down to the ground but I wasn’t about to give up without a fight.

Plotting my next move, I remembered back to the time with the dragon in the dining room. A distraction was just what I needed now. However, taking my pants off probably wasn’t the best idea.

Instead, I scooped up some sand and threw it in the men’s eyes. This gave me just enough time to get on my feet and reach Suzie before they caught up with me.

“Suzie, are you okay?” I called to her.

“I’m fine Shaun!” She insisted. “Let’s get back to the ship!”

“Good plan.” I told her. “I wish we could have talked with these people but they’re speaking some weird language.”

“They might be speaking Malay, Shaun.” She told me. “That’s the language that was spoken in the Philippine Islands during the time of Magellan. Didn’t you learn that when you were doing your research?”

“Are you kidding me Suzie? I’m trying to save your life here and you’re going to give me a history lesson?” Girls! I just didn’t get them sometimes!

“I’m sorry Shaun. Thank you for coming to my rescue but look out behind you!”

I turned around to see seven big men all armed and all looking pretty angry. The tallest one said something I didn’t understand. My guess it was probably Malay for “you’re in deep trouble, kid!”

“Shaun.” Suzie whispered to me. “What do we do now?”

There was only one thing we could do. I closed my eyes and tipped my hat. “For all that has come to be today in fancy, force, and grace, I tip my cap and send you back unto your rightful place!”

“Ptssssssssss………. Pop!”

We were all back in the classroom safe and sound. The desks, tables and chairs were all neatly in place.

I waited for someone to speak but all I heard was heavy breathing. There was a look of shock and disbelief on everyone’s face. After a few minutes I faced my class and spoke.

“This concludes my project on Ferdinand Magellan. I hope you all enjoyed it. Are there any questions?”

Complete silence.

“Anyone?” I asked.

“Shaun that was crazy! I can’t believe what just happened!” Johnny said. “I’m sorry I called you a chicken earlier. You took us on an excellent adventure!”

Everyone clapped and cheered and the chatter went on for days. Well not really. The chatter only lasted a few minutes but it felt like so much longer. You know what I mean.

“Shaun Phillips!” Mrs. Bodeen spoke, still breathing heavily. ”That was certainly a very unusual presentation. It was exciting. However, it really gave us all quite a scare!”

I hadn’t even gone back to my desk yet when there was a knock on the classroom door. Mr. Braxton was standing in the doorway with two officers.

“Phew!” He sighed. “They ARE here! What a relief. Mrs. Bodeen the school alarms went off a little while ago and all of the classes exited the building and met up at their assigned spots outside. I don’t know what happened but your class was not accounted for.”

“I truly apologize, Mr. Braxton.” She said. “I really don’t know how to explain where we were but perhaps Shaun could answer some of these questions for you.”

Had my teacher just thrown me under the bus?

“Boys and girls.” Mr. Braxton spoke calmly. “I have been given the okay by the fire department to bring everyone down to the gym. I would like you all to line up and follow these officers over there now please.”

Walter and Johnny rushed up to get in line and I jumped right in behind them.

“Hold on there, Shaun. I would like you to follow me back to my office instead. It appears as though I need to speak with you and Mrs. Bodeen.”

“Oh you are SO busted!” Johnny laughed.

I was starting to wonder why I was even friends with him.

So while the rest of my class headed to the gym, I walked down the hallway with Mr. Braxton and Mrs. Bodeen. There were several firemen going room to room and there were two police officers standing guard at the front door to the school.

We walked by the large front hall window and I caught a glance of a big crowd forming outside. Most people out there looked like parents but there was also a news crew with cameras and microphones set up on the front lawn.

Now the alarms were probably set off by the ship crashing through the wall. And of course whenever the alarms go off the police and the fire departments are called. I understood all that but something still confused me. What was the media doing at Birch Wood Elementary School?

“Mr. Braxton.” I tried to ask very nicely. “Why is there a television news team outside?”

“I am wondering the same thing.” He said in a very upset tone as we got to his office. “Mrs. Bodeen, could you please call Shaun’s parents?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thank you. And while she is doing that I’ll have you come into my office Shaun. You are going to tell me exactly what happened in class.”