Shattered Souls (Guardians of the Maiden Book 3)

Cassiel’s wings brushed the floor as he paced restlessly in the rooms Klyde had prepared for the High King within a tower suite on the fourth floor. They were much more spacious and grander, offering a view of the sea in the distance. And it gave them the privacy needed to continue their conversation. He needed to know more about his abilities—and other things.

“I fail to see how any of this makes sense,” he said.

“What part?”

Cassiel glowered over his shoulder at Yoel where he stood by the windows, watching the flurries float by. As if revealing that he was a force of destruction wasn’t frightful news.

But…he looked thinner in his winter robes, paler. The sunlight streaming over him revealed the visible veins behind his skin and the spots on his hands. His white wings hung dull and limp.

“All of it,” Cassiel said, studying him. “Most of all, you. Are you going to explain your appearance? Don’t tell me this is natural when Lord Jophiel has hardly aged and he is only younger than you by five years.”

Yoel’s reflection in the glass was thoughtful. “We all grow old one day.”

“Not like this. Not so soon.”

Their kind used to live nearly as long as the elves, until the High King started aging rapidly. Now there was worry that Elyōn was slowly giving them mortal lifespans.

“It’s the price I chose to pay,” came his father’s idle reply. “Everyone must answer for their actions in time.”

Cassiel thought of the city his father helped burn to the ground out of rage and grief for the loss of his mother. It had been home to thousands of humans. Killing them had been a great transgression against their original purpose in the Mortal Realm.

“Are you saying this is your penance for Gamor? If so, why only you? Many took part in the slaughter. You are not the only one with human blood on your hands.”

“I am the King of my people, and one day you will find the crown’s weight is heavy.”

Cassiel halted in place as everything in him went cold. He read the sudden stiffness in his father’s shoulders. “Now I understand your true purpose here.”

Yoel sighed at his reflection in the glass. “Malakel challenged you for everything and those terms applied to him as well. You defeated him, and his inheritance lawfully became yours. That makes you the heir apparent, Cassiel.”

“This is why you have come? To force this upon me?” Cassiel’s mouth twisted with a sneer, even as his stomach pitched. “Gods. I admit, you nearly, very nearly, had me convinced. I should have known when you arrived only at a time that was most convenient for you.”

His father didn’t come when he was almost exiled, assassinated, or when he wedded the love of his life. He came only to force him to take the throne.

Yoel’s gaze cooled. “Aside from the weather, I could not come sooner. Duty bound me to make way for the Blue Capital first, and discuss with King Lenneus the events of the Port of Azure. He was furious, with due reason. As was I, seeing that questionable actions were made. But the rest does not bear repeating.”

Cassiel glanced at the brass goblet Yoel held. His glowing hand clutched it tightly, the heat of his power causing the cider to bubble and steam.

“Nevertheless, they broke the Accords.” He set the goblet down. “I made it very clear to him that should Azure desire retaliation, the Realms will respond. And by the end of the war, I will have wiped the port and every major city in his kingdom off the face of the earth. There will be no ruins like Gamor. Nothing but ash to fill the records of history. I may desire peace with humans, but I will never allow any harm against my people—least of all my son.”

Cassiel was struck silent by the quiet fury on his face. It confused him, this show of care.

After a breath, his father’s demeanor calmed. “Given what occurred, you had no choice. And there is not one now.”

He scowled. “I don’t want to be king.”

“It’s not a matter of what you want. As the crown prince, you are heir to the throne.” Yoel kneaded his temples. “I am trying to see to your future.”

At that, Cassiel lounged in one of the sofas, crossing an ankle over his knee. “As I see it, there is no future to foresee when I no longer have the prerogative to take your place. I’m not who I was when I left Hilos.” With a snap of his fingers, a curl of blue flame danced on his fingertip. “I have killed for her, and make no mistake, I would gladly do it again.”

He stared at him with bewilderment.

“Do you understand now? Scores of men have fallen at my hands. Any divinity I had is tainted.” Cassiel leaned forward, holding his stare. “Have I made you proud, father?”

