Shattered Hearts A MFM Love Story

~ ~ Maddy ~ ~

~ ~Three months later ~ ~

Holding my mug of coffee with both hands, I was not so subtly staring at Jackson and Logan across the breakfast table as they talked animatedly.

They were chatting about their new business venture with the Timberfells from our neighbouring Ranch. When I told Jackson and Logan about what Cooper had said about their land and them sitting on a small gold mine and what the Stantons intended on doing. They had quickly jumped into action rallying around all the surrounding properties and everyone agreed not to sell an inch of their lands to those wily snakes - The Stantons.

But the Timberfells had fallen on harder times and were about to sign over everything they owned. Until Jackson and Logan stepped in and bought a third of it and together came up with a business plan, that would turn the Timberfells ranch into one of those working holiday ranches that all those fancy city folks love to visit.

Them Stantons thinking my men were dumb as posts had us having the last laugh and I was so proud of them.

My Nana had also made it public knowledge that all Lockwood land would be put into a protected trust and no drilling would ever be allowed.

Not surprisingly, the Stantons claimed to have no knowledge of what Cooper had told me, telling us it was all on him. He’d gone crazy. And sadly, we had no proof. But we all knew Cooper wasn’t smart enough to have done it on his own.

That family was almost as unbelievable as mine. And speaking of family.

Mama.

Today was the day I’d agreed to go see her. She was currently residing at HeartLite Psychiatric Hospital. Two hours away from Lockwood.

On the night of Daddy’s shooting, down at the Sheriff’s Department, she had assaulted two deputies when they’d told her she couldn’t leave. And going in front of a judge the next morning after spending the night in a jail cell she’d told him she had every right to do what she did and they had no right to hold her because in her own words... she was Mercy Jane Lockwood and she owned the town of Lockwood and apparently owned the judge too.

As you can imagine, that didn’t go down well, and he clearly thought she wasn’t in her right mind and sent her to HeartLite for a thirty-day evaluation which had turned into three months and counting.

They’d said when she was well enough she would go on trial, for the attempted murder. I wanted them to charge her with having a hand in what happened to Casey, but only armed with the words of a dead man, that wouldn’t happen.

But I knew and I would never forgive her for that.

Why was I going to see her, you ask?

Well, I wanted to look her dead in the eye when I asked her why she’d done it and whether she was sorry

Everyone kept telling me it was a waste of time, but it was something I had to do.

But that was later and right now I focused on my two sexy men, honestly they should come wrapped in warning tape as a hazard to my body temperature.

And I wasn’t sure why but today they looked even sexier than usual. Nothing was new. Apart from Jackson’s hair was longer than I was used to, dusting the top of the black tee-shirt he had on and Logan had at least three days’ worth of stubble.

But still just sitting here with them had my heart thumping and further south... well, it was fair to say; I wanted us to pick up from where we left off. But since the shooting and spending eight days in the hospital, they’d both taken to treating me like I was made of glass.

And that needed to stop. Today.

In fact, when I woke up this morning, I decided it was time we got on with our lives, which meant us getting married and having a baby! And not necessarily in that order, well I did want to get married first, but if I so happened to be pregnant at the time of exchanging vows, then I could happily live with that.

And didn’t my womb clench at the idea of us having a baby.

“Princess?”

Jackson’s voice cut into my daydreams. I blinked. “Sorry, I missed that?”

Logan grinned. “You also missed some drool.” He leaned across and pretended to swipe it away, trailing his thumb across my bottom lip.

My face flamed. “I was not drooling, Logan Reilly.” I might have been. “I was wondering if we needed any washing detergent.”

“Sure, Princess,” laughed Jackson. “I was saying, do you think Casey’s okay up there? None of us have seen her since yesterday.”

Casey.

Nothing was the same for her since that night. My wounds had all but healed—the physical ones. And the emotional ones, well, every time I woke from a nightmare or felt sad, I quickly reminded myself that she had suffered... if not more so than me. In truth, most of those nightmares were about Casey and what happened.

Jackson kept telling me we should call it what it was.

Rape.

But I hated that word.

And if that made me a coward. Then so be it.

For the first month, Casey had shut herself off completely. She would hardly talk, eat or leave her room and wouldn’t even see or speak to her best friend, Whitney.

But just shy of two months, we were told the men responsible had taken a plea bargain because they’d filmed what they had done to her.

It sickened me right down to my bones what they did and the seven years they got handed down to them would never be enough. The only small blessing was they were far away from Lockwood.

