Shattered Souls (Guardians of the Maiden Book 3)

The sound of distant screams woke Dyna from a deep sleep. She sat up and looked around in a sleepy daze, not sure if she was still dreaming. She touched her cheek, finding it wet. Had she been crying? Reaching out for Cassiel, her fingers landed on the cold, empty sheets. Where had he gone?

A knock came at the door before Noemi came in to help her dress for the day while Sowmya and Zekiel stood guard. They had brought a cart to her with a pot of tea, porridge, and some covered plate that must have some sort of pastry because the air smelled like lemons, but she wasn’t hungry. Her mind kept turning over Cassiel’s dreams.

“My husband?” Dyna asked them. She slipped on a robe over her nightgown and went to the armoire to search for clothes. It had been stuffed with dresses brought from Hermon.

“He went out at dawn,” Zekiel said. He must have also been up early on duty because he looked tired.

“The Captain is with him, Your Highness,” Sowmya added, giving him a dirty look. “Refer to my lady with due respect.”

He looked at her with sudden concern. “Oh, I do apologize if I offend.”

“No, of course not.” Dyna waved it away with an awkward laugh. “Please, you need not be so formal, Zekiel, nor either of you.” She smiled at Sowmya and Noemi. “I’m no one to bow to, truly.”

The females frowned at her, but her new guard smiled warmly.

“If it should please you,” he said.

Sowmya shot him another glare.

“Sit, sit,” Noemi ushered her to the vanity. “I will pick out something for you to wear.”

“Something warm please. I would like to go outside.”

“I will prepare the watch, my lady,” Sowmya said.

“Oh, um, must they come?” Dyna asked, twisting a red curl around her fingers.

“They are there to see to your safety.”

Zekiel hummed, shrugging. “It should be fine this once. I think she would like to have a moment alone with Prince Cassiel.”

“The Royal Guard must always accompany her,” the female warrior said stiffly. “It’s for her protection, a duty that is mine to see to.”

“Of course. I merely meant she must be feeling overwhelmed and crowded with a constant armed parade of warriors in her shadow. All of this is very new to her, but the town is well guarded. We can allow her some space.”

Dyna was warmed by his advocation and how easily he understood her, even though they had barely met.

“There is no need for both of us to crowd her,” Zekiel chuckled lightheartedly. “I will gladly escort her outside.”

“I won’t leave my lady’s side,” Sowmya said, nearly growling. “If you are so eager, go and have the watch take their posts in preparation for Her Highness’s arrival.”

Zekiel’s smile never dropped. “Right away.”

He stepped out, leaving behind an awkward silence.

Dyna looked at Sowmya through the reflection of the mirror. “You looked ready to cleave him in half.”

Sowmya’s dusky cheeks flushed. “Forgive me, my lady. I don’t like him.”

“Because he is male?”

“Because he is terribly rude,” Noemi interjected, bringing over a dress made of deep red velvet and trimmed with golden embroidery.

They must have two different opinions on what she considered rude. He had seemed polite to her.

“Not once did he refer to you with due reverence, Your Majesty.”

“I asked him not to, Noemi. I told you as well. It makes me uncomfortable to be regarded as royalty. I didn’t grow up in a castle, so all of this is a bit much.” She made to stand. “If I’m going to trudge through the snow, I should wear trousers.”

Noemi waved her back. “Oh no, no, no. You are a princess now, and soon you may be Queen. You must be fit for your station and referred to with respect. If not even the guards follow decorum, the court will look unfavorably upon you.”

They already looked down on her simply because she was human.

“It’s all right, really. I don’t care what they say about me.”

Noemi huffed. “You must care. Your first days at court will be a reflection of how your reign will be.”

Dyna had already come to terms with the fact that she wouldn’t truly be accepted.

“I made sure to bring dresses lined with wool to keep you warm. This one will compliment your complexion beautifully.”

It was a lovely dress, but not very practical. Dyna decided to wear an extra layer beneath. Noemi frowned at her armor but said nothing as she helped her slip the velvet frock over it. It was certainly warmer than her other ones, if not a little heavy from how thick it was. The soft sleeves sat low on her arms, highlighting the curve of her shoulders and chest. Noemi herded her to the vanity table and worked on brushing out her hair into soft waves.

“We cannot forget the most important touch,” Noemi said as she cheerfully opened a polished box to reveal her sapphire crown. The stones glittered beautifully in the sunlight, but Dyna wasn’t sure how she felt about wearing such prominent jewelry. But it was a gift from Cassiel and she wanted to please him.

Once Noemi placed it on her head, the crown felt cold and heavy. Whatever answer Cassiel gave would change their lives. She only hoped to be ready for it.

Dyna looked around the room and picked up her sheathed sword. Noemi frowned in disapproval but knew it was a useless argument. It would go with her everywhere. Since arriving in Skelling Rise, they had trained nearly every day with weapons and magic. The journey would only get harder from here, and she needed to be ready now more than ever.