Yoel canted his head, an edge sharpening his voice. “Well. Yes, I certainly see you are not the same, but you are still contemptuous and prone to forgetting yourself. It would be wise to mind your impertinent tongue.”

The cool warning was enough to make Cassiel straighten in his seat.

Yoel sat on the sofa across from him. “My decision stands.”

“Why? By my deeds alone I’m unworthy, nor should I be a wielder of Seraph fire. It came by some strange mistake that I assume Elyōn will correct in time. A half-breed murderer has no place taking the throne. Let Malakel wallow in Edym for the year, then he can be restored to his birthright.”

“The ascension can only be given by the High King or taken through challenge. And you have both. It was never about the state of your divinity. Your brother assumed the position as heir apparent because the last five rulers had all been the elder, but I had never declared it so. I chose you, and the moment you defeated your brother, the crown legitimately passed to you. This is acknowledged throughout Realms and by law. Not even Malakel can contest it.”

Cassiel frowned. “Then let him challenge me again and he can have it.”

“That is not where it will end. Right now, Malakel is in a deep sleep as his body slowly recovers from the wounds you dealt him. When he wakes, it will be with a vengeance to make you pay for his humiliation. If he takes the throne, he would not hesitate to shear you. Even if you run, his reach will extend to all four Realms and you will have no one to defend you from him.”

A shudder sank through Cassiel’s wings. Remember one day I will be High King, and my first command will be to exile you.

“Do not give him that power,” Yoel said. “Take your rightful place in Hilos—with Dyna at your side.”

“What?” He blinked, leaving the fog of his thoughts.

“As True Bonded and consummated, no one can dispute your union.”

Cassiel was struck by the uncomfortable comment of his marriage bed, then it was the question of how Yoel would know. It must have happened when he took Dyna’s hand. He had Soul Searched.

“When you commanded me to be Lord of Hermon Ridge I assumed this plan to make me High King was forgotten.” Even as the words left his mouth, he saw the truth on his father’s face. “But none of this was a coincidence, was it? That is why you so readily agreed to let me leave Hilos. You planned this.”

King Yoel held his stare. “What did you feel when you first saw Dyna?”

Mine. The single word thrummed in his mind.

The moment he saw her in the forest, begging for help, it surfaced a need to keep her safe. To keep her close and put himself between her and danger. He’d been drawn to her since that day and he remembered how confused he was by his strange protectiveness of the odd human when he had no reason to be.

“I knew it from the first that she was meant for you. Of course, I did not imagine you would bond in such a way, but it may have simply been instinct. You knew what to do even if you didn’t understand.”

It was the reason Cassiel granted her immunity and felt compelled to keep her safe. Because his soul recognized her before he did.

“But you knew who Dyna was before she trespassed into those woods, didn’t you?” Cassiel searched his eyes. “Because we had met already. You…you erased my memory of her nine years ago. You could have erased our meeting again, but you welcomed her into the castle, and told her of our history. Then in the study, you didn’t need to bring out those books after hiding them for long. You wanted me to go with her.”

With a heavy sigh, Yoel came to sit next to him. “I hid those books because you were following your mother’s path. You were becoming obsessed with Mount Ida as she had. Hiding the books was my way of stopping that, but when Dyna arrived, something sparked in you. You were not happy. I thought if you were with her, you finally would be.”

Cassiel narrowed his eyes. “Then what about the engagement to Sarrai?”

“If you had yet to discover who Dyna was to you, I thought the engagement might awaken the instinct to choose your mate. But you already had. You love each other. It burns strong through you both. I could not hope for more. It assures me you will not be alone in Hilos.”

But all Cassiel heard was that he’d been manipulated. “If you think I will subject Dyna to the same cruelty mother bore, you are sorely mistaken.”

His father’s brow pinched. “You have my word. It will be different this time.”

What an irresponsible thing to say. There was no way he could guarantee that when their abhorrence was a palpable thing Cassiel sustained since his infancy. “You cannot keep that promise.”

