Shattered Hearts A MFM Love Story

~ ~ Maddy ~ ~

Swiping my hand across my damp cheek, hands still shaking, I tried to focus on the road whilst blinking back more tears.

My phone buzzed on the seat next to me but I couldn’t answer it. I was in no fit state to talk to anyone.

Heaving a shaky breath, I worried the inside of the soft tissue of my cheek as I passed a road sign telling me the interstate was thirteen kilometres away.

A crazy idea took shape as I eased up on the gas.

Keep driving.

Never come back.

I gripped the steering wheel as if my life depended on it, caught within a swirling mess of indecision, reducing to a shattered accumulation of nervous energy.

Could I?

No. The bubble of hope left as quickly as it had arrived.

He would most likely report his car as stolen and have me arrested.

Why had I let him get rid of my car? Well, to be fair I hadn’t. It vanished the day this one arrived.

And I had no money to my name either. Cooper gave me an allowance for food and he paid for everything else.

All I was supposed to do was be the perfect wife.

But this morning changed all that. The event was soldered to my brain when Cooper had played one of his sick mind games on me, crushing a little more of my battered soul.

I couldn’t take this any longer. He was becoming unpredictable in his moods, becoming worse since he’d found out I’d been to visit Riley Jo. It triggered whatever crazy he hid from everyone else.

And now not satisfied with his ritual of humiliation or the degrading acts he inflicted. I’d become one of those insects you see kids torturing with a magnifying glass. Helpless. Weak.

And my mind was at breaking point.

My day had started like any other. Golden sunrays had slipped between the shutters and from the open window. Nature greeted me.

And today, being the bicentennial of Lockwood Creek, I hoped it would put Cooper in a good mood and I made my way downstairs with a spring in my step.

But that all went south as my foot touched the last step.

Cooper was on the phone with his father and I froze when I heard something smash. No doubt like the spoiled child he was, he had thrown something at the wall out of frustration.

Picking up my steps, I made my way to the kitchen and got busy preparing breakfast. And with knotted shoulders, I waited, fully expecting him to come through to the kitchen and take his anger out of me.

But he hadn’t, and breakfast had been a quiet affair with me all alone. Forcing myself to eat, each mouthful weighed heavy in my guts. Even my morning coffee was bitter and offered none of its usual enjoyment.

Finishing up, I cleared away the dishes, making sure the kitchen was spotless. I decided it was best that I stuck with my plan for the day. Heading back upstairs making sure I was quiet, I fixed my appearance and then plucked a brightly coloured hairband, gathering my hair and securing it into a ponytail.

Giving myself the once over, happy. I made my way downstairs and grabbed my phone, purse, and car keys.

About to head out, I heard him call out to me.

Darn it.

With a heavy sigh, I set them down and made my way toward his study. The door was ajar, and I popped my head inside. Instantly, my attention skated to the wall behind him, to the wall safe. It was open.

Fear beaded on my skin and a flush of goosebumps washed down my arms.

Cooper only kept one thing in that safe.

I forced my eyes to him trying to keep my voice calm. “You wanted sumthin’?" My panicked heartbeat filled my ears when I saw he was polishing his handgun.

It wasn’t the only gun we had in the house. He had lots of them in the gun cabinet. But that gun, the one in his hand, was the only one he’d threatened me with.

“Sit,” he said and used the gun to point at the seat in front of this large desk.

With a creak on the hinges, I pushed the door fully open, stepping inside whilst unconsciously my hands smoothed over my dress. “I have to be going soon. My mama’s expecting me.”

He opened the loading gate on the right side of the gun, centering the chamber he lifted it to eye level squinting one eye, looking through it, he rotated the chamber.

I could see it was empty. He flipped the lid on the bullet case and pulled out one, sliding it into the chamber and then clicked it in place and cocked the hammer to full cock.

His normally smooth hair was messy and there was no missing the look of crazy in his normally cold, passionless eyes. Slowly, he rose from his padded leather-backed seat with gun in hand and a cold sweat had broken out all over my skin.

“Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours.” He mocked me. “You’ll be on time, Princess.” He chuckled.

I should have been at ease with his words, but I felt anything but comforted.

“You ready to play the doting wife for all of Lockwood to see?” he asked as he came to stand right in front of me, forcing my head to angle up slightly.

I nodded, but my eyes shifted to the gun. He knew he was scaring me, but that wouldn’t deter him from whatever he had planned.

My gaze darted toward the door, wondering if I could make it out before he grabbed me.

“Ah, ah, ah. No running, Princess.” I sucked in a serrated breath when he placed the cold mental tip over my trembling lips.

“Open!”

Adrenaline and terror thrashed my heart to bash against my ribs.

“I said open,” he repeated through gritted teeth.

I jerked my head away instinctively. But he was quicker, grabbing my ponytail, wrapping it around his hand, yanking me toward him, tilting my head back, and holding me firmly in place.

“Fucking open your mouth, Maddy.”