And them not walking around free helped get Casey out of her room and she agreed to start therapy and she was still seeing Dr Josephs twice weekly and we’d seen improvements.

And up to a few days ago, we’d even seen brief flickers of the old Casey... our sister.

And didn’t that seem weird sharing a sister with Logan and Jackson? But me and Riley Jo had done everything we could to show her she was part of us now and would be there every step of the way to help her heal.

Casey also said she wanted to build a relationship with our daddy.

Yeah, he survived the shooting, but they had to remove his pancreas, which meant he would be on medication for the rest of his life, but I guess that was a small price to pay.

But how did I feel about him?

I reckon I was in the same boat as Riley Jo.

We were glad he didn’t die, but was we ever gonna forgive and forget?

Hell to the no!

He’d stood at my mama’s side knowing exactly what she was doing and did nothing to stop it. That made him just as bad in my books.

I honestly didn’t know why Nana was still letting him live up at the big house.

“I’ll go up and see if she’s okay.” Pushing up from my chair, Logan and Jackson looked relieved. Halfway out of the kitchen, I spun around. I might as well tell them now.

“I’ve decided there is no reason we can’t get married. So decide who it’s gonna be and let’s just do it. The sooner the better. No mess. No fuss!”

I might have heard their jaws landing on the table.

“And tonight, I’m taking you boys to bed.” We have a lot of missed time to make up for.

I threw in a flirty smile and a wink and then spun around not waiting for their reaction.

Well, Riley Jo kept telling me I needed to be more assertive. So this was me doing just that. I wanted a ring on my finger... and a surname I could shout out loud. Maddy Reilly.

Why the rush? If I was sure of anything, it was that life was fleeting and I was never taking it for granted again.

Heading up the stairs toward Casey’s room, I knocked and waited.

Nothing.

I knocked again, and this time called out her name.

Again, nobody responded. Opening her door, I popped my head inside. And that’s when I heard an odd sound coming from the bathroom.

Was she sick in there?

Shutting the door, I hurried over.

Casey was kneeling on the floor with her head over the toilet basin. Her hair curtained her face, and I scooped it back to see better.

“Oh, Christ. Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick, Casey?”

She groaned out something, then heaved again, and I wrinkled my nose.

A minute later, I set her hair free as she sat back on her calves and dragged a hand across her mouth. “Sorry, you had to see that.” She pushed up, and I moved back to give her some space. Casey turned to the washbasin and washed over her face and then reached for her toothbrush and toothpaste.

Turning off the facet, she slowly turned around to face me.

Damn. She looked a wreck. Her skin was paper-white and her eyes were sunken. I moved closer, reaching for her hand, which was clammy and cold as ice. “You look terrible. Do you need a doctor?”

She shook her head.

“Okay, then. C’mon, let’s get you back into bed and I can get you some broth or something to settle your stomach.” I gave a little tug, but she pulled her hand free of mine.

“No, it’s...” she wiped her palms on her shorts. “I’m not sick Maddy.”

“Well, I beg to differ.” Flicking my head toward the toilet. “You don’t have your head hanging in the toilet basin for no good reason.”

She winced and turned away, but I don’t miss the stricken look on her face or the way her shoulders hugged her ears.

“Casey...” It took her a moment, but letting a sigh drag down her shoulders, she looked at me.

“I’m not sick,” she repeated. “I’m pregnant.”

I was sure my eyes lit up with fear and the room felt smaller, hotter as a heavy silence grew between us. I was sure anything I said would sound cliché and counterfeit, but I had to try. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Got one of those test thingies, the ones where you pee on the little stick, k’now?” she croaked. “The other day, before my doctor’s appointment.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen them.” My eyes dropped on her tummy, which looked as flat as a pancake. “I think we need to see a medical doctor, one of those OBGYNs. It could be wrong.”

This time, she shook her head as her small hand moved to sit over her non-existent bump. “It's not wrong, Maddy. I know it. I feel different too.”

Twin tears rolled down my cheeks, and I acted quickly to swipe them away.

Casey moved past me, walking back to her bed climbing in she tucked herself under the quilt and faced the other way with her back to me.

That’s it?

No crying or raging at the world?

She needed to do all those things, not bottle it up.

Heck, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t force her emotions, and I thought about calling Riley Jo over.

I moved and sat on the bed, but I didn’t know what to do for the best. Having a baby was normally a time of joy. Something to celebrate.

But this?

“What do you want to do?” I said softly. “You have a choice in this.”

Because she didn’t damn well have any choice in what happened to her.