“It will be different because Dyna will not be a consort but your High Queen.”

High Queen.

The title struck his chest like a cord, and all he felt was fear.

It would never work. They would never accept her. The thought of her crushed under the hatred of his people would be another spear in his chest. He didn’t want that life for her. And it would be a terribly short one. If they would attempt to remove her for simply being his mate, they would most certainly come for her if she ruled over them.

“As for Mount Ida—”

“I’m going to that island, no matter what you say. You may have given up, but I will find my mother even if only to prove she is dead.”

Yoel flinched as if Cassiel had struck him.

Perhaps he was wasting his time going to that place to search for someone who left him behind. Perhaps he was grasping in desperation of the hope that she was out there because he didn’t want to consider the possibility that she never wanted him either.

“I will not stop you from going. It will be good, I think, to find answers and to have time to adapt to the idea of your new life.” Yoel’s gaze rose to his as he stood. “I shall speak my command clearly from the onset. When this journey is over, you will both return to Hilos to be properly crowned as the new reigning power. You will be High King of Hilos and the Four Realms, and Dynalya will rule by your side.”

Cassiel stood, making his response also very clear. “No.”

His father’s expression hardened and his wings loomed behind him. “You have forgotten your place. I am your King first before your father, and you shall obey.”

The pressure of power lined the order but Cassiel didn’t bend into submission. “I am your subject, sire, but Dyna is my wife.” His eyes must be glowing again by Yoel’s wary expression. “I would march through the Seven Gates and grovel to the gods before I ever allow her to suffer their hatred.”

Pure shock crossed Yoel’s face, his mouth parting. “By all that is sacred, Cassiel. You know not what you say.”

“I’m doing what you should have done for my mother,” he growled. “My mate is my only priority. She is the keeper of my loyalties. I care nothing for no one else.”

Yoel’s expression softened and he sighed, laying a hand on Cassiel’s shoulder. “I have followed your exploits and those of Dynalya. She has proven she can withstand adversity. I believe she will withstand the politics of palace life.”

Cassiel moved back. “Can we not do this? Where you pretend to care?”

“I do. Why be here if not for you?”

He scoffed at the pretty painted lie.

“Is it so hard to believe I want to be a part of your life?”

A bitterness churned in Cassiel’s stomach with the wretched poison he carried all his life. “If that were true, then you would have been part of it when it mattered,” he said tightly. “But it was made clear to me a long time ago that I’m nothing more than a bastard. A walking reminder of your shame.” His voice grew harsher and strained behind his clenched teeth. “Not once was I part of the family, and nothing proved it to me more than when you sent me to Hermon. I made my way without you and I don’t need you now, so don’t presume to find any kinship between us.”

The hurt that crossed Yoel’s face was almost believable. “You are angry. I understand that, but I have always cared for you.”

Cassiel took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly to help control his temper. “I have reached a point in my life where I no longer believe you.”

Yoel briefly closed his eyes. “How did we get this way?”

“Do you truly wish me to answer?”

“In time, you will understand why I had to make these difficult choices. Regardless, I saw to your well-being. I made sure you had everything.”

Cassiel’s hands curled into fists at the utter ugliness brewing in him from that statement. “Yes, you are right. I did not want for anything but the warmth of your affection or acknowledgement. What explanation do you have that?”

Yoel’s wings dropped like wilted leaves as if the question broke him. “When standing so close to a picture, it’s difficult to see its entirety.”

For some reason, that answer made Cassiel’s nose burn and the back of his eyes sting. It drew out an old memory of him sitting at the large dining room of Hilos as a child, on the day of the Winter Solstice. “I waited for you,” he muttered. “I still believed then, that you had not forgotten me. That even if you ignored me for the rest of the year, that one day, you would be there. So I waited. Even when the candles were put out, and the dining room grew empty and cold, I waited.” His throat constricted as he saw the memory so clearly because that’s when everything finally made sense. “I sat there, staring at the doors for hours, counting down the seconds you would walk through them. You never did. I failed to understand what your absence meant until that day. Then I saw the picture for what it was. You did not want to remember my existence, and I questioned…I questioned why…”

Why had he been born when he was unwanted? He felt like that child again. Lost and purposeless. It made him feel sorry for breathing, because what had been the point to all of it?