“Cooper...” I sniffled. Tears pooled in my eyes as he tugged harder, causing my scalp to scream out in protest. “Please..." I pleaded, but his grip only tightened. He pushed the hard tip of the gun against my lips.

“Don’t make me ask you again.” His lips curled up into a cruel smile. “Just pretend it’s my cock.” Smirking. “Suck on it.”

The vulgar way he spoke had my stomach churning at the memory of me on my knees. Ever so slowly, I parted my lips, and he shoved the barrel into my mouth, pressing it against my tongue until the taste of cold metal and gun oil flooded my mouth and a whimper escaped.

“That’s right, darlin’ tighten those sweet lips around it.”

My mouth sealed around the gun and he pushed it further in and then dragged it out slowly. He repeated this three times. “Now this will help you remember who you belong to today and you’re gonna tell everyone how happy I make you. How you love being Mrs. Cooper Stanton.” He pulled the gun from my mouth. “Because if you don’t.” He ran the gun up my nose, pressing it against my forehead.

Tears wet my cheeks as fear exploded in my veins as my hands clenched into anxious fists and I jittered in panic. A tortured, desperate sound left my mouth.

He warned, with menace darkening his tone. “Then you won’t like what happens.” Pulling back on the trigger, my eyes slammed shut, expecting to hear a bang.

Nothing.

He saw my fear and gave a soft, wicked laugh. “Looks like it’s your lucky day, Princess.” Removing his hand from my hair, he pulled the gun away.

I sagged forward, limbs trembling. I sucked air into my dry lungs.

“Go on.” He waved the gun at the door. “You better get going. Don’t want to be late now.”

I was up out of the chair and scrambling for the door before I took another breath.

“Say hello to your Mama for me,” he taunted.

It was the final straw. He was flat-out crazy, for sure. I was done being the perfect daughter... perfect wife.

Enough was enough.

I pulled up outside of my family home. I shakily climbed out of the car and brushed down my dress. My tears may have dried, but my heart still wept. Heading inside, I looked in the main room, then the study and finally I ended up in the kitchen.

No one was here. Had she left already? And where was Stella?

“Mama,” I called out.

“I’ll be right down,” I heard her faint reply from upstairs.

I looked around the kitchen. It felt nice being back. And as the muscles in my shoulders relaxed a little, I helped myself to a tall glass of milk, sitting down at the family table.

My mama glided through the two-way swinging door into the kitchen. She stopped dead, her eyes widening, before dropping into a frown. “What are you wearing, child?”

No hello or greeting of any kind.

She shook her head. “That simply will not do. I have something more appropriate upstairs.” She pursed her lips, quirking a brow. “Something fitting of a Lockwood woman.”

I’d chosen a dress with sleeves that came to my elbows, they would at least hide the bruises. It hadn’t been enough that night he’d forced me to my knees. After dinner and a few glasses of whisky he threatened me and all the while his fingers had dug into my arms, holding me in place as he spewed his hate.

“This is the only dress I own with sleeves this long, Mama.”

I expected her to ask why.

“It’s ugly Maddy,” she spat out. “And I will not be seen with you wearing that!” She turned away from me and busied herself. “Perhaps you should give it away to charity—or better yet, your sister,” she threw out over her shoulder.

I ignored the jibe at Riley Jo. It wasn’t the time. “It’s the only dress that will cover up the bruises.” There I’d said it.

Mama spun my way eyeing me suspiciously. “Bruises?”

I nodded. “Yeah, call it a gift from my loving husband,” I snarked. “The man you forced me to marry.”

“I don’t believe you. Cooper would never—”

I held up my hand. “It’s not the first time, Mama. And I’m damn sure it won’t be the last.”

Not a flicker of shock passed over her face. Stood rigid, she appraised me for a moment. “What have you done?”

I slow blinked. What had I done?

I pressed my hand to my chest, my lips set in a firm line. “Even if I had done something. His behaviour toward me is unacceptable... wrong!” I sighed. “I want to leave him, Mama. I want to come home. Live here, with you and Daddy.”

She made a strangled sound. “Don’t be ridiculous, child.” Huffing. “You’re a married woman now.” Her heels clicked on the tiled floor as she came closer. “You made your bed and now you have to lie in it?”

“I made my bed Mama!?” I shook my head. “Me? As far as I can tell, I wasn’t given a choice. Save the family, you said.” I waved my hand. “We’d lose everythin’ you said.”

I pushed up from my chair. “I can’t do this any longer.”

Her voice lowered, edge in anger, demanding. “You can and you will.” She pushed back her shoulders. “You have little over a year left—”

I doubt I would survive another month if his erratic behaviour kept escalating. “Mama—I won’t survive a year.” Breathing deeply, I stood up straighter, attempting to hold myself like the grown-ass woman I was, when on the inside, I felt like a little girl lost, desperate for her Mama to acknowledge her pain.

“You’re being dramatic. Cooper is a good man and you should be happy that he decided he wanted you as a wife!”

What?

