Sharp

I was at the door step of my house. The house that quite honestly doesn’t feel like a home anymore. This desire to make amends was strong, yet my hand was struggling to open the door. To walk inside. It was already starting to get really dark outside and I can only imagine what was waiting for me inside. Was my mom going to really let me have it? Any chance, she could just pretend I didn’t exist? Until I chose to leave forever.

The whole walk home, I was worried they had noticed I left. Fearing that Tony would be rushing after me. My walking was simple and I tried my best not to stomp too hard or slide my feet too much. Leaves were hard to avoid since they are everywhere now. In the driveway through the woods, the leaves were less often since most of the trees didn’t have leaves to begin with.

The way back to my house, I have to travel the long street that’s surrounded by woods. It being dusk, the tree’s shadows seemed more scary than usual. The slight wind making it difficult to hear anything or anyone approaching me. Arriving home safe made me believe that Tony couldn’t escape Tiffany in time to go after me.

My hand twisted the knob and good thing it was unlocked or else I wouldn’t have been able to go inside quietlys Since I left my backpack at the mansion which held my keys. Slowly opening the door to make sure I could pass through without making any loud noise. Which didn’t happen as planned. The door proceeded to make a creeky noise from the hinges being so old. When the door opened fastly it didn’t make that noise. Only when it was opened slowly.

Once I got inside, I saw my mom sitting at the right of the door, in the small front room right at the front of the house. Sitting on the large couch with a book in her hand. The lights were dimmed low enough to read, but not high enough to make it look like an active room.

Her blonde hair was pulled back with a cloth headband and she was already dressed in her lavender colored nightgown with a few butterflies along the front. I could tell she was waiting for my arrival. She didn’t look happy, yet she didn’t look incredibly unhappy.

“Can you come sit with me?” Her sweet voice made me want to cry. It didn’t sound threatening or ready to hurt me mentally or physically.

The moment I felt like I needed her the most was now. My mind struggled to balance my hate for her. Yet another part of me that seemed forced wanted to be with my mom. It seemed like lately she’s been increasingly abusive. She never took things from me like she did before. She was always the balance in the house; like when my brothers would argue, she would be the median and make sure that everything got resolved. Plenty other times where her expertise has been greatly needed to bring back peaceful flow through the house.

It seemed so suddenly that she brought such a strange vibe of hatred towards me, yet I didn’t notice that strange behavior until now. She wasn’t always so aburdly obvious with her emotions or feelings. My mom knew how to be a great mom, she has carried our family through the crisis of our father’s death. The death that shouldn’t have happened. Yet, she held us when necessary and loved us deeply. Giving us support when needed.

My feet slide across the floor, I felt like this was going to be the last straw with her or a renewed conversation. One that would settle the raging waters. I felt like I deserved the worst of it all. I sat at the other side of the couch from her. Leaving enough room for at least two people to sit inbetween us.

“What happened today? I got a call again from the school that you missed all but your first class. Then you don’t come home until 8 o’clock.” Her voices didn’t rise or become scary. She wanted a true answer and her eyes showed mercy towards me.

“I went to my first class. Then I truly cut my hand pretty badly with a piece of paper. The worse paper cut I’ve ever had. Then I just didn’t want to go on with the rest of the school day. Coming home wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to never come back. I wanted to run away and go as far as possible. I felt like I never belonged here. The way things went down that other day and the past weekend, I didn’t want anymore of that. I didn’t want to be treated that way again. I’m sorry for running away from school. I’m sorry mom. I just felt incredibly helpless.” I couldn’t cry to my own response. Even though I left out anything that had to do with Tony. To prevent further questioning.

“Thank you for telling me the truth. The nurse from your school came here to make a house visit. To make sure everything was alright. She thought that you were self harming but confessed that you were just going through a hard time and my heart stopped. I felt terrible about the things I had done. I don’t know what had gone over my head lately. Even at work I’ve been more on edge and took a few days off to take some time for myself. Maybe the reality check is what I need. I’m sorry, sweetie. The way I acted should have never happened. Looking back now, it was as if I wasn’t myself.” She placed the book on the coffee table, it looked to be one for her work. Something related to therapy or psychology.

