SWNOVELS Chapter 33
Liza looks at me as if I’ve sprouted two heads, and from her viewpoint, it probably does seem that way. I’ve filled her in on the whirlwind of events that took place in New York. A week ago I was planning on killing Maxim, and now I can’t keep my hands off him.
“It’s a lot to digest,” Liza says, sitting back and running a hand down her cheek.
“It is,” I agree. I pick up a fiery-red nail polish from the table in front of us. “Do you think this color complements my skin tone?”
“Forget your skin tone,” Liza snatches the bottle I’m examining and sets it down firmly between us. “I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that you followed Maxim to an underground fight in New York, accused him of murdering your aunt, and instead of killing you on the spot, he… well, you know what,” she says, reddening slightly. “And then he promised to help you track down the real killer.”
I let out a heavy sigh, leaning my elbows on the table cluttered with Liza’s assortment of nail polishes and the latest issues of Architectural Digest. She’s spending the day with me, catching up and helping me brainstorm interior design ideas. Much to Nadya’s dismay, I’ve started to redecorate Irina’s old sitting room to give myself purpose before I go out of my mind with boredom. With Maxim constantly working and at war with the Black Company, leaving the estate isn’t really an option, so having a visitor is a welcome change.
“I know it sounds insane, but it’s true. He’s already begun the process of hunting down Masha’s killer.”
I’ve given Maxim all I could to help—my aunt’s diary, a list of her contemporaries, and any other details and memories that might be relevant. The horrific images of her lifeless body and the menacing letter I received were burned long ago, but I described everything I could recall from them, the haunting visuals forever etched in my memory. It was hard to go there, but Maxim held my hand and talked me through it, not allowing me to slip down the dark rabbit hole of guilt and despair.
The fact that he’s making finding Masha’s killer a priority with everything else he has going on means something to me.
“And you’re … physical?”
I arch an eyebrow. No point in mincing words. “Very.”
She smirks. “That certainly explains your glow.”
“What are you talking about?” I bring my hand to my face. I’m not glowing.
“You seem, I dunno, happy. Relaxed.”
I shrug, attempting to pull off a casual gesture. “The sex is good. It’s been a while since I’ve been with a man who knows what he’s doing.”
“So what happens from here?” Her eyes widen to the size of saucers. “Does he still expect an heir?”
I pause in thought, examining an eggshell-blue nail polish. “I … I don’t think so. This is still an arrangement. It’s not like we have feelings for each other.” I bite my lip and avoid Liza’s probing gaze because I don’t want her to see the truth I can barely admit to myself. Maxim has burrowed under my skin. I’ve let myself get wrapped up in him.
It started in the mayor’s basement when he broke the man’s hand in my defense. He kicked a flight attendant off a plane mid-flight, and he didn’t hesitate for a moment to try and save my life at the wine auction. But maybe I’m reading too much into his actions.
Maxim is still a mystery. He’s opened up a little about his past, but there’s something else he’s guarding. A hurt he holds close to his heart. I assume it has to do with Irina. But with everything that’s happening, he’s been working so hard. When he does fall into bed beside me at night, I hardly want to bring up his past. It’s none of my business, and I want him to take comfort in my arms, like I take comfort in his.
“Masha would love this blue color,” I say, hoping to distract Liza from asking more questions I don’t know how to answer.
“She definitely would,” she agrees. “Edgy but still glamorous. It suits you.” She takes the bottle of nail polish from me and gestures for me to lay my hand flat on the table, and I comply. “So, where’s your shadow? I’m used to Roman always lurking around.”
I have to hide my smile. For a girl who can’t stand the man, she seems surprisingly curious about him.
“I don’t need him by my side in the house. Only when I leave here, which won’t be happening for a while.” I stretch out my hand, watching as she applies the polish with smooth, careful strokes.
“By the way, I have those birth control pills you asked for. I’ll drop them off tomorrow. Sorry it took so long to get them. I had to be careful so Anatoly didn’t find out about it since me being a virgin is part of his deal with my parents.” She sticks her finger down her throat, and I couldn’t agree more.
“Thank you,” I say with genuine gratitude. “You got it just in time. I’m expecting my period soon, but after that, I’ll need to get on birth control.”
“The doctor said to start the pill on the first day of your menstrual cycle.” Liza’s eyes narrow on me. “What have you been using for protection?”
I bite my lower lip. “Uh, nothing. I know, I know … but before you say anything, let me point out that we only started having sex after ovulation.”
She lets out a small whistle. “Girl, I might be a virgin, but even I know that’s a terrible idea.”
I sigh, my shoulders slumping. “It’s a little late for regrets. Anyway … I much rather we talk about a way for you to ditch Anatoly but keep all of his family’s money.”
She lets out a laugh, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I know this arranged marriage weighs heavily on her. How could it not? Being tied to someone horrible for the rest of your life sounds like hell.
“Yeah, maybe in a perfect world that would be possible.” She pauses, her expression turning somber. “Someone came by the house yesterday to collect on Papa’s gambling debt. The maid told him that Papa is still in Poland, but how long can we keep putting off these creditors? The next time they come by, who knows what they’ll do.”
Nails be damned, I reach out and firmly grasp her hand, offering a reassuring squeeze. “Let me tell Maxim. He can help.”
“No. Please, I don’t want to involve him. Or anyone, for that matter. As soon as I marry Anatoly, we’ll have the money to settle all of my father’s debts. I have to manage until then.”
“If you’re in danger in any way, you come to me.”
“I will,” she says, focusing on my nails again.
“Hey.” I snatch my hand away so she has to meet my eyes. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you. Promise you won’t shoulder this alone.”
“I promise.” She smiles wistfully. “It’s so great to have you back here. Just having a friend to talk to … it makes everything easier. I don’t feel so alone.”
My heart sinks thinking about the struggles she faced. “I’ll always be here for you. No matter what. Even when I’m back in New York.”
Her eyebrows knit together, a small crease forming on her forehead. “Are you planning on leaving soon?”
“Well, no, but at some point.” I shrug. This isn’t forever—how could it be?
Liza avoids my gaze, focusing on my hand, her movements slower as she resumes painting my nails. “Then, let’s enjoy the time we have together now.”
I smile sadly. “That’s exactly what Masha would have said.”
Because Masha didn’t believe in wasted moments nor regret. She was a believer in living for the moment and letting the rest take its course. It would do me good to remember that.