Once she buckled on her sword, Dyna swished her skirts aside to strap her opal knife to her bare thigh and stepped into her boots. Noemi pulled out a long gray cloak with white fur lining and helped her slip it on. It hid her sword out of sight. Dyna left the stuffy room. Her guards followed behind her, their presence like a heavy blanket. Sowmya meant well, but having a flock of guards and holding a constant poise was exhausting.

Was this her life now?

As she came down the steps, she caught Klyde and Lucenna talking quietly in the foyer. Dyna paused, letting their voices float up to her.

“You have my word, I won’t do that again,” he said, searching her face, but she wouldn’t quite look at him. “Not until you ask me to.”

“I won’t.” Lucenna turned on her heel and headed for the kitchens. Dyna made note to ask her what happened the other night, because it seemed something did.

Klyde lingered in the hall as he watched her go, a strained look on his face. But then his eyes flickered up and Dyna was caught. She came down the rest of the steps.

He swept his arm across his chest, inclining his head. “My lady.”

“I thought the Skelling Mercenaries bowed to no one,” she said.

Klyde winked. “We make exceptions for our favorites.” He was in full gear with his Captain coat and weapons.

“Headed out?”

“Aye, I’m on my way to the wall. The High King paid us generously to keep an eye out for any potential threats.” Klyde shrugged. “No one will find us here, but if it makes him feel better, who am I to dispute it?”

“They found us.”

“Aye, but Lord Jophiel knew where to look. I doubt anyone else would trudge through this gods’ forsaken place. Perhaps I should hire Lucenna to ward the town.” He bowed again. “Well, I’m off, then.”

“Klyde…” Dyna called hesitantly.

He paused.

She searched his kind face for answers to her questions, and she found the truth had always been in front of her, but she had been too distracted to see it. Klyde canted his head questioningly.

“I have wondered,” she finally said. “Why did you decide to live here? Most of the year you’re either battling trolls or the winter.”

He smiled.

To anyone else it would look like all the other smiles Klyde gave, playful, carefree… sincere. But Dyna was watching him closely and because of it, she caught the flicker of an edge to his eyes. It was the wash of a storm wave. Violent and swift. It crashed on frozen shores before it was pulled out to the calm seas he hid beneath.

“The beasts we have learned to live with. And well, I’ve always despised the winter, but every season has its purpose,” Klyde said as he turned away. “In the ice we mold our truth, even whence hidden by the snow.”

Dyna watched him stride for the door with two voices echoing in her head. She left her thoughts there in the corridor to be picked up at a later time.

Right now, her mate needed her.

The bond led her to the courtyard where Cassiel was laying on a landscape of white, gazing up at the gray sky as the snowflakes fluttered down. He wore his enchanted navy coat that kept his wings out of sight. The snow half buried him there and she thought he might not move until it did completely. A beautiful sad picture of a prince not ready for the next chapter in his life.

Yelrakel stood by the entrance of the manor with her arms crossed behind her back, her attention never leaving Cassiel. Sowmya took her spot on the other side of the entrance. Zekiel and the other Valkyrie flew up to take posts on the roof and trees. It wasn’t privacy, but it allowed them some space.

Dyna brushed against the bond, and his silent warmth answered back. Taking that as permission to approach, she walked over and took off her crown before lying down in the snow with her feet pointed in the opposite direction of his, leaving their heads side by side. Her furred cloak protected her back from the chill.

It was peaceful, simply laying here and watching the snow fall.

If not a little sad.

“Living in Hilos, you cannot imagine what it’s like,” Cassiel said softly. “Its beauty is smothered with hatred. There is no light there. I don’t want that life for you.”

Dyna had been sheltered her whole life, from living in a small village, to being coddled by everyone who thought her too weak. She’d even been held back by herself. By her fear. Her fault. Her own insecurity of feeling like her abilities were never enough to protect the ones she loved. But these last few weeks, she left all of that behind. It was peeled off her by the world, by life, by training, and beatings. It hardened her and she was not afraid.

Not of what may come.

And certainly not of court.

At feeling all of this from her, Cassiel closed his eyes, snowflakes catching on his lashes. “Dyna, if anything happened to you, I think I would lose my mind…” Blue fire crackled on his skin as it always did, she realized, when his need to protect her was triggered. She felt its tremendous heat and the falling snow hissed as it melted on his face. “Perhaps it’s because you are the other half of me. This need to protect you intensified by the thousands the moment I made you completely mine. And the very thought of any threat against you, it ignites me with this indescribable craze.” Cassiel’s hands flattened on the ground, and his taut fingers dug in the snow, melting it. “I cannot lose you again. I won’t survive it.”

She curled her arm up around his head to cup his cheek. It was warm despite the weather. Heated by the divine flame alive within him. “You won’t lose me.”

His silver eyes opened to meet hers. “Tarn, Malakel, Leoake, the Realms…I am haunted by the paranoia that you are not safe. That if I leave you unprotected for one second, they will tear you away.”