“After your dad died, I can say I wasn’t acting like myself most of the time. I’ve been more on edge and have done my best to treat all of you fairly. Hearing other people talk about their lives when I needed to talk about my own, began to be strenuous. We all were in a rough patch and clearly still are. I thought things were finally going well. You all were doing amazing in school and having fun. I’m not sure what set me off so badly, but I will make sure that I control my anger better. It shouldn’t have gotten to where it was and I deeply apologize.”

The sudden change of heart calmed my anxious nerves. I felt more welcomed in this home. There has been distancing lately since we’re all busy doing our own things and I shouldn’t have taken that as abandonment. This past week was the worst I’ve ever felt in a long time. Maybe it was a good idea after all, to be away from Tony. All he did was bring bad mojo into my life. Yet deep down, he made things exciting too. Brought my eyes to see magnificent things that I could only imagine. Feel protected when I needed it the most. When no one else would protect me. Also see a different side to what this earth has to offer. A side that is scary while also being so intriguing.

“I forgive you, mom. I haven’t been acting the best I should have been either. I’ve also been struggling with people bullying me. When I confessed to you about how someone wanted to kill me and you didn’t care.” I took a deep breath, “I felt so lost. As if no one cared. My brothers usually are absence to my despair. They don’t get involved with my life since I’m the outcast at school. Which you neglected it completely and didn’t change your tone. I didn’t want to come back. Ever. I felt like you wanted me dead as well.” My face couldn’t help but frown deeply.

My mom scooted across the whole couch to come sit right next to me. Her arms wrapped around me, which at that point I began to cry. Her motherly smell, the smell I can never forget. The classic rose scent that blistered with fragrance of sweet nectarines. A fresh yet lady like smell that only made me think of her. Even when smelt on another person, I could only see her warm smile in the back of my mind.

I deeply sunk my nose into the smell. It was calming me but making me still tear up since I felt like I was welcomed to let my tears fall and they would be accepted.

“It’s okay, sweetie. I’m glad you’re back now. I wish I had acted differently to the whole situation. The way I acted wasn’t right and I can understand your side completely. I’m surprised you are back. But I am thrilled you’re here.” She squeezed more firmly. “I love you, Becca. I can’t imagine a world without my first daughter. I don’t even want to think about you being dead. I’m completely and udderly sorry for my lack of compassion at that time. It wasn’t right of me. And we will solve the bullying thing together. I’ll call the school and see that you are safe. If not, I will follow through that you get homeschool.” She let go of me and looked me in my eyes. “Can I ask what is going on? So I can’t try and fix things.”

“Well, it’s been resolved now. The girl who was bullying me got into a really bad accident. After that the whole school acted completely different. As if I didn’t matter anymore. Like, as if she was the reason everyone was mean to me in the first place.”

“Wow. Was it that girl, Misty? They reported to not have found the body of hers after the crash. As if the car really crushed her body into nothing. They suggested her body flew out or someone took her. I can’t imagine something like that happening to your dad.” She shook her head in disbelief. “Besides that, I’m glad things are looking up for you.”We both smiled softly at one another. “I do expect you to attend school though. If there is something else going on that’s preventing you from going, you need to let me know. Okay?”

“Okay, mom. I promise.”

“Alrighty then. I did put all your books, your computer, your door, and your phone back in your room. I’m sorry for taking those things away. It shouldn’t have gotten that far but they’re all waiting for you.” She grinned. “As well as a surprise, an apology present I suppose.”

“Thanks. You didn’t have to. I think I’m going to take a shower and head off to bed though. I think today was too long and I’m ready to hit the hay.”

She nodded, “Alrighty, have a good night. I’m going to go to bed after locking up the house.” She stood up and went for the front door as I travelled separately to the stairs and began going forward to my room.