Casey moved to lie flat on her back, staring at the ceiling as she wiped one eye with the heel of her palm. “I don’t know.” Loosening a sigh. “What would you do?”

I blinked, a strange sense of numbness blanketing me. “I don’t know, Casey.” shaking my head side-to-side, slowly, repeating, “I just don’t know.”

Why did this have to happen? On top of everything else, she went through?

Where was the fairness in it all?

I straightened up a little. I was her big sister. She needed me to be strong. “I need you to know whatever you decide, me, Riley Jo. Logan, Jackson and Jody too. We’re all here for you. Do you hear me? We are here.”

She didn’t respond, so I scooted up the bed and lay next to her, only slipping out of the room when I heard her breaths slow. Downstairs was quiet. Logan had headed out and Jackson was no doubt in his office.

I was right and found Jackson with a frown tugging at his brow as he read over some paperwork. But on hearing me coming in, he put down the paper, and a smile replaced his frown. “Ready when you are, Princess?” His smile wasn’t there long, sensing something was wrong. “What’s the matter?”

Casey had given me her blessing to tell them both.

Jackson’s face showed many emotions as I spilled the beans before he became angry.

Uh oh.

He was now standing, hands on hips, his spine stiffer than stone gazing out the window.

And then his shoulders rose, and he sucked in what I was sure was a calming breath.

Or at least I hoped it was.

“Jesus-age Christ,” he muttered for the umpteenth time. “Those twisted fuckers raped her, Maddy,” he spun around, dropping his hands to his sides. His face was a dark mask of seriousness.

“You have to get her to have an abortion. She doesn’t have to suffer this!”

What?!

How freaking dare he dictate something like that.

Rage spiked my pulse and flared my nostrils. “I’m gonna do no such thing, Jackson Reilly!” His eyes went as round as they could go, but I wasn’t done yet. “This is her body and that baby, no matter how it happened or who its father is or how ugly or despicable the truth is in it all. It’s her baby too.”

I lifted my hand and pointed my finger right at him. “Neither you, nor I, nor anyone else, is going to tell her what to do. You got that?”

He moved to stand right behind the high-back leather chair, and curled his fingers around the edges; making the material crease under their brutal grip. “She doesn’t even know which one the father will be other than he’s a lowlife piece of shit who deserves nothing more than a bullet between the eyes.”

“I don’t care.” Almost spitting feathers. “We respect what Casey wants and support any decision she makes.”

Jackson sighed and I couldn’t listen to any more. “And if you can’t be supportive, then I’m warning you—you better keep your thoughts to yourself.”

Flipping around, I marched to the door and yanked it open, leaving him standing there. Halfway out the door, I paused my steps but didn’t turn around. “You don’t need to come with me today.” He’d been the first to offer to go with me to see Mama. Riley Jo had said she wanted nothing more to do with her, and I respected that.

Jackson said something, but I slammed the door behind me, walking away as fast as I could.

Getting showered and ready to leave, I took up some milk and crackers for Casey before I left. Seeing she was still asleep, I put them on the dresser next to the bed and just watched her for a minute.

I jumped when she spoke without opening her eyes.

“You don’t have to be watching over me all the time,” she said. “I’m gonna be fine.”

I hoped that was true. “Right. Okay. Well, I’m heading out for a while. I left you some crackers which I heard are good for...” I paused. “Y’know, the sickness.” I pointed, but she wasn’t looking. “And some milk too.”

“Thanks,” she said in a flat tone.

“We can talk when I get back.” I leaned in and kissed her forehead, but she said nothing more as I left the room and headed downstairs.

Jackson was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. I said nothing, brushing past him, but he followed me out and climbed into the passenger seat of the truck.

“I’m sorry,” he started. “For what I said back there. I—” he stopped. “It just seems unfair, but you’re right in what you said. This is Casey’s decision.”

Not looking his way, I asked. “And you’re going to be supportive and not be an asshole toward her?”

“You have my word...not to be an asshole.”

That was good enough for me. “Thank you.”

It was another few minutes before he spoke again and a quick glance showed a smile spreading across his face. “What made you happy all of a sudden, huh?” Refocusing on the road.

He answered with a question of his own. “Were you serious, earlier talking ’bout getting married right-away?”

I was wondering when one of them would bring this up. “As serious as a fox in a hen-house.”

I side-eyed to see him nod slowly. “And you don’t have a preference or want a say in this princess?”

I sighed out loud. “Look. We all know I can’t marry both of you, and there is no way I’m choosing neither. So, flip a coin. Mud wrestle, or do whatever it is you need to do to decide between you both.”