Hearing that elicited the memory of Tarn’s wife, torn open and left dead on the floor. Her death had ruined him. And that could easily that repeating again.

“Cassiel, you cannot live your life afraid. Fear begets anger, and anger begets hate. I have seen what that does to a person. You cannot let it happen to you.” He fell silent, and she searched through the bond to understand what he wasn’t saying. “Am I truly the only reason why you don’t want the throne, or is it because your father requested it?”

His expression hardened.

“He’s trying, Cassiel.”

“Now. Ten years later when his time has run out and he wants to cross the Gates with a clean conscience.”

“He loves you. He may not have shown it well, but he is here now because he wants to be.”

“How can I attempt a relationship with him, when all I feel is anger when I look at him? He abandoned me. Whatever his reason, I don’t know if I can ever forgive him.” Cassiel laid an arm over his eyes. “Now he wants to be a father by revealing I owe him my life? How am I to feel knowing every breath I take was stolen from him? He came here to guilt me into taking his place to rule over a kingdom of bigots. Why? I care nothing for them.”

“I think that is what you tell yourself,” she said gently. “It’s easier to hold grudges than to acknowledge how we truly feel.”

His low exhale clouded in the air above him. “What does the bond tell you? I’m too blinded to see, so tell me.”

She turned her face towards him. “You are afraid.”

Cassiel sighed. “Yes.”

“Not because of what the Realms will think of you as their King, but that you will fail to meet their expectations. That you won’t be strong enough to protect your people. And…that you will repeat your father’s mistakes…with me.”

The bond jolted in her chest at his shock. At the realization of what was buried under all of his resentment. She saw his apprehension, felt it grow when he dreamt of his mother. The thought that he would only bring her suffering and end up losing her in the end either by his doing or by others terrified him.

Pain and apprehension swam in his gaze when he looked at her. “I could not live with myself if you bear the consequences.”

“You can’t protect me from everything, Cassiel.”

“I will. I have to. Without you by my side, everything else is meaningless.” He closed his eyes. “Why does it have to be me? Why when I know nothing about ruling.”

“The burden of kings is dire,” she said. “I cannot pretend to know the matters of court, but I know the weight of a crown is a heavy one. Yes, many will look upon you for leadership and question if you should have it. Regardless of what anyone would make you believe, being a half-human does not make you unworthy. For it makes you the bridge between Celestials and humanity, and for that very reason, throne couldn’t be in better hands but yours.”

Dyna saddened at the feeling that stirred in him to hear her say that. All of his life, they told him he was a mistake. A nothing.

“You are a Guardian,” she said firmly. “Not only for me but because that is who you are. There is no other clearer sign than your Seraph fire. That which only comes to those who answer the call to protect others at the expense of themselves. Because of it, the Realms will be safe in your hands. I believe this is your destiny. However, I’m not your mother.” She stroked his jaw, and his solemn gaze met hers. “And you are not Yoel. He may not have been a good father, but he was a good King. You have the potential to be a great one.”

He curled a lock of her hair in his fingers. His Hyalus ring glinted with the faint sunlight fighting to shine through the thick clouds. “Why do you think more highly of me than I do myself?”

Dyna smiled. “As I said before. I see you, Cassiel. I see you for who you are and not what you have lied to yourself about.”

He gazed at her as if she was his serenity. The sweep of his thumb left a heated trail behind as it grazed her cheek and hovered over her lips like the breath of a kiss. “I wonder when you gained the power to make everything inside of me either fall tranquil or surge into a frenzy.”

“I could ask you the same,” she said faintly, feeling her body warm beneath the path of his touch. If she could, she would melt into him forever.

“I searched the skies for the answer of what I must do, but I think I already know. I simply lack the bravery to do it.”

“I will support you whatever you decide.”

“If I do this…”

“I will come with you to Hilos,” Dyna said definitively. “Once our journey comes to an end, of course.” Because nothing would impede her journey to Mount Ida. Not when her family was at stake. And she wouldn’t let him give up on his mother either. “Wherever you go, I will follow. You made that promise, and it’s seared into my heart along with all the others. I know it won’t be easy and many will oppose us. But I don’t care what they say. Through the darkness and the flame, I’m with you, kohav.”

Cassiel gazed at her fondly, though his unease didn’t fully fade. The delay in his reply planted a little seed of worry in her heart.

“Promise me whatever comes, I will be by your side to face it with you,” she said. Keeping her safe was all that mattered to him, but she didn’t need a shield. All she needed was him.

Cassiel’s hand entwined with her hair and his fingertips brushed her neck, leaving little imprints of heat behind. “Whatever may come, I know one thing will always be true.” He inched closer, his silver eyes already on her mouth. “At haor sheli.”

His soft lips enveloped hers and fire wove through her being. The sheer affection behind the upside down kiss was a force like no other. One that left her dissolving beneath his touch like the snow, completely and irrevocably helpless at his hands.

And she was prepared to endure such a subduing sensation all of their days.