When I got to the top of the steps, I saw the missing door back on the hinges and the door was wide open. I walked across the carpet to enter the room and saw that there was a much newer laptop sitting on my desk. Much slimmer and taking up less space on the surface of the desk. The old computer sat on the ground next to the desk. As if making sure I could transfer files and such if needed. Even though I didn’t have much on the old computer since it was that slow.

My phone was settled on my made bed with a wrapped chocolate bar on top. I went for my phone and could see from the corner of my eyes all the books settled on my bookshelf. They were arranged much differently but after a quick scan, I could tell they were alphabetized from the author’s last name. Which I had no plans on changing.

I grabbed my phone and sat on my bed. I needed to see all the text messages that I missed. I knew there had to have been plenty of them from Tony. At least I hoped.

7 unread messages. My iPhone showed through a red circle with the white number placed inside.

As I opened the application, I could see that all of them were in fact from Tony. My curiosity needed to see what he said. I quickly scrolled up to the first message, since he was the only one that had texted me.

Tony: I had a wonderful day with you. I hope you can ask your mom to let me have tomorrow with you to have a date.

Tony: Today is the day, I will try and swing by around 3 o’clock. If I see sights of you, I will know that we have a date. If not, then I can figure out that your mom disapproved out date.

Tony: It saddens me that we couldn’t have our date tonight. I will reschedule it at some point in time. Possible next weekend. I figure your mom probably took your phone. I suppose I will try to see you some other way. Possibly on Monday.

Tony: If your mom gives you back your phone, please call me when you get these texts. Especially this one. There is something I need to talk to you about. You will be safe at school. I just need to talk to you.

The text message from that one to the next one was a little less than an hour away from one another.

Tony: I suppose you don’t need to call me. Everything is completely fine. I suppose I will see you on Monday, Rebecca.

The next two text messages were just recently. In the past 30 mintues.

Tony: I hope you got your phone back. I need to talk to you. I’m sorry about my sister. I am unsure why she’s trying to keep me from seeing you and you from seeing me. It isn’t safe for you to go to school. Please don’t go! Resist her compulsions, if you can. I don’t know what she has planned for this situation but I don’t think it’s a good one. Be wary of my sister and especially the Huntington sisters. They are not to be trusted. If you follow through with being their friends, be careful. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.

Tony: If you ever get your phone back, please call me. I can’t stand not hearing your voice. I don’t know when I will be able to hear your voice again. My sister told me that she has rid you of the land. If you try to come here? you won’t have access to the land. At the same time, if I knew you were here I would let you in no matter what. I just hope that it doesn’t make it so you can’t see the mansion. Just like how we talked about. I really shouldn’t say that over text but whatever. Please call me when you get your phone. Please, Rebecca.

I tried to dial his number but then a new number was calling my phone in that exact moment. I didn’t know whether to answer it or not but I couldn’t resist.

“Hello?”

“Whatever you do, do NOT call Tony.” I could hear Tiffany’s voice.

“Why?”

“I forbid it. Calling him won’t help him and it won’t help the situation. You have a task you need to fulfill and that comes before Tony. Your job is to protect Him. If without you, the plan will crumble into ash. Almost literally.”

“Okay. I understand Tiffany.” My obligation was beaming in my mind. That was the most important task of my life. It felt much stronger than my desire to be with Tony, or to call him. Even though I knew it was forced inside of me, it didn’t feel less important.

“Alright. If you can, save my number as well into your phone. Save it as a family member or something. Also, delete and block Tony’s phone number, immediately. It’s important to the task your about to do. You can’t be caught with his phone number in your phone. They will kill you if they figure it out. We can’t have that.”

“Okay, I understand.”

“Alright, I will see you tomorrow at school then. Till then, Becca.”

“Bye.”

The phone conversation has ended. My fingers quickly did as they were asked. I deleted all the messages. I block his phone number. I removed all evidence from my phone that correlated me with him. I even went to Facebook and blocked him there. I removed all messages from him from there too. As if he didn’t exist anymore. He couldn’t exist, it meant his safety and my own. I needed to make sure that I did everything right.