“Mud wrestling?” he chuckled at that.

I rolled my eyes. “Was that the only thing you heard?”

“What? So no fancy proposal or romantic gesture? Big fancy wedding. Nothing?”

“No. I just want to get started on our forever. And I see no point in waiting.”

Half of Lockwood attended my first wedding and what a sham that was. And I already knew the stigma of small-town thinking and what they all thought about my relationship with Logan and Jackson, so why would I invite that into my life?

He reached over and stroked his thumb over my cheek. “Okay then. Forever it is.”

“Good.”

It took us two hours to arrive at our destination. We signed in at a fancy front desk that looked like it belonged in some fancy hotel rather than a hospital. And then a pretty nurse led us around back, outside to some fancy gardens because mama was outside—painting, if you could believe it.

“Your mama’s paints?” whispered Jackson as I took his hand in mine and we walked toward her.

It was the first time Jackson wasn’t using his stick either, but I kept that to myself as he didn’t like me making a fuss. Leaning into him, I whispered. “I’ve never seen her lift a brush.” Catching sight of the same colour hair as mine, I knew it was her without seeing her face.

There were quite a few other patients outside. Some were painting. Others were exercising in what looked like yoga.

It was all very relaxing.

I didn’t bother faking a smile as I called out, “Mama.”

She flipped around, brush in hand.

It took me by surprise, seeing her without make-up or dressed up like she was attending some fancy event.

“Maddy,” she smiled, throwing her arms wide in some grand gesture. “Look, I just finished painting a picture of you.”

She moved aside so we could see the canvas. It looked nothing like me apart from the blonde hair. She put the brush down and glided toward us like a queen gracing us with her presence.

Jackson muttered, “Oh, boy.” squeezing my hand a little tighter.

“Look, everyone. My beautiful daughter has arrived,” she announced and heads turned our way as she drew me into a hug. “I’m so happy you came,” she whispered.

I stood stiffly until she finally unwrapped herself and moved to cup my cheeks in her cool hands. Head cocking to the side, her eyes moved over my face and then down over my body. “I see you’ve put on some weight.”

Ah. There was the mama I knew. Tongue sharper than any blade.

It wasn’t worth a reaction, so instead I did my own studying and thought about mentioning her crow’s feet were quite visible without her makeup, but I bit it back because being nasty wasn’t in my nature.

“Maddy is beautiful inside and out!” Jackson jumped to my defence. “Unlike some, I could mention.”

My mama’s head swung his way. “Which one are you again?” she asked.

“I’ll give you a hint, Mrs Lockwood.” He didn’t even try to hide his grin. “Last time you saw me was when I tossed you out of our house on your ass.”

Her eyes narrowed, and I thought she was gonna give him a tongue-lashing. Instead, she hummed and looked at our entwined fingers and then lifted her eyes back to mine.

“I’m gonna be coming home soon and then I will make everything right,” she said.

She couldn’t be serious? “There is no way to make what you did right, Mama. Not this time.”

She waved it off with a pffing sound.

“I’ve only come today to ask if you’re sorry and why. Why do everything you did?” I still didn’t understand any of it. “How could you be so cruel? Ruthless?”

“Your mouth has gotten so much worse lately,” she reprimanded me in her usual off-the-cuff tone. “That isn’t how you speak to your Mama. After everything I’ve given up to raise you, I deserve your utmost respect.”

Her words didn’t hold water like they used to.

My mama had always believed she had the right to control me, even now I was an adult. Both my parents expected me to honour them and pay homage just because I was their daughter. My mama especially wanted me to be her idea of perfect. Never speaking up for myself and did exactly as I was told without question.

“Are you not going to answer me, Mama?”

“Like I already said, when I get back, things will be better.”

“Are you not sorry at all?”

“Sorry for what? Making sure you had a good life. Keeping our family together?”

I held up my hand to stop her. “Mama. Stop.” I turned to Jackson. “Let’s go. This was a stupid idea.” Everyone was right. I would never get answers. She didn’t believe she had done any wrong.

We turned around and started walking away.

“Madelyn Marie Lockwood! Don’t you dare walk away from me. Come back right now!”

Ignoring my mama, I looked up at Jackson. “I want to be married by the end of the month.”

“Mrs Madelyn Marie Reilly,” said Jackson. “Now that’s a name I love already.”

“Me too.”

And I walked away with a lightness I’d never felt before. I guess it was due to leaving the past behind me.

Because I had a future to get started on.