I yanked my sleeves up. Fresh purple bruises marred my tanned skin. “Look Mama. Are these the marks of a good man?” I glared right at her. “And should I be happy that he was involved in hurting Riley Jo?”

Her eyebrows curved in. “There’s no evidence to suggest such a thing.”

I continued. “Should I be happy that he used me as a punchbag?” I didn’t stop there as my voice hitched and anger steeled my frame. “Should I be happy when he forces me to my knees and makes me perform disgusting acts?”

She glared right back. My words had no impact. “It’s part of the marriage handbook, Maddy. I raised you right. It’s your job to look after your husband.” She tilted her chin defiantly. “And from what I hear, you’re not doing a very good job.”

Shock expanded in my lungs. What? “What the hell does that mean, Mama?”

Her soft nose crinkled and blue eyes slit. She looked me up and down. “It means I know all about your little problem.”

He’d told her we’d not had sex.

“No wonder it frustrates the poor man when you can’t even take care of his most basic needs.”

Her shrill voice hit my right in the chest as I stumbled back, the wooden chair pressing into the back of my knees.

She continued, spitting out her words. “You should be grateful he still wants you!” She pointed her perfectly manicured finger at me. “Look at you.” Her lips curled up in disgust. “Your hair is a mess. Your face is all blotchy, and you’re dressing no better than that sister of yours.”

Each word was like a strip of skin being ripped off. I’d been stupid to believe she cared about me.

“Are you saying you won’t let me come back, Mama?”

“You’re married now, and it’s about time you started acting like a wife and look after your husband.”

I couldn’t go back. I wouldn’t go back. I would ask my Nana for help. “Fine. I will speak to Nana Em.”

Three steps and she grabbed my arm, and I winced from the pain, trying to yank it free. “You will do no such thing upsetting your Nana with your lies.”

“They aren’t lies, Mama.”

Her eyes narrowed, but she softened her tone. “Doctors told us this week her heart is weak and she can’t have any stress. None whatsoever.”

I gasped and my eyes flashed wide. My nana’s heart was weak? Why hadn’t she told me? I shoved my problems to one side. “She’s gonna be okay, though, right?”

She let go of my arm, heaving a weighty, irritated sigh. “Your Nana’s not gettin’ any younger Maddy.”

And that gave me pause.

I slumped down on the chair. I couldn’t upset her with my problems. And I couldn’t go to Riley-Jo. Cooper would be crazy enough to head over there looking for me.

It felt as if a vice wrenched itself tighter and tighter around my throat.

My mama turned away from me, walking toward the kitchen counter to pick up her organizer. Opening, she tore out a page. I stared down at my lap listening to her footsteps return to me. She placed the torn page on the table.

“Now I suggest you stop with all this nonsense and grow up, Maddy.” She slid the torn paper toward me.

It was a to-do list for the celebrations.

“This needs doing today and you should remember you have a lot to be grateful for and start acting like the woman I raised you to be.”

I didn’t reply. I had no reply. My plans to gather my shattered wits were dead in the wind.

I was still trapped.

The door swung open and in walked Stella with a basket of apples. No doubt Howard had been collecting fruit from the orchards. She cast my mama a hard stare, but her eyes softened when they met mine.

My mama slammed her organizer shut. “Well, I can’t be standing here all day.” Her attention was back on me. “I expect to see you there.” She turned and flounced from the room.

Stella pulled out a chair and sat down right in front of me. “Child,” she said, reaching for both my hands to clasp them in hers. “I’m telling you right now, Maddy Lockwood. Your Nana has the heart of an ox. There ain’t nothing wrong with her apart from that sharp tongue of hers when she’s all riled up.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “What? So you’re telling me she’s not unwell?”

She shook her head, sighing. “I heard what your Mama said from outside.”

“She lied to me?”

Another nod.

“What ’bout Daddy?” Was he lying too?

Stella grunted. “Your daddy does what he’s told. Ever since...”

“Ever since what?”

She cast a glance over her shoulder, lowering her voice. “You never heard this from me.”

I nodded. “Your daddy has a gambling problem and your mama allows it to continue within reason.”

“What do you mean, within reason?”

“He has an allowance and as long as he toes the line. He can do whatever he wishes.”

How had I not known this?

“It’s been going on for years, child.”

“Is that why they have financial problems?”

“No,” she scoffed, pulling her head back. “Child. Your Nana still holds all the purse strings.” She huffed. “All this—the house. The money. It only gets handed to your Mama when she dies.”

Then why did I need to marry Cooper? “So—so I didn’t have to marry Cooper?”

She stared back at me, eyes full of regret. “It’s only recently I found out your mama had forced you into it.”

“Why? Why was it important that I marry him?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, child, but your mama does nothing without it being of benefit to her.”

Stella let go of my hands and cupped my cheeks. “Go find your Nana Em. Tell her everything.”

For the first time in months, I felt hope. “Thank you, Stella.” She smiled back at me. “You may have just saved my life.”

Nana Em would believe me.