“Son—”

“Don’t call me that,” Cassiel snapped. “Not once have you treated me as a son. I have only ever had one father—and it was not you.”

It was his uncle who raised him, who gave him a place to belong. Going to live in Hermon is what saved his life.

Yoel’s eyes saddened and they lowered. The act only infuriated him more. “I’m—”

“Don’t you dare say you are sorry.” He was so sick of those words. They meant nothing now.

“I know I failed to care for you in the right way, Cassiel, but that does not mean that I do not love you.”

Dry laughter and something thick built in his throat, lodging there like bile. “You have no place to say those words to me.”

Cassiel headed for the door with the urge to simply throw the man he once called father to the wind, but he spun around. “You know, for the longest time I believed that feeling to be a fantasy. Something poets speak about but never see. I doubted it was ever real until I found it with my true family.” He swallowed back the emotion lacing each word. “And I was made better because of it. Being with them, I learned one thing for certain. You don’t abandon the people you love.”

They stared at each other in the strained silence.

When Yoel finally spoke, his voice was faint. “Trust me when I say you were placed with your uncle to keep you safe.”

“Safe from what!” Cassiel demanded, throwing out his arms. “I’m beyond the lies now. We both know I was tossed in Hermon Ridge because I’m the weight of your greatest disgrace. And thus, it stands, you have forsaken all rights to be a part of my life. It’s far too late for that.” The accusations kept pouring out, painful and jagged like shards of glass in his throat. “Where were you when I bore my wings? Where were you when I withstood their cruelty? When I was left alone to fend for myself? You left me when I needed you. You—” Cassiel’s voice broke. “You left.” He clenched his fists, forcing himself to breathe. He tried and failed to keep his voice steady. “You don’t know what I like and what I hate. What I feared and what I endured. You know nothing about me!”

The shout tore out the deepest pit inside of him. It seemed to reverberate through them both, filling the air with the blemish of his despair.

Dyna’s sadness swept through the bond. He had forgotten to maintain his shield and everything he felt had reached her. Cassiel blocked her concern and after another breath, he wiped every emotion and the wetness off his face.

This life had turned him into stone and that’s what he would be.

“The version of me that begged for your acknowledgement is gone,” Cassiel said stoically. “You are only a memory I wish to forget. I don’t give a damn about you, and I don’t give a damn about the Realms. I will not be king.”

He strode for the door.

“I am not finished speaking, Cassiel. Don’t walk away from me.”

“You have long taught me how.”

“Stop,” Yoel’s command rang clear, halting him in place.

He saw the door handle but his hand wouldn’t take it. He couldn’t move. “What is this? What have you done?”

“Come here.”

His body rotated of its own accord. Cassiel fought against it, but however much he resisted, his legs forced him to walk back and stand in front of his father. “You used your compulsion on me,” he growled. “As you did earlier in the grand hall.”

“We are not finished,” Yoel said, his expression hardening. “You also do not know what I endured. None of it compared to seeing the hate in your eyes and carrying the brunt of your resentment. For years, I let you walk away from me, but I cannot anymore.”

He went to where his luggage had been placed and lifted his sheathed sword, drawing it free. Blue fire swiveled around the blade.

Cassiel inhaled sharply at the sight of it, because only blessed Celestials were supposed to receive it.

“Seraph fire is not a blessing made for those of pure souls without sin,” his father said. “It’s the badge of a Celestial who has fulfilled their original purpose and that is to protect. To lay down their lives without reservations. You did that when you fought for your mate in Willow’s Grove—and in North Star.”

His heart was pounding against his ribs and his mind was whirling. He could hardly breathe. Something was coming and he wasn’t ready.

“It’s time, Cassiel.”

“For what?”

The High King raised his hand and it began to glow white. “The truth.”